Thanks ngl2010.


He could cool down when it is not too much to handle by walking away which the school allows him to.

I am concern on a number of issues as in the suspension are recorded in the report book with exaggeration of the word used is vulgarity. They can say he used inappropriate words on classmates.

ngl2010:

Baobei, is it an all boys school? Is your son in Sec 1?

Does the school and level affect the strategies to help my boy and school to work with him on name calling? He is not in Sec 1. Sec 1 was terrible where he faces lots of teasing and resulted in many meltdowns and physical reaction.

Thank you slmkhoo and phtthp for the advices given.


Yes, psychologist and therapist were brought in to talk to the school before. Counsellor is trained to handle ASD. However, we know that it is a wide spectrum and every Asperger is different. It is different how each child behaves. For Asperger, it is tougher to understand them.

Yes, each time there is an incident feedback, originally could be trivial but due to the way it is being put across that he would be suspended, he gets more fear and agitated as the information given is often not complete, the triggers that led to the incident was not given to us. This more than often results in the following few days making more mistakes in school.

School claims that they do not have the expertise and depth to help. So the therapist and education psychologist have to tell them what they could do. However, school may not agree with some suggestion or follow through. More often, they would ask for strategies to work with him as Teachers do not have time when most of the time he spent was in school. Now, it turns around and say that because we are the ones who gave him the instructions not them, he would not listen to the ones who did not give him the instructions. We have tried working with the school to work out strategies since they are not free. How could we proceed from here?

Pig is the first time that he used it. He said that in Tamil to a Chinese. Definitely, it is not a good habit and is definitely rude if said to a Muslim. He do not use such words if people are nice to him.

He took it to heart a lot when people calling names to him when he was in primary school. We taught him not to say that back as the mouth belongs to others and it does not mean that he is one when someone called that to him. It is only when he answered then he agreeds with the person. Along the conversation, we work with him on what does the word meant to him, how he feels, how he could stop it… before concluding with that.

Changing a school may not solve the problem as there would be bullies around too. We would have to work with the school again. He was being teased at first when the class gets to know of his condition.

Well, he attends social skills training classes on how to work with others, being taught of how to handle new words (to check with us).


Any other techniques that you have tried and work? I would like to give it a try. Going to more therapist would be less family time with him.

However, can someone tell me if pig is vulgarities? What could parents do if someone can call him names and yet he cannot? School is only punishing him in such cases. He did make effort not to call back or react every time.

Suspension does not work out for him as primary school has concluded that. However, when we tell the secondary school, they disagreed. He is now suffering badly academically as he is on and off being suspended from school. He does not go for tuition.

How could we work with the school when academic and counsellor are being handled separately?

We hardly use corporate punishment on him. Most of the time is to take away his favourites.

ammonite:

Name calling teachers?


Other than all that counselling, scolding etc, may I suggest you add in elements of breaking a bad habit? Basically doesn't matter how teen feels about the whole thing or his target, he just has to stay away from some words. He can rephrase or substitute, he can walk away or push fists together, he can have privileges taken away, he can have buddies who help him by having a sign or word that reminds him not to use that word etc. He will slip up a occasionally, again remind of alternatives.

Basically treat it like a bad habit. I am sure he already knows why he should not use them, and he does not agree. While you think of other ways to convince him, you can just redirect the habit of speech first.

In this case was not to the Teachers.

He will be told by me to slap himself if he calls out people stupid when being caught. This rule set in after various incidents of doing that previously in school to classmates or Teachers when he felt agitated. He would also be taken away from eating his nice food over the weekend.

ngl2010:

Baobei, is this your Asperger child? Does the school know his condition and school counsellor involved? I think suspending a child is a bit extreme.

Yes he is an Asperger child.

slmkhoo:

baobei:

Need advice on how to stop teenager from name calling. Tried discussing about how one would feel, nagging, scolding, beating.


Now, school is suspending child for name calling.

Need help on this.

This is your child, calling other people names? What kind of names? Does he do that at home? Is be being bullied at school? Does he have emotional or other upsetting issues at home, school or elsewhere?

He called someone pig in Tamil in school. He did mentioned that someone taught him to say the word few days before the incident happen. The person called him stupid.

School now says the word is vulgarities.

Need advice on how to stop teenager from name calling. Tried discussing about how one would feel, nagging, scolding, beating.


Now, school is suspending child for name calling.

Need help on this.

happyheart:

baobei:

Need help desperately! May I know if your Aspie child is in mainstream school? Which school is he/she in? Are they supportive of child learning? Mine was left alone not to do work in class. Child is loud and even louder whenever he gets high. School will call to get him home or seek to meet up each time he was triggered. Whenever he is triggered, he would be running around and school feels that he is being defiant. this is true since he did has ODD. Does the MOE psychologists help? What happens when child goes secondary? Thinking of transferring him to a school that can handle Aspie better.

Aspie kids normally do not behave unruly or get high in most circumstances. However, they are a special group whom like to socialise with people but have low ability to understand social cues. That may be viewed as anti-social. Try to understand why your child is 'left alone not to work in class', was it his choice or teacher has no way with him? I am wondering what makes you classify into either hyper or Aspie? Is there any traits and behaviours that you have identified when he is out of classroom environment? btw,How old is your boy?

He is diagnosed to have Asperger. He was left alone because of his social behaviour. He wants to explore new things being introduced (most of us will see that he is not sharing) and he may want to stand on his points at times. He is loud especially when unhappy so the way he reply one will be deemed as rude. He does exhibit the behaviours mentioned at home despite reminders and working with him on why he does those and how people sees it. He is slowly getting better after being trained. He has eye contact with people now after being taught that he needs to do that.

Anyone can share how to get Asperger’s to follow classroom rules? Classroom rules were pasted around the class but it would be broken by other means.


How do school handles students and parents complaining about interruptions that occurs in class even when they are aware of the condition of the child?

Going nuts with child not following school rules and school views that we are not teaching child to adhere.