Hi Tyeogh,


:goodpost:
Thank you very much for sharing and glad to hear that your kid is doing well!

Point taken, parental support is very important on a consistent basis and it is a 3-way relationship with the teacher, parent and child! This is so that the child can reach his full potential.... ( now such talk make sense to me....). Am now exploring home-schooling materials and doing finely graded reading with my boy. I like those materials that are simple and straight-forward, teaching concepts step-by-step and bit-by-bit so that my boy can handle with minimum stress.

Surely there is a way and we don't give up. Take care and God Bless!
:celebrate:

Hi Cool Cool, Tyeogh and all,


How are you?

Cool Cool's post prompted me to share and I hope my sharing can further help you in your consideration and decision for your child.

My boy is now 10.5 yo and was in mainstream P4. We deferred his P1 and in the following year engaged a shadow teacher to support him in the mainstream school. He had shadow-support for 3 years. But in middle of P3, my boy started having frequent meltdowns and reacted very badly during SA1. The shadow teacher and case manager told me he was task-avoidance and having very bad attitude which we should not let him get away with. However, my motherly instinct told me he was very stressed and I told everybody to STOP! and do not \"force\" my boy anymore. After that, I applied to Pathlight for my boy but he was rejected reason being they don't think he could clear the PSLE, not even Foundation. We were disappointed indeed and so he ended up starting P4 in mainstream school although we had hope that he would start in Pathlight. I stopped the shadow support at P4 thinking to see how he would fared out without the added stress. Things seemed fine until the teacher called me up and insisted that I went in to observe him in class. I had the \"privilege\" of going in couple of times a week for the past few months to observe him and was horrified to see how disengaged he was. Initially, I too, thought the problem was his task avoidance but suddenly I asked him \"Is this work too difficult for you?\" and my boy said \"Yes\". So he absolutely refused to do any worksheet or take out any textbook. Furthermore, he could not do composition, could not do comprehension and upon insistence, would complete MCQ questions quickly and got most of them wrong. The most alarming thing to me was that he was started to skip class and was caught by me when I went into school to shadow him. He has never done that! He was also starting to act silly when he attended the pull-out class for a particular subject when previously his behaviour was alright.

At about the same time, another SPED school offered to interview him and after an assessment and 2-days of trial classes, offered him a place at the SPED school. I made the most difficult decision to transfer him to this SPED school and until now we have not yet given up on the mainstream school as cutting it out is the most scary thing imaginable to us. Could not bring ourselves to write to the school yet, told them to give us 3 months!

Yes, Cool Cool, even if you decide to spend the money to get a shadow teacher, must be prepared to see it though all the way or else mid-stream, what are you going to do if you could not sustain? Same as for international school. There is no cheap international or private sped school around. Unless you consider the primary school along Novena - Thomson (San Yu adventist primary school)? No vacancy for my boy's level already!

I had to force myself to think of the eventuality that what if he fails PSLE where will my boy go for secondary school? True, there are a couple of schools he can go to but he will not be well-supported and they are not meant for special kids. So now, I had to make a tough choice - force him to do PSLE or transfer him out now into the SPED school system?

We chose the door that has opened but are still wondering whether it is the right decision or not. If we go by \"peace in the heart\", how to have peace when you are making a choice that no parents would wish to do? Although actually we really SHOULD be thankful to God that my boy would have a place to go to all the way until he is 21 years old (supported by MOE) if necessary! On a positive note, after attending for one month of SPED school, it seems like my boy is now TALKING MORE.... is it because now that the pressure is off?

I should also mention that I have asked my boy many times whether he wants to go back to the mainstream school or go to the special school? My boy answered every time that he wants to go to the sped school. When I asked why? He said it is good.....

Cool Cool, imho, I will also suggest you explore the other SPED schools most of which have open houses a few times a year to consider if they would be better serve your kid. Please check with them on your unique situation as well and vacancies.

Tyeogh, as usual some of your views reflect mine as well and that in itself is therapeutic.
Thanks!
:celebrate:

phtthp:

...this shows that your son is able to read and write Mandarin well, is not that your boy cannot even read nor write any Chinese character at all, hence the educational professionals conclude that since he actually didn't show a learning disability in P2 Chinese, thus did not clear him for exemption ?


This was what happened, to my friend's daughter (also ASD child) from a mission primary school. In the end, at PSLE : her daughter did 3 Standard subjects (English, Maths, Science), plus Foundation Chinese. Her mom said Foundation Chinese, is much easier.

Hi phtthp,

Thanks for sharing!

Anyway, currently boy is already going to a different class to learn more basic Chinese compared to his other classmates who remain in class waiting for their laoshi to come. So everyday he needs to carry not only his backpack but another bag to hold all his Chinese text/activity/exercise books so that he can bring to his chinese class...

We are taking one step at a time and I am sure everything will work out for good eventually lor...

:celebrate:

Double E:

DesertWind

Your boy is in mainstream right? My boy is similar, he can read with Hanyu Pin yin, writes nice chinese character, could score in his Ting Xie. If not for him missing the entire page 2 of his Chinese exam paper, he could have squeezed into Band 1. But I know his compo and oral will be a big problem, that's why I was comtemplating exemption by the time he turns P2. Looks like I may face similar issue as you when I decide to apply exemption for him, unless his results deteriorated.

