Hi! Can I join here?


I am a PTWM with a almost 4 year-old son. Was SAHM for 3 years, only found a part-time job since late last year. I work from 9am to 1pm, 4 days a week. I leave my kid in a kindergarten when I am at work. He takes lunch there and I pick him up at 2pm to bring him back for his afternoon nap.

It sounds like an ideal arangement. Except... problems at work that arise due to the part-time arrangement, so I wondered if any of you here have encountered similar situations:

- The job started off with the agreement to let me off at 1pm (as I need to have lunch and pick up my kid at 2pm). After all, I am only paid to work 4 hours. Then, gradually, more and more workload, some coming in at 12.30pm, which is impossible to clear by 1 pm. End up me finishing at 1.45pm most of the time, having to skip lunch and reach the kindergarten late. Spoke to boss and he said, okay, the most I pay you overtime lor. But that's not the issue here.:x I NEED to leave on time!

Lately, told me there will be even more workload from mid-July onwards, as one staff is quitting and I am supposed to take over some of her work. What does that mean? I got to stay till 3pm or 4pm to clear the work??? :x I do not have parents or in-laws' help. My child is a special needs child who needs me to bring him for physiotherapy 2 afternoons a week. He is not suitable for full-day childcare because of his condition. My boss and colleagues do not understand the difficulties. If I can do overtime, I would have worked full-time, right?

- Colleagues who work full-time - any of you get sarcastic comments from them?
\"Wah, so lucky, can leave at 1pm, the rest of us got to slog til 6pm\" (excuse me, that's why your pay is 3 times mine, and you get benefits whereas I don't!).
\"Taking leave again? Kindergarten closed today? Don't know why you still bother to work. Might as well stay home and be a tai-tai lah!\" (I don't get paid for the days that I don't work. And before I started work, the agreement was that whenever the kindergarten is closed, I can't work as I am the sole care-giver of my kid. At least my boss had kept to this agreement so far.)

Anyway, I am glad for the pros of part-time work - more $$ for the family, chance to meet other people (thankfully not all my colleagues are nasty). But if the above issues are not resolved, I may have to quit and return to SAHM, or look for another part-time job.

Thanks for letting me ventilate here! :celebrate:

:thankyou:


I think that if he still can't \"fit\" into his class or interact with his peers at a later age, then I'll worry again. :roll: For now, I will just let him develop at his own pace, and look at his uniqueness in a positive way.

:celebrate:

Thank you all.


I guess my main concerns are:

1. He does not understand social norms, and also has no sense of the boundaries. Hence he really stands out from his class. Eg wandering about; refusing to sit down for desk work; walks right up to the board if the teacher is teaching something that catches his attention, and refuses to budge, blocking the view of the other children; runs around the whole school when let out of the classroom; climbs to top of tables etc . Both I and the teachers have tried all sorts of discipline, but it's just like water off a duck's back. He is not even deterred by pain. Once when he fell down while running in school and got bleeding knees, he just picked himself up and continued running, with me and some teachers chasing and shouting behind him! :!:

2. He is so inattentive in class during group teaching. The teachers also find that he learns best when he gets 1:1 attention. They will try to do that with him if there is time at the end of the lesson. If not, they will give me the materials/worksheets and ask me to teach him at home. He learns very fast if there is 1 to 1 teaching and if his attention is engaged. But I feel he has to get used to learning during group teaching as the teachers cannot always put time aside for him, and I can't always be revising every single lesson with him.

But I am just hoping that he is still so young, that he will get better with time (like Muffins ). At least, he doesn't seem to be rude, or disrespectful, just ... nonchalant and blur.

I was very worried as he seems to be so different from the rest of his classmates, who are so \"well-behaved\". But I am now so heartened that the parents here share some similar stories. Look at the wonders that you parents have done with your kids, especially Tamarind (I am a fan of your blog). Maybe I won't worry so much anymore, just put more energy into helping my child along.

:celebrate:

Thank you to all of you with your tips and advice.


I am still not sure of how to help my boy. My 3.5 year old boy, after being at his preschool for the past 2+ months, is still behaving so differently from the rest. Not paying attention in class, wandering about (it's so obvious that when I pick him up, other parents ask me why he is like that :oops: ), no eye contact, no interaction with his classmates, somehow, he knows the names of almost all the teachers in his school, but not a single name of his classmates. He doesn't disturb people, is not disruptive, just wants to go into a corner by himself to read a book or explore a cupboard when everyone else is having lessons (okay, maybe that's disruptive for the teacher). He seems totally unconcerned when the teacher chides him, or when his classmates poke fun at him. Today I saw a classmate try to trip him as he was roaming about, luckily the teacher saw it and told the boy to leave my child alone. I'm just worried that as he gets older, he may become more affected by his peers' reactions to him

I've spoken to the principal who thinks that he is likely to be a special needs child, but that they would like to observe him further before they recommend a referral. She has also noticed that he is a fast learner and hence it's possible that he is just easily bored with classroom routines.

I thought of bringing him to see a paediatrician but my hubby is against this, or any intervention. He says that I worry too much, that there is nothing wrong with being a non-conformist, that we should just leave things alone.

Sigh, maybe guys don't realise the repercussions of odd behaviour in our society... or maybe I am worrying too much.

Anyway, I think I will await the school's principal's and teacher's assessment as to whether any referral is required, for now.

Thanks again, and any further feedback is appreciated.

Thanks 2ppaamm, for replying to my old, old post!


Can I ask you and anyone else with experience, is it too early to diagnose a child as Asperger’s syndrome at the age of 3-4years old? Will the tests be accurate if conducted at this age? Eg if a lot of Q&A is required, how can a young child focus long enough to answer all of it properly?

Thanks.

:thankyou:

Hi mandarin. Can you share if MPM is good for preschoolers? My child is in N2.


Also, which instructors at the Parkway Building are better for young children?

Thanks

:thankyou:

Thanks sleepy.


No problems getting her to sit down and do the Kumon worksheets at that age? And need to know how to write first?

Hi sleepy. May I know when you started your kid on Kumon?


And where have you put your kid in now? I also believe that studying in depth is important.