<![CDATA[Club Only Child Club]]>Original Title: Mummies/Daddies of one child only.


Dear Mummies and Daddies,

I rarely start a new post but have been wanting to post this for a long time. Only managed to find time today. I know most parents here have 2 or more children. But life doesn't go the way we want all the time and as it stands now, its looks like we will only end up having one. Dd is turning 6 this year and any hope of having number 2 is getting thinner and thinner due to our age. I am 36 this year and dh is 38. This subject has been at the back of me and dh's minds but we don't want to place all our focus on it and get all depressed. Instead, we would like to be thankful for whatever we have and focus on solutions instead.

Would like to know what are the problems that parents in the same boat face and how do you go about solving it? The problems that me and dh face are

1) Pressure from relatives especially at festive seasons. Queries come in on how come we only have one kid.
2) Feelings of inferiority on why we couldn't 'complete' the family and have no 2?
3) Child constantly asking for sibling.
4) Child very clingey because there is no one else to entertain her.
5) Child less socially apt as she has no one else to interact with.
6) Child rather selfish as she has no one else to share with.

This seems to affect dd as well as she gets upset whenever she hears of her friends who have new siblings in the family.

Ironically, me and dh started off not wanting to have any kids at all. How perspective changes.

Any inputs are appreciated. Apologies if this sounds like a silly thread.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/topic/5529/club-only-child-clubRSS for NodeMon, 04 May 2026 21:16:40 GMTTue, 15 Sep 2009 09:35:35 GMT60<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Thu, 23 Nov 2023 10:40:26 GMT]]>

elymil\" post_id=\"2123260\" time=\"1700726436\" user_id=\"202883:

Thanks, ChiefKiasu! Still a baby! 8mos šŸ„°šŸ„°
8 months! That's when they start walking, right? Or stumbling. And mostly running... :frustrated: We get so excited when they start walking. But we get scared when they start running... :skeptical:

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123286https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123286Thu, 23 Nov 2023 10:40:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:10:26 GMT]]>

erencie\" post_id=\"1930266\" time=\"1566280567\" user_id=\"173505:

Ironically, many of my friends who made the decision to have 2 children are only child themselves.

While me and a few others who have siblings want to stop at one.

Is it just the other side of the grass is always greener? I envy the only child peers who get all their attention from parents. They envy me for having siblings to talk about childhood stories? People always want to have something they never have in their life.

There is also another reason probably. All my only child friends are so close to their parents that when they have children, their parents don't mind taking care for the grandchildren for free, which saves them a lot of financial and emotional troubles. I have a single child friend marrying with a single child husband. Their parents stay in their home to take care of 2 grandchildren 24 hours 7 days without maid and without infant care; the young couple can just go for clubbing after work literally. Whenever parents get tired, parents in law immediately take over all the work; two groups of old folks take turn. Their parents never asked for allowance, instead gave them all the money to help them settle downpayment of their home purchase. I don't see any problems if my friend decides to go for a third kid in this situation.

In my case I'm taking care of child myself and work full-time. Stopped using a single cent of parents money since 15. As my work scope ramps up and career goes back on track, It is increasingly hard for me to juggle so that I recently decided to go for a domestic helper. A lot of $$$ and time/energy needed. In the meanwhile, I'm also financially supporting my brother a bit as you know, I am earning the most among all my siblings and so I am expected to help my brothers. From my Dad's point of view, he is satisfied with this as his children are \"helping\" each other. From my point of view, I don't enjoy it as I am the one who contribute to my siblings.

I think my friends who are only child might have a different life story to tell, though...They might say they are lonely when they are a child. But honestly I can't understand their loneliness fully and don't appreciate their yearning for a sibling. I remember my childhood being always chaotic and noisy and I try to lock myself in a bedroom just to keep quiet when my youngest brother was crying outside.

Everyone is encouraging me to go for baby number 2. My friends. My doctor (who says I am very healthy and fit to give birth to lots of children). My relatives.

But If I go for number 2, will this baby be a good companion for my daughter or will this baby becomes her burden and dilutes my attention to her? It's all unknown. It may turn out good but it may turn out to be like my current life. While the benefits are unknown, the cons are known--increased financial physical emotional cost. That is why I am very hesitant and always keep asking \"should I have second one?\" Without real actions.

