<![CDATA[Young people and stress]]>I saw the news headline today and it so happened that I was having an earlier conversation about a 11 yr old having a nervous breakdown. I would like to share some brief thoughts with other parents here.


NUS first yr student hung himself on campus.

http://sg.news.yahoo.com/nus-scholar-found-dead-in-utown-campus-185329134.html

Of course we cannot know for sure what the trigger point was for each individual. It could be stress from school, stress from relationship, stress from personal expectations etc. Bottomline is, it is important to be able to take failure in stride, and see the bigger picture. Often, it is the bright quiet ones who cannot cope well with accumulating stress (source could be of any kind). Sometimes as expectations build up based on their past successes, they become nervous about having to keep it up.

For children who get everything and succeed in everything, the fall from grace,or the fear of falling from grace, can be especially heartbreaking. Rejection too can be painful. But no one can be on top all the time. No one can be the best all the time. The occasional fall is inevitable. Is your child prepared?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/54874/young-people-and-stressRSS for NodeSat, 02 May 2026 04:06:23 GMTWed, 24 Apr 2013 02:47:49 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Thu, 10 Dec 2020 09:03:46 GMT]]>If an adolescent suddenly drops the ball on homework, forgets obligations or starts procrastinating more than usual, stress might be a factor. It’s a good thing to check with them regularly

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2007503https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2007503Thu, 10 Dec 2020 09:03:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Fri, 13 Nov 2020 11:02:53 GMT]]>Interesting article on Childhood Stress:

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/stress.html

Perhaps we should put ourselves in the shoes of our kids and really understand their sources of stress. Don't overemphasise on school work and results all the time!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2002527https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2002527Fri, 13 Nov 2020 11:02:53 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Thu, 12 Nov 2020 05:35:29 GMT]]>Yong people can be easily eaten by stress, look after another

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2002399https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2002399Thu, 12 Nov 2020 05:35:29 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:16:04 GMT]]>

LucyL\" post_id=\"1946159\" time=\"1573628538\" user_id=\"165798:

Sometimes I am asking myself if am I raising my child the right way? Am I sugarcoating the realities of life and pressuring her to do the best she can to always be on the top? As a parent, I want all the best in things in life for her so that she would not experience the rejections I have been through. I admit that sometimes I am scolding her if she prefers to play rather than read books or practice playing her musical instruments. I am feeling guilty now.
I think its about balance, all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, as the saying goes. Can allocate a time frame for playing so thay the kid wont feel so suffocated

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1951486https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1951486Wed, 04 Dec 2019 12:16:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Wed, 11 Sep 2019 13:45:11 GMT]]>

JassyT\" post_id=\"1911396\" time=\"1558491551\" user_id=\"165768:

leon T\" post_id=\"1911357\" time=\"1558454744\" user_id=\"131730:[quote=\"leon T\" post_id=1911357 time=1558454744 user_id=131730]to be fair, these \"strawberry generation\" faces much more stress in school than our generation, school life was much simpler back then ..
I agree! During our time, pressure is not that strong.. Instead of teaching kids the right way, they're now pressured to learn. :slapshead:[/quote]
I agree. Because nowadays parents are educated, so sent the kids to a lot of enrichment, peer pressure etc. So a lot of teaching has to start from home. Like making them do housework, take up their own responsibility. When they receive setback or upset from outside, have to find out why instead of straight away agree with them. A lot of things needed to be done.

Last time my company used to hire interns, their self-entitlement is so strong. And after their work, they went out to play, but the parents called us up and asked why are they working so late. One is even worse, MIA from work, we failed him, the lecturer says cannot fail him. *faint*

So .. speechless.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1934900https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1934900Wed, 11 Sep 2019 13:45:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Wed, 29 May 2019 02:50:31 GMT]]>I check my kids behavior every now and then and make sure we have an open communication. Being there for them can mean a lot.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1912520https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1912520Wed, 29 May 2019 02:50:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Wed, 22 May 2019 02:19:11 GMT]]>

leon T\" post_id=\"1911357\" time=\"1558454744\" user_id=\"131730:[quote=\"leon T\" post_id=1911357 time=1558454744 user_id=131730]
to be fair, these \"strawberry generation\" faces much more stress in school than our generation, school life was much simpler back then ..[/quote]
I agree! During our time, pressure is not that strong.. Instead of teaching kids the right way, they're now pressured to learn. :slapshead:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1911396https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1911396Wed, 22 May 2019 02:19:11 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Tue, 21 May 2019 16:05:44 GMT]]>to be fair, these "strawberry generation" faces much more stress in school than our generation, school life was much simpler back then …

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1911357https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1911357Tue, 21 May 2019 16:05:44 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Wed, 08 May 2019 14:34:28 GMT]]>Because parents are too protective that’s why they can’t handle things on their own

