Will you give up your job if your kid wants you to stay?

[san76]

Dear Buds,


Thank you, I really want to stay here. But tell you honestly, Singapore pay is so much lesser, 50% lesser. Will I regret if I really give up?
I thinking earn as much as I can then stay here shake legs with my family.

I had stayed here for 1mth (dec08) bcos of my son. Rreally bored and aiyo, so many housework to do. Must cook, wash, clean, change, mop, wipe, many many more...... I cant cook, but only western food no problem. My son in Dec eating my cooking till he sian. Western food, pasta, cakes and cookies and muffins all these I can do very well. Proper meal, forget it. Taste awful.

Can I ask, why are you still awake? Owl? Better zzz early, or you will miss your beauty sleep.

Lets read more other point of view.

Have a great weekend. :celebrate:

[san76]

buds:

Heyya san76,


Working, but in Singapore maybe a better option for
now.

Just me.

Buds,

Tell you 1 thing, now market is so bad here. Many people are out of job. How to find job here? Now is employers WORLD!!!!! They will pay less, 'You want you take' this type of attitude. Stress.

[buds]

Yah, that part very true. Its the take it or leave it syndrome.

You don't want, many many other people WANT! The current
company don't have Singapore branch?

If its the $$$ for future you're thinking of, then better not quit.
Especially if both you and spouse MUST work...
But at the expense of sacrificing.. watching your child grow up.

Want to watch your child grow, then gotta get used to the chores! :roll:
And a flatter pocket! But a fatter tummy from all the western
cuisine.

Life is like that lah, huh.. Always choices to make..

And san76, i am always awake.... :roll:

[san76]

buds:

Yah, that part very true. Its the take it or leave it syndrome.

You don't want, many many other people WANT! The current
company don't have Singapore branch?


And san76, i am always awake.... :roll:

Dear Buds,

No branch here. Everything is too expensive. I want fatter pocket, fatter tummy in the future. I can don work, my hub pay is enough for the family. I worked all my way up, giving up now.... aiyah, how to say? Very very reluctant. Want to give up, hard. Dont want to give up, harder. Son wants me to give up, how? This is still in my mind. I cant give myself a reason to give up.

You dont zzzz? You will be tired. I am awake bcos other people are awake in other country. I need to talk to them. Then morning time try to catch some nap in between. With my son around, cant even wink wink. He is so active, I want to zzz also hard. Leave S'pore better prospect. Here must see the boss face and like you say, you dont want others WANT. This type of attitude how?

[jedamum]

san76:

I cant give myself a reason to give up.

san76,
I think you already have an answer for yourself
there are a lot of discussion http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1338&start=0 regarding whether to work a not.

san76:

I worked all my way up, giving up now.... aiyah, how to say?

i worked all the way up too...didn't fly frequently like you, but spent most time at work doing overtime. but gave up in the end, not cos my boy wants me to stay at home...it's because he didn't want me to stay at home...he wants me to continue to work so that I will not 'force' him to do things that he didn't like when I was at home (ie going to school... :roll: ). do i want my son to grow up not wanting me to be by his side? that was the wake-up call for me.

different situation calls for different remedy...for yours, maybe you can explore other options...eg, communicate via web when you are away etc...how old is your kid?

[OCEAN]

Hi Buds

Why are you always awake? Are you suffering from some form of sleep disorder? Please take care!

Hi San76
Just now my dh call my office and scolded me for not waking up my ds and say good bye to him before I left home for work. My ds was screaming and crying and hitting my dh at the other end of the phone. I thought he suppose to be a grown up boy already and he had not have enough rest during the weekdays. Somemore he told me yesterday he was rated no. 1 (best behaviour) in class. I just want to tell that you have to find a way to balance your life between work and family.

Regards,
OCEAN

[san76]

OCEAN:

Hi San76
I just want to tell that you have to find a way to balance your life between work and family.

