Different religion
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MLR:
I am a buddist too ....did not have religion differences during dating as spouse was a free thinker then ...Hiya pinky
Me Buddhist, DH Anglican.
Interestingly, DH didn't went church for like 15 yrs(since college). When we got married and he was out of job the same month, he hit the lowest point of his life. He was very fustrated, cos couldn't find a suitable job. At that time, I told him that sometimes you need more than love ones to support you, I think you need spiritual guidance and encouraged him to go back to church.
He told me that he hasn't been to church for the past 15 yrs and wondered if the church would collasped when he step in. Told him that his God would forgive him if he sincerely pray to him and asked for guidance. He did started going to church and after a few months things got better, found a job, we settled into marriage life.
2 yrs ago, we decide to baptise DS, guess what? The church didn't agree to our choice of godparents, cos they and me are not members of the church, The priest asked DH to ask for forgiveness and repent cos he married a non-believer. Well, what I said was that if the church couldn't accept me, so be it. I was pretty crossed, cos I was the one who got DH going back to his faith and yet the church is against me. I then started DS to go for church service with DH. And after 2 yrs later, just b4 DS 2nd birthday, he was baptised. He started going for Sunday classes and Sunday is my offday.
To me its about acceptance. You hv to accept him and his religion, when you married him, you marry his everything.
So I don't 'DEAL\" with it, I accept it. Furthermore, when you first went \"steady\" with him, isn't religion an important factor of consideration when you accept his proposal/marriage?
Just my personal experience and views.....
But recently spouse decide that he wants to be Christian....
I am suprise that for a Christian to marry a non-believer is a 'Sin'...
Why eh??? :?:
Anyway lately, I have uncomfortable thoughts of both of us sharing different religion....
If during dating we do not share the same religion I would not have marry him... :heartbroken:
Maybe I worry too much.... :?
You know like thinking next time passed away...how to handle the funeral...Buddhist or Christian....a bit of insane ..... :scratchhead: -
Actually, I feel that it depends on how staunch one is in their religion.
My auntie (staunch christian), uncle (staunch taoist).... You can imagine.. But after 20 years of marriage, think she stopped going to church but she does not go to temple. Uncle still staunch but probably not as much. He tends to keep his temple going low profile :? So the wife is like a tyrant and restrict much of his activities.
Another couple I met this year. My colleague. His wife is a staunch christian and he... I think he is a free thinker. They are in the US. When I was there this year, they drove me to the outlet. The wife commented that \"I saved him\" as he is very happy to do that than to follow her to church. Then at the end of our outing, she told me that she feels that she believe that her hubby should go to church with her as he is the head of family. She said this infront of her hubby who is my colleague.... He is a Director level and it just left me feeling wierd after that.
When I was studying in convent school, I went to church,etc... and ever thought of baptising. But mum always say... no matter what you do, do it after you get married. It's a wise advice. So both my hubby and I are free thinkers despite that he went through the saints school route for 10 years of his life. But mil is a staunch buddhist. Recently sil who is a christian and hubby a taoist is trying to get the entire family to go to her church :roll: I've reach a stage in life that I know my preference and belief and I hate people to preach to me.
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Oh yes... have a auntie whose kids have all converted to christianity.
She converted recently. Her rationale to her sibling was christian are richer :roll: Then at the same time, she is in a confusion whether to still continue to pray to my grandma in the temple.
She is probably worried about what happens after she dies???? None of her 4 kids will hold the joss stick? -
MMM:
Fully agree I hate people preaching to me too ...Actually, I feel that it depends on how staunch one is in their religion.
My auntie (staunch christian), uncle (staunch taoist).... You can imagine.. But after 20 years of marriage, think she stopped going to church but she does not go to temple. Uncle still staunch but probably not as much. He tends to keep his temple going low profile :? So the wife is like a tyrant and restrict much of his activities.
Another couple I met this year. My colleague. His wife is a staunch christian and he... I think he is a free thinker. They are in the US. When I was there this year, they drove me to the outlet. The wife commented that \"I saved him\" as he is very happy to do that than to follow her to church. Then at the end of our outing, she told me that she feels that she believe that her hubby should go to church with her as he is the head of family. She said this infront of her hubby who is my colleague.... He is a Director level and it just left me feeling wierd after that.
When I was studying in convent school, I went to church,etc... and ever thought of baptising. But mum always say... no matter what you do, do it after you get married. It's a wise advice. So both my hubby and I are free thinkers despite that he went through the saints school route for 10 years of his life. But mil is a staunch buddhist. Recently sil who is a christian and hubby a taoist is trying to get the entire family to go to her church :roll: I've reach a stage in life that I know my preference and belief and I hate people to preach to me.
But sometimes it feels very strange ....you know when the whole group of Christians prays in from of you during family gatherings... :siam: -
MMM:
A friend from North Germany, she is a Christian but what type, I cannot remember. She came to Singapore for sight seeing, went into temple, hold joss sticks too to pray. To her, its just another kind of praying, for the blessing of her family. I was surprised because I have friends, who are Christians, won't hold joss sticks in parent's funeral. So I asked this Germany friend about holding joss sticks and going into temple. She told me, all religions are good, as long as they don't do harm to others. And its a wrong teaching that Christians should not hold joss sticks, should not enter temple. The basic respect to others should be there, regardless what religion.Oh yes... have a auntie whose kids have all converted to christianity.
