<![CDATA[How to work with children with no interest in studying]]>Original Title: Pls help..... Kid shows no interest in studying


Hi Parents,

I juz wondering if any parent has any experience. :? I've a nephew who totally shows no interest in studying. He is in P3 this year same as my son. My sister is really worried. When doing Maths problem sums, he doesn't bother to read and understand the question. When comes to English & Chinese comprehsion, he is always too lazy to read the passage. Even for multiple choice straight forward comprehension, he can get all wrong. My sister is at a lost. 😢 I really feel pity of her as she is trying all her best to help her son but the son just can't be bother. Everday only think of playing computer game. Sometimes, my sister really pissed off with him because before she start teaching him, he asks when can the lesson ends. GOSH!!! :x . Her mother-in-law commented that need to wait for the child to mature then he will understand why he needs to study and by then, he will really sit down and study. But nobody can tell when will the day comes. My sister even quoted a example when she goes supermarket with my nephew, when he saw a young boy cashier, he told my nephew, if you don't work hard, you will be like the cashier earning just $800. When my nephew heard that, he replied my sister-in-law, $800 is alot of money. My sister was so speechless :stupid:

Any parents have experience with this kind of kid. Kind to share your stories. Thanks so much.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/5162/how-to-work-with-children-with-no-interest-in-studyingRSS for NodeThu, 04 Jun 2026 12:38:34 GMTMon, 24 Aug 2009 09:38:52 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:58:20 GMT]]>

jedamum:
think we are slowly digressing into

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3058&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15

heehee........
Yes jademum ... we are ... hahaha
Anyway, whatever things we are doing, moderate is the best. Never overdo or don't do ... Games also the same. The problem is kids do not know how to control, no self discipline. Here, parents have to step in, to guide them, when to stop and what is enough.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/67062https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/67062Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:58:20 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:21:56 GMT]]>think we are slowly digressing into

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3058&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15

heehee........

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66913https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66913Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:21:56 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:19:04 GMT]]>OK... I have a different viewpoint here.


I think it is fine to let your child play games...

Wait... the thing is: YOU PLAY WITH YOUR KIDS


My boy plays computer games, even during exams period!

I feel that the key is not to remove games from the children as it will cause them to be a little rebellious. You see, playing games is NOT WRONG but playing games without control is wrong.

Children have to learn this: There is a time to play, there is a time to study.

Bring in the point that a person can only play when he/she finishes the work.

I play games in front of my kids and I'll always say, \"Daddy has finished work, so I can play\".

I'll not allow my boy to play unless they finish their homework, and their homework must be done properly.

When my boy finishes his homework, I allow him to play. And I set a rule that he can only play for 10-20 minutes.

I will also do likewise, I play only 15 minutes and I will force myself to stop playing. I'll inform my boy that I finished playing because it's over 15 minutes.


In this way, my boy learn this: \"There is a time to play, there is a time to study. Even at play, I mus learn to stop\".

It works well for me. Everytime my boy wants to play games, he'll show me his homework. Then, I gave him permission to play games. He'll automatically tell me how long he'll play the games.

In some days, he'll end up playing games without doing homework. My punishment to him is that I'll remove the games for the next 2 days. This will be much more effective because my boy knows that he did the wrong thing.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66911https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66911Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:19:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:13:13 GMT]]>

daisyt:
Things like, cannot sit down properly to finish a meal, keep barking for PS3. Talk to the child, he is give you the blur face and eyes glued to the game. .

and the preschool teachers let him get away with it? if truly the gaming affects his behaviour, the school should probably be raising alarm by now.

mine already got feedback and discussion <4mths into preschool.... :oops:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66909https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66909Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:13:13 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:45:22 GMT]]>

Funz:
I just told DH not to introduce anymore computer games to DD and gadgets to DD. DH is a gadget man. So to date, DD has a gameboy, DS Lite and Wii. And recently DH just introduced DD to some kids' games website. And practically everyday she will want to go onto the website to play. Granted the games are educational but I still think she should spend more time reading and doing non-computer or gadget related activities. Too much computer aided learning will shorten the child's attention span as well. That is my opinion.