Regards,
OCEAN

Dearest Ocean,

Me, how to balance my job and family. My HQ is in HK. I amalways there and in the middleeast. I fly very very very frequently. Though I may be in HK office, but I will still fly to many other countries then back to HQ. After all the handover, I will fly home on my own expense and stay here for 1wk just to clear my off in lieu.

Now I am on leave, but still have to be awake in the middle of the night to communicate to clients in different countries. So, now I can see my family and do my mails and work from home. Soon I will have to fly off again. There is no fix time when to come back or when not to come back. Sometime From HK, via Singapore (1day) via Indonesia. I will take this 1 day to come back then fly again.

So now I think of ending this job bcos my son wants me to stay and he wants to see me everyday.

The problem is how to end? I like my job, I love my family. How?
Juggling between work and family is no issue if I work in Spore. Then working here pay is so little, no exposure, no freedom to explore.

How? :?

[san76]

jedamum:

[

different situation calls for different remedy...for yours, maybe you can explore other options...eg, communicate via web when you are away etc...how old is your kid?

Dear Jedamum,

What you said is very true, bcos of this that is why I want to stay here and not fly. Each time I fly back is bcos of him. A call from him, I will fly back even just for the wkend. It really cost me about $480 to fly here and back HK. I dont want to miss his childhood. I know when he grows older, he wont want to stick to me like \"glue\" He will be busy with friends........ He dont need me.

My son is 7yr old. Very mature and obedient boy. He is so loving, when I hurt myself, he will say\" Pain? Do you need medicine? Please be more careful next time ok?\" He said these when he was in K1or K2.

When he felt upset, he will keep in him till I fly back 1 month later and tell me the incident. Ohhhh, I really feel so sad now. Dont know what to do? I know I have to make the decision, Giving up I cant bare to let go.

Think think a bit more. My head is swelling each time I think of this issue. I had left him since he was 2yrs old.

[luvmum]

Hi san76,


To share..my hubby used to travel a lot as he is doing regional sales..that's for the last 9 years until this yr where he quitted and looked for another job with no travelling though work later than before. I've been yakking and nagging him as it's too tiring for me to look after 2 kids after work and shuttling up and down my mum's place to fetch them. Life is a lot better knowing he is ard all the time and I won't need to face family circumstances all by myself. It's a huge difference I feel and I'm certain your boy will feel that too. So really worth considering... :ugogirl:

Of late, the idea of quitting from my current job swam back. After my recent promotion, things changed a lot. Heavy workload aside, my boss is demanding more from me and getting more scoldings from him. Last week had a harsh one from me that makes me cry so badly. Both my kids are under my mum's care and to be frank, I can't expect anything more than just childcaring. An e.g. Potty train my little boy. He was trained at my own hse but back to my mum hse.... so sometimes feel v helpless tat there is not much support. Oso after work, really damn tired, still must squeeze time to coach my elder on her schoolwork, no time for my little boy and end up feeling drained, tired and shagged out! But at this current situation, quitting job seems ridiculous, isn't it???

[heutistmeintag]

Some food for thoughts


1) What do you need, rather than want? Do you need to see him growing up, be around to guide him? Or do you need the job satisfaction, fatter pocket etc? Which can you live without?

2) If you travel often, could your hubby be around to look after and care for him?

3) Comparing either decision you may make, which do you think you will regret more?

4) Could you have a temporary scale-down role and you can get back to career after your \"break\"? I understand some companies may not take kindly to such arrangement.

A few of my friends' wives (bank VP, marketing director etc) even took a 1-4 year break to look after their kids. Their rationale - kids only have a few years of childhood, you miss it and it's gone and 1-4 years is only a fraction in a 30+ years of career. ok, I am not discriminating against the mothers. I myself was prepared to quit my job for 1 year to solve my son's problem even though I earn much more than my wife. Luckily my boss counterproposed that I worked from home and keep an eye on him. So either mom or dad has to be prepared to make sacrifices when it comes to the crunch. For my case, it was easier because it was a need, not want anymore.

Hope I didnt confuse you further in your decision making.