All About Full-Time Maids

[moom]

Omgmum and breadandmuffins!


I thought I was the only one who had a maid with black face and attitude. She was a good cook and overall good maid… the only problem was she will black face very often, suka don’t answer when you speak to her and banging things, utensils and other household stuff was her specialty. She worked with us for 5 years and everytime she ‘black face’, i would feel uneasy. My husband thought i was crazy to be affected by her so much,… but i couldn’t help it. Too much EQ? haha

I thought we treated her quite well- she got 3 sundays off, a monthly salary of 670 at the end, protected time after 8pm; she always declined going out with us, so we always went out or travelled without her, $100 AP for bday and CNY- not bad right?

anyway, now she has left and I am thinking really hard abt whether to re-employ another one… but reading all the horror stories here really makes me hesitant. and if I do, which nationality to take etc… major headache now

housework, cooking I can handle… it’s just the logistics I have trouble with cos I have 3 kids and there is no one to jaga the youngest when I have to bring the older 2 for classes etc…

arrgh… what to do…

[bigsnoopy]

moom:

Omgmum and breadandmuffins!


I thought I was the only one who had a maid with black face and attitude. She was a good cook and overall good maid... the only problem was she will black face very often, suka don't answer when you speak to her and banging things, utensils and other household stuff was her specialty. She worked with us for 5 years and everytime she 'black face', i would feel uneasy. My husband thought i was crazy to be affected by her so much,.. but i couldn't help it. Too much EQ? haha

I thought we treated her quite well- she got 3 sundays off, a monthly salary of 670 at the end, protected time after 8pm; she always declined going out with us, so we always went out or travelled without her, $100 AP for bday and CNY- not bad right?

anyway, now she has left and I am thinking really hard abt whether to re-employ another one.. but reading all the horror stories here really makes me hesitant. and if I do, which nationality to take etc.. major headache now

housework, cooking I can handle.. it's just the logistics I have trouble with cos I have 3 kids and there is no one to jaga the youngest when I have to bring the older 2 for classes etc...

arrgh.. what to do..

Just curious.. What nationality is ur maid and the others?

[moom]

Hey bigsnoopy


Mine was Filipino, so is omgmum’s. Not sure abt breadand muffins tho.

[bigsnoopy]

moom:

Hey bigsnoopy


Mine was Filipino, so is omgmum's. Not sure abt breadand muffins tho.

I guess so too.. That why i dont employ pilipino anymore...Got a Phobia of them... :nailbite:

[omgmum]

LKVM:

Mine is very poor never goto see the fan also in the life but come here lazy... wat to do???

My maid also quite poor cos her handphone doesn't even have a proper cover. That's why I tolerated her temper for so long cos I felt sorry for her. I think both of us not that heng?

So I guess it's really got to do with attitude and if they really need to send the money back home.

[omgmum]

Breadandmuffins:

Hi omgmum


How long have yr maid been with you? You can \"tong\" her for so long..... I cannot lun this kind of attitude, Wah bang things around! I am a sahm so if my maid like that, would have change her long ago.

She's only been a month with me, but she started banging things on her second day here. :faint: I keep tolerating her because when I talk to her about her attitude and her work, things will get better before she decides to get unhappy again. But her moods are very unpredictable. Don't know when she'll be unhappy and why.

I keep thinking that maybe she needs time to settle in. But I realised that attitudes and character don't change so easily. Another fact may be that she's very young, only 25, and is the youngest of 7 children. These 2 facts should have raised alarms, but I was stupid enough to believe that she's had years of exp talking care of kids in philipines.

Breadandmuffins:

She had been with me for a long time and recently became impatient with the kids. I think it also had to do with her being tired of the job. So will seriously consider not renew her contract and let her find another employer. Last yr we wanted to ask her to go already but could not really do so as still need help.

I will smack my girl when she's too much sometimes, but I tell the maid that she can only tell my girl 'no', or to just ignore her when my girl is throwing tantrums. But she must make sure that my girl is safe. So far, I've never left her with my girl for more than 5 minutes cos I know she can't handle my girl's tantrums. She likes to play with my girl, but when my girl is naughty, I've seen the way she glares at her. V scary, cos in front of us she will act like she likes my girl a lot. Guess this is another reason why I've decided to let her go.

