My eldest son now is 20.


Some of you may have known roughly what kind of boy he is, basically someone who didn’t pay attention to study from baby to around Aug of the year when he took his O levels when he 开窍 around that time and studied for a few weeks to turn around his results from prelim of 30+ to 11 for L1R4 (and went into poly).

Two weeks ago, I had a dinner with him alone.

I asked him to recall what made him 开窍 suddenly?

He said just one day, suddenly a voice flashed across his mind, telling him that, ‘IT’S TIME TO STUDY!’.

Then he ‘woke up’ and started study AUTOMATICALLY.

He offered me more information.

He said that during his secondary school life, he had many many chances to go astray. He had peers who would go around stealing, fighting or sniffing glue.

I asked him then what was stopping him from joining in the thrill?

He replied it was just an inner voice that told him CANNOT DO IT. This voice will appear whenever he faces temptations, and this voice will over-ride anything else that may have conjured up his mind.

Listening to his description, I am even more convinced of the importance of a house having the right 磁场 for everyone staying in it. The ‘voice’ is actually not a ‘voice’ but it’s a Guiding Light (恩光）that has been endowed on him from the positive family environmental 气.

To recap, in order to have positive 磁场 in a house, the house needs to have minimal quarrels and 怨气. Hope all will always attempt to practise the 要做不要怨，要怨不要做 concept to ripe the benefits of positive 磁场 for the benefit of yourself, your child/children, and your spouse. It is difficult for me to convince you that as long as the house has the positive 磁场， everything will fall into place without you having to do anything except you have to ‘behave’ yourself and stop comparing, complaining, scolding, etc.

福祸无门，唯人自招 will be the last words that I am leaving behind for all my beloved KSP peers.

Best wishes to everyone!

jetsetter:

1st time i hear about \"stench\" from netherworld...thot it's usually via sight, touch, sound?

Got 'smell'...

My recently passed away best friend came visited me. While I walked out of my bedroom, I felt a gentle brush of wind (like someone passed by). In that brush, I smelt my best friend's perfume...

My Indonesia maid said if something smell 'rotten', then it's 恶鬼; if smell 'nice', then harmless spirit.

Long-term friend called crying, talking about divorce, common issue of 'Small Three'. Two primary school kids. A housewife.


Tried to get myself 'updated' with divorce and cost and found the below quite useful info for 'straight forward' case (friend's case likely to be straight forward as her husband wants a divorce and she can have all the things, incl kids, that she asks for as long as he can afford):


Extract from http://www.wwlegal.com/posts/macdivorce ... singapore/

If your case satisfies all the above, then this is how your matter is likely to proceed if you engage a lawyer:

Step 1: Set up an appointment with a lawyer to brief him/her of your case (1-2 hours)

Step 2: The lawyer will write to your spouse informing him/her that you intend to commence divorce proceedings based on 3 or 4 year separation. The letter (“the Letter”) also sets out the terms of settlement where issues like maintenance, assets and legal costs (i.e. who bears how much) are concerned. The Letter will seek your spouse’s consent to the divorce and the settlement terms by asking your spouse to sign the enclosed Consent and the Letter and then returning both documents to the lawyer. (1-2 working days)

Step 3: Preparation of the court documents will commence and drafts will be sent to you for your approval or confirmation (1-5 working days)

Step 4: Upon receipt of the Letter, duly signed by your spouse and after all the drafts have been approved by you, the papers will be filed with the Family Court through the Electronic Filing System (1 working day)

Step 5: When the Court returns with the suit number of your writ and the filing date, your spouse will attend at the lawyer’s office to accept service of the documents and to sign the Draft Consent Order (setting out the terms of settlement stated in the Letter) (3-5 working days depending on spouse’s schedule)

Step 6: You will then attend at the lawyer’s office to sign the requisite documents so that you can apply for a hearing date for uncontested divorce. The hearing date given is usually about 3-6 weeks from the date of application. Draft Consent Order will be filed at the same time.

Step 7: Attend the hearing. Your spouse need not attend the hearing if he/she does not want to.

Step 8: Your lawyer will extract the Interim Judgment (3-5 days after the divorce hearing)

Step 9: 3 months later, your lawyer will apply for the Interim Judgment to be made final and the divorce is officially completed.

Conclusion

Most law firms will be prepared to fix their costs and disbursements for divorce matter of this nature. In my practice, the cost range for this kind of divorce matter is my firm’s lowest for divorce matter.

Total time taken from the day you are ready to meet your lawyer (all ingredients met) to Final Judgment is about 4 ½ – 5 months (see proviso above).

dolphinsiah:

I just enrolled by 65 year old mum from Minimum Sum to CPF Life Standard.


