@LaserEye I like that you laid it out for her that way; it’s very clear.
My husband is a teacher, so we get to hear his stories too. In fact recently something happened at one of his school camps, which was similar to what you recounted.
Just musing on this:
Sometimes, it can be very surprising/hurtful/jarring when we’re on the receiving end of negative behaviours. And we might feel that if we had caused any pain, even accidentally, we would have displayed much more care.
In most instances, how we handle these situations says a lot about our personality and values, and our ability to manage our own emotions. At the same time, some parents could be facing multiple stressors, e.g. financial/caregiving pressures or marital breakdowns/personal issues, which might lead to the avoidance patterns that you described…