sashimi is a gadget person too but we do limit DD's usage of TV and PC. Since next week is exam week, she hasn't touched the PC except to send me messages via MSN today using sashimi's account. Then, she was shooed off to do a revision paper. 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66894https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66894Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:45:22 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:42:14 GMT]]>I just told DH not to introduce anymore computer games to DD and gadgets to DD. DH is a gadget man. So to date, DD has a gameboy, DS Lite and Wii. And recently DH just introduced DD to some kids’ games website. And practically everyday she will want to go onto the website to play. Granted the games are educational but I still think she should spend more time reading and doing non-computer or gadget related activities. Too much computer aided learning will shorten the child’s attention span as well. That is my opinion.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66893https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66893Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:42:14 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:42:04 GMT]]>

smurf:
erm, what I think is that the parents might want to have some time of peace or just want to keep them quiet? games can do that.

smurf, as parents, I'm sure some of us are guilty of using games and TV and PC as babysitters (me included) but I think this set of parents is a bit too much already. They even boast/brag(?) about their child's successes in games.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66892https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66892Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:42:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:38:51 GMT]]>

daisyt:
I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too \"outdated\" in thinking. :?

erm, what I think is that the parents might want to have some time of peace or just want to keep them quiet? games can do that.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66888https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66888Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:38:51 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:23:38 GMT]]>

daisyt:
schellen:

Or maybe his parents haven't had the consequences (bad grades, bad eyesight, short attention span, bad social skills, obesity, etc) smack them in their faces yet.


Actually, I can see some consequences already. Things like, cannot sit down properly to finish a meal, keep barking for PS3. Talk to the child, he is give you the blur face and eyes glued to the game. Must use games to \"convince\" him to eat or do something. As for results, because has not entered pri yet, so maybe still can't tell lor.

Ah...notice I said \"smack them in their faces\"? They may need a very loud and rude awakening lor if they are that oblivious or in denial. And like you said, he hasn't started formal schooling yet.....

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66876https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66876Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:23:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:19:55 GMT]]>

schellen:
Or maybe his parents haven't had the consequences (bad grades, bad eyesight, short attention span, bad social skills, obesity, etc) smack them in their faces yet.

Actually, I can see some consequences already. Things like, cannot sit down properly to finish a meal, keep barking for PS3. Talk to the child, he is give you the blur face and eyes glued to the game. Must use games to \"convince\" him to eat or do something. As for results, because has not entered pri yet, so maybe still can't tell lor.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66870https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66870Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:19:55 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:58:39 GMT]]>

daisyt:
I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too \"outdated\" in thinking. :?

No, you are not outdated. Maybe they think that he will become rich in the future just by playing games. (Yes, it is a possibility but the chances of it happening? :rotflmao:) Or maybe his parents haven't had the consequences (bad grades, bad eyesight, short attention span, bad social skills, obesity, etc) smack them in their faces yet. If those around them have already tried their best to get them to be concerned and failed, then, when the consequences kick in....., er, depends on you. (For me, if I have tried my best and got shooed away every time, I will then have the last laugh. But that is me.)

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66786https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66786Thu, 22 Oct 2009 05:58:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:32:16 GMT]]>I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too \"outdated\" in thinking. :?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66704https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66704Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:32:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:51:16 GMT]]>

tamarind:
[quote]
Parents have to do what is necessary for the child, even though it may be drastic. Remove all access from computers and ban all forms of electronic games. P3 is not still not too late. By the time the boy is over 18 years old, it will be hopeless.
[/quote]I agreed with Tamarind! My son almost became addicted to computer gaming from P4 to P6. I put my foot down and cut off access with password. It takes time to change their addiction. Be patient. I introduce more healthy activities as a family such as board games, outdoor sports incl in-line skating & cycling. I also bring my children to library and bookshops every other weekend. They picked up 2 music instruments each and now have no time for computer gaming. But I allow them to join Facebook and occassionally have fun with them on some Facebook game which is non-addictive. I perserve and succeed.

I have gone to a few Cyberwellness workshop where the speaker advised to delay exposing our children to internet gaming as late as possible. If you know how serious is addiction to computer gaming and the drastic consequences, you will never let your children touch computer. Unfortunately, this is impossible at this age of technology. Just steer them away from this evil habit as much as possible (if they need to use the computer for project, make sure you sit next to them and guide). Participate more in other activities and they will slowly lose interest. Inform the school and and get the teachers and counsellors' support as peer influence is often culprit of computer gaming addiction.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66617https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66617Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:51:16 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Wed, 21 Oct 2009 09:47:01 GMT]]>[quote]
Everday only think of playing computer game.[/quote]This is the root of the problem. The parents have to fix it.

