KS Parents' Love Story
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More... More... :please:
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sunlight7:
Wah... :oops: ... I may not be a mills and boons fan, but your stories stirs those long forgotten memories of youth and hope....
(PS: this episode specially dedicated to Chief Kiasu)
Thank you! -
sunlight7:
Are you writing your true love story, or are you just making this up? :scratchhead:Ep.4 Ecounter with The Killer Whale
If you are a fan of National Geographic, like me, you would know that a whale is generally a very gentle giant, gliding across the vast oceans with its mouth open wide to ingest little planktons as food. They move gracefully and slowly, never loud or intrusive. But most of all, they can be elusive and tend to leave others alone. However, contrary to that notion is the killer whale, who is is far from gentle. It is a bloodthirsty, cruel and cunning meat-eater, a carnivorous killer that stalks, toys and tosses its prey, usually a dolphin or a seal, in the air again and again before subsequently eating the poor creature.
I was, unfortunately, similarly stalked by a killer whale a.k.a. the Dean of the Business School during my dark days. A Dean of an academic instituition is, by and large, an isolated job. He or she does not actually teach and interact with the student body but rather to set policies, rules and generally lord over everybody, especially the lecturers and other teaching and administrative personnel. They function as his eyes and ears, so he pretty much would know what goes on in the faculty. He is like an emperor ruling over his little kingdom and behaves as such. Suffice to say, the Dean is a most hated figure in the world of academia. We also hated our Dean.
The Killer Whale looks nothing like its namesake of the ocean. Our Dean was small in stature but big in ego. In fact, he was big in everything else.....including...well. you know what they say about bald men, right ? He was about 1.65m from sole to scalp, but rather rotund in girth. He actually looked a bit like an angry garden gnome with his red puffy cheeks, hooked nose and a balding head, speaking of which is very impressive in shape and size. His head seemed to be proportionately too big for his body and gave the optical illusion that he was wobbling as he walked. But the shape was perfectly curved like an egg. It was smoother than a baby's bottom. That was indeed one heck of a dome ! You would know he was appraoching simply by having the sunlight bounced off his forehead
into your eyes. His ego, on the other hand, was huge. As far as he was concerned, his word was law and his faculty, a monumental reflection of his success. His gold plated watch, his thick gold necklace peeking out from his hairy chest and his gawdy colorful suspenders are symbolic representation of that success. Needless to say, the faculty's academic performance was further evidence of
his success and any blight on that platform of success was considered a direct challenge to him and everything he stood for.
So, you can imagine what we meant to him - a trio of fun-loving, easy going and truant losers, not goose-stepping in line with his definition of succeess. Being average , to him, is being a failure. We were like a cancer eating at insides, rotting bacteria corrupting his pristine world. Of the 3 of us, I was considered exceptionally abhorrent because my grades had been falling consistently and alarmingly at a reverse 45 degree towards zero. Towards failure. Towards an insult to his kingdom. Towards an encounter with the Killer Whale........
The rumuors have been making the rounds in the grapevine for weeks that I had made it to the Dean's list. No, not the one for the brainy yet all rounder high achievers. This was the \"alternate\" Dean's list that came with warning letters and verbal reprimands. The rumours finally came true one fine day when I was summoned to the Killer court to have an audience with the Dean.
\"Congratulations, you made the Dean's list\"
\"Yeah, right\"
\"So, when are you seeing his royal highness?\"
\"Thursday\"
\"What are you gonna say\"
\"I dont know. What can I say ?\"
\"Just say you are naturally intelligent and this is just a very temporary blip in your long academic career and that you will bounce back with a vengence when your brain has had its sufficient rest\". With friends like that, I was doomed to a life of irreverence and dark comedy.
The meeting with the Killer Whale was actually rather uneventful, given the build-up hype to the event. I knew his personality, his pompous nature and his inflated sense of self-importance but what I was not mentally prepared for was the emotional intimidation:
\"What we have here and what I have built is a very fine instituition, my dear young man. By all acccount, we are one of the top universities in this region, if not the world. Do you know what that means ?\"
\"Uh huh.\"
\"No, you dont ! Because if you do, then your pea-brain would be able to grasp the significance of the situation. Here are your performance in chro....no....lo....gi..cal....or...der.....\" His fat, pudgy index and middle fingers tapped at a stack of A4 sized papers. *I fantasized of McDonald's oversized french fries*. They were my assessment and examination scripts.
