lonely at heart

Reply to lonely at heart on Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:20:10 GMT

cherrygal — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:20:10 GMT

Agree communication is most important. I also think romantic love (physical) is not the be all and end all. Mutual admiration (intelligence, talents, values etc) can be just as fulfilling.

Not every one has a high need for passion / touch (read "Five Love Languages") so we can’t judge a relationship by how physical a couple is. Not holding hands etc doesn’t mean the couple is not in love. I have a friend who was super manja with her hubby and now, after having a young son, they are divorced.

Reply to lonely at heart on Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:19:19 GMT

Blessed Homemaker — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:19:19 GMT

We dated for 7 years and I was feeling bored to go out with my bf (hubby). We decided to get married and things took a turn, with some "spices" added into our life. 2 years passed and life seem monotonous again, then we decided to have a kid. With children, our lives are never the same again.

To me, communication is very important. If I feel empty, I’ll talk to my husband and work out what can be done. It is not easy to sustain the passion in a relationship but we are still adjusting and trying to improve our quality in marriage.

Reply to lonely at heart on Thu, 29 Dec 2011 07:59:50 GMT

bobonana — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 07:59:50 GMT

IMO passion only gets you that far, not easy to stay passionate forever.

Thats why most of the people who have been dating for many years dont end up gettin married as eventually the passion dies out. Personally i think the next level up is familyties and kinship. Just my 2cts worth.

Reply to lonely at heart on Wed, 21 Dec 2011 07:01:33 GMT

kiddykiddy — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 07:01:33 GMT

i agree with laughing cat. being together, in any form of relationship at all, is like working. after you pass the "interview" and get the job (getting married) is not all. you have to work constantly to keep the flame bright and warm. Even then, there will be constant appraisals and that’s what being together is about. working for and caring for the other. ((:

Reply to lonely at heart on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:45:05 GMT

laughingcat — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:45:05 GMT

Talk to your spouse lah on how you feel. Start being cheeky. Noticing some couples after becoming parents, they become so serious.

Rekindle those courtship days lah. Don’t let youself wallow in self pity. You are never alone, if you are feeling this way…i am sure your spouse also feel this way. Remember don’t let this "lonely feeling" drag for too long otherwise it will become a norm and by then it will be too late.

Reply to lonely at heart on Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:49:27 GMT

3Boys — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 10:49:27 GMT

Its sad when 2 people who were passionately in love, enough to commit to share a life, go cold and fall out of it.

Everyone’s got different circumstances I suppose, but I believe that the best thing in a family is always for the spouses to place each other first, ahead of parents, ahead of kids, ahead of work. When there is a strong relationship between husband and wife, everything else falls into place. Needs work, but is well worth it.

Reply to lonely at heart on Fri, 02 Dec 2011 08:34:11 GMT

cherrygal — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 08:34:11 GMT

No lah, don’t think she is seeing anyone. She just wanna be left alone. Is she one that hates kids last time (before settling down)? Maybe she feels tired and bogged down with kids, work, housework etc coz this is not the life she wants or had yearned for.

And sleeping together doesn’t mean they are faithful (so many unfaithful people sneak back into bed with their spouses to avoid suspicion). Not sleeping together also doesn’t mean the couple is not close. Look at Sumiko Tan. She and her husband don’t sleep together because of their differences - one can’t take aircon, the other must have aircon.

Don’t suspect your spouse’s fidelity just because they want to be a hermit at times.

Reply to lonely at heart on Sun, 20 Nov 2011 05:56:56 GMT

kelpw — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 05:56:56 GMT

Hmmm,

Hearing your story that make me wondering that perhap your wife is seeing someone , i know i should not say that but the description of her make me think that

Seriously you may want to talk to her and understand what happen.

Wish you all the best as i amy be wrong

Take care , be strong always

Reply to lonely at heart on Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:36:52 GMT

Pa_Pa — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 07:36:52 GMT

Haha me too. Just try to get along with my wife but after 7 yrs of marry our relation cool down. Ask her go out with children she lazy to walk around even to new park at punggol. Most of the times I taking the children for outing without her. She just like shopping buying dress, comestic, eating. Other than that no much outing for her. Just like to chat & chat with phone or using PC. Worse still she no even sleep with me now after my mum pass away. She occupy the room.

Mostly working night sleep I will sleep alone in master room alone. If morning shift my child will sleep with me. Ready feel lonely but don’t konw what to do.