Hi Double E,

Yes, my boy in mainstream. Its good to hear that your boy is coping well with Chinese so far!
I suppose nowadays just can't expect the MT exemption will be granted even after we got all the paperwork done and send in the application lor...
:celebrate:

tyeogh:

Hi Desertwind,

When the child development doctor saw my son, she wrote an exemption letter for him straight away. It's a good thing someone thinks your son can make it, no? :rotflmao:

On the other fronts, my son is well settled into Pathlight foundation year. No pressure, no stress. He is happy. I am happy. That's all that matters I suppose?

Hi Tyeogh,

Ya, in Pathlight it is automatic exemption for MT so no worries. Even all the special arrangements and concessions for exams. eg. extra time etc. will be arranged by the school with the MOE directly.

Anyway, whichever school our boys attend, it must work on daily basis on all front ya? Yes, the kid must be happy and then the adults will be happy too!

:celebrate:

mashy:

Try the exemption application again next year? I've heard of a lot of rejections from MOE recently. I must be so blessed to get exemption quickly. We had the psychologist's report and the Cdu doctor's letter when we submitted. The letter was very simple. Both had recommendations for him to be exempted from MT.

Hi mashy,

Ya, maybe times have changed. Anyway, we will appeal and see how... :celebrate:

Hi tyeogh, double-E and all,


How are you?

How time flies, boy is now in P2 and still having a shadow-teacher. This shadow-teacher is a God-send and has been following up on my boy since P1 for 4 hours each day. She will write daily feedback and also make sure he finishes his homework on time in school. When she cannot shadow him, it shows in his messy bag and pencil case with missing stationery etc.

The mid-year report was a good one all things considered. His Maths is quite good but English is not ideal. Teacher suspected we over-focus on Maths and he was quite right. English composition would be a problem going forward. Boy's speech is still not on par with his peers but he sure can nag when he wants to. For eg. now, he wants to \"go on holiday, mummy!\" because June holiday is coming and he is anticipating our staycation in Sentosa hotel again.

While I was hoping he can do without the shadow teacher, but the arrangement is now so comfortable that I just close one eye to :moneyflies: :moneyflies: :moneyflies: .

Some of us are pretty pensive for some reason as we ponder the future...

For me, am not without my fair share of challenging situation.

For example, we just received the letter from MOE informing the school that our application for Mandarin exemption has failed. So what are we going to do now? Siaz..... :? Sometimes I am amazed at the types of tomatoes that are being thrown to us. Thought we have taken care of one issue already another one came! :gloomy: Teachers in school all surprised because they thought this would be a straight-forward case since they have never heard my boy verbalized one word of Mandarin in the 2 years there and oral etc. all close to zero-points. But my boy can write Mandarin beautifully and read with the help of hanyu-pinyin.

Hubby actually wanted to stomp into the PD's office asking what happened, izzit the report not written well enough? I told him we better stop and think carefully what we want to do next. For eg. the rejection letter stated that exemption would be given on grounds of learning disability, not ASD.....

Anyway....not going to think much for now because need to take a break lah...enjoy our holidays with our kids first. Yes, because they really don't have a care in the world at their age. My boy is really happy to go school each day!.

:celebrate:

Hi Tyeogh, Double-E and all mummies and daddies here!


How are you?

I just went back to read up Tyeogh's posting in July and saw that his boy was offered a Foundation level year in Pathlight.

My opinion? I would recommend he takes up Pathlight's offer at Foundation level for 2016 and then he will have another year to consider what he would want to do for 2017. Reason being his boy is a year-end Dec boy hence the choice is either to defer P1 and repeat K2; or to go for Foundation year at Pathlight in 2016. Let's say Mr Tai Kor has already decided to put boy #4 at PL-Foundation, then in 2016, he will have the chance to experience PL and see how well is boy #4 progressing then decide whether to continue on at Pathlight for P1-Standard in 2017, or to Kor Kor's mainstream school P1.

Best regards,
:celebrate:

Talking about caning. Seriously, there is a cut-off time for it. By 8 or 9 years old cannot liao! In fact, I will cut off at 7 yo, or once the kid start primary school. From my own experience won’t work already! My mum got to put away her cane when we reached 8 or 9 and we were quite relieved that she no longer treated us like "babies"!

For my boy, now that he is 7 yo, in fact he will start to look hurt and tears if I pull out the cane…even just to warn and not to hit! So buay-sai liao.

But for my younger one, 3 1/2 yo, the CANE is it! How many times he threw down ko-ko’s books in anger or wanted attention is how many times I will hit him with the cane! He cannot win or get away for being naughty! Until now, with a glare, or a raised index-finger, he froze. That is the effect that I want. Otherwise, how to control him outside or when he is older, to let him know you mean business?

Couragemom:

Hi Dessertwind,

Thanks for sharing! All victories both big and small are celebrated by us all as we know they don't come easy and the tons of blood and tears to get our little ones to where they are now is no small feat! I believe it is the only thread where we can safely 'brag' about our little one and nobody will think we are those 'cannot lose' type of parents! Hahaha....

Hi Couragemom,
Yes, if we are deemed to be boasting, it's often only because we are happy that our kids have reached the baseline which other kids achieve so easily and effortlessly. So can't be called bragging or kiasu actually! But we are just mere human being, so sometimes we still compare with other special needs kids... :roll: