In-law problems?
-
straffan23:
poor you... then, did u spend lesser time with your baby? why don't you voice out? does your hubby know that you are unhappy with your MIL?
Then the mother started to feel insecure, too. So by the time I was 6 months pregnant she announced that she will retire and take care of my baby. Of course nobody wanted my opinion. But she only take care - I had to do everything else such as cook porridge every morning, etc. And no point saying how I like my child to be taken care of, because I am only the baby's mother - a by product of which was necessary for her grandchildren to come to this world. A lot of conflict - she would feed my daughter porridge at 10:30am while it was \"freshly cooked\" and then put the balance in the fridge; or feed her dinner at 3:30pm \"else the porridge will be bad by 5pm\".... And then there's that thing about tying my daughter with a ribbon around and around her waist because she insist that must wear cloth diaper but MIL dunno how to fasten with the pin. And then there's the nightmare of an MIL having keys to your flat and comes to your house 6 times a day \"just because she can\" and anyway, she got keys, don't need to bother you.
It's spiralled downhill since because of MIL's lack of respect, and because she wants to be the \"MIL\" - high high above. She still comes to my place 3 times a day, but refuse to acknowledge me - so I play the part of the invisible DIL, lor... No respect, no talk, no conflicts. I let my DH deal with her. I told my friends, if I do that to my DIL/SIL next time, please slap me or push me off the clift! :rahrah:
sometimes no talk also hard to endure, unless you can don't see her... :roll: -
Of course my DH knows how I feel, but he is one of those DS that feels mother is saint and almighty - there were many heated arguments over the MIL issues, mainly because she insist to be \"THE MIL\" and have a say over everything. At the lowest point, I seriously thought I was suicidal!! :yikes:
But thankfully I have survived; and luckily being a FTWM means our contact is minimum. My husband also works long hours and is naturally an introvert, so that means he seldom initiate activity. And when he does, I try to let it be my TIME OFF :siam: - go for facial, shopping, etc.
I learnt that we should never ever complain about the MIL. Mother almighty will likely to be innocent, weak, silent party... while we rattle on and on... If we don't have anything good to say, just keep quiet, \"REN\" and ignore. Ever heard of the phrase, \"Ignorance is bliss\"...
-
northernstar:
Dear Northernstar,
sigh................yes my hubby did try hard to shield me and tell them off not to \"put words in my mouth\" but end up MIL took an unmbrella wanted to bash me!! She cried loudly and said she wanted to teach me a good lesson for \"changing her son\" !! crazy isnt? MIL and SILs they always imagine me to be \"evil\". I knew she is crazy but to this extent, is more than i can stomach already.
same lah........mine also knew what i do not like yet worse purposely do it to spite me. They once a while will poke me and see how i will react. But at last no more tearful days liao, since i cut off with them at the expense of my girl now three years old, she only know one granny -- her maternal granny. But i have no regrets at all. What's th point having these ppl in my life, when their main purpose of together as \"family\" is only wanted to make sure and see that i unhappy. Nowadays, only my hubby interact with them in all occasions even CNY. I am happy to be at home with girl..PEACE.... -
straffan23:
You really have my respect. If i were to see my baby have a ribbon over her waist thing...... and feeding, gosh, i cant REN. Yes, everything i can endure even the trying to beat me with umbrella (several months afte the incident, i still forgive her then went back for dinner)... Sorry if it is on my baby's issue , i cannot REN.Of course my DH knows how I feel, but he is one of those DS that feels mother is saint and almighty - there were many heated arguments over the MIL issues, mainly because she insist to be \"THE MIL\" and have a say over everything. At the lowest point, I seriously thought I was suicidal!! :yikes:
But thankfully I have survived; and luckily being a FTWM means our contact is minimum. My husband also works long hours and is naturally an introvert, so that means he seldom initiate activity. And when he does, I try to let it be my TIME OFF :siam: - go for facial, shopping, etc.