Btw, Singapore's one child family number is on the rise, while 2 child remains the most popular family structure. If this is the case, I don't think being one child is that bad in a society like this. If you and your peers are all only child, it is much easier that you can become super close friends. If in the whole neighborhood everyone has brothers and sisters, then the only child will definitely feel lonely and risks being bullied as well.
Hii! I would say that usually having more than one child is better. \"Only-childs\" tend to be more spoilt as they usually get what they want and don't have to be concerned about how their actions will potentially affect others (since they don't have any siblings they need to think about). Of course, if it's too much work, having one child is fine too!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123266https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123266Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:10:26 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:06:34 GMT]]>

mindmatchers\" post_id=\"2118978\" time=\"1694570128\" user_id=\"202839:

Hello all! I'm new to KSP, not a parent and an only child myself. Currently in NUS studying Medicine, happy to share my perspectives as a grown-up only child šŸ™‚
So cool, NUS medicine is my dream uni! Could you share a bit more on what you did during your secondary / jc year in terms of academic / non-academic that could have made where you are today possible? (a little of your life story lol)
Also appreciate any tips or life lessons that you think could help!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123262https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123262Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:06:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:00:36 GMT]]>

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2123171\" time=\"1700663224\" user_id=\"3:

Welcome! How old is your child?
Thanks, ChiefKiasu! Still a baby! 8mos šŸ„°šŸ„°

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123260https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123260Thu, 23 Nov 2023 08:00:36 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Wed, 22 Nov 2023 14:27:04 GMT]]>

elymil\" post_id=\"2123162\" time=\"1700660025\" user_id=\"202883:

Hello! KiasuNewbie here. Looking forward to knowing more as a parent of only 1child ā¤ļø
Welcome! How old is your child?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123171https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123171Wed, 22 Nov 2023 14:27:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Wed, 22 Nov 2023 13:33:45 GMT]]>Hello! KiasuNewbie here. Looking forward to knowing more as a parent of only 1child ā¤ļø

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123162https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2123162Wed, 22 Nov 2023 13:33:45 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 03 Oct 2023 13:06:25 GMT]]>

minanana8\" post_id=\"2118784\" time=\"1694265513\" user_id=\"202803:

Maybe can help them get closer????
Any suggestions about that?

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2119971https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2119971Tue, 03 Oct 2023 13:06:25 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Wed, 13 Sep 2023 01:55:28 GMT]]>Hello all! I'm new to KSP, not a parent and an only child myself. Currently in NUS studying Medicine, happy to share my perspectives as a grown-up only child šŸ™‚

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2118978https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2118978Wed, 13 Sep 2023 01:55:28 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Sat, 09 Sep 2023 13:18:33 GMT]]>

gsgs1300\" post_id=\"2094996\" time=\"1673584595\" user_id=\"199422:

:roll:
But sometimes the siblings may not play together because of their age gap
Maybe can help them get closer????

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2118784https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2118784Sat, 09 Sep 2023 13:18:33 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Fri, 13 Jan 2023 04:36:35 GMT]]>

ChiefKiasu\" post_id=\"2094902\" time=\"1673505077\" user_id=\"3:

I think the best outcome is to have a boy and a girl. That way they will have some company, and not too much to have sibling rivalry. Maybe a 3 kid family is ideal to have some backup šŸ˜‚
:roll:
But sometimes the siblings may not play together because of their age gap

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2094996https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2094996Fri, 13 Jan 2023 04:36:35 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Thu, 12 Jan 2023 06:31:17 GMT]]>

gsgs1300\" post_id=\"2094879\" time=\"1673498779\" user_id=\"199422:

Hello, all, new here, now I am happy with only child, but sometimes I am still worried about that my girl would feel lonely as she needs to play and study alone, any advices for this? thanks in advance.
I think the best outcome is to have a boy and a girl. That way they will have some company, and not too much to have sibling rivalry. Maybe a 3 kid family is ideal to have some backup šŸ˜‚

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2094902https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2094902Thu, 12 Jan 2023 06:31:17 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Thu, 12 Jan 2023 04:46:19 GMT]]>Hello, all, new here, now I am happy with only child, but sometimes I am still worried about that my girl would feel lonely as she needs to play and study alone, any advices for this? thanks in advance.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2094879https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2094879Thu, 12 Jan 2023 04:46:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Fri, 08 Apr 2022 09:06:09 GMT]]>Hello all. New here. Hope to get information here for my child.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2063915https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/2063915Fri, 08 Apr 2022 09:06:09 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 20 Aug 2019 07:54:04 GMT]]>am the only child and I have 3 children.