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1909372https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1909372Wed, 08 May 2019 14:34:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Fri, 19 Apr 2019 05:34:02 GMT]]>strawberry generation expects everything served on a silver platter. Sadly, this is the trend and there’s no sign of reversal

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1907024https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1907024Fri, 19 Apr 2019 05:34:02 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Thu, 18 Apr 2019 06:30:08 GMT]]>Entitlement and instant gratification have become an obsession with this generation. People need to realize that actual growth is a slow process. Nothing comes easily. Hurdles and failures are part of that process, we need to mind this point.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906942https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906942Thu, 18 Apr 2019 06:30:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Thu, 18 Apr 2019 05:36:39 GMT]]>Younger children need to feel supported and safe. Teenagers need to know that support is there when they need it, but they also need to feel that they have the freedom to push boundaries and to make their own mistakes.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906928https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906928Thu, 18 Apr 2019 05:36:39 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Thu, 11 Apr 2019 07:11:40 GMT]]>If these kids ever fully recovered from their conditions, they are likely to vow \"he will never do the same thing to his kid.\"


https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/education/more-teens-in-singapore-seeking-help-for-school-stress-at-imh

What the doctors should tell them? To blame themselves for

don't know how to speak up to their parents ?
don't know how to lower own expectations?
don't know how to accept not being the best?

Some kids manage to make their ways to seek help with obvious symptoms while some kids can boil inside longer (bite tongue and go unnoticed) till their young adulthood and one day may suddenly realise the 'missing link' (about their lives 'not worth living' if don't change path. It's an 'accumulated grief' over a period of time for this group of people.).

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906009https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1906009Thu, 11 Apr 2019 07:11:40 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Wed, 10 Apr 2019 11:28:50 GMT]]>

pirate\" post_id=\"1905883\" time=\"1554887545\" user_id=\"66252:

Chay! Say so earlier when changing topic lah.
The topic has always been the same.

Some emotional young persons choose to shoulder all the blame, wish they were never born, felt terrible and unfilial for doing bad in exams after parents paid so much for their tuition, holidays and rewards, felt sorry they let their parents down, believe they are just stupid, not parents' fault, not the education system's fault. This is the other extreme I was thinking of in my first post.

I had 2 friends (one SAP, one GEP) who tried to take their lives at 18-19 yrs old because they thought they'd contributed to their parents' stress/endless quarrels/divorce, blamed themselves for not doing as well for A levels, for embarrassing their parents...It became THEIR fault.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905905https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905905Wed, 10 Apr 2019 11:28:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Wed, 10 Apr 2019 09:12:25 GMT]]>

.zeit\" post_id=\"1905747\" time=\"1554802486\" user_id=\"171271:

Not referring to normal people, but HSPs (ask your psychologist friends).

Have you counselled anyone with suicidal tendencies before?

https://growinghumankindness.com/forgiving/

Not talking abt shirking responsibility or accountability. Agree we should all take stock of what could've been done better, but that works if that person is a normal person.

HSPs must learn to forgive themselves, have self-compassion. Some HSPs take everything upon themselves, including hitting their heads repeatedly or slapping themselves silly when things go wrong. It's very sad. They need be guided by a shrink.
Chay! Say so earlier when changing topic lah.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905883https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905883Wed, 10 Apr 2019 09:12:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Tue, 09 Apr 2019 09:34:46 GMT]]>

pirate\" post_id=\"1905738\" time=\"1554799525\" user_id=\"66252:

.zeit\" post_id=\"1905680\" time=\"1554785208\" user_id=\"171271:

Actually I don't advocate 'self-blame'. Better blame the govt, the system, your MP, your whatever, but once you start to shoulder all the blame, you sink into depression, you start to feel a deep sense of worthlessness and if you don't receive proper counselling, you may even turn suicidal, cos everything that don't go well is your fault.

Shouldn't blame anyone at all. Blame ownself, sink into depression. Blame everybody else, become a sociopath. Blaming is negative, and not constructive. It is about accepting responsibility for one's own choices, and learning how to make better choices.

Easier said than done...
:siam:

Not referring to normal people, but HSPs (ask your psychologist friends).

Have you counselled anyone with suicidal tendencies before?

https://growinghumankindness.com/forgiving/

Not talking abt shirking responsibility or accountability. Agree we should all take stock of what could've been done better, but that works if that person is a normal person.

