Kids can be 'enriched' at home too

[ChiefKiasu]

While it is good and nice to get a child to buy into doing an enrichment course, the question is how does the child know what his preferences are to make his decision when he has never experienced it himself? All children love to have fun. The way enrichment classes work is to try to inject fun and excitement into the activities so as to keep the kids interested while teaching concepts. How do children learn to do more serious things if everything must be fun before they do it?


And what if the child says NO only midway through the course? Do you stop the course immediately? Would that not signal to the child that it is ok to give up when things get tough?

These are the questions that keep me awake at night

[mintcc]

just to digress abit … all this talk about parents "being proud of the children’s ability"reminds me of the Shi fu and his student Tai Lung in the movie "Gongfu Panda."


Shi fu is very proud of Tai Lung whom he train from infancy because Tai Lung show promising talent in martial art. He encourage the ability but tai lung wanted Dragon’s scroll so that he can become even more powerful and eventually become a villian angry at his master and benefactor for not giving him the scroll. Near the end of the show, Shi Fu apologise to Tai Lung saying that he have always been proud of Tai Lung’s ability but his pride for his student had blind him to what Tai Lung grew to become and did not notice it until it is too late.

Well, I feel the moral of the story is that it is equally if not more important to cultivate good values and a stong character that is not blinded by pursuit of greed and power.

In the end, many have fallen (and bring others down with them) dispite of their academic supremacy and ability because they ignore what is right and wrong in their pursuit of wealth and power and other personal gratification. Financial scandals like Enron and NKF are just a few examples of smart people who go down the wrong path.

[tamarind]

mincy,

Thanks for sharing the nice story Totally agree with you about cultivating good values and strong character.

ChiefKiasu:

While it is good and nice to get a child to buy into doing an enrichment course, the question is how does the child know what his preferences are to make his decision when he has never experienced it himself? All children love to have fun. The way enrichment classes work is to try to inject fun and excitement into the activities so as to keep the kids interested while teaching concepts. How do children learn to do more serious things if everything must be fun before they do it?

And what if the child says NO only midway through the course? Do you stop the course immediately? Would that not signal to the child that it is ok to give up when things get tough?

These are the questions that keep me awake at night

We have a small electronic musical keyboard at home, my kids are free to play with it any time they want. But my boy does not want to go for any piano lessons. I think to him, playing piano at home is fine, but sitting in a class to learn is \"not nice\". I am glad that he indicates his preference clearly, I would be in distress if I paid a few hundred dollars for his piano class and halfway he said he \"don't want already\".

But then he also said that his Berries Chinese class is \"not fun\", because he thinks that learning Chinese is difficult. But that is non-negotiable :lol:

[kaitlynangelica]

Hee hee…my gal also said her phonics not fund and will give all kinds of excuses not to go. But that is also non-negotiable cos she k1 liao and still cannot read. After the phonics class ( about 2 months ) can now read 2 and 3-letter words.

[jedamum]

ChiefKiasu:

While it is good and nice to get a child to buy into doing an enrichment course, the question is how does the child know what his preferences are to make his decision when he has never experienced it himself? All children love to have fun. The way enrichment classes work is to try to inject fun and excitement into the activities so as to keep the kids interested while teaching concepts. How do children learn to do more serious things if everything must be fun before they do it?


And what if the child says NO only midway through the course? Do you stop the course immediately? Would that not signal to the child that it is ok to give up when things get tough?

These are the questions that keep me awake at night

Your questions in bold, my answers, \"Exactly!\"

Some kids (and even adults) are afraid to venture into unknown grounds, and will strongly resent going for extra classes when you brought up the issue to them. The fact is that they do not know what is in store for them, so they prefer to shut them out and remain status quo.
My boy resent going for his swimming lessons when I first enrolled him. Through many reassurance and some lessons later, he started to enjoy them. But as the students need to change instructors as they progress through different stages of learning, the first day of his third term, he cried and asked me to withdraw him immediately. Did I give in to his request? No...as I know very well his reason of wanting to withdraw even before he told me. Now, a month into the 3rd term and he is thanking me that I did not withdraw him as he enjoys swimming class very much.