Now her monthly payout is SGD705.

For the next 30 years the Total amount payout to her will be:

SGD705x12x30 = SGD253800

To me is a good return.

Now if anything happens to me her basic essential needs will be taken care. :xedfingers:

Can someone good in maths formula try to calculate what is the present value of $705/month means in 20 years and 30 years time at an inflation rate of 3%? I 'arga arga' numbers are less than $300 and $100 respectively.


PS:
My take on whether to choose Basic or Standard is whether need to leave for kids. If kids are no good or independent enough and self does not really have much, then should just take the basic to max out own hardwork (meaning if self have more than enough, then should choose Standard. Think once chosen, the decision cannot be reversed and so have to think ultra carefully?)

Some living will fight over the ‘ownership’ of ash (I shared this before).


My best friend who has just passed on about 2 months ago.

Few years back, his grandma passed away. Despite a Buddhist, she was also sent off as a Christian by his aunt after she died (my friend’s dad is no longer around, also died of cancer earlier than his grandma). He was not agreeable with the Chrisitian funeral arrangement but as a 小辈, he couldn’t say much.

However, as the favourite grandson of his grandma (they lived together), his only request to his aunt was he wanted the ash that was supposedly needed to be scattered in the sea as per his aunt’s arrangement. He told his aunt since she doesn’t believe in the ash holding any meanings, then please just give it to him so that he could put her ash in the same temple of his dad and granddad. I could still remember so vividly that he said one day, his ash would be with them too in the same temple. His aunt relented and gave him the grandma’s ash. He visited both his dad and grandparents then in the temple.

So, it is so ironical that his ash now is in a church. I feel kind of guilty for not ‘fighting’ for him but over the considerations of 是死人的意愿重要还是活人的意愿重要，I kept quiet to give peace to the living, esp when I am not blood-related to him (maybe if blood-related, I will ‘fight’.)

I am in my second mourning of the loss of my classmate who passed on over the weekend. Two deaths of good friends within 3 months are a bit heavy for me to digest.

尘归尘，土归土 - seems easy but can be difficult even after a person is no longer around.

RIP, my beloved friends. 一路走好…

sushi88:

It is a good example for people to understand this fact:

Views and opinions are very easy to give, especially in today's society, even easier to demand the rights to speak due to various social media. It runs like tap water but the precursor to views and opinions is knowing the facts...otherwise it sounds like tap water dripping non-stop.
tick tock tick tock....

Oh...this point I supported 100%...

this speech is interesting:



Debi Jackson, Mother Of Transgender Child, Gives Moving Speech

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/1 ... 88149.html

Two transgender children struggle to be themselves

http://globalnews.ca/news/1014495/two-t ... hemselves/

sushi88:

insider eh,


you read widely... read this and connect the dots:

I understand where you are coming from but perhaps you also have to understand where the writers and people like me are coming from.

They pulping this kind of beautiful books.


I also really feel so heartache for the creators of the books.


http://i61.tinypic.com/j998p0.png\">

http://i57.tinypic.com/343izbr.jpg\">

source:
http://www.amazon.com/Whos-In-My-Family ... 0763636312

dimsum:

hquek:

I also getting very confused. Always thought NLB actions were because the books had alternate type families - same gender parents, or same gender couples, NOT because single parent family.


Single parent families are not frowned upon, in fact, I believe there are govtal and NGOs who reach out to help these.

Why these pp confusing the issues? I thought they supposed to be learned? Or maybe my learning not enough.

Exactly! We all know the reason for NLB to ban the books, it was never against single parent families.

hquek and dimsum

I think NLB went overboard by also 'pulping' this kind of books that touches on diversity with no intention of pro-LGBT or whatever (as far as my interpretation is concerned):

Who's in my family
http://www.amazon.com/Whos-In-My-Family ... 0763636312


It is difficult to find a book that will exclude same-gender family if that book were to touch on family diversity. So, by wanting not to reflect same-gender family, NLB perhaps has to throw out other 'abnormal' family structures as well and thereby depriving families of other structures to have access to books that may depict their situations.

PS:
Books like the above is presumably a must-have in a preschool library for sharing with kids when in need if the school bothers and has the budget. Now NLB 'pulped' like this, also confusing all the academic teachings in the early childhood professional development sector.

Touch your heart and ask that all this kind of books have to be removed from NLB? Of course writers are in rage...


http://www.amazon.com/Who-Your-Family-S ... our+Family

Some of the families described include:
parent in the military
single parent
incarcerated parent
adoptive parents
foster parents
multicultural parents
same gender parents
terminally ill parents
and others