Childcare or no Childcare?

[Sefina]

Mine maid from indonesia, even malay she also cannot understand :?:

[purplecurlz]

Hi all...


im glad i cam across this thread! All if not most of the posts relates to what im thinking of right now.

My son is a lovely bubbly 14mth old! We are thinking of placing him on full day child care when he turns 18mths.

Both hb and I are working so thats why full time child care is our option.
Since he was 3mths, we placed him in the care of my aunt and im grateful that i have a trusted family member that takes care of him.
In fact both my aunt and uncle love him so much that if they dont see him over a few days, will ask for extended hours.

However as much as i felt that his basic cares are taken care of, i feel that my aunt is not equipped to handle his development aspects.
I noe this for a fact: when she is at home with him, most of the time he will be in his crib. i have send over books for her to play and read with him and she didnt ask for new books and some of the books were torn by my son! My hb and i have had 'feedback' sessions with them and they are very happy with him. But i keep telling them don make their adoration for him and excuse to continue wanting to take care of him.

I guess thats the reason that i have decided to place him in full day as i feel that if he were to be shuttled between pre school, my aunts place and our place...it will be confusing for him.

Anyone in a similar boat ? Any experienced mummies can offer advice?

[sunny]

purplecurlz:

Hi all...


im glad i cam across this thread! All if not most of the posts relates to what im thinking of right now.

My son is a lovely bubbly 14mth old! We are thinking of placing him on full day child care when he turns 18mths.

Both hb and I are working so thats why full time child care is our option.
Since he was 3mths, we placed him in the care of my aunt and im grateful that i have a trusted family member that takes care of him.
In fact both my aunt and uncle love him so much that if they dont see him over a few days, will ask for extended hours.

However as much as i felt that his basic cares are taken care of, i feel that my aunt is not equipped to handle his development aspects.
I noe this for a fact: when she is at home with him, most of the time he will be in his crib. i have send over books for her to play and read with him and she didnt ask for new books and some of the books were torn by my son! My hb and i have had 'feedback' sessions with them and they are very happy with him. But i keep telling them don make their adoration for him and excuse to continue wanting to take care of him.

I guess thats the reason that i have decided to place him in full day as i feel that if he were to be shuttled between pre school, my aunts place and our place...it will be confusing for him.

Anyone in a similar boat ? Any experienced mummies can offer advice?

hi purplecurlz
i guess if you have a reliable caretaker, you can send your boy to 1.5 or 2 hr playgroup 1st. for me, unless my caretaker is unable to take care of the kids anymore, then i will look for childcare centre option. else, i would prefer to let the kids attend few hours classes.

[mintcc]

hi purplecurlz, my boy use to be taken care of by Mil and maid till he is about one. I too feel that sometimes most older folks are not very equipped for dealing with the child’s development.


Personally, I don’t think it will be confusing for the child to go between your aunt’s place and childcare. but I tink you can rip more benefits from full day childcare in terms of training the child’s independence- learn eating by themselves, wearing shoes and changing by themselves.

Some of my friends put their kids in full day childcare but a trusted relative will fetch them at about 4pm or so. May be you can get a preschool near your aunts place?

[foreverj]

my 3 yr plus daughter has been in cc for 1.5yrs. til now, she stil fall sick abt once a month but everytime she's down, it can be as long as 1week. sigh, sometimes really feel like taking her out to change to kindy but its not like if she goes to kindy she wont fall sick. the thing is if she goes to kindy, i can't work. right now i work half day n has flexibility to take leave as and when she is sick (cos i m a temp staff) n needs my care n attention.


academia wise, i m quite ok with the current cc. n they have done a great job in terms of independence (such as can feed herself very well, toilet-trained etc). i know she loves her school and her friends too. the teachers r also loving n caring. but the falling sick is really getting to me :stupid: alth have to accept this as part n parcel of cc.

everytime she's suffering from illness (so heart ache!), i feel compelled to switch her to kindy n stay home to care for her. either that, or home-school her completely. i believe its possible alth it'll be a lot of work for me any ideas anyone?

[magg]

[Editor's note: Topic selected for http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/benefits-childcare-services.]


Dear all anxious mums new to CCCs

I feel a compelling need to share this with the mums who have caregivers that are maids, relatives, in-laws and have not yet exposed the kids to CCCs. This is a personal experience in which I hope others will not have to make the same mistake as I did.

My first born is taken care by close relatives who took care of my husband. We enjoyed the convenience of them staying next block and had total ease of mind. The good thing about family members as caregivers are that you need not worry at all as your baby will be super well taken care. I need not worry if he has enough to eat, I need not worry if the food is nutritious, or he has enough toys to play or if he gets enough sleep. All physcial needs are being addressed (sometimes overdone in my own opinion, but hey, they are the ones taking care so I should be glad).

The first signs of trouble started when my boy reached 18 months. Being a 'little' Kiasu. I wanted to put him in full day care to expose him to social skill, life skills, some academic stuff etc. Strong objections from caregivers were raised. So strong that my husband and I relented and put him in a 2 hour church kindergarten instead. So 'win-win' situation from both sides. I get the kid to study and mix with other kids, the caregivers get to spend time with him. So my boy spent his N1 days there. Through consistent interaction and conversation stimulation by the caregivers, my boy grew to be very conversant and even teachers commented that he spoke like a little adult.

