<![CDATA[Does my kid need professional help?]]>Hi all,

I am seeking your opinions on my daughter’s behaviour/character. I am getting more and more worried about her.

My daughter is a year end child and will be in P1 next year. Since she was little, on and off I always wondered if she needed some form of professional help. I remember my brother did asked me the same question; but I brush it off thinking that it may be just a passing phrase.

My gal is very timid/fearful even when she was just a couple of months old (scared of sad/angry pictures; scared of different types of rugs). Initially we thought, maybe she’s still young and she will outgrow it.

It didnt and as she grows older and learn more things, her fear seems to keep increasing.

For eg :
When she learns of dinosaur and how meteorite might have killed them, she is afraid that meteorite will hit Singapore.
Or when she hear of Noah’s Ark and how it rained, she is worried that Singapore will flood.
Or during the time she learn about the 3Rs, she told me she is worried that the garbage area will be overfilled with garbage from the world and there is no more place to throw the garbage.
Or that there is no more trees and we don’t have enough oxygen.
Now she is learning about the human body/brain, and she is afraid that something will happen to her brain. Or if she gets gallstones.

Most of the time when she tells me that, her eyes will be filled with tears. And asking me the hows? What ifs? I will re-assurance her but yet, sometimes after a few days or weeks… she will tell me the same thing.

Starting end of last year, she wants me to sleep and hug her throughout the night. She will wake up crying/whining in the middle of the nite if she stirred and realized I am not hugging her. (We never had the habit of hugging her to zzz when she was younger; and she slept on her own bed previously).

She is even afraid of the tiniest ant that is crawling on the floor. She will be screaming and running away, like she has seen something very frightening. You know those kinda scream that makes your heart jump? Needless to say, any types of bigger insects will set her off crying/screaming hysterically.

At one time, I thought she have outgrown this phrase, when she started wanting to go up stage for any performance/answer questions (previously she was afraid as well). But then suddenly it become worse (the wanting me to hug her throughout the night & worrying about everything)

Not sure if this is linked but she also seems to be hypochondriac (loosely used), everyday I will hear of a complain of pain. Different pain, different areas. I brought her to doctors who dismiss some of the pain. She loves plasters (any dot on her body and she will insist on having a plaster over it).

In your opinion, is this normal? Have any of you come across this before? Do I need to seek professional help?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/33125/does-my-kid-need-professional-helpRSS for NodeSun, 03 May 2026 06:19:13 GMTTue, 13 Mar 2012 03:58:59 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Sat, 17 Mar 2012 00:36:51 GMT]]>Hi CayennePepper,


Thanks so much for your reply and advice. Would you please pm me the details of the help that you have sought. Thanks very much!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/730234https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/730234Sat, 17 Mar 2012 00:36:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Thu, 15 Mar 2012 02:42:22 GMT]]>Hi CayennePepper


I appreciate if you can pm me the details of your therapist too?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/729474https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/729474Thu, 15 Mar 2012 02:42:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:30:33 GMT]]>Anyway, Singapore NEVER has any natural disasters (no volcano anywhere, not near any border, Indonesia shields us from tsunamis, typhoons and hurricanes, what’s there to be afraid of?) besides VERY MILD floods. Moreover, we live in HDB flats and the floodwaters can NEVER destroy our homes.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/729370https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/729370Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:30:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:28:06 GMT]]>Don't worry.


I'm 13 yrs old this yr and I sometimes get scared of something's and do certain actions to prevent it.

Last year, there was this one time a HUGE female hornet flew into my room and made a nest at the window sill, I SCREAMED THE SHIT OUT OF MYSELF and my mom broke open the nest which was made of mud and soil.

INSIDE THE BROKEN NEST WERE SEVERAL FAT, JUICY, WHITE DISGUSTING, ALIVE AND WRIGGLING HORNET LARVAE. MY MOM USED A PAIR OF DISPOSABLE CHOPSTICKS AND PICKED OUT THE WORMS ONE BY ONE.

Then, I sighted the female hornet buzzing outside my room, wanting to get in, I quickly shut the window and prevented it from coming in. I shut my Sister's window beside my room and the windows at the living room.

And yes, I hate hornets 😞 I have a phobia of those disgusting worms. Ew. Those worms gave me a cold shiver up to today.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/729368https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/729368Wed, 14 Mar 2012 15:28:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Wed, 14 Mar 2012 01:10:00 GMT]]>Wow, reading there are many similar cases kinda assures me, that I am not alone. None of my friends have such experience before and they all think that my gal is just an attention seeker; but I know that’s not true. So thank you all for sharing about your kids.


We have been ‘shielding’ my daughter from a lot of news (flooding, tsunami, earthquake, sinking etc) for fear that she will over-react to it. In fact we try to make a conscious attempt to not discuss about such thing when she is around.

That is why I am starting to get very worried… for how long can we shield her from such news?! As she grow older the more stuff she will learn and she can’t possibly be afraid of everything that she will learn.

But when she is not in her ‘emo’ mode, she is happy and cheerful.

Funz,
Yes! It’s exactly like that. Almost breaking point, then she seems ok again. Then we just let it go. And then the cycle start again. And yes, we are the one that is drain.