As to 'will i stop the course halfway if the going gets tough', the answer is that i will only stop if the teacher/environment/curriculum is unsuitable for my boy. As I enrolled my boy in mostly basic and necessary enrichment (eg academic and life-saving skills ie swimming) - at the moment, I believe that these are essential courses that he needs to go through whether he likes it or not.

[tamarind]

kaitlynangelica:

Hee hee...........my gal also said her phonics not fund and will give all kinds of excuses not to go. But that is also non-negotiable cos she k1 liao and still cannot read. After the phonics class ( about 2 months ) can now read 2 and 3-letter words.

I think english and chinese enrichment classes are definitely non-negotiable. Where to find kids who will say that they like to study ?

But anything other than that, I totally respect my kid's choice. Then when he grows up and ask me \"Mommy why you never let me learn piano\", then I can say \"You say you don't want mah !\" Good way to save money too.

[lovebearsallthings]

You are right that most of the enrichment classes are very ‘fun’. The intent (I hope) is to make learning ‘fun’, and whilst it is still ‘fun’, to expose the children and let them absorb as much as possible.


I start by asking my child first if this is what he wants. I try to tell him that once you start a class, you will have to stick to it, especially when it’s something that he asks for. I hope he understands what I’m saying, because he seemed to agree with me!

In future, I will probably just ask him to choose one thing to learn first, for instance, musical instrument or taekwando (just an example). I will try to tell him that once you decide on it, try to stick to it. Of course, if I find that it is disrupting his school-life / overall well-being, then I will probably have to make the move to pull him out after he has tried hard enough.

You know as parents, we are always in a dilemma. Do you enrol your child in something that he/she is good at and loves (for instance, music), or something which you know he/she is less developed in?

[lovebearsallthings]

Oh, and for the record, I also believe that character building begins at home


No school, no matter how branded, can ensure this. I think this is something that parents MUST take ownership on.

[ChiefKiasu]

I think the "issue" is whether it is right for us parents say that certain types of enrichment courses are "non-negotiable". Is it good for us to arbitrarily decide on behalf of our children what is good for them? Would that constitute a violation of our children’s rights? Conversely, is it right for us to only let them do the things they like, even though we know there are skills that they need badly which they don’t like acquiring?


The problem with the media is that they tend to sensationalize things. "XYZ are sending their children to expensive pre-schools that they can barely afford". "ABC are making their toddlers attend enrichment courses 6 days a week". And these reports portray such parents as kiasu, brand-conscious, and basically… brainless parents who unnecessarily stress their children. From this thread alone, it is clear that we parents may be kiasu (because the system made us), but we are definitely not stupid. We do generally know the importance of a balanced life for our children.

I suspect the reporters of such articles are probably non-parents. As I have always said… only parents will understand the stress of nurturing children through the complex stratas of our Singapore education system.

[lovebearsallthings]

Haha, that is the 'job' of the media


But our job as parents, is to do the best we can for our kids within reasonable limits. I think we can always bring our children to lots of classes, but ultimately, I think our children's health (physical and mental) is most important. I am sure we have met a lot of people who have sick children, and I always try to tell myself how lucky I am to have healthy children. We sometimes forget the most basic things, in pursuit of the 'lofty good-to-haves'.

Ultimately we are all parents, so we can understand the concerns behind each parent's post. We tell ourselves not to be kiasu, but when we hear of other parents sending their kids to very good schools, we are afraid that because of our own 'judgement', we deny our own children. Hence sometimes we are in a dilemma, and as parents we are not perfect too. With my first child I am a little more 'kiasu' haha, but with the second one, I'm more 'relaxed' and more sure of what I want.

What can I say.. it's a learning process