Club SAHM

[dnbll]

Hello there, Mommies!


Am a SAHM, have been so for almost 2 years now. Had been working in the technical field since graduation and had to reallly, really, really adjust during my first months as a SAHM in how to deal with my DS1. Been working way too much OT it seemed like my DS1 didn't know me anymore. He would prefer DH or his grandma to carry him instead of me. I think DS1 and i both had to adjust during those early months.

Sometimes i miss working and being a techie. Now i don't even know how to feel like a techie anymore. Can't help feeling \"useless\" and frustrated at times, too. But retail therapy helps a lot hahaha! :rahrah:

There are always ups and downs in being a SAHM. Like circle of friends becoming increasingly small. And there's the $$$ factor. However, spending time with the kids is really rewarding: seeing their faces light up in some new discovery; witnessing the raw happiness etched in their faces as they play; becoming their playmate and friend.

It's not easy being cooped up at home every day, though. Sometimes, there are just days i'd feel like going out somewhere and leave everything as is. But, of course, you'd have to make sure the kids are alright with the Grannies before zooming past and out the front door.

Anyway, am glad there's this section here for SAHMs! I think it's a great way to get views from the ones who've been at this longer, during the times when we aren't feeling oh-not-so-great. At the same time, sharing our own experiences might help others in some small way or another.

Glad to be here with you, Mommies! :celebrate:

[auntieM]

:celebrate: Hello there dnbll!

[dnbll]

Hi, auntieM! Nice to \"meet\" you here!

[buds]

dnbll:

Glad to be here with you, Mommies! :celebrate:

Fancy seeing you here, dnbll!

[dnbll]

buds:

Fancy seeing you here, dnbll!

Hey, there, buds! (Hail, buds, with the precious-precious loot for the kiddies!) :lol: So, we're in the same boat

[tanglin]

Hi all,


may i join in this thread too?
i'm a maidless SAHM of a 3.5 year old DS somewhere in Bishan.
like someone has mentioned earlier on, my own circle of friends has shrunk while my DS has been meeting more new friends (he's in N2 now).
and SAHMs seem to be a rare find these days - the handful that i've known have all returned to work! so hope to meet more of you here!

[autumnbronze]

tanglin:

Hi all,


may i join in this thread too?
i'm a maidless SAHM of a 3.5 year old DS somewhere in Bishan.
like someone has mentioned earlier on, my own circle of friends has shrunk while my DS has been meeting more new friends (he's in N2 now).
and SAHMs seem to be a rare find these days - the handful that i've known have all returned to work! so hope to meet more of you here!

Hi tanglin,

I am a SAHM too, of a 2 and a half yr old. We live in Serangoon area and frequent the Bishan lib alot. I also shop at NTUC there

The 2 that I am particularly close with are not in Spore

But hey, have you tried making frds with DS's frds' mummies??

[tanglin]

Hi Autumnbronze,


*wave*
good to know that you hang out around Bishan too. we used to frequent the library before DS starts school.

not so much with his nursery classmates, because there wasn't really much opportunities to interact. some of the kids in his class come by school bus whereas others are dropped off at the school gate by car, so i hardly get to see his classmate's parents on a daily basis. instead, we've made a couple of friends around my neighbourhood when DS was still a toddler, and we still try to keep in contact. just that they are mostly working moms with >1 kids & so have little time to socialise.

[buds]

Heyya there tanglin! Welcome to Club SAHM.

I've been SAHM for quite awhile..... almost 8-ish
years. I have the usual kakis i hang out with for
makan outings, holiday outings and shopping....

There are playdate friends and then there are also
old colleagues & ex-school buddies as well... While
friends are aplenty, true friends are rare...

Those that can go the thick and thin with ya... & the
ones that can go no-holds barred kinda conversation
about every thing under the sun and this same friends
are the non-judgmental kind... :hugs: Thank god for such
true friends & i'm blessed with the few rare-gem-of-a-friend,
that are almost like family to me. Having physical friends helps
us SAHMs be current... be interesting... helps us off-load and break
away from the day's routine... and definitely help us keep up with the
adult dictionary.

I find SAHM trends are not really declining cause where i live there are
quite a handful whom i hang out with while waiting for our children and
some even form their own badminton groups and gym days together....

It is important to have a life out of this SAHM life. Cause sometimes for
some of us, we can get too involved.. revolving around our children & our
family until we forget to be evolving with the rest out there. I have found
out the hard way, that to be a happy and successful SAHM is not just to
centre my life around my family but to start with being happy myself and
doing stuff that makes me happy... so that i too can exude the same
happiness to all others around me. While things are starting to look
up for me a bit these days, i'm still trying to evolve.. :hugs:

Other than ME time... i truly find couple time is also as important.
Fussing around the family all the time with meals... homework.....
isn't really 'spending time' after a while... It becomes routine. And
with all other routines, it becomes stagnantly boring.. We try to
break away from such routines by having the occasional movie nite..
game nites.. or having dinner outside and some window shopping....

I believe a happy me, will make a happy mommy and a happy wifey..
These days, i'm adjusting to putting myself first before others for i have
taken care so much for others that i have unnoticably forgotten to take
care of myself.. So, me myself and i... 1st! Hahaa! :lol:

I'm still trying to get there...

I'm learning from everyone here.. :snuggles:

Ya guys pitch in, yah! What makes YOU happy?
YOU as in yourself and not the SAHM-you okie?

[dnbll]

buds:

Ya guys pitch in, yah! What makes YOU happy?

YOU as in yourself and not the SAHM-you okie?

This is a good question, buds. And it's taking me a while to think of the answer. Somehow, i get the feeling that i don't know the \"me\" anymore; like i've shed off being me, put on hold temporarily, and when i try to, i can't find my way back. Has anyone here among the mummies felt the same way?

I love being with my kids, no question about it; but sometimes, things just can be too routine.

Having kids totally alters parents' lives - priorities are changed or dropped altogether to make for new ones; goals are reset; focus is put more on the future of the little ones. And these are all good, because we as parents learn to adapt and prepare for what lies ahead. We learn to be selfless.

I guess parents would naturally place all their attention to their very young and dependent offsprings and think less of themselves (the parents) or their wants. And am guessing, too, that as the children grow and learn to take care of themselves, the parents would, little by little, think of their own selves again. Or, at least, that's what i hope for Like, now, take care of my toddlers first; later on, when they've grown up a bit, then i can pursue whatever i've missed out on or put on hold. Hmmm...there's a time and a season for every thing

To come back to the question...for now, at the moment, here's what i want: to have a day/night out with my girl friends - get dressed up (dump the houseclothes), watch a chick flick (and drool over the sexy hunk actor ) or any feel-good movie, share and talk about everything and nothing (including gossip, maybe?), over a cup (or cups) of coffee (and cake, of course!). Oh, well!


Thanks, buds, for such an insightful question! Hoping to hear the answers from other mummies as well.