This year’s thread and readers are so fortunate. There are quite a few experienced and current GEP parents coming out to share their experiences for the GEP-parents-to-be to learn or think about.

ChiefKiasu:

We usually switch on the aircon AND fan from 10pm to 7am. Wasteful hor?

We have it like that too but not thru the night. The aircon is set with a timer. The aircon switches off and the fan works to circulate the cooled air thru the night. My electricity bill is between $35 to $40 each month, depending on the weather.

sunshine05:

Can a full size cello be brought onto mrt and public buses?

can

Is it very windy these few days? I have been mostly at home since yesterday and I keep hearing the wind howling…

Estéema:

Imami,


Sounds like yr son is an eager beaver & gogetter to boot. Good that u start him thinking.

I've always only wanna put my name last or my children's names last whenever I organise some events & we initiated it. Inshared my desire to always put other's interests before mine & hv a 礼让精神. I was very impressed by one of my child's classmate during our kids' party. All the kids trying to grab seat surrounding each other but there's limited space, leaving one child feeling left out almost in tears. This classmate of his immediately call to him to take over his seat & he went far end w/o feeling he gave up the best seat & missed out in action. Later chatting with his mum, she proudly shared her boy learnt always to give, bcoz she needed him to look out for special needs 妹妹. I always look out for this young chap & will distribute goodies, let him hv the first laser gun in the team games, or my designed cakes to him first. He looks out for others & we adults must look out for them!

Your young man will grow up very well with your guidance imami! :udawoman:

Thanks for sharing Esteema.

Tofu boy is well loved by family and friends. I would even venture to describe him as privileged. No, we are not filthy rich but we are contented. I started off wanting my kid to learn about sharing, caring and giving too. If there are only 4 slots but we have 5 kids, I would always persuade my kid to give up his place. If a kid has preference, I would always nudge my kid to give in. That's until a year or two back.

Then, he did it without any resentment shown. It was as if he was cool with any options. More importantly, his love and respect for me took priority and hence he always obliged. As he grows up, I think it is enough. The years of giving in/up because I requested must now end. He is mature enough to decide for himself if he wants to. We all have our right to choose, especially when deciding what to give up.

Does tofu boy stop being Mr Nice? No, not really. He still give in/up for his friends, out of his own free will. This is the most beautiful.

When cooking instant noodles, do consider cooking the noodles separately first in plain water first and then cook with the soup base. If you leave the water used for cooking the noodles aside, you may see a layer of waxy/grease on the top and some residue in the soup as well. I dread to think that I have been eating these unknown stuff for so long!


These days I cook my noodles separate. More work but it seems less harmful.

Favourite is nongshim.

I wonder what brand is the korean eating place using. I find their noodles nicer! But I don’t eat korean noodles outside anymore because I think they don’t cook the noodles separately.

Estéema:

When I was a single young adult, I hv many frds married ahead. One couple stood out & years later, after responsibilities are over taking care of both my elderlies, I married gaining learned experience fr my frds.


Many argue over money (why u spend money on spa or golf when can save for children & parents or vacations?), children's upbringing, time & funds allocated for both extended families. One couple adopted a co-parenting & shared responsibilities right fr start of their marriage. The hubby often seen feeding their babies & instructing toddlers behaviour & hug their kids loads. We had gatherings at their home & frd busy trying to complete marking her students work & hubby knows exactly where the spare sauces are kept & that we young ladies must wait for oil to heat up before throwing fish in, etc.

When I became a late mum, I quibble some of DH's habits & determined to train my kids with life skills.

My kids hv learnt to clear their plates after meals, changed out clothes separated appropriately for wash & never left on beds or floor for someone else to pick up. As a couple, we've learnt to refine our roles, or maybe I'm just thankful DH showed his love for my emotional deficits s'times. When I'm down, he'll do the grocery (not perfect) but appreciate his willingness. I learnt to give him space & time for his interests & hobbies (soon enuf, he'll share his results of photography & inspired me to brush up my green fingers). DH helped in washing dishes when we didn't hv helpers coz my nails cracked up & skin peels till some parts bleed. Whilst I cook a nice meal, he'll clear up & cut fruits, inspire of hectic full-time job. I feel guilty at times.

Life is never static. As we age, things change again & I've just learnt to be less critical, more u'stand'g even if I do not really ustand as yet source of problem of cause. You see, he was beginning to always doze off after mealtime & im left w/o my usual companion chats of life & events. I wasn't happy initially. After FIL's recent hospitalization & health issues pouring in, he was woken to do his VERY thorough health checks. Found the reason - he's got a condition of depleting energy fr aging. I can't rmbr the medical term.