Jedamum,
Aedes mosquito was one of my gal’s issue as well! She used to attend this art class which she enjoy tremendously. Even when she is not feeling well, she will want to attend the class. Until one day last year near the class, a big banner about how many aedes cases near surrounding area was put up. She asked about it, I just casually explain. The next few days she got a little afraid of going outside the house (fear that the mosquito follow us all the way home); and keep reminding me to use repellent on everyone. And then the following week onwards she flatly refused to go for the class. A class that she used to love and enjoy very much. So I worry how her fear will affect her from enjoying life.

CayennePepper,
You put it so well - the anxiety grew right along with age and knowledge! And yes, every day I say a silent pray that she will not complain of a pain somewhere. And when she does, it really makes me feel so helpless and worried. Can you pm me more info on the therapist your son is seeing?

PS : I am also a worry-warrior; so perhaps my gal got this gene of mine. I know when I was expecting her (wasn’t plan); I had 1001 worries - so maybe it kinda "leaked" to her?!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728987https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728987Wed, 14 Mar 2012 01:10:00 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:19:02 GMT]]>Hi CayennePepper,


Can you pm me the details of the therapist you engaged to help with your child's anxiety issues? Thank you! 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728976https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728976Wed, 14 Mar 2012 00:19:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:35:27 GMT]]>

SandS:
Hi all,

I am seeking your opinions on my daughter's behaviour/character. I am getting more and more worried about her.
I can understand what you're feeling. My 9yo ds is like your dd in some aspects. He used to be a little afraid of creepy-crawlies as a preschooler and I had always thought he'd outgrow this fear. Unfortunately it grew right along with age and knowledge. There are others. Some fears go away, only to be replaced by new anxieties. The one about insects overwhelmed him so much, he was worried about life cycle topics in science class this year (i gather cockroaches are involved-why on earth??!).
Oh, i just remembered about the pains, large and little, here and there. My heart always sinks when he says, \"I don't feel well\" because it seems so often! Later, i learnt that all these anxieties can literally manifest in physical illness, and not just the butterflies-in-stomach variety. These are real symptoms, just that the causes are not physical in nature. We deal with the anxiety issues, and we help alleviate the physical health issues. Hopefully!

I think there's no harm in talking with a professional, who can assess if your dd needs help in dealing with her anxieties. With the right help, it can ease her mind. And yours.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728947https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728947Tue, 13 Mar 2012 18:35:27 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 17:44:48 GMT]]>Hi alng

I think it may be difficult for your dd to try to overcome/resolve these feelings of worry and anxiety by herself, even with your support and encouragement.

My worrywart son tried to deal with his anxiety issues for ages, and he was fairly successful for periods of time. He's a very rational kid and kept reasoning with himself that his fears are not logical. But because his typical response to certain situations has been a specific way for soooo long, he can't talk himself out of it, much as he tried to.
I sought help when I realised how troubled and overwhelmed he was. I have to say I'm happy I did, because (1) someone is showing him how to deal with the anxiety, and (2) he felt very much relieved that he doesn't have to deal with it all on his own.

Oh, you may want to take a look at this book:
\"What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming Anxiety\"
It's available from NLB.
It may be a little young for a 12yo, but some parts of it were useful for us, though I would NOT recommend trying some of the suggestions. They are better left to the professionals, esp behaviour modification approaches.

Meanwhile, please assure your dd that many kids have anxiety issues too, and they can be worked out. She will be just fine 🙂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728944https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728944Tue, 13 Mar 2012 17:44:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:14:57 GMT]]>Hi All,


My dd, who is 12 years old, has been like this. For some of her past fears, she has overcome. But as she grows up, she has other fears. Like when she takes the air plane, she worries that the plane will crash. When she forgets to do something for the teacher, she worries that her teacher will not trust her anymore. She is so strict with herself and she does not allow herself to make mistakes. She has been a model student for the past five years and she obtains very very good results.

My dd chanced upon this thread just now and showed the thread to me. We took a look at the worrywisekids website and concluded that she has the following symptons:

•Easily distressed, or agitated when in a stressful situation
•Repetitive reassurance questions, "what if" concerns, inconsolable, won’t respond to logical arguments
•Headaches, stomachaches, regularly too sick to go to school
•Anticipatory anxiety, worrying hours, days, weeks ahead
•Disruptions of sleep with difficulty falling asleep, frequent nightmares, difficulty sleeping alone
•Perfectionism, self-critical, very high standards that make nothing good enough
•Overly-responsible, people pleasing, excessive concern that others are upset with him or her, unnecessary apologizing

Things are not to good lately. It could be due to PSLE stress that she is very absented minded lately. She keep forgetting things and misplacing things. She feels very guilty and has been very apologetic to me. I keep telling her that it is ok.

The fortunate part is my dd is aware of her problem. As a mom, what should I do? To seek professional help or to be patient with her and to render her support to overcome her problems and fears?