While I didnā€™t start with the mindset of having a "big" family, I am glad I did that.
Being the only child can be daunting. Growing up, I donā€™t think I ever missed the feeling of not having siblings to play with. It never bothered me. Itā€™s also hard for me to "understand" about siblings rivalry, interaction, etcā€¦ since I never did experience. But as dh has 4 other siblings, it gave me a flavor of what it felt like to have siblings (in a positive manner).

The cons :
* When my dad was sick - I had to make the tough calls on medical treatment, I had no sibling to discuss with but I am glad I have a dh to discuss with, I had to ensure that I try to visit dad everyday otherwise he would be lonely. Fortunately he had many siblings so my cousins & relatives do visit him from time to time during his months in hospital.

Recently, my fil with dementia was sick and had to be hospitalized. My dh and his 4 siblings took turn to take care of him 24/7ā€¦Being the only son, he took the overnight shift while his sisters took turns to take leave to do the day shift. I am thankful that they are such a united family. Imagine this would be tough for a only child.
* My parents come from a generation where they might not be self-sufficient in retirement years so I need to provide for them. I count my blessings that I am able to do this. While we are all trying to be self sufficient these days and we are working towards not having to rely on our offspring when we are old, but we never knowā€¦ some could argue that you could have 10 kids but none are filialā€¦ so itā€™s better to have 1.

The pros :
Itā€™s interesting that being the only child, you know you are accountable so you will take responsibility. There is no pushing. Similarly my parents are able to do their finance plans with me and in faith. Eg. we bought properties together. There is no concern on legal/ inheritance issues with other siblingsā€¦

Given that Iā€™ve my career, own family and kids to manage, I sometimes feel bad about not being able to spend enough time with my parents. I do hope that my kids will think that way when we are old too.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930293https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930293Tue, 20 Aug 2019 07:54:04 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 20 Aug 2019 07:48:50 GMT]]>Famous singletons (only child):


http://mentalfloss.com/article/25585/quick-10-10-famous-only-children

And of course, in Singapore context, Joseph Schooling.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930292https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930292Tue, 20 Aug 2019 07:48:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 20 Aug 2019 06:14:52 GMT]]>Only child is usually very very close with his/her parents. This I agree is true from my sample of 6 families that I personally know (age range of the only child being from toddlers to 41 years old).


The other characteristic of only child that Iā€™ve observed, is that they learn how to interact with all ages since young. Eg can chitchat with their parentsā€™ friends even.

And they really do receive the best attention and resources that their parents can give. Personally I am usually the only parent hanging around during my sonā€™s sporting training and other events, to video down and capture the priceless moments, to celebrate the victories and losses personally with my child. Our bond is very very close, even the teachers notice this when they read the Motherā€™s Day cards that my son writes in school. My fellow mums with 2 or more kids, usually have to be with the other child(ren) and have to rely on me to take and send them photos of their kids for them.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930273https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930273Tue, 20 Aug 2019 06:14:52 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 20 Aug 2019 05:56:07 GMT]]>Ironically, many of my friends who made the decision to have 2 children are only child themselves.


While me and a few others who have siblings want to stop at one.

Is it just the other side of the grass is always greener? I envy the only child peers who get all their attention from parents. They envy me for having siblings to talk about childhood stories? People always want to have something they never have in their life.