Young marriages hv more challenges bcoz they've grown up fr less hardship home conditions, expectations are greater then some of us who've gone thro hard life & more contented not having restaurant food all the time or wooed by flowers at every annivetsaries, or honeymoon in exotic countries. I feel pretty-marriage counseling may help prepare them & it's impt young couples learn to share household responsibilities, co-parenting responsibilities, complement each other in their strengths & weaknesses. I'm brazing myself to the next generation who grew up with lots of screen time as this group needs instant gratification. Impatience will naturally set in if they don't see results in their marriage & may throw in towel easily.

It's a lot of hardwork, patience, not just taking but giving & hopefully receiving that helps a marriage grow strong. So, as I exhibit my menoposal symptoms, I hope DH will not easily 修了我 & throw in excuse of my u reasonable behaviour. I hope our marriage last ano few decades & we're good models for their belief in strong companionship for themselves.

Thank you for sharing, Esteema. I totally agree with those bits in red above.

It saddens me to realise just how many people I know are single parent. The number is not big, but I personally feel that any digit will be just too big. Think about the children growing up in those families. The anguish of knowing that some of my kid's friends are affected is heartaching. The children are always victims when marriages fall apart. No matter how well the parents are managing, it always seem not good enough. As the marriage breakdown, the mother (usually) is not just overwhelmed by her own emotions and sadness (assuming she is not the one who ask for a break) but also the management of her children. I see how my friend suffers as she drags her kids to school everyday, how the elder one is socially withdrawn and how the younger one is uncooperative because he is too young to understand.

I wish I know that getting married is the start of a long hard journey with a man I love, instead of an end of single life. I have my fair share of troughs with my hubby because of all those common issues such as differences in child upbringing, not enough understanding and being too critical (either way)... I think if we realise right from the start, that a marriage is the life long journey of constant calibrating the dynamics of the relationship, we would have been more at peace. As a couple, we brave the self-induced storms and thankfully, we grow to understand each other better.

I hope my friend can emerge the crisis stronger, braver, wiser and hopefully still a Mrs xx.

At times, I see myself through my child.


When I had to do school projects with my classmates, I always feel that the members’ names should be ranked according to how mcuh they had contributed to the project. I always like doing the work and naturally, I always make sure my name was on the top. It seemed the right way to do. Then.

Tofu boy had to do a write up for a subject. That was definitely very time consuming but if done properly and thoughtfully, that piece of work would serve as a first round of revision for the EOY exam to come. I was glad that tofu boy saw it too. The group had discussed on what to do and had agreed to put the stuff together by a certain time line. Unfortunately, none of the team member returned with anything.

Tofu boy decided to do on his own and he busied himself with the research, typing etc and by bedtime, there was already something decent. At the end of that piece of work, he indicated the group members’ name and listed his name as the first one. I casually said,"Put your name last."

He looked at me and said quietly,"I am the only one who did this." and I had this feeling that he thought he was kind enough to simply include their names. I guessed tofu boy was tired of those who simply hitch the ride along the way. Yup, he always seem to get at least one such member this year. For whatever reasons which differ from kid to kid.

I told him, I knew (that he was the only one who did it) but did he think the teacher wouldn’t know, or if the sequence of the names really do matter? Will the sequence mean different marks for each member with the first name getting the highest and the last name getting the lowest? What would be the greatest gain of getting this piece of work complete, was it just to put his name as the first one?

The last I glimpsed, his name was still the first one but I had no doubt my strings of questions had him thinking. I am sure he knows the answer to each of those questions but it will take time for him to rise above the superficial and be gracious about it.

starlight1968sg:

Imami:

Marriages don't seem to last these days. So sad. Just what has changed? The women these days are more educated, more indpendent - yes I know, yes I agree. Men are visual animals and there are always temptation - sure, I agree too but is there really more temptation? Or people are just more liberal these days and relationships are just not built on strong foundation?


What is the bedrock of marriages?

The women these days are having more on their plates. Is that their fault too, when it comes to failed marriages?

Failed marriages is NEVER due to educated women who are having more on their plates.

As a married woman, of course I would agree with you, starlight. But I think it would be more right to say the root cause of failed marriages is almost never because of a women's education.

When I was a kid, my mom used to tell me to rinse the top of the cans (be it drinks or canned food) because they could be dusty/dirty. I had never doubted her and I just did as she say. Most probably because I am big on cleaniness, you know.



When it comes tofu boy, he is not as \"obedient\". He would ask and observe. Finger the can, check if finger for dust etc. But he would still rinse the can but I believe he does it only because he kiasi. I always think that it is not worth it to fall sick due to poor hygiene habits.

One day, I was in a supermarket for grocery shopping. A staff was unpacking the canned food and re-stocking them onto the shelves. I thought he looked unusually tall. Took a closer look and realised that he was stepping on some cans just so that he could reach the upper shelves.

I signaled tofu boy to look and whispered,\" neh.... Never take it for granted that it's really clean...\" I think he is a true convert from there on. :imanangel: