Why teens and young adults trade so easily?
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I enjoyed reading the above thought provoking posts. But if looking at this particular story in question, it is really about young girls sleeping with a stranger in exchange for money? Therefore isn’t the root of the problem is her greed for money and fame. It then boils down to the values that had been imparted to her… Was she brought up in the world where material wealth, beauty, branded goods or stardom are being totally over-emphasized? Or perhaps not being taught to be satisfied with what little she has or that there is really never a shortcut to success or to quick money…
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EN:
Certainly I believe in one's inner strength too. :celebrate:
I guess it all boils down to individual strength on moral values. -
westmom:
I enjoyed reading the above thought provoking posts. But if looking at this particular story in question, it is really about young girls sleeping with a stranger in exchange for money? Therefore isn't the root of the problem is her greed for money and fame. It then boils down to the values that had been imparted to her… Was she brought up in the world where material wealth, beauty, branded goods or stardom are being totally over-emphasized? Or perhaps not being taught to be satisfied with what little she has or that there is really never a shortcut to success or to quick money...
Yeah, actually sometimes parents can also make the mistake of over-emphasizing on such things. So it's not easy bringing up a child..without constant reminders to self as a parent. -
EN:
En, you mentioned that your family is not physically there for you . I'm curious to know what is the source of your individual strength to combat such temptations and influences?Share with you all about real life friends.
Don't talk about kids these days. These happen back then when I was growing up.
If you talk about lonely child growing up, I'm one of them. Father outstation, my mum stretched herself from morning till midnight from working in a factory to housework. One elder sister, different school different session. The house always empty. Yet, nothing happen. I embrace the solitude at home. It's a place I cherished most. So private, so warm, so secure.
My friend that was involved in the flesh trade grew up in a loving family. She was my neighbour. We spent time playing daily after school. Parents gave her the best upbringing. Clean home, mother working part time, spent time with us going out shopping, home cook food etc.
How did it happen? We went to different secondary school. Bad school peers, she was kicked out after she ran away from home at secondary 2. She started working when she reached 15 years old. From sales girl (with pittance pay) and with peer influence, she move on to become GRO. She was lured by branded goods from clothing, to bags, to shoes and exotic places to travel at the young age of 17.
She was still my close friend at that time. Was I influenced and lured by those \"excitement\". Even at my darkest moment, I'm rooted to my ground. I was human after all. I felt jealous back then that her life then was easy. But the thought disgust me.
The strange thing was, when I slept over at her place (she was out working) she came back at 3 am smelling of cigarettes and uhggg... don't want to mention. I was puzzled, how could the parents not scold her when she's smelling like that. How could the parents not question her on her purchasing power. Money makes the parents blind as well?
I guess it all boils down to individual strength on moral values.
Did your family play a part too? -
EN:
Your parents were only not physically with u, but u were not lonely. U knew deep inside they would be there for u if u ever needed them. Loneliness and insecurity is the key.Share with you all about real life friends.
Don't talk about kids these days. These happen back then when I was growing up.
If you talk about lonely child growing up, I'm one of them. Father outstation, my mum stretched herself from morning till midnight from working in a factory to housework. One elder sister, different school different session. The house always empty. Yet, nothing happen. I embrace the solitude at home. It's a place I cherished most. So private, so warm, so secure.
Your friend's family was always physically around for her, most likely they loved her to bits too, but FOR HER, that wasn't enough, she was still lonely and insecure.
Different children need different levels of security. Different children can tolerate different levels of loneliness before such psychological stress causes behavioural damage.
U were able to withstand the temptation of \"excitement\", simply because u were not lonely and insecure, despite your parents not being physically around, and that's not because of your superhuman willpower or value system. Willpower is important, i've never denied it. Values are important, i've never said not. But they are over-rated. If ANYONE thinks their willpower and values are supreme in dictating their behaviour, i challenge them to lock themselves up in solitary confinement for just one year, and see their world unravel.
The environment is far more important in influencing behaviour. In this particular case, values and morality really has nothing to do with it. -
3Boys:
I have never said morality and values are not important. I merely said they have nothing to do with why teens sleep around. Kindly read and think carefully before rebutting the rock wall instead of me.
Do you discipline your children? Are you telling them right from wrong? What is that if not imparting your morals and values to your children, in the hope of modifying their future behaviour? No effect? Then why bother?Will you tell your daughter not to be promiscuous? If by your theory, our children already have morals and values, and all that is needed is parental presence, then you can be completely mum on it. -
skunk:
So you mean criminals actually behave worser after they have been sent to jail to experience this solitary confinement? :?i challenge them to lock themselves up in solitary confinement for just one year, and see their world unravel.
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I have lost count of the number of child and teen actors who abuse drugs, alcohol and sleep around. Even our very own Mavis Hee, who went berserk, is testimony to the power of loneliness, coupled with extreme stress. Many of our children are also in such a situation, lonely and stressed.
The young celebrities are always surrounded by people, by the media, by fans, but they’re lonely inside. Loneliness is not merely the need for someone to be physically around them, it’s emotional isolation on a deeper level.
These people who wreck their lives with destructive behaviour, need therapy, possibly medication, and definitely need a change in lifestyle. Morality, religion and values, is for guiding the action of normal people. Sick people need to see a doctor, not a priest. -
ks2me:
Actually, YES!!! Thank u for bringing up such a good point. This has been the phenomena experienced worldwide. In fact I saw a study on it on a documentary on NatGeo channel...i think it's \"Inside\" or something...
So you mean criminals actually behave worser after they have been sent to jail to experience this solitary confinement? :?skunk:
i challenge them to lock themselves up in solitary confinement for just one year, and see their world unravel.
That's why whenever possible, probation, community service, or other ways of punishment, have always been sought to reform people, rather than putting them in jail. It was showcased on the documentary, how many criminals actually suffered psychological damage in solitary confinement. -
\"Hypersexuality, by itself, is a criterion symptom of hypomania and mania in bipolar disorder and mania in schizoaffective disorder as they are currently defined in the DSM.\"
American Psychiatric Association. (2000). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (fourth edition, text revision). Washington, DC: Author.
99% of our kids are safe despite varying degrees of emotional isolation (loneliness) in our modern day society. Very few actually get really sick because of it. That said, this entire thread's discussion really is about those few who are really sick and sleep around. I think we should worry more about mild depression, rather than hypersexuality, for the average kid
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