jetsetter:

teaberry:

Are you trying to say it will be more worthwhile to be a SAHM to nurture our kids if we have sons instead of daughters?
DS can be \"unreliable\" too, if they are henpecked!

Whether you are a top-brained female or not, choosing to be SAHM is by personal choice. Not even your husband can interfere, let alone the gahman. You make the call when you deem fit. Some moms prefer to work and look after the family and kids and can be just as successful in being an effective spouse and parent and nurture well accomplished children.
[color=#0000FF]Agreed. Good on you. Do be prepared to react positively when your 35-yo dd who's graduated from a top university and holds a $160k pa job comes back to tell you, the 60+ yo: \"Mom, I'm quitting my high-flying job as a professional or senior executive to homeschool your grandkids. It's my way of contributing back to my country that'd subsidized my education all these years. My kids are more impt than anyone else in the world. I can put my talent to better use.\" :love:

Please do not put words into my DD's mouth of what she may say or think on how she can contribute to the country in the future. You are no God to know that.
:rotflmao: Me? :slapshead:
Erhm, you do know what's \"hypothetically speaking\" and \"scenario planning\" huh? But since you're so convicted, so live with it. I did qualify it's one's personal choice and there's no right or wrong, yah?

Let's put it this way. Kindly save yourself the heartache of worrying how other people's children will turn out because they have SAHM as moms when you have enough to worry about how your child will be in future as a result of the choice you have made today.
Wow. You must be mistaken. I don't think you're worth my headache...seriously. :roll: I'm looking at the workforce from a macro perspective, and broadly commenting on the grander scheme of things, if you know what I mean, i.e. when you're in a less defensive state of mind? Btw, I did mention you have a \"great and noble perspective\", yah?

The problem is, people deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong.

Everyone has a choice of what they want to do with his life. Each has his own calling.

The important thing is we learn to be responsible for the quality of the life path we have chosen and be at peace with ourselves.
Excuse me, I did say \"Good on you\", right? :scratchhead: So stick to your calling lor...just ensure at the end of the day, in 30 years' time, you're happy you've made the right choice.

[/quote]

Yo....now you sound pissed. It was never my intention to aggravate this discussion. :slapshead:

However, right from beginning, I must say I can't help noticing your conflicting styles in your verbal behaviour. You should know exactly what I mean or perhaps you are not aware of it. Say something nice and then push those hot buttons. Sincerity in question.

With this writing style laced with hostile humour, it is no wonder people will react instead of respond.

This discussion with you is not worth my attention and heartache too and I shall end it here. Let's forgive and forget if we have stepped on each other's toes.
We have more important things to do on hand, being SAHM or FTWM.

Insults should be written in sand, compliments carved in stone.

jetsetter:

teaberry:

Are you trying to say it will be more worthwhile to be a SAHM to nurture our kids if we have sons instead of daughters?
DS can be \"unreliable\" too, if they are henpecked!

Whether you are a top-brained female or not, choosing to be SAHM is by personal choice. Not even your husband can interfere, let alone the gahman. You make the call when you deem fit. Some moms prefer to work and look after the family and kids and can be just as successful in being an effective spouse and parent and nurture well accomplished children.
Agreed. Good on you. Do be prepared to react positively when your 35-yo dd who's graduated from a top university and holds a $160k pa job comes back to tell you, the 60+ yo: \"Mom, I'm quitting my high-flying job as a professional or senior executive to homeschool your grandkids. It's my way of contributing back to my country that'd subsidized my education all these years. My kids are more impt than anyone else in the world. I can put my talent to better use.\" :love: :grphug:

At the end of the day, it's one's personal choice...no right/wrong. You answer tomorrow for your own actions today.

Please do not put words into my DD's mouth of what she may say or think on how she can contribute to the country in the future. You are no God to know that.

Let's put it this way. Kindly save yourself the heartache of worrying how other people's children will turn out because they have SAHM as moms when you have enough to worry about how your child will be in future as a result of the choice you have made today.

The problem is, people deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong.

Everyone has a choice of what they want to do with his life. Each has his own calling.

The important thing is we learn to be responsible for the quality of the life path we have chosen and be at peace with ourselves.

neineipoopoo:

Dear SAHM

It is your personal choice to stay at home to look after your precious kids. Why should the govt use the tax payers' money to give you anything? Entitlement mentality again!
It is your personal choice, so please take full responsibility for it. The rest of the FTWM don't owe you anything. You are the one who perceived that you are the best in looking after your kids, the govt and the rest of citizens didn't endorse that.

What an ungracious and demeaning thing to say.

You make it sound as if all SAHMs are hankering after gahment's handouts at the expense of taxpayers' hard earned money because they work and we SAHMs don't. You are indicating that since you don't work and do not contribute to society and the country's growth in any way, 有钱分，你没份。

Don't put words into the gahment's mouth. In the first place, the garment may not be conveying that message to the nation because they have better grace and tact. Even if it is so, I am appalled that it takes someone like you to spell it out in black and white here. :roll:

To begin with, I have never expected any payouts from the gahment since I do not work. My husband can receive the benefits since he is part of the workforce and tax reductions and rebates are a welcome to him. Anything the gahment gives be it big or small, we accept it with grace and thankfulness. Being a SAHM mom, I do not owe anyone anything. Neither do you, FTWM to me. The only person I owe to, is my husband who feed and cloth me. If I need any endorsement for my hardwork and contributions to the family, it will be from my own husband.

So do not feel so 'shortchanged' by the SAHMs. Respect their choice. At least, you look better with your feathers unruffled.

jetsetter:

teaberry:

I managed to nurture and groom my 3 kids to excel academically, clinching scholarships and awards. We did not spend a single cent on tuition classes throughout their learning journeys. If it is not all thanks to my government-subsidized education, my kids won't be where they are today.


So the gahmen should not discredit we SAHMs. We are doing a far more noble job that is unpaid to nurture, mould and groom young Singaporeans with grounded values and well-rounded education so they can better contribute and serve the country in the future.

Think from a different perspective. We simply 'work' from home.

Great and noble perspective there...Any dds you have?

Say your dd is making >$160k p.a., thanks to your tireless and hands-on nurturing from home, would she in the future wanna stay at home to nurture and groom your future grandkids so that they too may excel academically, clinch scholarships and awards, without spending a cent on tuition classes throughout their learning journey? Not sure if there'd still be govt-subsidized education when it's their turn to enter the workforce.

Nothing personal or sexist so dun flame me hor...Just wondering aloud from my armchair...current gahmen's been subsidizing this and that for our education over the past decades, only to realise they are grooming a sizeable group of top female brains (top 5% income earners, or okay la, maybe top 15% to be more realistic) who are voluntarily choosing to personally nurture the next generation of top female brains who may in turn quit the workforce to personally nurture the next next generation of top talent...

Are we losing our competitive edge as a global talent hub due to severe brain drain, in the name of a well-rounded education for our beloved dc?


The great SAHM conundrum...

Are you trying to say it will be more worthwhile to be a SAHM to nurture our kids if we have sons instead of daughters?

Whether you are a top-brained female or not, choosing to be SAHM is by personal choice. Not even your husband can interfere, let alone the gahman. You make the call when you deem fit. Some moms prefer to work and look after the family and kids and can be just as successful in being an effective spouse and parent and nurture well accomplished children.

Whether my DD choose to work or be a SAHM in future is also entirely up to her. She will use wisdom to work things out according to her needs and agenda. It is about making the right investments in life that really count.

I am no high-brained female for your information. I am simply grateful for the little government-subsidized education that I have, enough to nurture and groom my kids to give them a well-rounded education.

And I am a firm believer in the fundamental institution of the family as a foundation for individuals and society. Hence I set to 'work' from home.

sleepy:

pirate:

[quote=\"MMM\"]If you hear the speech, it appear that those earning S$160K & above per annum is considered as top 5%. But of course the top 5% is a super wide range.

If one takes into account 13th month pay or only 1 month bonus, the conclusion is that $160k/13 = $12,307.69 monthly will put you in the top 5% income earner. :evil:

$160K referring to chargeable income? ie. after deducting reliefs
Or $160K gross income?[/quote]Should be individual chargeable income.

Based on 2014 tax rate, annual chargeable income at first $160,000 is taxed at $13,950. Subsequent amount will be at 17%. Think the increase in percentage point should be less than 2%.

However, the budget report mentioned that the highest tax percentage of 20% will be raised by 2 percentage point to 22% for chargeable income above $320,000. Currently, your tax figure for first $320,000 chargeable income is $42,350. Next higher income will now be charged at 22% effective 2016.

slmkhoo:

pirate:

[quote=\"sleepy\"]So can confirm now? The message from gahmen is SAHMs should quit being SAHMs and should return to work so that they can generate tax revenue for the country too

Har?! :yikes: Now then you know meh?

I thought it would have been quite clear from all the incentives/goodies to outsource raising the kids. Gov thinks that mother looking after kids herself is a luxury. You don't know that it is now all about raising productivity meh? 1 mother to 1 or 2 kids, so unproductive compared to 2 childcare teachers to 10 kids.

It's always been the message - SAHM's are not pulling their weight in society, not economically active, not making use of their (government-subsidised) education, causing employers to have to bring in foreign labour... we also deprive the nation of income tax revenue, foreign maid levy, GST (because we spend less) etc. So now we are supposed to return to the workforce and bring another woman (also foreign, by the way!) into our homes to care for our kids and elderly. I am inured to it now and ignore all those messages. I know that my family would be much better off financially if I returned to \"proper\" full-time work, but we all prefer to live more simply (we are around the median household income) and have me at home more. No-one can really quantify the costs and benefits of having me at home in non-dollar terms. What I would like to see is more employers to get their heads round the fact that they should make use of a few part-timers and freelancers like me instead of expecting just 1 person to sit in their office 5 days a week. I don't see that they will lose out in terms of getting work done, and they won't need to pay us CPF or rent larger premises! Why bemoan the tight labour market if they can make use of freelancers?[/quote]slmkhoo :goodpost:

And it's not true that our government-subsidized education that we had was all in vain, at least not for me. I managed to nurture and groom my 3 kids to excel academically, clinching scholarships and awards. We did not spend a single cent on tuition classes throughout their learning journeys. If it is not all thanks to my government-subsidized education, my kids won't be where they are today.

So the gahmen should not discredit we SAHMs. We are doing a far more noble job that is unpaid to nurture, mould and groom young Singaporeans with grounded values and well-rounded education so they can better contribute and serve the country in the future.

Think from a different perspective. We simply 'work' from home.

jetsetter:

pirated:

[quote=\"GiftedGem\"]
:evil: Why... u celebrities..
Calling someone siao? Very notti you... and mean too. Deserved spanking.

Gifted, please go back read the original post by book worm

If he/she omit the last word from last line of last para, then no Xiao.

Who is the judge here ?

no la no la...GG, u missed out pirated's context...I agree with pirated. mustn't judge...doesn't mean u r an artiste or ex-cancer patient means ur kid cannot become Gepper or IPper... Just pay $ attend tuition and jaga closely and not let kid stray or lose focus/interest/motivation...some artistes married graduates like ZT, HBR, etc...or maybe they themselves were bright students, but due to vanity and hunger for fame or family conditions, they stopped schooling and joined Mediacorp to earn a living...[/quote]Err....don't know about HBR, but ZT went to the same neighbourhood secondary school as my hubby. Her grades were :oops: but thank goodness she had other talents.

lee_yl:

dimsum:

Mark Lee was MC for a concert.
Zoe Tay's hubby was a photographer.
Alot of activities they can do, no need special skills.

They all need to clock min 80 hours of PV?

Still.....being PV, at least in NYPS, does not mean your child will be assured of a place in the school.

My sister and her hubby both became PV for NYPS when their child was 5 years old. One teaches at a JC and the other is a plant scientist and teaches at NTU. Both hold PhD degrees. Her hubby helped out with the Eco garden, contributing in any way he could with his Bio knowledge.

In the end NYPS did not give any placement to their kid and he settle down in a neighbourhood school. So having a celebrity background supercede academic capability and credentials???

When my sister decided to quit her job as she did not want a maid to look after her kid anymore, the P from her JC suggested that she taught half day instead of full time and she even offered to get my sister's kid transferred to any primary school that they like.

Śpeak volumes about back door work and influence.

Yew Tee Primary - top score 268

Burn-outs?


Let’s face it. In everything we do, do it with moderation. We don’t want an ‘overkill’ or ‘overdose’. That will defeat the purpose of the things you have set your heart to do and your end results can be devastating.

Seriously, the PSLE is NOT a big deal but parents tend to regard it as the epitome of all exams. It is one of the major exams but how major can it get? We see parents breathe down their children’s necks and make them mug hard for it. Half the time, they are clueless about the school syllables and what their kids are struggling with. Strangely, when the kids eventually get to secondary and college, they wash their hands off them and become totally clueless about what they learn in school and what grades they are getting. The kids are left to their own devices unlike in primary school. Reason being, there should be no more handholding after primary school and the kids should learn self discipline and be captain of their own ships. What a stark contrast!

The way I feel, parents place too much emphasis on the PSLE. Good grades and performance in exams come from consistent hard work and practice. It’s a daily thing. You don’t cram all the six years of learning on the final year just to make it for the PSLE. Every child has his or own strengths and weaknesses. What’s wise is to build on the strength and work on the weaknesses. To be ready for the exams is to consistently address the issues of learning difficulties throughout time, that will leave no chance for burn-outs.

One cannot have too much on one’s plate. Take it in good stead and with a positive attitude. Study hard, yes, but with the right frame of mind. Strive to outperform yourself, not others. Set realistic goals and do not be greedy or over ambitious. Do it within your means and capabilities, and you will not be stressed or burned out. Students should aim for schools that fit them and that they will be happy studying in, not schools that are deemed top and prestigious or just to make their parents happy. Your ‘dream school’ may probably not be ideal for you, so be discerning. Not getting into a school that fits you is akin to wearing someone else’s clothes.

From how I have observed, students and parents who are stressed over the PSLE are those who want bigger hats to fit their small heads. Get real. A forummer once shared this proverb, cut your cloth according to your clothes. Be realistic and be confident of your own capabilities. If you have been a consistent student, just be yourself and do your thing in the PSLE. You can happily breeze through it without mishap. So, I hope parents here do not stress yourselves and your children and do more than what’s necessary. Take time to smell the roses. Life is more than exams and grades. I know of a bright child who wanted a perfect score for his PSLE Mathematics only to discover that he had blundered a 5-marks-question later. He was devastated and shut himself up in his room the whole day after the exam was over. This episode shook and woke the mother up and she felt that the PSLE was NOTHING compared to the sanity and happiness of her child.

I have also known of parents suffering from burnouts, lasting as long as two years after their children’s PSLE, only to realise they have no more energy left for their remaining children when it’s their turns to take the PSLEs.

So, exercise wisdom and put moderation in everything you do. Learn to adjust and temper the management of yourself and your children. Embrace non-competitiveness and honesty. You’ll breathe easier and that’s how you preserve your sanity.