Then the real trouble started. It was during the teacher-parent session in Nov last year (end of N1) that I found out by accident that the caregivers had requested for my child to be put in another class due to some misunderstanding the caregivers had with the teacher. (the caregivers are the ones who bring my boy to school and wait there everyday) The caregivers have engaged in an ugly brawl with the school and has been using the parents' name to demand certain 'rules' and 'requests'. I realised things were not working out. My boy was asked everyday by the caregivers (out of pure concern and love) if other kids bullied him, if the teacher gave him enough food or scolded him etc. Although I have absolute faith in the school, I realised that it is not working out as the home environment was not right and conducive for academic and character development. It was ok to play whole day, mess up the house and not keep the toys, complain about the teachers, not pay attention in school but concentrate on who is bullying who in school etc.

Then I started to pay more attention to the type of education my boy is receiving. Then I started to panic, especially after some research on how kids are expected to learn grammar, spelling, sentence construction etc. (Thank heavens that I found this forum!!!) And my N2 boy cannot even count properly from 1 to 10.

I sent him to a full day CCC, at the expense of the harmonious relationship with the caregivers. And they keep telling me how no one else can love the kids that are not their own like they do. And teachers in full day centres would not have the patience for kids for the whole day and the kids are better off at home. And that they could teach him the ABCs and count the 123s. I gave them 2 months to prove. And they failed miserly at the tasks for the reasons that my son is too tired to learn, he is not well, he was distracted by tv and after tv was bedtime etc etc. There was 101 reasons why it was ok not knowing ABCs and being aboe to count from 1 to 10.

The results I gains from the full day care was enormous. By the 3rd week, he could take off and wear his own pants, go to the toilet independently, wash his own hands, brush his own teeth, converse in Mandarin (I've been trying to get him to converse with me in Mandarin as we are from an English speaking family). All these were unheard off when he was at the caregivers. He was totally dependent. It took him only 3 weeks to learn such life skills! I realised that the kids learn things very fast and people are right to compare kids to a sponge that are consistently absorbing and learning from their environment.

Regardless of how much love the caregivers can provide, nothing beats the trained or experienced teachers in providing the envrionment where kids are taught to be independent and be able to meet their basic needs themselves, and also an environment of learning and sharing.

The kids of today are expected to know so much in primary school, so foundation starts in pre-school. I thought I still had time and nursery is just for playing. I just visited a PCF today to enquire about their curriculum. The N2 kids there have started to recognise simple words for english and mandarin. The teacher mentioned that the kids would be able to recognise 30 simple Mandarin words by now. My boy has difficulty recognising alphabets due to weak foundation in N1. He is only introduced to strokes in Mandarin characters after I put in full day care. So he is far off now as compared to the PCF kids. I started late. I thought I had time. How very wrong. Now playing catch up... but slowly cos I also do not want to stress him out.

Now, we have dinner at the caregiver's house every evening cos the they miss him so much. We have to keep reminding them that it is for my boy's good that he is spending time in the CCC. Showing to them the things that he has learnt and benefited.

So if your heart is aching to take your child away from loved ones to place in CCC, think of the long term benefits that the child will reap especially from a strong academic foundation which even some parents ourselves are unable to provide (like me). The foundation will go a long way (and the consequences of not having the foundation will too!) Balance can be achieved by letting the child spend evenings, weekends with loved ones, and choosing a good childcare centre.

Now I know I am not alone in terms of plight. Please seriously consider giving your child the opportunity to be immersed in CCC cultures and learning environment. It WILL be much more than grandparents, care givers can provide...

[jedamum]

magg:

Regardless of how much love the caregivers can provide, nothing beats the trained or experienced teachers in providing the envrionment where kids are taught to be independent and be able to meet their basic needs themselves, and also an environment of learning and sharing.

Although I disagree on the above on a general basis....

magg:

Now I know I am not alone in terms of plight. Please seriously consider giving your child the opportunity to be immersed in CCC cultures and learning environment. It WILL be much more than grandparents, care givers can provide...

....I will certainly agree with magg that CCC offers a better options if the caregivers are not able to handle the kid's learning (physically, emotionally, intellectually) and that the parents find it hard to intervene (be it discipline wise or what) as the caregivers in such case spent more time with the kids.

[jedamum]

foreverj:

academia wise, i m quite ok with the current cc. n they have done a great job in terms of independence (such as can feed herself very well, toilet-trained etc). i know she loves her school and her friends too. the teachers r also loving n caring. but the falling sick is really getting to me :stupid: alth have to accept this as part n parcel of cc.

stick to the cc.
when my boy first started 3hr nursery, we visited the doctor every month.
it took him 1 year plus before his system gets matured and the doctor visits get lesser.

[foreverj]

hi jedamum


thanks for the advice. anyway wil be monitoring may and jun to see how she is. i agree with magg the benefits of cc (must be good one of course) and i can see the benefits myself. my daughter is talkative, and remains curious and inquisitive of the envt around her. when she first started cc, she does not even seem to b able to understand chinese. after six months of half-day cc, she could understand. within 2 months of switching to full-day, she could reply me in mandarin when i speak to her in mandarin! for toilet-training, i didn't even have to do much. all credit to the teachers!

she has actually stabilised in terms of falling sick mid of last year. just this year the whole family kena this bacteria sickness n she was put on antobiotics so immunity weakened. must re-build all over again. so very sian

[doratheexplorer]

Hi since you are all talking abt cc education i would like to ask ur opinions cc vs home shooling. currently my kids are in n1 and k1 halfday programme in a childcare centre. I am a housewife and trained in early childhood education too. was wondering if i should teach my kids (esp my son in k1 coz he will soon be going p1) at home and for additional perks just send them for enrichment classes e.g phonics and mental maths. what are the pros and cons. if i take my son out of sch and teach him at home, will there be any problem when he enrols for P1. pse advice thank u all