<![CDATA[Little Monster]]>Hihi


Any good method to handle mischievous 4 yr old boy who like to catch attention? :x Things that he would do e.g making faces at people, being rude, hot temper include violent when he don’t get what he wants, doing the opposite of what you told him to do… sound like a monster to you?

Sometime i wonder whether because he is a boy and tend to be more playful? I notice that he is obedient and behaves when he is alone without other kids but i can’t probably keep him alone all the time.

Any suggestion would be appreciated. Many thanks!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/1628/little-monsterRSS for NodeTue, 05 May 2026 20:44:54 GMTThu, 18 Dec 2008 10:21:52 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 09:24:32 GMT]]>Now that my DD is 7, she knows that when Mommy and Daddy are really angry, they may walk away and go do stuff on their own to cool down. This takes a short while usually, then they will be back happier. She also does this from time to time too so sometimes when she is really angry, we leave her alone and she may go to her room to sulk with her bear. Some minutes later, she’ll be back to normal.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15826https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15826Wed, 04 Feb 2009 09:24:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 07:55:32 GMT]]>hi thks for the sharing.

ya, sometime is hard for us to control ourself also. How to expect they know how to control their temper. But sometime keep repeating, feel very frustrate. 😢 😢 😢

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15817https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15817Wed, 04 Feb 2009 07:55:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 07:39:34 GMT]]>

csc:

er...i don't think so....nothing to do with gender....more to do with discipline and training ... in my opinion
ho ho , me don have a gal so can't really compare. will leave that one to science :idea:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15815https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15815Wed, 04 Feb 2009 07:39:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:59:06 GMT]]>actually, it can be very hard and tiring to stay calm when they throw tantrums. especially if they do it for a long time and keep on with it no matter what I try. -so I did not manage to stay calm 100% of the time either. But what I find works for me is to walk away from the situation first and let him cry. (of course that only can be done at home or where there is some one else to jagar him)


At home ,If I feel myself getting angry I will try to walk away and calm down (surf net, read magazine, drink water, shower etc ). or put him in the naughty corner first, tell him what he did wrong and how long he will be at the naughty corner (usually 5-10 mins ) Then I will go do my things or if there is no one else to keep and eye on him sit where I can keep an eye on him while ignoring him. Every interval I will check if he is ready to calm down or he stays in the naughty corner for another interval.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15813https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15813Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:59:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:59:02 GMT]]>

mincy:
[hee, lots of people says most boys are like that m I am starting to agree...

😉
er...i don't think so....nothing to do with gender....more to do with discipline and training ... in my opinion

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15812https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15812Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:59:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:20:11 GMT]]>Hi mincy


how are you going to control yourself when the kids are throwing tantrums... :?:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15799https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15799Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:20:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:04:42 GMT]]>

jedamum:

Hey, sounds like my P1 son! :roll:
hee, lots of people says most boys are like that m I am starting to agree... Currently reading the book you recommended and find some of the stuff they recommend quite useful.

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/discipline-teaching


😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15274https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15274Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:04:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 30 Jan 2009 10:14:40 GMT]]>

mincy:

My boy is the same. In school, he is very well behave according to the teachers. At home ..... - play tricks on them, wait for them to feed and clean up his mess..... there are still times when he try to \"test water\" in getting his way by throwing tantrums and/or by acting up. ..
Hey, sounds like my P1 son! :roll:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15272https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15272Fri, 30 Jan 2009 10:14:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 30 Jan 2009 10:06:37 GMT]]>I think discipline for kids is an ongoing process…have to be very consistent and firm, and yes they are very smart and knows who can be "bullied" into having their way.


My boy is the same. In school, he is very well behave according to the teachers. At home with the maid or with grand parents - play tricks on them, wait for them to feed and clean up his mess. with the maid, even kick up fuss, throw things and aggressiveness. It took like more than 10 sessions of time out, explaining before he wise up. Even then, there are still times when he try to "test water" in getting his way by throwing tantrums and/or by acting up. … just have to keep up the praising when he is good and be firm with him when he misbehave.