\"Chronology is only important in a controlled series, sir. For changeable situations, chronology is actually quite irrelevant. The past is only a reference, its not a predictor.\"
\"Shut up ! Oh, you think you're smart, arent you ?! Well. this is the situation, listen carefully....either you buck up in the coming semester or you ship out of the faculty....MY faculty ! Consider yourself warned.\"
\"What?\"
\"You heard me, shape up or ship out.\"
\"You can't do this. I passed\"
\"Passing is the new failing, my boy. You and your two moronic friends are a disgrace to the reputation of this instituition.\"
\"But, but.....\"
\"Dismissed !\"
What an asshole, I thought to myself as I walked out of his court. Therein now lied the dilemma - if i devote more time to my academics, I would not have time to search for angelfish but if I don't, I may never see her again if I somehow successfully got myself kicked out of university.
I needed help. I needed Vivien - the Queen Barracuda. -
Busymom:
Err....according to what he had written at the beginning....is his true love story.....
Are you writing your true love story, or are you just making this up? :scratchhead:sunlight7:
Ep.4 Ecounter with The Killer Whale
I needed help. I needed Vivien - the Queen Barracuda.
Indeed, brought back youth luv memories which happened in the campus..... -
sunlight7:
I observed that too....some couples after some yrs, they really look alike.
After some years, they even began to look like each other.
sunlight7:
This is a bit too exaggerating bah.....Their pet dog also started looking more and more like them, or vice versa.Their toddler then looks like the dog.
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Augmum:
Err....according to what he had written at the beginning....is his true love story.....
Are you writing your true love story, or are you just making this up? :scratchhead:Busymom:
[quote=\"sunlight7\"]Ep.4 Ecounter with The Killer Whale
I needed help. I needed Vivien - the Queen Barracuda.
Indeed, brought back youth luv memories which happened in the campus.....[/quote]I asked because I have my reasons. Anyway not important. -
Busymom:
I asked because I have my reasons. Anyway not important.[/quote]Oh....u find something familiar ?
Err....according to what he had written at the beginning....is his true love story.....Augmum:
[quote=\"Busymom\"]
Are you writing your true love story, or are you just making this up? :scratchhead:
Indeed, brought back youth luv memories which happened in the campus..... -
ChiefKiasu:
Haha....we called that \" Maths and Biology bks\" at that time.....
Wah... :oops: ... I may not be a mills and boons fan, but your stories stirs those long forgotten memories of youth and hope.sunlight7:
...
(PS: this episode specially dedicated to Chief Kiasu)
Thank you! 
-
Busymom:
I asked because I have my reasons. Anyway not important.[/quote]You find it too unbelievable to believe? Frankly, in my uni days, was not aware that any Dean would stalk people and talk in this way? Or have things changed after I graduated? :scratchhead:
Are you writing your true love story, or are you just making this up? :scratchhead:Busymom:
[quote=\"sunlight7\"]Ep.4 Ecounter with The Killer Whale
I needed help. I needed Vivien - the Queen Barracuda. -
Ep 7. An inauspicious beginning.
My first date with Vivien was with her dad - the Dean of the Medical School.
There we were, alone in his office, two grown men with nothing to say and nothing in common except for Vivien. Professor John Lai would look up occasionally at me from his pile of papers through his horn-rimmed glasses, not in a hostile way but still rather too intense for my liking. I was looking everywhere else but at him, squirming self-consciously in my seat. The silence was deafening and very, very awkward. We seemed to be frozen across the thick mahogany table for I don’t know how long. It could have been five or ten longest minutes of my life. I twiddled my thumb under the desk and tapped my toes lightly as Bob Marley’s rhythmic "Buffalo Soldier" played in my head. I made a very strong effort not to sway from side to side or bop my head up and down.
Vivien Lai the barracuda queen had called me the day after the accident :
"Hello." I drawled in my couch.
"Hey, its Vivien from the car accident yesterday. Remember me?" I shot up like a rocket from my slouched position in front of the TV as my heartbeat immediately began to pound and my speech began to stammer.
"Oh…he…he…hello…ye…yes…I remember."
"Oh good, hee hee. You promised to help me, remember that too ?"
