<![CDATA[How to make a child more confident and outspoken]]>Dear parents,


Am having some problems with my K2 gal here. Acaedemically she is fine but

1) Very shy and quiet.

2) Refuses to greet others like say Hello or Good-bye

3) When I bring her to a party where she doesn’t know the kids, she won’t join in the games. If she does, she wants me to follow her.

4) Worse of all, she started her nonsense this year by crying when I drop her off at school. The only reason I can think of is that she hates her chinese teacher. But hey, she has to be tougher right? She doesn’t cry outright but tears when I am about to leave.

I just hate it when other parents ask whats wrong with her and I do feel kinda embarassed with her behaviour.

She is fine with outdoor activities like swimming and cycling. When we engage in those sports, she is chatty and happy.

Any suggestions on how to make her more self-confident?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/2628/how-to-make-a-child-more-confident-and-outspokenRSS for NodeWed, 06 May 2026 13:49:46 GMTWed, 08 Apr 2009 02:03:16 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Fri, 09 Sep 2011 02:03:34 GMT]]>Hi,

I am also searching but I am interested in Lamda examinations and found that these two centers.
Artistic Expressions on East Coast Road

Buds Playhouse at Turf City
hope this will help.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/580399https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/580399Fri, 09 Sep 2011 02:03:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Thu, 08 Sep 2011 22:37:23 GMT]]>hello engaged parents,


I am looking for a good speech training coach for my teenage children. Objective is to help them speak more clearly and boost their confidence. Do you have any recommendations?

Many thanks!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/580205https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/580205Thu, 08 Sep 2011 22:37:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Mon, 10 Jan 2011 04:29:09 GMT]]>The grass is always greener on the other side. I am sure you know empty vessels make the most noise, this happens when you have an outspoken child. Some speak without getting their own thoughts processed first.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/329489https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/329489Mon, 10 Jan 2011 04:29:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:47:12 GMT]]>double post…sorry

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/329084https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/329084Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:47:12 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:46:46 GMT]]>

LKVM:
autumnbronze:

[quote=\"cherrygal\"]Very beautifully written, Chenonceau! Totally agree with you. :celebrate:


:goodpost:

I second that :celebrate:[/quote]Absolutely agree that it's a wonderfully written post!
Food for thought and great learning tips for us parents to cope with children of quieter nature. :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/329081https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/329081Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:46:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:16:05 GMT]]>Indeed an excellent post Chenonceau. Thank u for sharing. Your child is v lucky to have u as his mum!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/328249https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/328249Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:16:05 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:42:34 GMT]]>Very good post!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/328225https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/328225Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:42:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Fri, 07 Jan 2011 05:55:49 GMT]]>Gee… thanks people, for the kind comments.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327731https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327731Fri, 07 Jan 2011 05:55:49 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Fri, 07 Jan 2011 02:56:22 GMT]]>

cherrygal:
Very beautifully written, Chenonceau! Totally agree with you. :celebrate:

Yes most times as parents we are so bent on getting things fixed, we forget about the strength of nature.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327529https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327529Fri, 07 Jan 2011 02:56:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Fri, 07 Jan 2011 02:45:41 GMT]]>

cherrygal:
Very beautifully written, Chenonceau! Totally agree with you. :celebrate:

:goodpost:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327508https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327508Fri, 07 Jan 2011 02:45:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Thu, 06 Jan 2011 16:17:10 GMT]]>Very beautifully written, Chenonceau! Totally agree with you. :celebrate:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327217https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/327217Thu, 06 Jan 2011 16:17:10 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Thu, 06 Jan 2011 03:49:03 GMT]]>According to documented research on the MBTI Personality Profiling Instrument, each child is born with innate personality preferences, in the same way that they are born either left or right handed. Each preference has strengths and weaknesses.


Introversion is one such innate personality preference. Introversion carries with it strengths important for success. Introverted people tend to be reflective. They listen, observe and process.

In the past, parents used to force left-handed children to write with their right hand. Left-handed children who write with the right hand tend to have bad handwriting, at the same time, they've never had the opportunity to learn how to use their left (natural) hand properly. They're neither here nor there.

As such, a school of thought advocates that parents allow young children to develop skill first with their innate preference (whether left-handedness or introversion), only introducing a non-preferred skill later in life.

Little Boy is highly introverted. I left him quite alone. Ignored the issue and respected his preference. Instead, I concentrated on bringing out the strengths of the introvert. He listens well and hears people. His teacher credits him with empathy and consideration. He observes and processes well. Without trying, he scores 90+ at Science most times. If he tries, he tops the class. This is because the Science Syllabus is heavy on observation and process skills. Another introverted girl in his class is known to write very powerfully. Somehow, the reticence to speak up encouraged her to find expression elsewhere... and her parents encouraged her in that direction.

Only in P4 did I gently nudge him towards public speaking by leveraging on his love for Science. I taught him Powerpoint so that he could document his independent science research. Then I encouraged him to present to the whole family. In this way, I moved him (without making a big issue of it since it seemed so natural) from the introverted activity he preferred (science research) to the extroverted activity he did not prefer.