I personally don’t find beating and beating an effective as a form of punishment. I have tried that and it back fires.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15269https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15269Fri, 30 Jan 2009 10:06:37 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:33:56 GMT]]>not sure if this can be stated as a similarity here or be of help…


my boy is being cared for by my wife’s aunty whom he obviously has taken a liking to after almost 3 yrs…

realise whenever he is at home with us he is ok and does not kick up a fuss e.g. when we do not give him a sweet/or whatever he wants

however once in my wife’s aunty presence… he will always take advantage of her presence and kick up a big fuss (jumps n cries)

maybe is there any form of similarity of point of refernce u can pick up from?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15227https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/15227Thu, 29 Jan 2009 14:33:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Thu, 22 Jan 2009 01:15:11 GMT]]>Hi Cartoon


Finally found someone kids similar with me…

My 4 yrs old boy also do such things which is make me very headache, after read through this forum, understand that caning is not the way ( a lot of ppl advise that should use cane ) ya, but this only can control awhile, and the behaviour still there, will be come out on and off…
anyway, he is still a little boy, which we need to put in extra effort on it.

Really thks for all the sharing.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/14879https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/14879Thu, 22 Jan 2009 01:15:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 21 Jan 2009 09:14:38 GMT]]>Hi


Thanks for all the comments. I guess i will have to put in more effort and to be more patient with him. Afterall he is still a little boy. Thanks again!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/14862https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/14862Wed, 21 Jan 2009 09:14:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 26 Dec 2008 02:48:28 GMT]]>hi cartoon


Most impt you must still continue to shower your love

And continuously to teach him be it using punishment or rewards

And verx impt is to have patient and continue to have fun and enjoy the relationship


Regards

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12986https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12986Fri, 26 Dec 2008 02:48:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Wed, 24 Dec 2008 03:22:29 GMT]]>You should talk to him as quickly as you can after the act has occurred. If you take too long, he may not remember or get confused and it’s not because he’s lying. Young children are a bit like pets; you need to catch them in the act and administer "corrective action" ASAP after, preferably in private and in a clam manner, of course.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12917https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12917Wed, 24 Dec 2008 03:22:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:43:00 GMT]]>Hi Cartoon,


Glad to know that you’ve spoken to him.
Did you ask him why he wants to do that? You should try to be as specific as possible by stating only 1 action that he did, say why did he make that face to this uncle. Don’t confuse him with general statements like why do you like making faces at people? Keep probing but don’t provide answers for him to nod on (e.g. Is it bec this so and so did this and this to you?)

Cartoons might be a cause too. Children tend to show things that they have been exposed to. That’s why I expose my boys to very limited programs. Now that I’ve thrown away my television, we end up having more time for discussions and game-creating.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12884https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12884Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:43:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:31:31 GMT]]>Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


He admit that those behaviours are bad and he promise that he will not do it again if i do not punish him this round but he did it again say the next day or a few days later.

Do you think he just want to prove to the others that he is strong and mighty like those cartoon characters in the tv program?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12882https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12882Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:31:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Mon, 22 Dec 2008 09:36:23 GMT]]>Cartoon, maybe you can get someone whom your son trust and has good relation with to talk to. For example, my son seldom shares his thoughts with me coz I am stricter with him and it's similar situation for my daughter with my wife.


I think it will be very enligthening to hear his thoughts on his actions. He sounded like an intelligent boy who sometimes couldnt manage his actions and/or emotions. Dont give up nor give in to your emotions - it can become a vicious cycle as Winth said. BTW, I used to call my kids monsters too. :oops:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12840https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12840Mon, 22 Dec 2008 09:36:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Mon, 22 Dec 2008 02:43:24 GMT]]>No offence.

But the title ‘Little Monster’ already tells me what you think of your boy.

And if you think of him as a ‘Little Monster’, he will grow to be ‘The Monster’ that you want him to be. Children are actually a reflection of their parent’s impression.

My 2 cents worth.
No offence, really.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12811https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12811Mon, 22 Dec 2008 02:43:24 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Mon, 22 Dec 2008 02:17:23 GMT]]>Why don’t you ask him, when you guys are in a much calmer environment, why he wants to do things to upset people?


1. Why do you like to e.g. push people?
2. What did that e.g. boy do to you?
3. Do you know that that e.g. pushing people is not good?

Objective: ask questions so that you get an insight as to why he does things this way. That way, he knows you’re listening to him. For all you know, it might not be entirely his fault.

