Children Suicide Cases

[3Boys]

atutor2001:

Woh! really heavy reading.


Just like to find out. I always call my kids names, e.g. silly, stupid... any name that you can think off. But always in a joking manner.

Will such actions leave \"scars\" in their memories or make them lose confidence. However, till now they have been doing fine - very good results. I am one of those parents who would jokingly tell them off if they get 99. I feel that there is no harm as they understand that I don't mean it. I will usually surprise them later with rewards for their good results.

I really don't know if my actions will leave any ill-effect. Please advice.

Its never advisable to do things to damage you child's self esteem. On the other hand, I wouldn't let the scaremongering get to you. Not seen anything that is substantially evidence-based so far linking to child suicide.

[atutor2001]

3Boys:

Its never advisable to do things to damage you child's self esteem.

Thanks I think I better hold my tongue. Though I am only joking with them so that they would not become complacent (they are very lazy and playful) I am worried that I might hurt their self esteem.

[Funz]

atutor2001:

Woh! really heavy reading.


Just like to find out. I always call my kids names, e.g. silly, stupid... any name that you can think off. But always in a joking manner.

Will such actions leave \"scars\" in their memories or make them lose confidence. However, till now they have been doing fine - very good results. I am one of those parents who would jokingly tell them off if they get 99. I feel that there is no harm as they understand that I don't mean it. I will usually surprise them later with rewards for their good results.

I really don't know if my actions will leave any ill-effect. Please advice.

though I do not think it will lead to their self esteem being totally destroyed, I do think that it does affect to a certain degree. Dun forget that children can be very literal sometimes. My parents were like you. We know that they are happy or proud that we come back with good grades or full marks. But they will never pat us on the back and say good job but they will always be joking with us, saying things like we slipped $10 to get the teacher to give us the full marks or we copied, etc. Yah it is joking but an outright 'good job' or 'keep it up' or 'we are proud of you' would have been better.

[concern2]

Thanks, insider, for posting the article. First time reading this thread and appreciate your all your articles.


:thankyou:

Reading about all these cases always remind me to appreciate my kids the way they are, to love them like the first day they were born, unconditionally.

I object to saying things like \"If you don't do this/that, I won't love you anymore\". Although not literally, how often are we guilty of giving our kids that message without realizing it?

Some suicidal cases may not come from school work but stress at home. I grew up in an environment where my parents were under a lot of stress. I was a silent observer and wept quietly when my parents were sad. There were careless remarks that my parents made like, \"It won't have been so bad if we don't have a kid yet\", which made me want to disappear from their life so they'd feel better. But I was too innocent to think I could \"disappear\" by committing suicide. I just hid in the cupboards or under the bed so they couldn't find me (eventually they did of course, and I'd end up being reprimanded for causing alarm :P)

I realized later in life the importance of having a sense of existence ”存在感“, and how important it is as parents / guardians, not to take that away from our kids.

[atutor2001]

Funz:

....saying things like we slipped $10 to get the teacher to give us the full marks or we copied, etc. ....

So embarrasing, :oops: I remembered ever saying exactly the same things. Thanks, must change to celebrate directly with them.

[sashimi]

I saw something in the TODAY paper today that I personally think has an effect on kids.


(As many of you know, I am very anti-media because of their bias towards bad news and hype. This is another one of those arguments).

Under the main article, \"TV trumps the Internet\" (TODAY page 12, 21 Oct 2009).[quote]
NEWS THAT'S IMPORTANT, ACCORDING TO KIDS
In Cartoon Network's regional survey, 2139 children were asked to pick the news item they thought was the most important.


1. Spread o H1N1 Virus 24%
2. Environmental Issues 14%
3. Terrorism 14%
4. Natural disasters 12%
5. Nuclear weapons threat 11%
6. Poverty 9%
7. Economic crisis 8%
8. Government instability 8%[/quote]
WOW!!!! I'm so impressed! So these are the kind of subjects that kids, for one reason or another (be it press bias or teacher's instructions) - are most IMPORTANT!

Fear your world, kids! H1N1, oh the paranoia! Terrorists at every corner waiting to bomb your school! Earthquakes and typhoons! Nuclear missiles raining from heaven! Poverty and hunger and joblessness!

Why would young impressionable pampered children want to live in such a world anymore?

[skunk]

sashimi:

Why would young impressionable pampered children want to live in such a world anymore?

Or for that matter, why would anyone, not just children, wanna live in such a world?

Only the strong, tough and cruel survive. Muahahaha.

[watmekiasu]

I even find it hard to believe that the tv trumps the internet, esp for young teenagers.

[Fluffy]

Coincidentally today, I spoke to a friend who mentioned to me about the Seng Kang’s student case. She also pointed out there are alot of children’s suicide cases not reported in the newspaper. I agreed because my husband’s ex colleague’s son jumped down from his home last year at age of 12. No report at all and all hush hush. There was no pre-sign at all and parents are quite easy going, hardly gave him stress. An above average boy in a neighbourhood school. He indulged in computer gaming, comics and story books like Mr Midnight and ghosts stuff. All was discovered later in his room was strange drawings of icons which may be related to cult following. Till now, parents could not draw a conclusion what make him take the no return route.


That’s a reminder for all parents to :

Do not focus only on children’s academic
Pay attention to their emotional well being
Know their interest and guide them (steer clear from improper influence esp from media - internet & TV)
Spend time with them (quality & quantity)
Set a ritual time with children to allow them to express their inner thoughts
Do not judge their’s opinion but have an open mind

[skunk]

Fluffy:

Do not judge their's opinion but have an open mind

what if their opinion is that this is a rotten world, that it's better to jump down and die?

Certain \"opinions\" have to be corrected, regardless of whether they can accept it at that time or not.