I know many students who are above 18 years old. They are actually very smart. But because of their addiction to computer games, they barely pass, some even failed many modules. It is a great pity, because these boys are very intelligent and it is a great waste of talent.

Parents have to do what is necessary for the child, even though it may be drastic. Remove all access from computers and ban all forms of electronic games. P3 is not still not too late. By the time the boy is over 18 years old, it will be hopeless.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66571https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66571Wed, 21 Oct 2009 09:47:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:59:46 GMT]]>Ljas 1370,


Your nephew sounds exactly like my P1 son. I am also at my wits end with him. I used to enroll him in I CAN READ and MPM but stopped because he refused to go to the class. I used both soft and hard techniques but to no avail. Each lesson is like going to a war with him. So I finally gave up. Thought if he doesn’t want to get out of the house, I will engage home tutors to come to our house.

Just today, he moved our chairs to the door to block his tuition teacher to come into the house. After 10mins of tug-of-war with him, the teacher managed to get into the house but he then went to hide himself inside his waredrobe.

Like your nephew, he has no interests in studying and just want to play all day. I really tried all possible means e.g. counseling, punishment, rewards etc.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66560https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/66560Wed, 21 Oct 2009 08:59:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Tue, 25 Aug 2009 03:27:42 GMT]]>

BlueBells:
If I were in your sister' situation, I would immediately strip him of all his gaming privileges. I would then sit him down and negotiate a term where he would be able to \"earn\" his rights to play again, for example, 3 scores of 80 / 90 or above for spelling, tingxie, will earn him 1 play right. No pain no gain.


Your sis should also speak with teachers in school to find out more about his attitude in class, etc., and get the school to help arrange for school counselling if need be.
My sister did try the star rewards method. It doesn't work. P1 his marks was OK 75 for maths, English 80 and Chinese 89. P2 english 79, maths 74, chinese 62 (a drastic drop). P3 was the worse english 49 maths 50 science 56 and chinese 62. Maybe becos as it goes higher, is more difficult.

My sister did sent him for tutition, teacher said he cannot focus easily distracted. My sister even send him to S'pore Brain Devleopment Centre for training to improve his cognitive skill, but is already a few months still no improvement.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53483https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53483Tue, 25 Aug 2009 03:27:42 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Tue, 25 Aug 2009 03:17:25 GMT]]>

jedamum:

it is not surprising that kids thought that $800 as salary is a lot if the kid did not know the concept of money well. my P1 thinks that his dad earns a few hundred a month and feels that that is a lot. 😉
Well, jedamum, in comparison to his pocket money, a few hundred a month IS a lot :lol: :lol:

Ljas1370, sounds like an addiction to gaming. Taking away that priviledge works wonders for some. May be worth a try. However, needs to be done with lots of explaining and understanding on both parts - parents and your nephew. And that is assuming that they are on talking terms.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53475https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53475Tue, 25 Aug 2009 03:17:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:24:19 GMT]]>hi,

how long has this persist?
is it a sudden change in attitude or all along since P1 he has a sign of laziness? if not, it may be the difficulty in syllabus that is causing him to lose interest in studying.

you may want to read http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1321&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0 and http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2352 too.

it is not surprising that kids thought that $800 as salary is a lot if the kid did not know the concept of money well. my P1 thinks that his dad earns a few hundred a month and feels that that is a lot. 😉

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53458https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53458Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:24:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to How to work with children with no interest in studying on Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:08:45 GMT]]>If I were in your sister’ situation, I would immediately strip him of all his gaming privileges. I would then sit him down and negotiate a term where he would be able to "earn" his rights to play again, for example, 3 scores of 80 / 90 or above for spelling, tingxie, will earn him 1 play right. No pain no gain.


Your sis should also speak with teachers in school to find out more about his attitude in class, etc., and get the school to help arrange for school counselling if need be.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53453https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/53453Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:08:45 GMT