Childcare or no Childcare?

[cherrygal]

So you have tried bringing your own food or just his own bowl? If he’s picky about food, then he should have no problems eating the food you cooked. Unless as you have said, he could be waiting to go home for lunch.


If you have the choice to stay home, then continue with the current arrangement lor. You won’t be so heartpain.

But really, if you send him full day, he won’t starve himself one… Kids get fussy becoz we parents (and grandparents) provide too many alternatives…

Dun want rice, eat bread / cereal
Dun want meat, eat pork floss, nuggets
Dun want milk, drink yoghurt drink… the list goes on

So the kids know and manipulate us. Baby books all say that if the kid refuses to eat what we give, we should just take away the food and not provide alternatives. Then offer the same food again a while later. That method worked for my fussy DD. I would take it away nonchalantly and start eating my dinner. DD would look at me and say "Mummy, I want to eat!"

[ahbombom]

Hi, I’ve recently sent my 18 months DD to half day child care. I noted that one of her teachers is really fierce. DD was whining to be carried and the teacher raised her voice at her "stop it! xxx, stop it! 123 stop it!". She’s just 18 months and new to school. On another occasion, she shouted at a child "xxx, the chair is not for standing!" when she climbed on the chair and we could hear it from a distance. The 2 teachers also looked overwhelmed with crying kids (3 new kids in the class) even with a reasonably low 2:12 ratio and there seemed insufficient teachers looking after the children at the playground after drop off. We saw older toddlers playing with dustbin lids and water pipe near the playground. The principal does drop by the playground and class to help out occasionally, and the cleaning lady helps out at lunch time.


DD as expected cried quite a bit during these few days in class and also became very clingy to us after she started school and kept wanting to be carried, including having to carry and rock her to sleep when she used to be able to fall asleep on her own.

Seeing her cries, changed behaviour, perceived inadequate level of staffing, being scolded fiercely by the teacher, we are thinking of withdrawing her. I would say the latter being the main reason but not sure if we are being too protective and if the situation will be better after all the kids settle in. We are also worried about getting sick often and if she is too young to be exposed given lower immunity level. We do have alternate care available for her that we are comfortable with. Our purpose of sending her to half day child care is for her to socialize, learn both languages (we do not speak mandarin at home and the centre has language immersion programme) and be independent. We have feedback to the principal who assured us that she will remind the teacher to be gentler. She also provided solutions to resolve other minor issues.

It wasn’t easy for us to get a place in the childcare. As we have no prior experience with childcare centres, we also do not know what is acceptable and what is not, including what to expect from DD’s behaviour being in a new environment and coping with separation anxiety. We are still rather undecided and would like to know what you would do in our shoes. Thanks.

[1amber]

Hi all,


I started sending my only kid to childcare centers when she turned 18mths just to learn to socialize. Do check out the places. Some places are a nightmare. If you have screaming teachers, stay clear.

[cherrygal]

Yah, take her out. Childcare teachers should not scream. So far I have never heard my gal’s teachers raise their voices. They should be firm but not fierce. Change to another school.


If you have alternative care, wait till she’s >20 months then re-introduce her to another school for socialisation. She’ll be more ready then. Anyway, HFMD is quite rampant now so it’ll be good to stay home for this period of time.

In the meantime, boost her immunity by giving some multivitamins etc.

[DesertWind]

Hi ahbombom,


Your precious one is the vulnerable one. Only 18 mths old get scolded by teachers, lack of staff some kids left unsupervised. Changed behaviour and cries, clingy => getting insecure already. Think the answer quite obvious. I will say withdraw her. No point put her there. Use the alternative arrangement you are comfortable with.

When she gets older ie. the year turning 3, and you have good help to look after your kid, you have the option of sending her to a kindy (3 hours) instead of a CCC. My impression is that it is hard to get a good CCC but chances of getting a good kindy with more patient, experienced teachers are higher.

All the best.

[ahbombom]

Hi, many thanks for your views. The teacher is firm and very loud and we think she leans towards being fierce, at least that’s our impression of her. We are likely to go with our instinct and withdraw DD.


Having this disappointing experience, we are thinking if we should find another childcare for her or wait till the year she turns 3. For those of you who sent your child to childcare at 18 months for purposes of socializing, literacy, and learning to be independent, do you see any huge benefits of doing so instead of waiting till the year they turn 3?

Once again, thanks for your comments.

[cherrygal]

I put my gal in full-day childcare since 22 mths. I am SAHM but work part-time occasionally. I saw superb improvement in her language skills and counting. She has also learnt to sing very well and has picked up good manners. I put her in so quickly despite me being quite free, was becoz I saw the good development of my elder boy. My MIL also just mentioned that my gal is faster in her speech development than her cousin of the same age who is not attending any childcare now.


Well, feel free to keep the kid at home if you can spare the time and know how to teach them the alphabet, numbers etc. It is very taxing to keep them occupied the whole day constructively. I figured the CCC would be much better than letting my gal watch TV at home most of the day if she stayed home.

Though she’s on the full-day programme, I send her there from 10am and fetch her home earlier. It’s more flexible this way.

[shinri]

Hmm… DD is 15 mths turning 16 mths soon. I registered her early because afraid the school will be full.

She’s supposed to go pre-school in 2013, but nowadays I wonder if it’s too early?
To me, she’s still so small, so little, still like many things dunno, etc.
She just started to learn to walk, can only say a few words (i.e. mum mum, orh orh, gai gai, ne ne, etc) and only has 2 teeth.
I’m thinking now whether to delay for another year…

[cherrygal]

Shinri,

If your dd is already 16 mths soon, that means she will enter when she is 25 mths next Jan? By then, she should be steady enough and would have learnt to say more words. Things move relatively fast in the next 9 months. Dun worry so much…

[decollette]

Cherrygal:

I only brought along his bowl and spoon, but makes no difference to him hehe. Anyway, the principal updated me that he had quite abit of lunch today… (think he likes noodles thats why) They said they told him he could go to the play area if he ate his lunch as reward. Once, they tried stickers as reward but that didnt work. Anyway, Im glad they are working very hard with me to ensure he doesnt reject lunch totally.
Yeap i think your method about taking away food and offering same food afterwards is the right way! Often we offer alternatives they tend to become picky. Full day is definitely more flexible… but wondering how they manage so many kids having naps? What if some woke up and start crying, fussing etc? Won’t it affect the others?

ahbombom:
If i were u i would withdraw my child from the school. As a teacher she should know that separation anxiety is a normal thing, how can she shout at her to stop it? This would only make the anxiety worse. WHen my boy was 18 mths , i enrolled him in a childcare near my place… i pulled him out after just two days cos the group was just too big and it seems the teachers were shorthanded. To add to it, there are three other newbies joining on the same day. And when i meant big, its like 20 over toddlers in a room and just three teachers.Some little girl just cried in a corner and she was mostly ignored. I felt so bad for her. Leaving your child to adapt to childcare also meant being able to trust the teachers to a certain extent. I listened to my instincts and withdrew him. Then I went on to shortlist and view all other ccs before i decided on the current one. My boy was made welcome on the first day there and his separation anxiety was shorter than i expected… so dont lose heart! There are good ccs around, so dont settle for what you clearly are not comfortable with.