Will you give up your job if your kid wants you to stay?

[san76]

buds:

Yah, that part very true. Its the take it or leave it syndrome.

You don't want, many many other people WANT! The current
company don't have Singapore branch?


And san76, i am always awake.... :roll:

Dear Buds,

No branch here. Everything is too expensive. I want fatter pocket, fatter tummy in the future. I can don work, my hub pay is enough for the family. I worked all my way up, giving up now.... aiyah, how to say? Very very reluctant. Want to give up, hard. Dont want to give up, harder. Son wants me to give up, how? This is still in my mind. I cant give myself a reason to give up.

You dont zzzz? You will be tired. I am awake bcos other people are awake in other country. I need to talk to them. Then morning time try to catch some nap in between. With my son around, cant even wink wink. He is so active, I want to zzz also hard. Leave S'pore better prospect. Here must see the boss face and like you say, you dont want others WANT. This type of attitude how?

[jedamum]

san76:

I cant give myself a reason to give up.

san76,
I think you already have an answer for yourself
there are a lot of discussion http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1338&start=0 regarding whether to work a not.

san76:

I worked all my way up, giving up now.... aiyah, how to say?

i worked all the way up too...didn't fly frequently like you, but spent most time at work doing overtime. but gave up in the end, not cos my boy wants me to stay at home...it's because he didn't want me to stay at home...he wants me to continue to work so that I will not 'force' him to do things that he didn't like when I was at home (ie going to school... :roll: ). do i want my son to grow up not wanting me to be by his side? that was the wake-up call for me.

different situation calls for different remedy...for yours, maybe you can explore other options...eg, communicate via web when you are away etc...how old is your kid?

[OCEAN]

Hi Buds

Why are you always awake? Are you suffering from some form of sleep disorder? Please take care!

Hi San76
Just now my dh call my office and scolded me for not waking up my ds and say good bye to him before I left home for work. My ds was screaming and crying and hitting my dh at the other end of the phone. I thought he suppose to be a grown up boy already and he had not have enough rest during the weekdays. Somemore he told me yesterday he was rated no. 1 (best behaviour) in class. I just want to tell that you have to find a way to balance your life between work and family.

Regards,
OCEAN

[san76]

OCEAN:

Hi San76
I just want to tell that you have to find a way to balance your life between work and family.

Regards,
OCEAN

Dearest Ocean,

Me, how to balance my job and family. My HQ is in HK. I amalways there and in the middleeast. I fly very very very frequently. Though I may be in HK office, but I will still fly to many other countries then back to HQ. After all the handover, I will fly home on my own expense and stay here for 1wk just to clear my off in lieu.

Now I am on leave, but still have to be awake in the middle of the night to communicate to clients in different countries. So, now I can see my family and do my mails and work from home. Soon I will have to fly off again. There is no fix time when to come back or when not to come back. Sometime From HK, via Singapore (1day) via Indonesia. I will take this 1 day to come back then fly again.

So now I think of ending this job bcos my son wants me to stay and he wants to see me everyday.

The problem is how to end? I like my job, I love my family. How?
Juggling between work and family is no issue if I work in Spore. Then working here pay is so little, no exposure, no freedom to explore.

How? :?

[san76]

jedamum:

[

different situation calls for different remedy...for yours, maybe you can explore other options...eg, communicate via web when you are away etc...how old is your kid?

Dear Jedamum,

What you said is very true, bcos of this that is why I want to stay here and not fly. Each time I fly back is bcos of him. A call from him, I will fly back even just for the wkend. It really cost me about $480 to fly here and back HK. I dont want to miss his childhood. I know when he grows older, he wont want to stick to me like \"glue\" He will be busy with friends........ He dont need me.

My son is 7yr old. Very mature and obedient boy. He is so loving, when I hurt myself, he will say\" Pain? Do you need medicine? Please be more careful next time ok?\" He said these when he was in K1or K2.

When he felt upset, he will keep in him till I fly back 1 month later and tell me the incident. Ohhhh, I really feel so sad now. Dont know what to do? I know I have to make the decision, Giving up I cant bare to let go.

Think think a bit more. My head is swelling each time I think of this issue. I had left him since he was 2yrs old.