Mine is also bored of the job. She just doesn't like the fact that she has to do the chores! And she's a fresh maid!

I think you're better than me. You tolerated yours for so long! :salute:

[omgmum]

moom:

Omgmum and breadandmuffins!




I thought we treated her quite well- she got 3 sundays off, a monthly salary of 670 at the end, protected time after 8pm; she always declined going out with us, so we always went out or travelled without her, $100 AP for bday and CNY- not bad right?

You treated her very well! $670 is a very good salary, what with 3 days off a month! I've heard of maids earning only $460 after 6 years! Did your maid leave for Taiwan or HK? Cos if she stayed in singapore, she'll prob be :stupid: . Where to find this kind of salary here?

moom:

housework, cooking I can handle.. it's just the logistics I have trouble with cos I have 3 kids and there is no one to jaga the youngest when I have to bring the older 2 for classes etc...

arrgh.. what to do..

Wah, you and breadandmuffins v siong, with 3 kids. I've only one toddler, and I already almost cannot make it. Still it's easier for me to go maidless compared to you!

[Rivevae]

Dear mothers, just a piece of advice – never never tolerate a stranger at the expense of your own children’s wellbeing. They are too precious for you to even compromise with a substandard maid for convenience sake (trouble / uncertain to look for another "better" one). Tell it to your DH - if he entrusts you with all the household chores, then they should not interfere but to trust and leave you to resolve such domestic issue. I am saying this stemming from my own (bad) experiences.

FYI, "street smart" maids tend to bully SAHM when the man of the household is not around. More so if the employer is under your DH’s name. They also like to act dumb so they don’t have to work alot. "Hot tempered/fierce-looking/unloving" maids have a high tendency of bullying / controlling young children by threats, pinches, privilege-deprivation & etc. These are some I believe we have encountered / heard more than enough.
So my basic rule is - wait no further to fire them when I pick up any tell tale signs cos the longer I hv them the more my DS & I will suffer. Also, always trust your children’s instinct - they are very sensitive towards people’s inner character and there is always a reason for them to dislike/fear someone. If money (extra agent fees/air fares) can solve the problem, let it be. After all nothing is more valuable than your children. That’s why I make it clear to my DH if he dares to interfere (sides the maid / chin-chye lah / lun lah), I will pack up and leave with my DS as he’s just doing me/DS injustice to bear with a maid I am uncomfortable with, all day long (how much does he know about her if he only faces her 1-2 hr in the evening on weekdays??).

Just my 2cent’s worth.

[hquek]

Understand from a friend that maids (esp Phil) thinks the man of the house is the one with money - by being in their good books they can have it easy. that may be why such maids dare show face to the ma’ams. So from the start, I always let my maid know that I am the boss, not sir - I am the one to disburse her salary. For sahms, tell your DH to let YOU disburse the money, and let her think that you are the one controlling purse strings.


My godma also kena from maid becos they feel that old pp are not their employers. So in my case, I tell them that grandma is MY mother and I fully respect her. Show her black face means don’t respect me. So far so good, at least my mum dun get bullied by the maid.

Moom, your ex-maid very silly leh. $670 plus 3 sundays off, I really don’t think she can get better elsewhere. Anyway, good riddance to bad rubbish.

[omgmum]

Hi Rivevae,


You're totally right. I guess once we don't feel safe/ comfortable with the maids around, we should really listen to our gut feelings.

Your husband is really supportive, even if you have to issue an ultimatum. But some husbands may need more persuading. :sad: And I guess some parents agonise over changing of maids because of pressing logistics issues.

Thank goodness my husband decided to believe me even though my maid has been perfect in front of him. Problem is we need to find a time to send her back, cos I definitely won't be able to handle a berserk maid on my own.

Hope to be able to send the maid off as soon as possible. Cos she seems to be getting more and more unhappy and unstable, and this morning kept sighing when she did the chores. Creepy!