HSPs must learn to forgive themselves, have self-compassion. Some HSPs take everything upon themselves, including hitting their heads repeatedly or slapping themselves silly when things go wrong. It's very sad. They need be guided by a shrink.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905747https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905747Tue, 09 Apr 2019 09:34:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Tue, 09 Apr 2019 08:45:25 GMT]]>

.zeit\" post_id=\"1905680\" time=\"1554785208\" user_id=\"171271:

Actually I don't advocate 'self-blame'. Better blame the govt, the system, your MP, your whatever, but once you start to shoulder all the blame, you sink into depression, you start to feel a deep sense of worthlessness and if you don't receive proper counselling, you may even turn suicidal, cos everything that don't go well is your fault.
Shouldn't blame anyone at all. Blame ownself, sink into depression. Blame everybody else, become a sociopath. Blaming is negative, and not constructive. It is about accepting responsibility for one's own choices, and learning how to make better choices.

Easier said than done...
:siam:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905738https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905738Tue, 09 Apr 2019 08:45:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Tue, 09 Apr 2019 04:46:48 GMT]]>Actually I don’t advocate ‘self-blame’. Better blame the govt, the system, your MP, your whatever, but once you start to shoulder all the blame, you sink into depression, you start to feel a deep sense of worthlessness and if you don’t receive proper counselling, you may even turn suicidal, cos everything that don’t go well is your fault.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905680https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905680Tue, 09 Apr 2019 04:46:48 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Tue, 09 Apr 2019 04:44:01 GMT]]>

MMM\" post_id=\"1905137\" time=\"1554435190\" user_id=\"1366:

Been awhile since I last contributed in KSP.

I guess I am fortunate that in my course of work to get to work with the young people (top fresh graduates/ generally 30 & below). There are 2 distinct cases that made me reflect on stress on our children and life being a journey and not a sprint.

One of them was brought up in an excel environment since young. Did grade 8 piano, was gifted and went to all the top pri, sec, JC and uni. Great guy with great attitude and he is my \"favorite\" as he is a full package with EQ and IQ. He no longer works for me however, after 4 years of working life, he seems jaded... his preference is to take life easier and not chase corp ladder. He stopped playing piano, his memory of childhood was work and more work. He shared that he will never do the same thing to his kid.

Another case was also a top performer academically since young. Recent setback due to negative feedback by business partners. She shared with me that since young, she cannot take disappointments. Hence she was emotional when things don't go well at work for her. I had to counsel her and in the process also reflected that the important life lessons our kids should have is resilience. To be able to learn to fail and re-bounce from the failure. I shared with her instead of focusing on the negative feedback, it's how we can turn the table around to regain trust. Also, life is a journey and it's not like exams where you studied hard, you expected your score to be good. In life journey, we cannot control how people think or behave. Importantly, life is indeed a journey and not a sprint.
For such highly driven and intelligent pp, you need to assign more challenging and varied tasks to them. Excel pp learn things very fast and will get bored after doing the same mundane tasks within the same industry year after year. Your HR should have rotated his duties, given him a regional role or more exotic business trips.

Anyway, he's quit and gone to look for self-actualisation elsewhere. He can afford to take a gap year to travel the world. Or reskill to join another industry for more stimulation.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905679https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905679Tue, 09 Apr 2019 04:44:01 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Mon, 08 Apr 2019 01:55:38 GMT]]>

floppy\" post_id=\"1905216\" time=\"1554476937\" user_id=\"97579:

But https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annabel_Chong was formerly GEP, RGS, HCJC and scholar.
Just saying.
her case is rather tragic. she was gang raped in UK and life kinda spiralled downwards.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905426https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905426Mon, 08 Apr 2019 01:55:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Sun, 07 Apr 2019 21:29:46 GMT]]>

ngl2010\" post_id=\"1905408\" time=\"1554648391\" user_id=\"40978:

This reminded me of 2 of my friends. One blamed her parents for not letting her marry her then boyfriend and another blamed her parents for letting her marry her boyfriend. 🤷
poor parents for the 2nd case :faint:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905414https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905414Sun, 07 Apr 2019 21:29:46 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Sun, 07 Apr 2019 14:46:31 GMT]]>This reminded me of 2 of my friends. One blamed her parents for not letting her marry her then boyfriend and another blamed her parents for letting her marry her boyfriend. 🤷

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905408https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905408Sun, 07 Apr 2019 14:46:31 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Sun, 07 Apr 2019 13:25:23 GMT]]>Blame your father, blame your mother, blame your sisters, blame your brothers, blame the school, blame the teachers - but never blame yourself.

It’s never your fault.
But it’s always your fault, because if one wanted to change, then you’re the one who has got to change.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905406https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905406Sun, 07 Apr 2019 13:25:23 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Young people and stress on Sun, 07 Apr 2019 12:44:19 GMT]]>Blame parents for making them work too hard. Not successful, blame parents for not making them work hard. Blame parents for being too strict. Get thrown in jail, blame parents for not

being strict enough in teaching them right and wrong...

Are we talking about teenagers here? :faint:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905400https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1905400Sun, 07 Apr 2019 12:44:19 GMT