"Did…did…did…I ?" I did not mean to refute my help but in my nervousness, my usual eloquence escaped me and all I could do was let words tumbled out of my mouth like a babling idiot. I could imagine her pouting at the other end, it brought a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart.
"Of course you did !"
"Ok…so…so…were-were-were-when do we want to-to-to go-go to the po-po-po-police station ?"
"What ?! Are you insane ? Why would I want to go to the police station ???"
"To report that lunatic who side-swiped your car !!" My speech lucidity was immediately restored just thinking about that scumbag Alvin Soh.
"I’m not reporting to any police, are you mad ? My daddy is already pissed enough already. To involve the police…I will never get my car back …are you mad ? Anyway, our family lawyer is handling the insurance and what-not. Are you mad ?".
"No, you’ve asked me three times and I am not mad and what help do you need from me?" I have since regained my composure although I could still feel the sweat dripping off my palms.
"I need you to come with me to talk to my daddy…to tell him what you saw, tell him that its not my fault, tell him its that idiot Alvin Soh." She proceeded to tell me about her dad and what to say to him.
"You’re kidding…no…no way…you want me to talk to your dad ? Are you mad ? I don’t do very well with Deans" The image of the killer whale floated across my forehead.
"Yes you will"
"No I won’t"
"Yes yoooooouuuu wiiiill !"
"No !"
"Yes, yes, yes, a promise is a promise. Alright, my white knight in shining armour, I’ll make it worth your while with McDonald’s and a movie, my treat. And you get to kick Alvin Soh’s ass"
"Oh. Like a date?"
"Call it whatever you want." She gave me an address in the campus, a date and a time. She then hung up with a "ta ta, don’t be late".
After calming down for five minutes with a can of beer, all I could really think of was what a situation have I gotten myself into…maybe I could get Turtle and Octopus to come with me. You know, courage in numbers.
"What the f***, man !!" They chourused in perfect unison. "No, no way"
"Oh, c’mmon…surely you dont expect me to face the dean alone, right ?"
"We can’t help you, we didnt see anything, remember ? Only you with your miracle eyes saw what happened. This is your karma, you f***ing liar, ha ha ha"
"Yeah, you deserve this for being such a rat…ha ha ha. Good luck with the Dean"
"And your Vivien, hee heee" Octupus teased as he air-kissed me.
So there I was, all alone.
I was supposed to meet Vivien in her dad’s office in the medical faculty but she did not turn up and for which she would later confessed to have over-slept…in the afternoon of a school day ! We were supposed to meet there, blame Alvin Soh for the damage to her car, me testifying as such, she apologises to her father and then we scoot out of there for a burger and a movie. That was the simple plan. That was our date. But for now, the silence continued in what was increasingly becoming a contest of will to see who would speak first. Prof Lai continued to read and look, I continued to listen to the hypnotic beat of the phantom reggae music in my head.
After an excruciating long while, just when my head was about to explode to the loud thumping of the reggae beat, the Dean spoke.
"Well, I guess she’s not going to show up, as usual"
"Oh, maybe something important cropped up"
"Nope, if I know my daughter well enough, she either over-shopped or overslept." Prof John Lai gave out a long resigned sigh."Well, its lunchtime and I’m hungry. Why dont we head on to the cafetaria and grab a bite. You can tell me whatever that Vivien has put you up to lie to me."
So I ended up having lunch with the Dean of the Medical faculty and spent the next arduous 90 minutes defending Vivien and blaming Alvin Soh. The Professor did not seemed convinced but was finally too tired to resist and had reluctantly agreed to let the matter rest, on account of my sincere chilvary.
His parting words, however, were both frighteningly ominous and prophetic :"Stay away from my daughter…for your own good."
Vivien and I had our first big fight that night on the phone, even before we were a couple. I was fuming mad by the fact that she left me all alone with her father while she accused me of over-reacting and that it all turned out well. She rumbled on about how her father was a really nice man who was only strict with her but to me, it was a question of integrity and facing up to your actions. But to her, it was just a tiny episode amongst the many that she has gotten herself into and managed to get out of, either through her charm or sometimes through sheer dumb luck. There would be many more fights and squabbles in our time together.
It was not an auspicious start…made worse by my first sighting of the angelfish since that moment outside the library.
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