She converted recently. Her rationale to her sibling was christian are richer :roll: Then at the same time, she is in a confusion whether to still continue to pray to my grandma in the temple.
She is probably worried about what happens after she dies???? None of her 4 kids will hold the joss stick?
I am just quoting what she told me. I don't know much about bible or Christians. Maybe Christians here can enlighten us, for the sake of sharing.
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I would like to share this.
In my company’s China operations, the ex-GM is very superstitious type. So every year during CNY, on certain date, everyone must go back to the office for the pian bao ceremony and also pray to god of prosperity. This went on for many years and everything is good for the China operations.
Then last year, they had a new GM. She is a christian. During the annual ceremony (note the ex-GM has been promoted and is now more senior), the current GM didn’t want to hold the joss stick as it was against the religion. During last year, the China ops was plagued by alot of issues. So everyone is like… must be the GM never pray.
So this year, they were wondering if she would do so. I haven’t hear the latest news. Will ask my boss.
My boss shared this with us during a dinner. There were catholics at the table and they were like. They will probably hold the joss stick. It’s out of respect for the practise/ religion rather than their belief. They feel that there is no harm doing so. -
religion was an important criteria when i looked for a bf. i would not consider someone whose religious. at the end of the day, i dun want to convert for the sake of him. 10 yrs down the road, we are still a paif of happy free tinkers.
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daisyt:
Christians in Singapore are more of the American evangelicals. They tend to be more fundamentalistic, meaning they read the bible literally, they like to influence politics on issues like teaching evolution in schools, abortion, homosexuality rights, stem cell research etc... Even our Anglican belong to the lower house while those in England is the upper house and are more liberal.A friend from North Germany, she is a Christian but what type, I cannot remember. She came to Singapore for sight seeing, went into temple, hold joss sticks too to pray. To her, its just another kind of praying, for the blessing of her family. I was surprised because I have friends, who are Christians, won't hold joss sticks in parent's funeral. So I asked this Germany friend about holding joss sticks and going into temple. She told me, all religions are good, as long as they don't do harm to others. And its a wrong teaching that Christians should not hold joss sticks, should not enter temple. The basic respect to others should be there, regardless what religion.
I am just quoting what she told me. I don't know much about bible or Christians. Maybe Christians here can enlighten us, for the sake of sharing. -
daisyt:
daisyt,
A friend from North Germany, she is a Christian but what type, I cannot remember. She came to Singapore for sight seeing, went into temple, hold joss sticks too to pray. To her, its just another kind of praying, for the blessing of her family. I was surprised because I have friends, who are Christians, won't hold joss sticks in parent's funeral. So I asked this Germany friend about holding joss sticks and going into temple. She told me, all religions are good, as long as they don't do harm to others. And its a wrong teaching that Christians should not hold joss sticks, should not enter temple. The basic respect to others should be there, regardless what religion.
I am just quoting what she told me. I don't know much about bible or Christians. Maybe Christians here can enlighten us, for the sake of sharing.
I applaud your friend! I think Singaporeans need to learn from your friend. She is truely open-minded and respects other religions to the fullest! Remember our Singapore pledge? Regardless of religion... -
MLR:
MLR,Hiya pinky
Me Buddhist, DH Anglican.
Interestingly, DH didn't went church for like 15 yrs(since college). When we got married and he was out of job the same month, he hit the lowest point of his life. He was very fustrated, cos couldn't find a suitable job. At that time, I told him that sometimes you need more than love ones to support you, I think you need spiritual guidance and encouraged him to go back to church.
He told me that he hasn't been to church for the past 15 yrs and wondered if the church would collasped when he step in. Told him that his God would forgive him if he sincerely pray to him and asked for guidance. He did started going to church and after a few months things got better, found a job, we settled into marriage life.
2 yrs ago, we decide to baptise DS, guess what? The church didn't agree to our choice of godparents, cos they and me are not members of the church, The priest asked DH to ask for forgiveness and repent cos he married a non-believer. Well, what I said was that if the church couldn't accept me, so be it. I was pretty crossed, cos I was the one who got DH going back to his faith and yet the church is against me. I then started DS to go for church service with DH. And after 2 yrs later, just b4 DS 2nd birthday, he was baptised. He started going for Sunday classes and Sunday is my offday.
To me its about acceptance. You hv to accept him and his religion, when you married him, you marry his everything.
So I don't 'DEAL\" with it, I accept it. Furthermore, when you first went \"steady\" with him, isn't religion an important factor of consideration when you accept his proposal/marriage?
Just my personal experience and views.....
How come DS did not follow you to become a Buddhist?
Kudos to you for being open-minded as well! i probably would have advised him to go to the temple with me when he was down since he has not gone back to the church for so long...
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