I learnt that we should never ever complain about the MIL. Mother almighty will likely to be innocent, weak, silent party... while we rattle on and on... If we don't have anything good to say, just keep quiet, \"REN\" and ignore. Ever heard of the phrase, \"Ignorance is bliss\"... -
You cannot stand the ribbon? That's already the best. Threw away the ribbon came the white string (from an old bolster tie)... threw away that came some other string... then completely hide the string in her coin purse... play hide and seek and act cute summore! this is only the tie-the-baby issue. then there's ... :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:
Btw, those ribbon came from my curtains!! -
straffan23:
OMG! sigh....old folks sometimes are really difficult to understand......You cannot stand the ribbon? That's already the best. Threw away the ribbon came the white string (from an old bolster tie)... threw away that came some other string... then completely hide the string in her coin purse... play hide and seek and act cute summore! this is only the tie-the-baby issue. then there's ... :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:
Btw, those ribbon came from my curtains!!
As long as they did not verbally abused you like mine .... still can REN...
mine is not worth at all to REN coz intially i tot REN is the best way to handle their craziness, but they all get bolder and bolder....till i had enough and broke away from them. Being with them all those years , are the most unbearable part of my life so far. When i looked back, to REN them in those days were the most foolish thing i did in my life so far. I was educated and brought up to be filial and courteous, respect to elder....so i bear with all those nonsense and unhappiness they brought into my life then. I even told my hubby not to talk or quarrel with them over my issue but this only condone them to further \"bully' me.
I used to be very depressed with life then but i was lucky i was given a chance to run my own small business thus breaking away from them. I am reborn now as i am much happier now. Life has never been this light now compared during those unbearble years then.
I do not know whether are there others here that face the same tedious, unbearable relationships with their PILs as me. Be strong, because of my girl, i had chose to cut off ties with them as i do not want her to have a depressed, tearful mummy. Its hard when i had started to run my own small business but all efforts are worthwhile. -
i wonder what is worse…
having PILs who worship their daughter but treat their son as ATM or having a SIL who wants to get all the credits but not the work -
CookiesMonster:
i wonder what is worse....
having PILs who worship their daughter but treat their son as ATM or having a SIL who wants to get all the credits but not the work
i totally agreed with you. :goodpost: Yes, yes, mine is exactly what you mention. Yes, worship their daughter \"princess\" like god but treat my DH like dirt. Making him to do all the hardwork in business, earning almost the same salary with his sisters yet the two princesses earned all the credits. They relax relax go facials, sliming, shopping, overseas holidays all sponsored by the business. whereas we have to pay our daily expenses from our salary and we live a simple life. Somemore my hubby has no say in the business. The two sisters have a much greater importance and say in their family business. And they used to \"attack\" me as when they want. Initially i was confused coz one will try to be \"sweet\" to me and another will \"attack\" me. Very evil SISTER IN LAWS. To PILs , they are angel.
:mad: -
My SIL is very short tempered and irritable - she kicked MIL's friends out of the house because they were \"too noisy\"; refused to let my MIL talk to their neighbors, etc. MIL once said I was much easier to get along compared to her and this was when all hell broke lose. Suddenly she thinks I am a competition and started flaying everything that has to do with me. She is in her 40s but can say things like \"nobody loves me. then how then how? nobody loves me!\" So, I always think, this :siam: attitude is very good.... :imanangel: -
straffan23:
My SIL is very short tempered and irritable - she kicked MIL's friends out of the house because they were \"too noisy\"; refused to let my MIL talk to their neighbors, etc. MIL once said I was much easier to get along compared to her and this was when all hell broke lose. Suddenly she thinks I am a competition and started flaying everything that has to do with me. She is in her 40s but can say things like \"nobody loves me. then how then how? nobody loves me!\" So, I always think, this :siam: attitude is very good.... :imanangel:
Yes, i can understand when you say you are viewed a competition and things starts to fall apart since then right? sigh......I been through all these, all these sickening \"competitor\" things liao years back....Before married still ok, after marriage all change face liao. I even purposely do no makeup, dressed simple whenever we met and i was not supposed to talk to their relatives. I was supposed to hide alone in a dark corner when there are gatherings. Whenever, some ppl try to talk to me, they will bring them far away from me. Since day one on my wedding day, i already been treated like this in gathering. These SILs are very insecure ppl, if the same sex ppl came into their family, they feel insecure. They cannot tolerate the presence of same sex ppl, but they can get along very well with BIL. One of my SIl is single and very available, she is same like your SIL , 40 years old already, she behaves like a \"child\" especially when she talks to her father. Disgusting......ER XIN........
Lucky now see no evil , hear no evil...........
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login