All About ADHD : Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
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I got my son fish oil from GNC
He hated the taste.
Any one know where to get Fish Oil that has better taste? -
mummy OnABudget:
no caning i learnt it the hard way the more u cane the more they will kee siao
Sometimes i attempt to throw away his toys as a form of punishment...like you said he kee siao.
Even show sign that he wants to hit me...but he hold back his fist.
BTW he is only 6 coming to 7. -
temjin68:
Perhaps it would help to change your approach towards discipline from punishment to training. Punishment aims to inflict pain as retribution for wrong-doing, with a secondary intention that the child will then be motivated to behave correctly. However, for a child who lacks the ability (because of ADHD or whatever) to behave appropriately, punishment may seem unfair and will cause anger and resentment. Training aims to teach a child correct behaviour and build habits of correct behaviour, and sometimes it necessary to inflict some pain as a goad to right behaviour. Kids can sense what your main motive is, and will react accordingly.mummy OnABudget:
no caning i learnt it the hard way the more u cane the more they will kee siao
Sometimes i attempt to throw away his toys as a form of punishment...like you said he kee siao.
Even show sign that he wants to hit me...but he hold back his fist.
BTW he is only 6 coming to 7. -
i am now using the black white agreement method if he break any clause he have to abide by it and face the consequence.
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With my DD, i’ve found that setting clear boundaries, with unambiguous rules help her to correct her behaviour. I suppose because of the ADHD condition, and with her, she has high impulsivity, she will test boundaries, break rules and try to play a hide and seek game with me.
We’ve always set up our discipline system at home as actions have consequences. If you take actions that go against the home or school rules, you face the consequences. If your actions cause hurt or others, the consequences you face will also cause some form of pain - not the same kind of pain but definitely consequences that you don’t like. We seldom use the "word" punishment.
We use "caning" in the form of ruler on hands or butt but only at primary levels and only when we have repeatedly tried to correct the behaviour and my child is still committing the same undesirable behaviour.
Now that DD is already 13, we have stopped using physical pain as a form of consequence. It’s taking away from her privileges, possessions, curbing of freedom, etc.
I find that whether it’s ADHD kids (my other kids don’t have ADHD) or normal kids, having a clear position and standard about the kind of behaviour that is acceptable for different aspects of the child’s life is important. For eg expectations of homework, the way you treat people, carrying out your responsibilities as a family member, etc. The child actually finds security in the clear boundaries and they don’t resent you when you have to carry out the consequences on them.
I’m glad to say that although my kids do find me quite a "tiger" mum, I know that they don’t resent me when I’ve got to deliver to them the negative consequences for bad behaviour because they can predict that’s what’s coming to them. They can’t say I don’t know this was going to happen to me. My kids still come to talk with me and hug me soon after they have faced the music with me. What’s important is they feel secure that we still love them. We love the child but we don’t condone their bad actions. -
nansk:
Hello nanskIn addition to cutting TV and sweets, you may want to try the other thing jedamum mentioned - Omega-3 fish oil. Buy a good quality brand (with no added sugar) with dosage appropriate for children. We buy Nordic Naturals.
Another food that I have read helps kids to calm down and focus, is a little coffee every morning.
Also, I read http://www.younglivingsuccess.com/2009/08/essential-oils-for-add-and-adhd.html about essential oils used to massage the feet at bedtime. I bought Cedarwood EO, and Lavender EO from a trusted local supplier, http://www.milagrotrading.com/store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=16&zenid=cc12105bd1268c3f0a8759cd90f00265 and mix it with rice bran oil from NTUC Fairprice (10 drops of each EO for every 60 ml of rice bran oil). Not sure if it really helps, but it cannot harm, right? It definitely aids in getting deep, restful sleep. You may want to try this option.
Also, to add, we noticed more focus and readiness to learn after the age of 6. So hang in there; it will get better.
So far did the EO help? -
beanbear:
With my DD, i've found that setting clear boundaries, with unambiguous rules help her to correct her behaviour. I suppose because of the ADHD condition, and with her, she has high impulsivity, she will test boundaries, break rules and try to play a hide and seek game with me.
We've always set up our discipline system at home as actions have consequences. If you take actions that go against the home or school rules, you face the consequences. If your actions cause hurt or others, the consequences you face will also cause some form of pain - not the same kind of pain but definitely consequences that you don't like. We seldom use the \"word\" punishment.
We use \"caning\" in the form of ruler on hands or butt but only at primary levels and only when we have repeatedly tried to correct the behaviour and my child is still committing the same undesirable behaviour.
Now that DD is already 13, we have stopped using physical pain as a form of consequence. It's taking away from her privileges, possessions, curbing of freedom, etc.
I find that whether it's ADHD kids (my other kids don't have ADHD) or normal kids, having a clear position and standard about the kind of behaviour that is acceptable for different aspects of the child's life is important. For eg expectations of homework, the way you treat people, carrying out your responsibilities as a family member, etc. The child actually finds security in the clear boundaries and they don't resent you when you have to carry out the consequences on them.
I'm glad to say that although my kids do find me quite a \"tiger\" mum, I know that they don't resent me when I've got to deliver to them the negative consequences for bad behaviour because they can predict that's what's coming to them. They can't say I don't know this was going to happen to me. My kids still come to talk with me and hug me soon after they have faced the music with me. What's important is they feel secure that we still love them. We love the child but we don't condone their bad actions.
