http://yourhealth.asiaone.com/content/b ... disability


Came across this article. This is good stuff. For those parents considering no 2 or even for our ASD kids next time when they hv kids.

Hope they hv more breakthrough in science for ASD.

pinkamoon:

Exactly, I just hope that the school and teachers can be more understanding to these children. My son is beginning to be more 'cooperative'. Hopefully he can sit in class without causing too much disruptions too. :xedfingers:

I think putting your child into a mainstream environment is the right thing to do if you think he can withstand that chaotic environment.

My son dislike his mainstream CC a lot. Kept to himself, doesnt participate in their school work nor play with his classmates. But I think that experience enabled him to strive in his mainstream primary school now.

I do get lots of negative feedback as well. Sadly most of the time teachers just cast him aside, didn't spend time to teach him. He was being left alone. My thought that time was to let him get used to what mainstream environment is like, let him know not everyone will make accommodation for him. He just need to learn how to blend in.

I think how he is able to strive now also attribute to his training in mainstream CC. However this time in primary school, he is given a fair chance. The teachers didn't outcast him like in CC last time. Probably that's why he is more motivated.

Anyway, its a long long journey... I also don't know if I am doing right for my son or not, but we just have to take a leap of faith

Couragemom:

Hi Nugget,

Glad your son has settled down in his primary school. :rahrah:

Yes, I will always has the deepest gratitude to all the mommies and 1 daddy who supported me thru my darkest moments a few months ago when i just started out. Now I am more at peace with myself. Thank you and do drop by when you are free to update us!

Thanks. I think he is doing better than I expected him to be. However he is often alone in school (which I think he is more than happy to be left alone). When it comes to P3 or older, the conversations the kids have will be more abstract and matured. He will definitely be awkward and get single out.

Am thinking of signing him up for taekwando so won't be subjected to bullying. * I tend to think too much and too far*.

Academic wise, I am trying to let him do as much as he can. Need to work on his concentration problem. Was hoping if he can do well academically, he will have more confidence when meeting his classmates.

At the same time, I stopped all the pte therapy too. But I am still hanging on to all the OT and SLT and doing them like once a month.

Couragemom:

Hi ImMeeMee,

I was just thinking what happen to you, Nugget and Mashy and suddenly I saw your posting. Glad to hear that your daughter is doing well in her school.

Hi Couragemom,

Thanks for thinking about me. Due to work and other stuff, I haven't had time to check this thread out a lot.

Welcome all the new moms to this thread. This is thread here is a very good support group. Not only we share information about therapies, we also support each other whenever we feel down, acknowledge the our deepest fears and rejoice our kids achievement.

Its a long journey indeed. I think we will not rest until the day we rest this world.

Regarding delaying kid, I am sure if I were to delay my son 1 year, he will definitely benefit as he is also a year end kid. He is now in P1, even though his grades aren't great, but he is very motivated and loves going to school when he doesn't have any friends. I also don't know why..

Just sharing my thoughts on putting ASD kids into mainstream environment.

I do believe parents involvement is very important. However, not everyone are so compassionate towards ASD child especially in the mainstream environment. This is something that we need to be realistic about especially in our competitive society. I think if teachers make concessions for our kids due to their conditions is our blessings. If not, we just have to be thick skin and kiasu and keep following up with teachers.

Nowadays, I don't even tell teachers that my kid is special for some of his enrichment classes. Because I want him to be treated normally like any other kid. To the teachers, my boy might seem slow and always day dream. At least they take an effort to tell me where he is weak at, complain about his work and attentiveness.

My goal for my son has always been:
1. Be independent
2. Able to integrate with the mainstream society
3. Able to make a living for himself (this one is something we need to work on at later stage)

However I still baby my son a lot. I need to constantly tell myself to let go. Let him grow up and do things on his own. I am still working on it.

Everyone jiayou!

mashy:

My son says he will buy a house and I can stay with him! Yippee!

So sweet of your boy.

Sometimes when my kids get too naughty, I would something like they don't love me. Cos if they love me they won't do things that make me upset and one day I might be so heartbroken that I will just die. And the way they behave right now.. Very soon i will die then they have no more mummy. .. (More for my no 2 cos he takes soft approach)

Then son will say \"no no I don't want mummy to die so fast. I want mummy to die so slow\". HB laugh so loud cos sounded like slow death. But at least I know my son even though ASD but he loves me enough to want me to live longer..

Yes son lately started to get interested in art and painting. And we sign him up at community center. Lol. So glad he is coping well and he wants to continue for 2nd term.


Finally I found something he likes.

Mashy


Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. I also always look up to you for tips esp our sons age are near both are in mainstream…
Son got quite good results for his maths! Gosh… We were so happy! Here’s a few things we did…

Yes he is competitive in nature esp to his younger sibling. Will be real mad when he lost his game. Using this trait of his competitiveness against his younger bro, I told him if he fails for everything, he has to go back k2 (Which he hates most) and stay there until his bro goes k2 then both go p1 again together. He of cos didnt want that.

Another thing i did was only if he pass his test, any one paper written , he can go for the holiday trip with us in June. If all fail, then he has to stay in Singapore cos holiday trip are reward for people who work really hard and earn it. Smart boy say if he fail and we go without him, I will end up crying cos I will be missing him! Funny to get that comment from him. But at least he knows we love him.

One more thing we did was to tell him marks need to pass. Like maths at least 13 marks so u pass. English 25 then pass. Chinese 25 then pass. So he knows he need to answer as many as possible to get more marks.

Last thing is practise and practise and practise. Cos practise makes perfect! No other shortcut way.

I haven’t seen his English and Chinese results. But I am already happy that he pass his maths. He put in effort to read and do correctly after I poured my hard work into him.

Thank you mommies for giving all suggestions and lending a listening ear.

Slmkhoo


Thank you of your words of wisdom. Sorry for replying late. I guessed I was all pent up and finding a channel to rant. Felt better and move on to continue to seek ways to help him and spend time with my other 2 kids. Making him independent is our ultimate aim as well. Making him pass psle is a enabling milestone to help him to have more choices for the next steps.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, it really provided us hope and brighten the thoughts we have for our ASD kiddos. (Am sure most moms agreed).

ImMeeMee, Double E
thanks, indeed it felt better after ranting. I guess on and off we will fall into the pithole of being frustration, self pity and unfairness mode. As much as I want to be positive, but I guess once my threshold is over, I will encounter a meltdown too. Lol

Thanks for listening and giving comforting words.

Couragemom
Yes I recv ur pm abt your psychologist. Thanks for thinking of me. Son has a tutor now plus seeing psychologist requires logistics, time and cost.. We kiv that consultation first. Son now.is attending regular OT at IMH. They are also helping to address these issue for us. Hope they will be able to show some positive impact on him.

Yes pls prep ur son for p1. I overlook this point.. Is good that we hv this forum for sharing isn't it. To.share everything

Niu2009,


Thanks. During K time, we are not even sure if he can go into mainstream at all. That was how aloof he is. And we are also working on all his other developmental issues. We only start focusing on academic stuff much later when we feel he can strive. He is those that need 1-1 attention a lot.

I guess we should really take time. I didn’t expect the pace and depth of P1 to be so fast and hard. I got a shocked myself too.

slmkhoo:

He's only in P1, isn't he? It will probably take more time and practice. Don't give up! My daughter was like that too, and it does get better with practice. You will have to be stricter at home, put the timer in another room, refuse to talk to him etc. We actually had someone else come in to do that with my daughter every day doing homework, and after a semester, we could see that it helped. She still dreams, but is better at self-control now (but she's 17yo!).

Thanks slmkhoo,

I really lost it last week. Never felt so stress during my exams before. He can do all his work but because he cannot concentrate and end up all wrong or he just anyhow filled up answers and ended up fail. Not only fail, but fail badly. He feels making \"mistakes\" is okay because can do correction later.

I have been trying to condition him at home. I don't know how much he is taking in. I don't even know if he is trying at all.

I really feel like giving up. Sigh.. but if I give on him, the whole world will give up on him too. *cry* I am not asking for 90% scores or what. I just want him to pass, be average and blend in. I guess this is a new experience/next hurdle for me. I am still trying to manage my emotions.

When I share this someone close to me, she told me \"aiya your son is not very clever one, why you set your expectation so high?\". Very sad, my son is not normal like other people but it doesnt mean he is stupid.

Probably I feel my son is not stupid, at least can prove himself in someway. Yet he cannot concentrated and fail so badly at his previous paper made me feel frustrated.

After all the therapies, carefully planning everything for him, making all adjustments, requesting teachers help and giving them special instructions. I did the best I could, why doesn't he try hard enough? I feel so unjust for him yet I don't know how I can help.

I keep telling myself to push on. The end game is PSLE. And this is the first time he is taking test.. I should relax a bit. But I am just following everyone into this MOE kiasu pressure cooker parent mode. I can't stand myself also. Why am i like this