Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

[tankee]

He is seriously in need of anger management.


It is not right of him to vent his anger on you.

[hihimummy]

yeah... really wish I can run far far away from him and never have to see him again...

[3Boys]

sleepylula:

Hi all,


I come from a broken family. My parent divorced when I was 5yrs old.

I often heard or read abt how couple should try to stay in marriage or salvage their marriage for the sake of their children. I have 2 kids age 7 and 4. And I am thinking of \"D\".

My case is my husband travels very often. So often that now i got used to being alone with the kids. When he's home I find that I have to re-adjust my life again and when he travels i have to be go back to my \"macho-one-woman-show\" life.

A part from that, recently i found that I have problem communicating wt him. He has become very MCP. Little little things i have to ask him and justify my case to him before he agrees. For e.g, little things like getting a new curtain. He preferred those black out type cos he too used to staying in hotels. I preferred easy maintainance. Cos I am those lazy type that will not deligently take down the curtain and bring it for laundry services. And after a week or two go back for collection. So I have to reason with him before he gives in. Talking to him becomes very tiring.

The fact that I am the one managing the housewhole yet I have to justify and convince him why I prefer this and that and so on. Imagine if I got those black out curtains, so who will be the one travelling to and fro the laudry service when he's always not at home???!!

As I come from a broken family, i seriously do not know what are the negative impacts that will cause to the children. One thing for sure, I always find that I am more independent and mature than my peers during my growing up time.

Any advice?

Seems a trivial reason to look for a divorce. Deny your kids a father on the basis of black-out curtains?

[hihimummy]

lovekidsverymuch:

hihimummy:

yeah... really wish I can run far far away from him and never have to see him again...

hihimummy dont get disheartened can you ask him to see some doctor? please dont take any rash decisions....

I don't think he will... we hv been to conselling before... but he claim he is a better consellor than both the consellors we saw and did not want to go again...

[jogan]

there is always a believe that history will repeat itself like whatever your parents have gone through, you will experience it.


I DO NOT believe that. My believes are dont let it happen so that we can break the curse. Would we like our children to face the same problem? If no, then dont let it happen. Let us be the model to get it right. Children learn from parents. I guess every couples will face the same issue... that is lack of communication.

My believes again.... Lack of communication will break the relationship. I have ever gone through the life of frustration and there we go without much 'catch up' with each other. Seriously talk and share your feeling like how we had ever have 'courtship' before.

Hope that helps!

[csc]

hihimummy:

yeah... really wish I can run far far away from him and never have to see him again...

It must be real hard on you...

Can't comment much cos I don't know the full situation but

do stay strong for your child's sake.

Your worth and value is not determined by what others say - remember

those who love and care for you. Stay positive. It may be good to speak to someone who care enough to listen.

[tankee]

insider:

This one sounds like one of my girlfriends' husband...

She is well educated (graduated from Switzerland). Very pretty. She married her childhood sweetheart.

But her husband has very bad temper and can spout all kinds of vulgar words in all kinds of dialect EVERYWHERE as and when he feels like it. She shared with me her sorrows and her thought of divorce but again, she is holding back for her son (now is about 8 years old). She is a very refined lady (looks like a movie star with high cheek bones, pearl like skin, etc) and her husband is an ultra rich man. ......

what did she see in him ? :?

[ezmum]

爱情是盲目的.

[autumnbronze]

tankee:

insider:

This one sounds like one of my girlfriends' husband...

She is well educated (graduated from Switzerland). Very pretty. She married her childhood sweetheart.

But her husband has very bad temper and can spout all kinds of vulgar words in all kinds of dialect EVERYWHERE as and when he feels like it. She shared with me her sorrows and her thought of divorce but again, she is holding back for her son (now is about 8 years old). She is a very refined lady (looks like a movie star with high cheek bones, pearl like skin, etc) and her husband is an ultra rich man. ......

what did she see in him ? :?

Sometimes such characteristics may not be so evident (under control) because he may be trying to maintain a Mr Nice Guy facade to impress the other party.

[autumnbronze]

csc:

hihimummy:

yeah... really wish I can run far far away from him and never have to see him again...

It must be real hard on you...

Can't comment much cos I don't know the full situation but

do stay strong for your child's sake.

Your worth and value is not determined by what others say - remember

those who love and care for you. Stay positive. It may be good to speak to someone who care enough to listen.

hihimummy,

I feel for you after reading your post and yes, I second csc.

I feel that verbal abuse is 10 000 times more worse than being physically abused. Because in the latter, you can walk out .... the 'limits' have been considered as 'overstepped', if you know what I mean.

:hugs: to you

ps: Is this behaviour of his inherent or has it been precipitated by some other factors ie work stress etc ....