Hello Beanbear
what do you mean by primary levels?
My son has not go to ADHD assessment.
But i guess the primary school P and teachers are hinting to us.
He does show signs of ADHD and recently become violent become his peers.
Like to take method into his own hands.
Punishment drive me crazy, he will scream and scream and hit me.
I try not to hit him as i thought using violent to stop violent does not sound right.
Student care wants him OUT!!! -
temjin68:
I sent DD for assessment with an Educational Psychologist at the end of her P4 year. DD went for Occupation therapy for about 1.5 years and just before the end of P6, she stopped therapy and now she is in Sec 1. DD is not hyperactive, just dreamy, rebellious and high impulsivity. I've had calls from school teachers since P1 all the way until P6. She doesn't hit kids and she yells at them, have friendship problems, authority control issues. Apparently, these are quite common with attention deficit kids.
Hello Beanbear
what do you mean by primary levels?
My son has not go to ADHD assessment.
But i guess the primary school P and teachers are hinting to us.
He does show signs of ADHD and recently become violent become his peers.
Like to take method into his own hands.
Punishment drive me crazy, he will scream and scream and hit me.
I try not to hit him as i thought using violent to stop violent does not sound right.
Student care wants him OUT!!!
Anyway, the Education Psychologist, after assessing DD, told me right away that I must be FIRM in my rules and boundaries, work with school counsellors and teachers on how to manage DD and then of course, send her for Occupational Therapy.
Her school counsellor in her Primary School was very supportive and DD felt that at least she can turn to someone at school that she can trust and feel comforted.
Your son sounds like he has emotional & energy regulation issues and this may be something that OT can help. Why not send him for an OT assessment? The therapist can also help assess if your child has attention issues and other related issues.
I went to a private centre as it's faster and I hate long waiting list. My DD has good memories of her sessions and she is so much better now. She is better able to control her emotions as compared to the earlier years where we woke up everyday to her screaming and yelling every morning. We only found out that for ADHD children, their energy levels go up and down in extreme ways and they get emotional outbursts when they don't know how to manage it properly. That's where OT has helped. These days, DD is calmer when she wakes up, she knows how to rest so that she doesn't get antsy, etc and we help her channel her energy in activities she enjoys so that she doesn't get into trouble when she has high energy.
If your child is still very young, they don't know how to articulate what's happening. They just hit and scream because so much is going on inside. They feel misunderstood. I too have gotten angry with my DD in the past when I didn't understand her condition. We talk about the past and she talks about how people around her wrongly accuse her and she feels misunderstood. Fortunately, she now feels she can talk about it and we can get some healing and closure for the past wrong-doings done to her.
Some kids with hyperactivity are given medication. I know of a doctor friend who has given her own son ritalin and found that it has helped him to focus better. I don't know enough about this to share anything else. Any form of medication will need a doctor's prescription anyway.
All the best to you! -
My DS was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years back and had sessions with child psychologist on how to manage his emotions. Although he is somewhat controlled most times, it is a daily struggle to get him to stick to a routine. And when he is punished for not keeping to it, he shouts and lashes out. I will hold him down tightly to stop him from kicking me or worse, hitting himself. At the end of it, both of us are all tired out. Feel like such a major failure after such break outs. But he will forget all about it after a few hours until the next episode. Does it get better as they grow up?
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Hi bb_mom, it’s really tough and emotionally exhausting for you.
The OT used to tell me about getting DD to do "heavy" work like pushing heavy carton boxes across the room, do high intensity workouts, etc. This was supposed to help to release some of the pent-up "extra" energy they have inside so that they can be calm to do the mental work. We actually had quite a lot of fun doing that with DD. We also had bouncing ball activities that the OT had suggested for DD to do in between task. For eg after a 15 min work, she would do 2 mins of ball bouncing exercise then get back to work.
Over time, DD learnt to extend her attention. It’s a long process. Some days you see improvement, then some days, DD just cannot focus. There are ups and downs. But we learnt to look for signs of progress.
These days, I keep complimenting DD for her calmness, her neat desk (she used to be extremely untidy and even had fungus-growing bread in her bag), her getting her homework done, etc.
Of course, there’s improvement to be made but we look for ways to celebrate. With ADHD kids, I also find having a clear rewards and incentive system works well alongside the discipline system for undesirable behaviour. They need small rewards for good behaviour and you need to keep reinforcing the good behaviour consistently for one week and when they can do that after a week, they can be stretched to take a bigger step and keep rewarding them for that.
For eg, DD hates to read. She finds it boring and needs to move around and do stuff all the time. Finally this year, I started a reading with incentives scheme. 30 mins of reading every nite, sit down at the table to read continuously. When she has done it for 5 days, she gets a small reward (worth about $5 - eg milk shake at coffee bean). 2nd week - still 30 mins reading, but reward now gets bigger ($10 worth) and she is also challenged to read more complex stuff. We are now in our 4th week of this reading scheme. DD can be seen reading for even 1 hour without us telling her to do it. She is looking forward very much to her very big reward (worth about $20).
The similar kind of rewards scheme can be applied for behaviour too. It sounds a bit like dog-training. Well human beings need training too, right? especially when you’re dealing with kids whose behaviour drive you up the wall!!
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