[luvmum]

Hi san76,


To share..my hubby used to travel a lot as he is doing regional sales..that's for the last 9 years until this yr where he quitted and looked for another job with no travelling though work later than before. I've been yakking and nagging him as it's too tiring for me to look after 2 kids after work and shuttling up and down my mum's place to fetch them. Life is a lot better knowing he is ard all the time and I won't need to face family circumstances all by myself. It's a huge difference I feel and I'm certain your boy will feel that too. So really worth considering... :ugogirl:

Of late, the idea of quitting from my current job swam back. After my recent promotion, things changed a lot. Heavy workload aside, my boss is demanding more from me and getting more scoldings from him. Last week had a harsh one from me that makes me cry so badly. Both my kids are under my mum's care and to be frank, I can't expect anything more than just childcaring. An e.g. Potty train my little boy. He was trained at my own hse but back to my mum hse.... so sometimes feel v helpless tat there is not much support. Oso after work, really damn tired, still must squeeze time to coach my elder on her schoolwork, no time for my little boy and end up feeling drained, tired and shagged out! But at this current situation, quitting job seems ridiculous, isn't it???

[heutistmeintag]

Some food for thoughts


1) What do you need, rather than want? Do you need to see him growing up, be around to guide him? Or do you need the job satisfaction, fatter pocket etc? Which can you live without?

2) If you travel often, could your hubby be around to look after and care for him?

3) Comparing either decision you may make, which do you think you will regret more?

4) Could you have a temporary scale-down role and you can get back to career after your \"break\"? I understand some companies may not take kindly to such arrangement.

A few of my friends' wives (bank VP, marketing director etc) even took a 1-4 year break to look after their kids. Their rationale - kids only have a few years of childhood, you miss it and it's gone and 1-4 years is only a fraction in a 30+ years of career. ok, I am not discriminating against the mothers. I myself was prepared to quit my job for 1 year to solve my son's problem even though I earn much more than my wife. Luckily my boss counterproposed that I worked from home and keep an eye on him. So either mom or dad has to be prepared to make sacrifices when it comes to the crunch. For my case, it was easier because it was a need, not want anymore.

Hope I didnt confuse you further in your decision making.

[Poonie]

My kids are 7 and 8. I’ve once been thru this dilemma too. MIL even enticed me to quit my job by paying me my last drawn salary. I’m glad I made the right choice. I actually turned down an overseas posting (even though I could bring my kids and maid along) subsequently even switched to a less demanding job with no travelling, no after-hours work and slight pay-cut but I have absolutely no regrets as I am happier now as I have found a balanced life. I used to reach home late and by then my kids were already in bed and most of the times on weekends my mind was either on work or I was physically working on the pc.


Besides in our family, you have more say if you have more pay so that means you better work, be it with husband or MIL. MIL treat you better if you have an education and work. Over here, MIL will try to pay you not to work for the sake of her grand chidlren but mind you you will eventually become powerless as you will be at her mercy when it comes to decision-making on matters. So I decided to continue to work but chose a less-demanding job.

[csc]

Hi all


Let us look at it from another perspective.

I am a SAHM with 2 kids into their teens. Now that, they are rather independent and spend most of their time in school, I've been asked the same question.

\"So will you quit your job as a SAHM and return to the workforce?\"

Quite a number of my friends who have teenage children have actually returned to the work force, one by one, either working part-time or full-time. In fact, one friend has just started to miss her \"freedom\" and is looking forward to the end of her one-year contract.

I can return to my previous job if I want to - cos it's not affected by the recession.

BUT - I'm getting too comfortable with my present status and the 'perks' it brings - especially now.

May consider working part-time though...but on one condition that - the job must not tire me out so badly that I am not in a position to relate to my children when they are home from a long day at school. :lol:

[san76]

Dearest all dad and mom out there,


I have no issue with taking care of my son he is taken care by my parnets and his studies is good. He can manage without me. I left him for work when he was 4 mths old.

Guess you all are right, time. I should think of a way to balance him and travel. Now I am back bcos of his SA1 and spend time with him. He did me very proud when he and his group got first in chinese poem among all the P1s.

Then again, I started to think back, if I leave, how? All my jobs in hand will be half done, what will my customers think? They will be neither here nor there. I know, nobody is indispensable, but my responsibilties and commitment towards my boss and clients

No matter what, I will have to end some where, but how to tell my boss??? This is the hardest thing for me to open my mouth. he gave me the freedom to fly home or freedom to work on my own time own target. How how...... This job doesnt allow me to work from home. Got to meet clients of different countries and exhibitions.

THANK YOU for all your brain-storming.

:thankyou:

:oops: Feel so bad to open my mouth!!!!!