His Powerpoint and presentation skills improved to the point that his friends nominated him to present their Social Studies Group Project. He did such a lovely job with the Social Studies presentation that his teacher picked him to do a Show and Tell in the foyer to 3 sessions of students (P1&2, P3&4, P4&5).

He went and did all of that and wasn't stressed at all because I didn't make a big deal out of is shyness. He never knew that I worried about his shyness.

Someone told me many years ago that a gifted sculptor discerns the shape inside the marble block before he or she begins to sculpt. It was a lesson I took to heart as a parent. When a parent knows to discern, respect and bring out the best in the shape of the child he/she is blessed with... then nurture can work with nature to create a beautiful human being.

Going against nature is painful for both parent and child. I think more painful for the child who is being bent against his/her natural shape.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/326567https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/326567Thu, 06 Jan 2011 03:49:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Wed, 05 Jan 2011 14:16:58 GMT]]>Today a parenting counselor asked all parents to manage our expectations of children.


When we ask how to make our kids self-confident, we also need to ask ourselves are we self-confident personally? When did we become self-confident - was it at age 5 or 25? Self-confidence is a long process. Many things happen along the way to build up our esteem, courage and confidence.

If we hate meeting new people or public speaking at age 35, how can we expect our kids to be self-confident and outspoken at age 5? Kids are modelling themselves after us.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/326267https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/326267Wed, 05 Jan 2011 14:16:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:58:41 GMT]]>an enrichment class teacher from a well-known school here was taught me this.


Initially, allow the child to narrate or recite to you at close range in his or her soft voice. Praise the child; claps and cheer. Do this daily.

After a few times, gradually increase the distance between you and your child, "forcing" the child to gradually increase his or her voice. Again praise and cheer.

then move on to get the child to stand on a stood and again gradually moving further away. Add some toys as audiences.

finally, gradually add the number of real "audiences".

There was this girl in her class that initially would cry and held on tight to her mom, refusing to let go. At the end of the year long course, she was proudly standing on the chair, reciting her poem to all her classmates and classmates’ parents.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325036https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325036Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:58:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:34:20 GMT]]>

tankee:
hi Carrot_55


I have merged your post into this thread. You may be able to find some tips from the earlier posts here.

😉
Thanks alot!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325028https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325028Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:34:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:24:17 GMT]]>hi Carrot_55


I have merged your post into this thread. You may be able to find some tips from the earlier posts here.

😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325024https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325024Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:24:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:18:40 GMT]]>Hello,


I think my girl got some self confidence issues.

Her teachers told me she can read aloud very well in class when they are reading as a group. But when it comes to one-to-one reading, she will totally become another person who cannot read at all even it is the same book as they read in the group.

Also, during their K1 year end assessment, each child in the class have to arrange picture cards of a chinese story that was taught. My girl was "kpo" enough to "teach" her classmates when they arranged in the wrong order so teacher thought she’s good. But when her turn comes, she cant get it right even after 3 attempts!!

Both her chinese & english teachers realise the same problem with my girl. Any advice how can i help her?

thanks!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325018https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/325018Tue, 04 Jan 2011 04:18:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:03:21 GMT]]>@jedamum, about not labelling the child ‘shy’, we would just say that DD1 will respond when she is ready to. But can’t prevent others from dangling the label ‘shy’ on her.


@Funz, yes I had read about selective mutism before. The school counsellor (and the Child Guidance counsellor DD1 saw in K2) were quite certain that DD1 doesn’t have that… yet. The school counsellor is still concerned and hope that DD1 doesn’t regress into SM.
We did set expectations that DD1 should respond (either verbally or non-verbally) when spoken to, and she has been involved in a CCA of her choice in P1 and P2. Maybe we should ease up a little on that after reading this article…

@Trina, DD1 didn’t have show & tell sessions in lower P. DD2, however, has done one show & tell this year in P1 and even has marks to show for that. I had broached the idea of Speech & Drama holiday program to DD1 but she didn’t like it even in childcare (K2) when she had her close friends with her.

Maybe I should go reread some of the books on raising confident kids and see if i’ve missed anything…

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138355https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138355Mon, 08 Mar 2010 08:03:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:59:59 GMT]]>I had the same problem with my only child when she was younger. In N1, she cried everyday when I dropped her off at school. It only stoppped when I went back to work and got my mum to send her to school. At N2, she was fine for 1st term and then started crying again when I dropped her off school. We tried all ways and means to get her to settle down including bringing her favourite teddy (it was featured in her N1 class photo and K1 activity photos!!). Thankfully she finally settled down in mid K1 although all her teachers gave the same comment - a very shy and quiet girl…


Naturally I was anxious when she entered P1 but I was surprised to know from teachers that she was participating well in class. DD told me that she was comfortable with her classmates and teachers. I guess she just eventually grow out of her shyness although she is still relatively quiet in class.

DD is in P2 this year and school changed the examination system. Instead of written paper, she now has to make presentations for Eng and Chinese Show and Tell. From what I understand from friends, most schools are adopting similar approach. So you may want to start preparing your children for this. I think DD benefited from the holiday workshops at Act 3 International and Lorna Whiston Speech & Drama programme. At Act3, they get to read a story and play a part. This helps the kids in building confidence on stage. You may want to consider putting your kids for similar programmes.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138308https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138308Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:59:59 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:49:41 GMT]]>

thrice:
My DD1 is a (painfully) shy girl in school. When she was in P1, on the first day of school when every girl was asked to stand up and give a short introduction, she froze and cried. That year, her form teacher was concerned that DD1 was not speaking up in class, and the school counsellor was involved too. DD1 did manage to pass her oral tests but I was told that her voice was very soft and she had tears in her eyes when answering questions and was forcing the words out of her mouth.


Nothing much has changed, unfortunately, 2 years down the road. DD1 is now in P3. Her form teacher had asked each girl to stand up and tell her whether taking HCL or CL. She cried. :stupid: In class, when DD1 is called to answer questions, DD1's classmates would protest to the teachers that DD1 cannot stand up and answer questions. I don't think that this is healthy for DD1.

We (teachers and parents) have been giving her encouragement and time to grow out of this. But it seems like we are running out of time. DD1 has to start speaking up else it'll be even more difficult when it comes to project work and team discussions later...

What else could I do to help her? :?:
http://www.imh.com.sg/Quietroom/articles.asp?id=19

Check out the above link

It is about selective mutism. Hope it helps.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138303https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138303Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:49:41 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:54:21 GMT]]>see my comments here. 🙂

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2628&start=0

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138269https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138269Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:54:21 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:34:44 GMT]]>My DD1 is a (painfully) shy girl in school. When she was in P1, on the first day of school when every girl was asked to stand up and give a short introduction, she froze and cried. That year, her form teacher was concerned that DD1 was not speaking up in class, and the school counsellor was involved too. DD1 did manage to pass her oral tests but I was told that her voice was very soft and she had tears in her eyes when answering questions and was forcing the words out of her mouth.


Nothing much has changed, unfortunately, 2 years down the road. DD1 is now in P3. Her form teacher had asked each girl to stand up and tell her whether taking HCL or CL. She cried. :stupid: In class, when DD1 is called to answer questions, DD1's classmates would protest to the teachers that DD1 cannot stand up and answer questions. I don't think that this is healthy for DD1.

We (teachers and parents) have been giving her encouragement and time to grow out of this. But it seems like we are running out of time. DD1 has to start speaking up else it'll be even more difficult when it comes to project work and team discussions later...

What else could I do to help her? :?:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138252https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/138252Mon, 08 Mar 2010 05:34:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:26:50 GMT]]>

vv_lim:
and for say hello part, also need mummy encouragement...ahha even i flash cards to her for music composer or great people of the world, will ask her say halo to xxx...when see uncle, untie inside the same lift, will push her to say hello, even i see a crab outside the frying rice shop, will ask her to say hello to crab! see a cat, she will says: hello meow! ahha i mean since she so young i just encourage her in this way.
We do the same for our 2.5 yo. He says hello and goodbye to inorganic stuff, he say them to to his fav hair in the park and his toys too.
But my issue is that when he is friendly in public he gets stares and most times ignored when he greet pple in the lift and such. Recently he stops saying hi to pple in the lift, cos he get ignored too often, sometimes he says hes sad when pple ignore him, that makes me mad :x

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/23324https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/23324Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:26:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to make a child more confident and outspoken on Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:14:25 GMT]]>

vv_lim:
hi,


\"I believe in man's strong voice\"

ahha ok tomorrow is holiday...

If i bring my girl to school every morning she will cry like 10 mins, her sharp voice will be heard even i stand across the road opposite the school.

Then i decided not to company her but just let papa bring her to school only.
cos mummy bring, she miss mummy, crying for mummy mummy is expected.
so, every morning, papa will encourage her, saying cannot cry, show happy face...after few days she no more crying.

When go to Julia Gabriel class, i dun sit down passively, will push her to go in front every time if appropriate!
i sing loudly and tell her to sing together as loud as me.
When in Shichida, if teacher ask question, without giving her answer, i just say near her ear: \"kw, say loudly!\"

Conclusion for my case is need mummy's push/encouragement and the papa intervention. papa will make a laughing session with them ahhahaha if job that day not too stress ! papa will also everyday ask her different kind of questions, why, what, how, where, who, whose...
The papa's voice sound strong and it helps 🙂

and for say hello part, also need mummy encouragement...ahha even i flash cards to her for music composer or great people of the world, will ask her say halo to xxx...when see uncle, untie inside the same lift, will push her to say hello, even i see a crab outside the frying rice shop, will ask her to say hello to crab! see a cat, she will says: hello meow! ahha i mean since she so young i just encourage her in this way.

ps:
Currently, i am shopping for childcare/kindergarden that have good show and tell time to practise public speaking
or at least let a child stand in front of the class and sing a song weekly.
Anyone heard any in Bukit Batok area?
Hi VVlim,

But your child is how old? My gal is already in K2. Difficult to compare that way right?

I guess I should have started emphasising this earlier. But I think your way of encouraging your child to say hello is really cute la!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/23322https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/23322Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:14:25 GMT