Boyfriend / Girlfriend

[VitoRelax]

CJS:

How do you parents tell if your teenage children have a boyfriend or girlfriend ? What are the signs to look out for ?

I suppose the tell tale sign would be they send & receive sms in one corner, they tend to be self concious about themselves, for girls maybe start wanting to be pretty & do make up ....

[quote]How do you handle the issue of boyfriend or girlfriend with your child ? Suppose your child refuse to break off his / her relationship, what do you do ?[/quote]Honest answer from me is I also really don't know !!

[Bear.014745w.014745me]

It seems like some problems are generic.


My DD1 also started to show annoyance if the sisters and parents wanted to touch her mobile phone.

Last night, I saw a boy’s message came in when the phone is right in front of me. When I queried about it, she just mentioned just normal friend but I put her in a girls only school!! Sigh…

Confiscate the mobilephone?
Bar her from mobilephone?
Control her travel time from school to home?
Nowadays any child that has not been given a mobilephone yet? (i fought a lost battle here)

[daisyt]

Bear.w.me:

It seems like some problems are generic.


My DD1 also started to show annoyance if the sisters and parents wanted to touch her mobile phone.

Last night, I saw a boy's message came in when the phone is right in front of me. When I queried about it, she just mentioned just normal friend but I put her in a girls only school!! Sigh...

Confiscate the mobilephone?
Bar her from mobilephone?
Control her travel time from school to home?
Nowadays any child that has not been given a mobilephone yet? (i fought a lost battle here)

Hi bear.with.me, this is a common issues amoung teens now because they learn from each other, learn from seniors. I personally feel nothing to do with in a girls school or mix school.

Depends on the character of your dd and your parenting method (some parents respect privacy of their kids), you can try the following methods.

Confiscate the mobilephone? Bar her from mobilephone? - leave this to the last resort, try all kinds of methods first. Eg. talk to her, read her sms secretly when she is sleeping, demand to read her sms face to face.

Control her travel time from school to home? - try to keep track of her time table, schedule, judge her travel timing. There are many ways of spot check, eg. ezlink card, singtel/starhub has a good value added service, once a while go fetch her. I have heard of stories of parent secretly following the child and discover some surprises. You must have seen in the newspaper not long ago, parent hire PI to follow the daughter and discover the relationship the daughter has with the male tutor.

Of course, be prepared to play hide and seek later if they are aware that you are checking on them. Really ... you think over and see whats the best method for your child.

[Bear.014745w.014745me]

Thanks again Daisyt,


I think you have gone through these few things while bringing up your child too, uh?

Once the child step into secondary school, many things need to take care:
- which CCA? Too many too little?
- Boy friend/Girl friend (I hold the view that not advisable maybe until tertiary level)
- Pure sciences, maths
- Combined humanities
- English, Literature
- Own room/own space
- More liberal use of computer?

Fortunately there is KSP and parents like yourself (also others) around to offer life experiences. :thankyou:

[sleepy]

daisyt:

There are many ways of spot check, eg. ezlink card, singtel/starhub has a good value added service,

how to check ezlink card?
what kind of value added service?

How about buying handphone with GPS?

[daisyt]

hi sleepy, for ezlink card, go to the top up machine (the purple colour one), place the card there and choose the info or a question mark (I cannot rem). Then you will see a list of transactions with timing, bus no, mrt name.



http://info.singtel.com/personal/communication/mobile/postpaid-plans/vas/locator?selecttab=4

http://www.starhub.com/mylocator

Got hp with GPS mei ?? :shock:

[mrswongtuition]

If your child can get his/her priorities straight, I think parents should be open about it.


If you find out about it, don’t flare up. It’ll shut them off further. Instead, talk to them about dating, underage sex and the consequences.

I always tell my students: they can keep the relationship from their parents, but they can’t run away from themselves. If the relationship sours, it affects more people than they think. Some are confident that nothing will happen but once they hear about real life experiences, they start to freak out.

I started dating during my sec sch days and I was in a girls’ school since P1. I started dating my hb when I was in S4. He was my pillar of support, my extra pair of hands during projects/revision. When I was stressed and frustrated, he kept me company and encouraged me. When I lost heart, he surprised me and pushed me to do well.

My hb is bf #8. BFs #1-7 were not supportive like my hb & I broke with them because I felt that they were affecting my studies.

My niece almost dropped out of school but her bf worked with her mum to push her to study hard. Her bf studied with her under her grandparent’s supervision, they stayed home for movies on DVD instead of going out dating and my niece eventually did well in her studies. He encouraged her alot when she was losing the battle to quit smoking.

Having a gf/bf can be good if your child knows his/her priorities. I knew my priority was to study and do well. But I did not want any emotional baggage that will affect that.

[daisyt]

Agree with mrswongtuition if your child can get his/her priorities straight. Not all kids know that and most of the time, they just want to try out BGR for fun. We parents, should know our kids well. If they are ready to start one, there is no reason we want to object, right ?

[2ppaamm]

Don’t know leh… but I’m still waiting for my kids to show signs…

[MMM]

Bear.w.me:

It seems like some problems are generic.


My When I queried about it, she just mentioned just normal friend but I put her in a girls only school!! Sigh...

Does she go for enrichment classes? Could she have known the boys from those places???

My Sec 3 niece is also from all girls school since primary school. I am her FB friend and observed that she seems to have alot of \"boy\" friends who would tease her and comment on her post. They appeared to be from the enrichment classes. I know she is of the age of having crushes. Haha just got to monitor. It's normal to be curious. But so long as they don't do the wrong thing, it's fine.

I passed by a tuition centre yesterday and saw those teenagers. 2 boys saw another 2 girls they said hello. After that the guy whispered something to the friend. With the \"gel up hair\", it's obviously the looking good age. I thought to myself what would I do when my kids are that age?

I will probably encourage them to bring friends home (including boys). Tell them it's normal to have crushes or admire someone. But imagine if they were to go into a relationship now, it might not last and they will end up hating each other for life :? So be good friends first and then if you are still great friends after so many years, it's probably time to go 1 step further???? :lol: I don't know if this works maybe by then, my daughter would tell me that, \"you made me miss the boat!!!\".

Well... for us who have gone through this stage and other stages in life, actually it's all about fate. Meeting the person who is just right for you. He need not be the coolest and most handsome guy. He just need to be the one who suits you.