There is also another reason probably. All my only child friends are so close to their parents that when they have children, their parents donā€™t mind taking care for the grandchildren for free, which saves them a lot of financial and emotional troubles. I have a single child friend marrying with a single child husband. Their parents stay in their home to take care of 2 grandchildren 24 hours 7 days without maid and without infant care; the young couple can just go for clubbing after work literally. Whenever parents get tired, parents in law immediately take over all the work; two groups of old folks take turn. Their parents never asked for allowance, instead gave them all the money to help them settle downpayment of their home purchase. I donā€™t see any problems if my friend decides to go for a third kid in this situation.

In my case Iā€™m taking care of child myself and work full-time. Stopped using a single cent of parents money since 15. As my work scope ramps up and career goes back on track, It is increasingly hard for me to juggle so that I recently decided to go for a domestic helper. A lot of $$$ and time/energy needed. In the meanwhile, Iā€™m also financially supporting my brother a bit as you know, I am earning the most among all my siblings and so I am expected to help my brothers. From my Dadā€™s point of view, he is satisfied with this as his children are "helping" each other. From my point of view, I donā€™t enjoy it as I am the one who contribute to my siblings.

I think my friends who are only child might have a different life story to tell, thoughā€¦They might say they are lonely when they are a child. But honestly I canā€™t understand their loneliness fully and donā€™t appreciate their yearning for a sibling. I remember my childhood being always chaotic and noisy and I try to lock myself in a bedroom just to keep quiet when my youngest brother was crying outside.

Everyone is encouraging me to go for baby number 2. My friends. My doctor (who says I am very healthy and fit to give birth to lots of children). My relatives.

But If I go for number 2, will this baby be a good companion for my daughter or will this baby becomes her burden and dilutes my attention to her? Itā€™s all unknown. It may turn out good but it may turn out to be like my current life. While the benefits are unknown, the cons are knownā€“increased financial physical emotional cost. That is why I am very hesitant and always keep asking "should I have second one?" Without real actions.

Btw, Singaporeā€™s one child family number is on the rise, while 2 child remains the most popular family structure. If this is the case, I donā€™t think being one child is that bad in a society like this. If you and your peers are all only child, it is much easier that you can become super close friends. If in the whole neighborhood everyone has brothers and sisters, then the only child will definitely feel lonely and risks being bullied as well.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930266https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930266Tue, 20 Aug 2019 05:56:07 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 20 Aug 2019 03:15:19 GMT]]>Whether one child, no child, many children.. This decision / choice can only be made between husband and wife. This is your family. No outsiders can tell u what is best for your family. What works best for one family might not for another.

As long as everyone in the family is happy & sane is what that really matters šŸ™‚
Enjoy parenting your only beloved child!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930215https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930215Tue, 20 Aug 2019 03:15:19 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 20 Aug 2019 03:00:34 GMT]]>Certainly this is an open forum, but please can our ā€œclub only child clubā€ be for us to share our joys & challenges of having an only child?


We face enough pressure from family members to breed more already.

Yes I have adult friends who are the only child. They are fine. Their elderly parents are extremely independent and have long made plans for their old age, knowing that they donā€™t want to burden the child with supporting them financially etc.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930200https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930200Tue, 20 Aug 2019 03:00:34 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Tue, 20 Aug 2019 02:29:50 GMT]]>

erencie\" post_id=\"1930085\" time=\"1566203696\" user_id=\"173505:

Hendon\" post_id=\"1929917\" time=\"1566173184\" user_id=\"142376:

[quote=erencie post_id=1929894 time=1566142371 user_id=173505]So glad to find this club.
I was reading a book named One And Only that recognized many advantages of having only one.

I'm 32 years old with a 2 year old cute girl. Both my hb's and my careers are accelerating and we enjoy our current life. I'm really hesitant to have a second at this moment.

For every book written there is a book with a counter point of view. I guess u are unsure hence this post. Yes when I had only one kid, life was simple but I knew in the long term, the sibling for my child was always that, another companion for life but one with blood ties. Careers end one day, it can never make up for time or opportunity for a bigger family.


That's true. I am indeed hesitant, but leaning much much much more on the \"stop at one\" stance. Otherwise I won't purchase the book that advocates on only child family.

It is not just career ambition, but also the free time and adult-inclined enjoyment. I took care of my daughter on my own while maintaining a full-time job hence I know all the tiresome moments of childcaring in early years, and feeling reluctant to start it all over again. I keep hoping my daughter to grow faster so that there is less burden on me. Maybe I am just not that kind of people who have a natural affection towards little children. I find babies cute but really get scared of the idea that I need to take care of one 24 hours 7 days a week which was what I did for my DD when she's young.

My friend suggest me to hire a maid so that I can give all these babysitting \"chores\" to a maid; but I am thinking \"whats the point of having a child if I already decide to give him/her to maid as I don't enjoy babysitting taskā€.

I come from a big family with two brothers. While I do have some bond with the older brother, I often envy my peers who are only child and have strong bonds with their parents. I am all on my own without a single cent of parental support since Age 15 (even financially as I'm on a very generous scholarship), as my father is busy handing things for my two brothers. I am the oldest in my family and also am the best, academically and career-wise, so my father worry me least and put almost all resources [attention, visit, money, etc.] on my two brothers. Hence, I am quite doubtful of the benefit of siblings to the oldest kid. At least for my case, I can't help but always thinking, what if I am my father's only child, all his resources would be mine then. But I never voice it out as people will criticize me for having that selfish thought as an older sister is supposed to think for her younger brother. Here it is Internet so I don't mind speaking out my negative experience as the oldest kid in a big family with 3 kids.

I apply my life experience to my daughter and think that if we die, we can just give all our money to her. She does not need to share this inheritance with her siblings. As long as she finds a good husband and have kid (I will try my best to convince her to get married), she will not be alone after we leave the world. I could even help her take care of her kid (my grand child, haha) so that she can have children without sacrificing her career. If I have 2 children, who grow up and have their own children, I don't have the energy to take care of so many grandchildren leh.

I think the only one reason that makes me ponder on having a second child is that my friends are all having a second child. That makes me wonder if it is really better to have 2 children at home. A friend told me that \"children are the best life insurance and investment\" when we get old. I'm still evaluating whether what she said is right.

One thing I am super sure is that, if you want 2 kids, it must be YOU and your hubby who want 2 kids. Not your oldest child wants it. Taking care of an additional child is a big responsibility and I don't think it is appropriate to base that decision on your older kid's demand; a young kid does not know the true impact of having a younger sibling to her life. It should be a completely adult-oriented decision.[/quote]Firstly, anyone with siblings will never understand what an only child goes through. Actually I wanted to mention that but forgot. So most parents who decide on having an only child are seldom an only child themselves. This means while you enjoy all the benefits or shortcomings of a big family, this decision you make for your child has implications you may never fully appreciate. Besides reading a book, I think if you have friends who are the only child, have that 1-1 talk and find out more. Better yet, make sure your sample is wide enough with different ages rather that just similar ages to you - different phases in life will reveal more.

As for outsourcing your care, no matter how good or passionate a mum you are, once you have two, you need to let go more. What you experience with your first child is unlikely to repeat as you won't have the time for 1-1 with your child as much, plus you will be more experienced by the time no2 comes. For eg, all that bottle washing and personal attention to feeding and dressing will suddenly not be as important as when you first experienced it with no1.

I don't think big families are necessary better or necessary worse off. There are things you have no control over, but then there things you can do differently from your parents. Parents compensate and calibrate with kids, with 1 of course all the attention - good or bad ends up with the child.

If you stick with one, even if she turns out ok, her kids, your grandkids won't have cousins from your side and naturally the family experience tends to be of the smaller scale, again this will be different from yours. Just because you have more kids doesn't mean it won't feel like you only have one child too, but if you have only one, that's all it is ever going to be.

Certainly a child is not a pet. Parents should want the child, and not because their friends are having 2 or that it is a trend.

Frankly I feel you are in danger of feeding your bias. You definitely need to speak to an only child who is much older than you and sense the challenges of being an only child.

Ps. Lastly, that book probably wasnā€™t written by a local? Asian families are different from non Asian. You also need to look at the Singaporean only child experience!

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930193https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930193Tue, 20 Aug 2019 02:29:50 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Mon, 19 Aug 2019 09:29:03 GMT]]>

erencie\" post_id=\"1930100\" time=\"1566206318\" user_id=\"173505:

zac's mum\" post_id=\"1930093\" time=\"1566205328\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=1930093 time=1566205328 user_id=53606]By the way, I have looked after 2-3 kids on play dates before, it is MUCH easier than looking after just one.

Thatā€™s why some people suggest having the babies close together in age. My PD suggested 2.5 years age gap as the motherā€™s body would have recovered fully by then.

Just for your consideration. I know Iā€™ve considered regularly over the years (Iā€™m still fertile at 41) but always same conclusion.
So it is like \"1+1<2\"? I believe what you said is true for children of similar age gap (considering twins' parents, or childcare teachers' daily job). How about children of large age gap?

I have a friend who has two kids with an age gap of 4. Whenever I visit their home, I saw the two kids are on different activities. Daddy brings the older kid to museum, zoo, library all by himself. Mummy takes care of the younger baby all by herself. The entire family is split into two groups of 1adult+1child cluster. Is this always the case? Maybe situation will improve as they grow up? Looking for parents of 2 children with large age gap to answer.[/quote]
Haha I like your formula!!!

Yes itā€™s true for kids of similar age who can play or chitchat with each other. But also true in a slightly different way for bigger age gap...

My 9 year old son has two 2 year old girl cousins. Thatā€™s an age gap of 7 years. When I bring them out, he is old enough to help me watch out for their safety. Nag them about house rules/traffic rules etc. Or, while I am carrying them, he will help me to open doors, carry bags etc. I have trained him to be a gentleman that way. So the older kid takes on more responsibility. He doesnā€™t have jealousy problem because he knows he gets more privileges for his age to go with the responsibility.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930105https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930105Mon, 19 Aug 2019 09:29:03 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Mon, 19 Aug 2019 09:18:38 GMT]]>

zac's mum\" post_id=\"1930093\" time=\"1566205328\" user_id=\"53606:[quote=\"zac's mum\" post_id=1930093 time=1566205328 user_id=53606]
By the way, I have looked after 2-3 kids on play dates before, it is MUCH easier than looking after just one.

Thatā€™s why some people suggest having the babies close together in age. My PD suggested 2.5 years age gap as the motherā€™s body would have recovered fully by then.

Just for your consideration. I know Iā€™ve considered regularly over the years (Iā€™m still fertile at 41) but always same conclusion.[/quote]
So it is like \"1+1<2\"? I believe what you said is true for children of similar age gap (considering twins' parents, or childcare teachers' daily job). How about children of large age gap?

I have a friend who has two kids with an age gap of 4. Whenever I visit their home, I saw the two kids are on different activities. Daddy brings the older kid to museum, zoo, library all by himself. Mummy takes care of the younger baby all by herself. The entire family is split into two groups of 1adult+1child cluster. Is this always the case? Maybe situation will improve as they grow up? Looking for parents of 2 children with large age gap to answer.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930100https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930100Mon, 19 Aug 2019 09:18:38 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Mon, 19 Aug 2019 09:02:08 GMT]]>By the way, I have looked after 2-3 kids on play dates before, it is MUCH easier than looking after just one.


Thatā€™s why some people suggest having the babies close together in age. My PD suggested 2.5 years age gap as the motherā€™s body would have recovered fully by then.

Just for your consideration. I know Iā€™ve considered regularly over the years (Iā€™m still fertile at 41) but always same conclusion.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930093https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930093Mon, 19 Aug 2019 09:02:08 GMT<![CDATA[Reply to Club Only Child Club on Mon, 19 Aug 2019 08:53:28 GMT]]>Thatā€™s so true. I am totally against the idea of giving birth just to satisfy the whims and fancies of the only child to get a playmate. Not even caving in to his whims and fancies to get a pet dog. A new baby (or fully grown person) is not a toy or object for him to play with.


We have been having this discussion with my 9 year old on and off over the years. Told him that this is the decision between a husband and wife. When he whines: ā€œBut I like big families, itā€™s very ēƒ­é—¹ (heā€™s an extrovert)ā€ my response is, when you grow up, you can find a wife who wants a big family too. Then you can have your ideal family.

]]>https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930089https://forum.kiasuparents.com/post/1930089Mon, 19 Aug 2019 08:53:28 GMT