<![CDATA[How to turn kids be more sociable?]]>hi parents


my 2 kids seems rather shy and anti-social.

1st one is quiet and seldom talk in class, and i observe he seldoms interact in class. recently, juz heard from my teacher that the 2nd one doesnt interact much inclass, in fact, he would read lilbrary book.

whats’ wrong? i am also quiet, so did they take over my genes? daily schooling dun count, we do bring them out once a week, but perhaps more as a family, not to socialize around.

is it too late to change them now? and what solution can u advise me?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/11186/how-to-turn-kids-be-more-sociableRSS for NodeSun, 03 May 2026 11:41:01 GMTFri, 09 Apr 2010 14:56:51 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Wed, 16 Feb 2011 09:23:18 GMT]]>Every child is different, and each has their own personality.


I think while it's good to stretch our kids to be more open to new situations, we also need to allow them to be confident in their own skin.

My almost 5-yo daughter takes a longer time to warm up in any new room - even if she has been in that particular room weekly for the past 2 years. 😉 Once she's comfortable, she becomes a little more warm, but it's unlikely for her voice to be heard. With new people, she'll stare off in the middle distance and not engage, even when the new people are all gushing over her. In our home though, hers is the loudest voice, many times telling her brothers what to do etc.

She is most unlike our outgoing boys (who can be counted upon to shake hands and greet new people - even strangers on the MRT!), but we attribute it more to her personality than be concern about the manner in which she engages new people in outside environments.

We do talk to her about what is expected behaviours; that she needs to greet our friends and relations, that she needs to ask for permission for doing things in a formal environment etc, but where the behaviour stems from personality, we are fine with taking a step to allow her to be in her own comfort zone.

After all, there are many adults who are introverted or extroverted, and each personality takes their energy in the way they engage with their environment. 😄

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/360038https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/360038Wed, 16 Feb 2011 09:23:18 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Wed, 16 Feb 2011 07:37:24 GMT]]>Hi sparkie0209,


I would not be too concerned either. Everyone is different. We should not be worried if our children are not behaving what we are expecting them to be.



P.s Jedamum, your kids are so cute…my eldest son behaves rather similar too. Cannot concentrate and easily distracted.

Mamalicious Alicia

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/359958https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/359958Wed, 16 Feb 2011 07:37:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Sun, 26 Dec 2010 08:10:03 GMT]]>Thanks, jedamum for ur pointers. Will try them out.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/320007https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/320007Sun, 26 Dec 2010 08:10:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Sun, 26 Dec 2010 03:50:36 GMT]]>

sparkie0209:
Hi there, any tips to share on how to get a 2yo to look at the person whom she is speaking to? Thanks.

my ds2 is already 4yo. his eye contact is improving as he grows up.
what i am doing is that whenever he asked for something or is talking to me, i remind him to look at me in the eye. his eyes will somehow wandered away in the middle of the sentence. he is getting better now though.
eg
ds2 : mummy i want (look at ceiling) to drink milk.
me teasing: you asking the ceiling to make milk?
giggles....
me : look into my eyes and ask again.
ds2 : mummy, i want to (look at his bro beside me) drink milk.
me teasing : gege can make milk for you??
giggles...
me : look into my eyes and ask again.
ds2 : mummeeeeeeeee, i want to drink (glanced away for a sec then looks back) milkkkkkk....
me : oh, you asking me....ok. 😄

it can get tiring for the kid to work on stuff like this (the same goes with proper speech), so practice it with your kid only maybe once or twice a day and not throughout the day because the kid may get frustrated.

MHO.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319946https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319946Sun, 26 Dec 2010 03:50:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Sat, 25 Dec 2010 23:42:46 GMT]]>Hi there, any tips to share on how to get a 2yo to look at the person whom she is speaking to? Thanks.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319912https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/319912Sat, 25 Dec 2010 23:42:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Thu, 23 Dec 2010 10:59:57 GMT]]>jedamum… lol


I have one who could talk so much a stone would get up to get away from her. I have another who at 7 years old explained patiently "I didn’t say anything because everyone has said what needs to be said."

It’s personality trait… no need worry too much. Nothing wrong with kid. Just like some are left and some are right handed. Both also ok lah…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/318928https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/318928Thu, 23 Dec 2010 10:59:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Thu, 23 Dec 2010 07:32:59 GMT]]>our kids not sociable, we are concerned.

our kids too sociable, we are also concerned. my 4yo talks to anyone who shares the same lift as us; telling them that he stays at which floor or where he is going. :faint:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/318835https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/318835Thu, 23 Dec 2010 07:32:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Thu, 23 Dec 2010 04:32:10 GMT]]>DS1 is coming to 4 and has been attending preschool for 2 years (now in N1). DS1 always act so shy in front of me and my spouse when we went to pick or drop him at school. However, his teachers (more than 1) always told us that DS1 is very sociable in class, having made friends in other classes, from toddler class, to N2 and even K1 and K2. These kids knew him and always waved or greeting him whenever we went to drop or pick him up. So we are puzzled and don't know whether we should doubt the teachers' words or to trust our own observations? I guess, sometimes, kids are such shy in front of his own parents for fear of getting scolded ...