Thanks in advance!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728938https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728938Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:14:57 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 11:41:32 GMT]]>Oh gosh. What is happening to our kids?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728844https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728844Tue, 13 Mar 2012 11:41:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 11:18:08 GMT]]>my P4 boy also timid since young.

he now sleeps with his windows closed after reading about Aedes mosquitoes feeding habits. and he screams(!! ok, he toned it down already, but can still see his anxious look) at the sight of flying or crawling insects. and squirm at the sight/thought of blood/pic of internal organs. never watched/read ghost/horror stories cos i know he cannot handle.
and he is a boy! :slapshead:
some time ago, he read about mas selamat's escape and was concerned about home security at that time. but i was always there to address his concern and misconception at times, so not so bad.
nowdays 'training' him to kill ants (sorry ants) on the dining table...at least he is willing to do it (encouragement from his little brother!)...he prefers to drown them because no need to touch them. :roll:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728831https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728831Tue, 13 Mar 2012 11:18:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 09:46:01 GMT]]>

agent66:
Lilac66, I must go training to be a spy first.


Can join you in training also :boogie: . Need lobang for part-time job. 😂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728799https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728799Tue, 13 Mar 2012 09:46:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 09:06:22 GMT]]>My girl was like that too.


Watch Tom & Jerry and in 1 episode, Tom supposedly died, she cried and could not sleep and banned everyone from watching T&J. Read her stories of Little Match Girl and she could not sleep too. Loud noises upset her as well. That was when she was 2 plus.

She screamed and cried hysterically over any flying insects, moth, flying ants, butterflies. That lasted until she was about 5yrs old. Today she is still jittery about some insects but no more hysterics.

A fire occured in a unit in the condo across from our place, she had nightmares for a few days. She kept worrying about our house burning down. She read about the earthquakes and tsunami in other countries, she worry about earthquakes in Singapore and our building will crumble down on us. She worried about going on holidays and will ask about which country has volcanoes, in the quake zone, tornado/hurricane and will request not to go to those countries. She is still like that today but more manageable and able to accept reasoning. She is 9yrs old this year.

Last year for weeks she was losing sleep about 2012 being end of the world according to the Mayan calendar. Had to assure her again and again.

Till today, if she reads or watches anything too exciting before she sleeps, she will come to our room and climb onto our bed in the middle of the night.

However, aside from all these, she still goes about her daily routine fairly normally. She is still chirpy and full of energy. We are the ones who are drained. :razz:

Honestly I did think of consulting a child psychologist. But each time when we think DD or rather we are at breaking point she will suddenly be ok again. :roll:

But symptoms aside, I guess the most important thing is are these symptoms affecting your child's ability to continue with her daily routine or preventing her from enjoying stuff that she normally does. With DD, she was still able to function as per normal most of the time. So we handled it from there.

If you feel there is a need to consult a professional, go ahead, there is no harm in it. But whatever the diagnosis, whether therapy needed or not, your DD's behaviour will take time to change or for her to really manage her emotions. So yes, patience, lots and lots of it. And faith that your DD will be fine.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728748https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728748Tue, 13 Mar 2012 09:06:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 08:14:58 GMT]]>

agent66:

My friend sent me the following link and I was surprised my gal has all the symptoms posted.
http://www.worrywisekids.org/
Hi,
Thank you very much for sharing about your girl. At least I know I am not alone. This link is good. My girl has many of the GAD symptoms described. Can you pm me the details of the pte psychiatrist and the cost involved?

I did :scratchhead: when i saw the replies from 2 66s 😂

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728712https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728712Tue, 13 Mar 2012 08:14:58 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 07:48:06 GMT]]>Lilac66, I must go training to be a spy first.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728692https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728692Tue, 13 Mar 2012 07:48:06 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 06:43:42 GMT]]>Agree that patience is very much needed in dealing with children like that.


Btw, I hope agent66 is not sent to spy on lilac66. 🆒

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728636https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728636Tue, 13 Mar 2012 06:43:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 05:30:32 GMT]]>My gal is in P2 this year and she is by nature, timid, since young. Always scared too but lesser, compared to your gal.


However, last week, one incident triggered her fear to full blown scale. She will cry every nite and can't sleep well. I brought her to Polyclinic to get referral but the appointment date is in April.

Judging the condition seemed worse daily, I brought her to a pte psychiatric at Adam Road Hospital. It was confirmed she is suffering from anxiety separation disorder. Advice given was she needs time to warm up and needs to go counselling. Separate counselling session at Care Corner was also arranged, which is due this Friday.

My friend sent me the following link and I was surprised my gal has all the symptoms posted.
http://www.worrywisekids.org/

I guess we just need to be very patient with our child and hope the counselling will help. For my case, I sort of know where her fear stem from. You may have to find out more from your daughter.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728599https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728599Tue, 13 Mar 2012 05:30:32 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Does my kid need professional help? on Tue, 13 Mar 2012 04:52:45 GMT]]>In my opinion, you should seek professional help.


When my DS was younger, he had these fears but it was a passing phase. Your DD’s case seems to get worse as she grows older. I believe if you do seek some help now, it’s still not too late.

Do not worry too much about it, it should improve over time with intervention. Take care!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728584https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/728584Tue, 13 Mar 2012 04:52:45 GMT