Children do that to get negative attention or when he feels that no matter what he does, he’s always WRONG, so he doesn’t care.

Sometimes, you might want to make him feel that you are on HIS side before you reprimand him. You need to make him know that you’re there to care and protect him. That might mean lots of pep talk with him to ‘brain wash’ him.

The huge clue to what you’ve mentioned is the key that he actually plays/behaves well when he is alone. It might be also that he does not interact well with his peers. Or there might be a certain playmate that he doesn’t like. Or maybe he makes faces because someone was rude to him, in the first place? And that’s the only way for a 4-year old to get back at that someone?

You’ve got a find a way to pull him out from this cyclical effect of bad behaviour -> punishment -> worse behaviour -> worse punishment. You can out-brutal force him now, but it will not work when he reaches schooling/juvenile age. We get older, our children get stronger. There is a reason why he’s doing all these things that he’s doing.

I remembered myself as being very quiet and unpopular in front of my relatives becos I overheard my relative’s comments about me in front of my parents and my mother did nothing to defend me. And I sulk whenever I had to meet them. This creates a cyclical effect. I can’t out-talk them and anyway, whatever I say, my parents will just agree with my relatives. So, why should I obey my parents who do not stand up for me?

Relative’s comments as this girl is not likeable (next time can’t get bf or get married as soon as my cousin) & my cousin can speak so well and so talented in art -> I Sulk -> More negative comments on me -> I Cry -> Comments that I’m weak and cry for no reason -> I don’t greet them -> I become a rude girl -> Parents force me to greet them -> Rebelliance and giving black face to my relatives, bec I don’t think it’s correct for them to pass bad comments about me in the first place etc etc

I remembered that I stared fiercely at my aunt for being extremely rude to my mum (who is the elder sister), it was my way of showing my support for my mum. But guess what, I was scolded for being rude… :x

Comments became worse when I become a teenager, but all thanks to such comments that made me strive hard to prove them all wrong and earn a status of where I am now. My cousin… still floating around…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12809https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12809Mon, 22 Dec 2008 02:17:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:46:40 GMT]]>Two years different between the sibling.


He is active and can speak well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12696https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12696Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:46:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:40:33 GMT]]>Hi Cartoon,


Is it a huge age gap between the siblings?

Does he have any communication issue or start talking later than his peers? Does he belong to the more talkative or the quieter type?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12674https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12674Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:40:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 19 Dec 2008 04:28:21 GMT]]>He has a younger sister.


Yes, punishment such as standing at naughty corner, caning. It depends on how bad his behavious e.g making faces at people, irritates others kids etc, I will give him warning first if he repeats after numerous warning, i take him away from that group if he still persists i will cane him once or make him stand at the naughty corner.

When he endanger other kids like pushing, hitting others, i will cane him straight away.

My FIL used to get really irritated by him and chased him with a cane and my son would run and happily hide himself but now my FIL would jus ignore him to stop his \"play\". My MIL would scold him and threaten him with cane whenever he misbehave and only cane him when he is really out of control and testing her patience.

Actually he really behave very well when he is alone but when he is in a group, he goes again 😞 .

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12669https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12669Fri, 19 Dec 2008 04:28:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:21:27 GMT]]>Hi Cartoon

Does your little boy pull his stunts if he gets the attention first, before he has a chance to start?
Also, how do you/others react when he misbehaves? Sometimes kids do stuff just to annoy others if they get an interesting reaction the first time they do it. If they get what they want out of these stunts, they'll try again because it works!
As for being violent when he doesn't get what he wants, little children don't always know how to handle their emotions. My normally sweet-tempered kids go ballistic sometimes when they try really hard to get something and fail. To me, its natural that kids get upset when their best attempts don't get them anywhere and they feel helpless. My job is to teach them how to manage that boiling anger so that they don't end up hurting themselves or others.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12658https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12658Fri, 19 Dec 2008 03:21:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Little Monster on Fri, 19 Dec 2008 02:57:49 GMT]]>Do you practise any punishment?


What is your normal reaction (to him) when he misbehaves himself in public?

Is he the only child in the family?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12652https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/12652Fri, 19 Dec 2008 02:57:49 GMT