:celebrate:

Last week DS1's school had a graduation concert and he participated in two skits. We were very surprised that he was so active and was able to dance and run around to the music! And maintaining contact with the audience! And we realised that that's only when he didn't see us (we were in the audience and the lights were quite dim)

But still, like this morning, brought him to school, and he began his shy-shy pattern again. Haiz.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/318716https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/318716Thu, 23 Dec 2010 04:32:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:17:14 GMT]]>hi all


sorry for the late reply.

my kids are better after i sent them to child care centre few mths ago. they initially attended 1.5-3h lessons.

think letting them mix with diff age group helps as they see and play wif one another everyday. they used to not want to play at the public playground if there are other kids around, but now, they are fine to play at the playground wif others around.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308000https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/308000Thu, 02 Dec 2010 06:17:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Thu, 02 Dec 2010 01:38:59 GMT]]>my son is also 3 this year. and whenever a kid or someone tries to play with him, he will run to us and stay away from the kid. not sure how to get him to play with them. he is soooooooooooooo reluctant in doing so… hope he gets better when he starts his nursery…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/307736https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/307736Thu, 02 Dec 2010 01:38:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Tue, 30 Nov 2010 16:06:54 GMT]]>My DS1 used to be very introvert and shy when he is young. Refused to talk to anyone, go near anyone (even friends and families that we know very well and meet regularly). If DS1 sees his kindy classmates or teachers outside school, he will 'pretend' not knowing them and ignore them. :shock:


I remembered asking my sister (whom we sees very regularly) to pick him up from school when he was 4yo. He refused to leave the school with her, his teacher even doubted whether my sister is 'real auntie'! :stupid: My family members have even made a joke that they would strike 4D if anyone managed to get a hug or get to carry him. Initially I was quite worried and concern about him surviving in the primary school. 😢
So I made extra effort to bring him out more often with friends/families/extended families, interact more with his teachers and classmates, be very active in school events/happenings, etc

Glad to say, now DS1 is already 9 (next year P4), he has improved alot on his social skills, especially when he started primary school. He has lots of friends that he plays with and talks to, a few friends that he interact with over phone/FB. :celebrate:

I think every child has their own personalities, have to give them more exposure and encouragement to open up and they will eventually do so when they matures...

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/306881https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/306881Tue, 30 Nov 2010 16:06:54 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:49:12 GMT]]>My DS is almost 3, but I’m surprised at how friendly he is. Smiling at anyone he likes, even if he isn’t exposed to lots of kids close to his age. Although it’s normal for kids this age to be bossy, he also tends to shy out at times, but mostly he’s really outgoing…I think every kid has a different personality, she’s sure to come out of her shell as soon as she’s comfortable being with her classmates and friends. She’ll learn, it’s just a stage!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/198863https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/198863Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:49:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Fri, 28 May 2010 07:36:59 GMT]]>My nephew used to be like that too when he was about 4 and I found out that it was because he was really shy and did not like to interact with others because he was afraid of offending others. More like a fear of looking bad and you are right, lacking confidence can be a reason.


What we did was to do it one step at a time. His parents and relatives had to coax him to open himself up more and it starts at home! Just interact with him/her more, including using touch like hugging, shaking hands etc…

And kids are 3 will hardly be bossy or aloof.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/197465https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/197465Fri, 28 May 2010 07:36:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Sat, 22 May 2010 11:44:59 GMT]]>My girl just turn 3. She hardly wants to say "hi" or ‘bye’ to others likes classmates or their parents. Is that very common at this age? How to make her more inclined to associate with others? Today at her school sport day, one of her classmate wanted to shake hand with her, she just refused, and the boy so sad and cried. When I scolded her for being rude, she just not convince and liked steam puffing from an engine. Even neighbour she also behaviour the same. I can’t tell whether she is shy or bossy because she is independent, well interact and vocal in school according to her teachers. She is a chatterbox at home. Or could it be she is lack of confident to talks with others. How to encourage her?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/191804https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/191804Sat, 22 May 2010 11:44:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Sat, 10 Apr 2010 08:53:13 GMT]]>I would not equate shy and quiet with anti-social. I think as long as the child knows how to interact when he wants to, knows the basic social rules and have a few friends, that’s good enough.


As parents, of course we have to show them how to interact as well at playgrounds and other places. Do you greet other parents at these places, do you speak to other children and make small conversations with them? Do you show them some ice-breaking methods?

I also allow my son to bring friends home in order to pratice his social skills, as well as to reinforce ground rules.

If these have been done then perhaps the child just prefer more solitude and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s only a problem if the child is afraid of entering a class of strangers, or find others hard to comprehend. In such cases, I do feel that parents will need to coach the child on these situations.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/157828https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/157828Sat, 10 Apr 2010 08:53:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to turn kids be more sociable? on Sat, 10 Apr 2010 04:18:39 GMT]]>jkids :hi5:


been shy is just a temperament of the child, dont be too concern about it , are you a working mum or stay at home mum?

how old is your kids
boi or ger
what school they go to kinder, primary??

how is their behaviour at home
behviour in playground if they are still young
do they interact with other children outside shool often like cousin, neighbour- often?
what did they usually talk about when they are home about thing happening in school?

too many question hor :wrongmove: ......no lah just so other parents here know a little more and can give their experiences and comment :lol:

i have a 14 year old sec school boi ,, he is shy too .... :idea: :peekaboo: 🦆

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/157749https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/157749Sat, 10 Apr 2010 04:18:39 GMT