Will you give up your job if your kid wants you to stay?
-
Hi san76,
To share..my hubby used to travel a lot as he is doing regional sales..that's for the last 9 years until this yr where he quitted and looked for another job with no travelling though work later than before. I've been yakking and nagging him as it's too tiring for me to look after 2 kids after work and shuttling up and down my mum's place to fetch them. Life is a lot better knowing he is ard all the time and I won't need to face family circumstances all by myself. It's a huge difference I feel and I'm certain your boy will feel that too. So really worth considering... :ugogirl:
Of late, the idea of quitting from my current job swam back. After my recent promotion, things changed a lot. Heavy workload aside, my boss is demanding more from me and getting more scoldings from him. Last week had a harsh one from me that makes me cry so badly. Both my kids are under my mum's care and to be frank, I can't expect anything more than just childcaring. An e.g. Potty train my little boy. He was trained at my own hse but back to my mum hse.... so sometimes feel v helpless tat there is not much support. Oso after work, really damn tired, still must squeeze time to coach my elder on her schoolwork, no time for my little boy and end up feeling drained, tired and shagged out!
But at this current situation, quitting job seems ridiculous, isn't it??? -
Some food for thoughts
1) What do you need, rather than want? Do you need to see him growing up, be around to guide him? Or do you need the job satisfaction, fatter pocket etc? Which can you live without?
2) If you travel often, could your hubby be around to look after and care for him?
3) Comparing either decision you may make, which do you think you will regret more?
4) Could you have a temporary scale-down role and you can get back to career after your \"break\"? I understand some companies may not take kindly to such arrangement.
A few of my friends' wives (bank VP, marketing director etc) even took a 1-4 year break to look after their kids. Their rationale - kids only have a few years of childhood, you miss it and it's gone and 1-4 years is only a fraction in a 30+ years of career. ok, I am not discriminating against the mothers. I myself was prepared to quit my job for 1 year to solve my son's problem even though I earn much more than my wife. Luckily my boss counterproposed that I worked from home and keep an eye on him. So either mom or dad has to be prepared to make sacrifices when it comes to the crunch. For my case, it was easier because it was a need, not want anymore.
Hope I didnt confuse you further in your decision making.
-
My kids are 7 and 8. I’ve once been thru this dilemma too. MIL even enticed me to quit my job by paying me my last drawn salary. I’m glad I made the right choice. I actually turned down an overseas posting (even though I could bring my kids and maid along) subsequently even switched to a less demanding job with no travelling, no after-hours work and slight pay-cut but I have absolutely no regrets as I am happier now as I have found a balanced life. I used to reach home late and by then my kids were already in bed and most of the times on weekends my mind was either on work or I was physically working on the pc.
Besides in our family, you have more say if you have more pay so that means you better work, be it with husband or MIL. MIL treat you better if you have an education and work. Over here, MIL will try to pay you not to work for the sake of her grand chidlren but mind you you will eventually become powerless as you will be at her mercy when it comes to decision-making on matters. So I decided to continue to work but chose a less-demanding job. -
Hi all
Let us look at it from another perspective.
I am a SAHM with 2 kids into their teens. Now that, they are rather independent and spend most of their time in school, I've been asked the same question.
\"So will you quit your job as a SAHM and return to the workforce?\"
Quite a number of my friends who have teenage children have actually returned to the work force, one by one, either working part-time or full-time. In fact, one friend has just started to miss her \"freedom\" and is looking forward to the end of her one-year contract.
I can return to my previous job if I want to - cos it's not affected by the recession.
BUT - I'm getting too comfortable with my present status and the 'perks' it brings - especially now.
May consider working part-time though...but on one condition that - the job must not tire me out so badly that I am not in a position to relate to my children when they are home from a long day at school. :lol: -
Dearest all dad and mom out there,
I have no issue with taking care of my son he is taken care by my parnets and his studies is good. He can manage without me. I left him for work when he was 4 mths old.
Guess you all are right, time. I should think of a way to balance him and travel. Now I am back bcos of his SA1 and spend time with him. He did me very proud when he and his group got first in chinese poem among all the P1s.
Then again, I started to think back, if I leave, how? All my jobs in hand will be half done, what will my customers think? They will be neither here nor there. I know, nobody is indispensable, but my responsibilties and commitment towards my boss and clients
No matter what, I will have to end some where, but how to tell my boss??? This is the hardest thing for me to open my mouth. he gave me the freedom to fly home or freedom to work on my own time own target. How how...... This job doesnt allow me to work from home. Got to meet clients of different countries and exhibitions.
THANK YOU for all your brain-storming.
:thankyou:
:oops: Feel so bad to open my mouth!!!!! -
hi san76, you must have gotten lots of frequent flyers miles by now... I think there is always two sides of the story. By being responsible for your work, you are setting an example of good work ethics for your child.
Hong Kong and Singapore is not so far... perhaps you can plan more trips for you to come back to Singapore and him to go visit you in Hong kong. two months sounds a bit long to stay away from home. Afterall, you work hard to earn the $$$, so may as well use it right? Skpe, email and MSN with your boy everyday should be good too. But in the long run, may be you might want to plan to lighten your work load to spend more time with him...think by the time they reach 12 yrs old, you want to spent more time with them they also don want liao.
BTW...I think pasta is proper meal
-
mincy:
Dear mincy,hi san76, you must have gotten lots of frequent flyers miles by now... I think there is always two sides of the story. By being responsible for your work, you are setting an example of good work ethics for your child.
Hong Kong and Singapore is not so far... perhaps you can plan more trips for you to come back to Singapore and him to go visit you in Hong kong. two months sounds a bit long to stay away from home. Afterall, you work hard to earn the $$$, so may as well use it right? Skpe, email and MSN with your boy everyday should be good too. But in the long run, may be you might want to plan to lighten your work load to spend more time with him...think by the time they reach 12 yrs old, you want to spent more time with them they also don want liao.
BTW...I think pasta is proper meal
you are very right, when he grows older, he wont want me. Now I need time to end my job. How to end, how to open my mouth to my boss?
I have alot of milage now for kris flyer and cathay. Usually can travel free or upgraded. I dont only fly to HK. HK is the head office. I will fly to middle east, US, switzerland and asia. 2 mths is very rush for me, but I try to make travel short.
Now my worry is how to open my mouth to tell my boss. what will happen to all my clients. -
san76:
if you are indispensable to your boss, then you have the upper hand.
Now my worry is how to open my mouth to tell my boss. what will happen to all my clients.
negotiate for a lighter workload, flexi-work hours, part time etc etc.
i used to be somewhat in your position...what will happen to my accounts/projects if I am gone, especially those I worked from scratch? that's why part timing may be an option; it frees you up from future commitments and gives you time to finish off (or proper handover) what you are currently handling. -
jedamum:
Stress, Most of the clients prefer to deal straight with me and my present in anything will ease the problem. They will give and pick problems for my colleagues. I just want to leave and how to open my mouth. There is no free lance or part time for my position. Once taken up, have to run everything.
if you are indispensable to your boss, then you have the upper hand.san76:
Now my worry is how to open my mouth to tell my boss. what will happen to all my clients.
negotiate for a lighter workload, flexi-work hours, part time etc etc.
i used to be somewhat in your position...what will happen to my accounts/projects if I am gone, especially those I worked from scratch? that's why part timing may be an option; it frees you up from future commitments and gives you time to finish off (or proper handover) what you are currently handling. -
san76:
There is no free lance or part time for my position. Once taken up, have to run everything.
You mean run everything alone? The person running the show does not need any backup support stuff?
Sometimes, we have to 'downgrade' to fit into the part time/free lance position.
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login