Any parents of gifted children here ?
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tamarind:
I don't think there are any fixed set of characteristics that a gifted child should have. I think generally a gifted child has superb memory and learn things very quickly. ...
OK, from the wiki definition you included, I guess I'm about as gifted as Forrest Gump. Phew. At least I can stop being annoyed at my mother (bless her soul) for not trying to develop my \"gifts\" early with all sorts of enrichment programmes. She was always telling me and my sisters how if she was educated she would have better smarter than LKY, so I took her word for it and found out after 17 years of burning midnight oil with books that she was either very mistaken or I was just not made of the same stuff as her.
Fortunately I grew out of the sensitive stage by growing additional fats and thicker skin such that I don't feel my labels no more. And the army has a way with dealing with squeamish and wimpy recruits by ensuring that the cookhouse food tastes worse than the pythons and chickens we have had to throttle, barbeque and ingest. Just make sure you don't look into their eyes when you swing them by their necks. And of course like heutistmeintag says, avoid fraternizing with them or making them your pets lest you have problems eating your friends... err ... food.
That leaves me as sensitive, perfectionistic and as anal retentive as ever, which are by no means indicators of giftedness (Thanks jedamum!). And thank you wwcookie and lizawa, but I'm not bright either, which you would have noticed from my inability to do my son's P3 math in the way the teacher wants him to do. If you see some fat guy in front of you at the char kway teow store gingerly taking the grimy change from the cashier and sorting them nicely by denomination and correct facing before insertion into his wallet... that could well be me. Everything must be in its correct place - I go to pieces when I lose something because it is not in its right place and I have to waste time looking for it. My wife thinks I'm mental sometimes and I don't blame her... so ZacK can relax because you are not the first to suggest that I belong to a certain class of people :).
So some things you grow out of, and some you don't. To breguet I would recommend patience, since we have to take every child with his/her strengths and weakness as a package, and that completeness is perfection in itself. For what diamond is desirable without the flaws that make it unique.
We have all been blessed with beautiful children with different traits... some with talents that are recognized as desirable qualities or \"gifts\" by society... others with strengths that are not so marketable, but nonetheless are God-given talents. Perhaps we should spend less time focusing on how we can maximize the output from our children's \"desirable\" talents (which appear to be the underlying goals of the GEP), and more time in helping them understand how all their talents (including the not-so-\"recognized\" ones) can be applied to make the world a better place for everyone to live in. The last thing we need in this country is a distinct segregation of the \"gifted\" from the \"rest\", or to permeate a culture that celebrates only \"useful\" talents. -
ChiefKiasu:
Well said indeed ! ... To say that you are not gifted, in your own way, would be gross injustice to you.tamarind:
I don't think there are any fixed set of characteristics that a gifted child should have. I think generally a gifted child has superb memory and learn things very quickly. ...
OK, from the wiki definition you included, I guess I'm about as gifted as Forrest Gump. Phew. At least I can stop being annoyed at my mother (bless her soul) for not trying to develop my \"gifts\" early with all sorts of enrichment programmes. She was always telling me and my sisters how if she was educated she would have better smarter than LKY, so I took her word for it and found out after 17 years of burning midnight oil with books that she was either very mistaken or I was just not made of the same stuff as her.
Fortunately I grew out of the sensitive stage by growing additional fats and thicker skin such that I don't feel my labels no more. And the army has a way with dealing with squeamish and wimpy recruits by ensuring that the cookhouse food tastes worse than the pythons and chickens we have had to throttle, barbeque and ingest. Just make sure you don't look into their eyes when you swing them by their necks. And of course like heutistmeintag says, avoid fraternizing with them or making them your pets lest you have problems eating your friends... err ... food.
That leaves me as sensitive, perfectionistic and as anal retentive as ever, which are by no means indicators of giftedness (Thanks jedamum!). And thank you wwcookie and lizawa, but I'm not bright either, which you would have noticed from my inability to do my son's P3 math in the way the teacher wants him to do. If you see some fat guy in front of you at the char kway teow store gingerly taking the grimy change from the cashier and sorting them nicely by denomination and correct facing before insertion into his wallet... that could well be me. Everything must be in its correct place - I go to pieces when I lose something because it is not in its right place and I have to waste time looking for it. My wife thinks I'm mental sometimes and I don't blame her... so ZacK can relax because you are not the first to suggest that I belong to a certain class of people :).
So some things you grow out of, and some you don't. To breguet I would recommend patience, since we have to take every child with his/her strengths and weakness as a package, and that completeness is perfection in itself. For what diamond is desirable without the flaws that make it unique.
We have all been blessed with beautiful children with different traits... some with talents that are recognized as desirable qualities or \"gifts\" by society... others with strengths that are not so marketable, but nonetheless are God-given talents. Perhaps we should spend less time focusing on how we can maximize the output from our children's \"desirable\" talents (which appear to be the underlying goals of the GEP), and more time in helping them understand how all their talents (including the not-so-\"recognized\" ones) can be applied to make the world a better place for everyone to live in. The last thing we need in this country is a distinct segregation of the \"gifted\" from the \"rest\", or to permeate a culture that celebrates only \"useful\" talents.
I certainly agree with you on your last two sentences
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Hurrah to that, Zack and CKS! Particularly, I like the last para of CKS' post.
I think most of you will agree - the most critical part about being a parent is to nurture the whole child, not just his/her special talents. What use are \"special talents\" if the child doesn't have integrity or cannot relate to the world? These issues are all the same regardless of whether the child has done well on some IQ test (lol!) or not.
Having said all that, there are quirks of some g (I dislike the word, actually. So elitist!) children for whom parents need help from other people who have btdt. Personally, I feel a bit pai seh to write because it can be seen as bragging. Of course I love the holy-guacamole-moments when he does some mental somersault. But it's the issues that go along with it (aptly called co-morbidities) that leave me speechless because my 5 yrs of parenthood hasn't equipped me to handle them. You can hear from the tone of some of us parents that we need advise and sympathy rather than congratulations
!!!
I do draw from CKS' very down to earth advice to stay steady though. For children, EVERYTHING is a phase and will pass! -
Anyway, isn’t the big test of life how happy and well adjusted you are as an adult rather than "I had an IQ of XWY when I was young" or "I was in some gifted programme in school"?
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ChiefKiasu:
clap clap clap clap clap!!! Standing ovation!!tamarind:
I don't think there are any fixed set of characteristics that a gifted child should have. I think generally a gifted child has superb memory and learn things very quickly. ...
OK, from the wiki definition you included, I guess I'm about as gifted as Forrest Gump. Phew. At least I can stop being annoyed at my mother (bless her soul) for not trying to develop my \"gifts\" early with all sorts of enrichment programmes. She was always telling me and my sisters how if she was educated she would have better smarter than LKY, so I took her word for it and found out after 17 years of burning midnight oil with books that she was either very mistaken or I was just not made of the same stuff as her.
Fortunately I grew out of the sensitive stage by growing additional fats and thicker skin such that I don't feel my labels no more. And the army has a way with dealing with squeamish and wimpy recruits by ensuring that the cookhouse food tastes worse than the pythons and chickens we have had to throttle, barbeque and ingest. Just make sure you don't look into their eyes when you swing them by their necks. And of course like heutistmeintag says, avoid fraternizing with them or making them your pets lest you have problems eating your friends... err ... food.
That leaves me as sensitive, perfectionistic and as anal retentive as ever, which are by no means indicators of giftedness (Thanks jedamum!). And thank you wwcookie and lizawa, but I'm not bright either, which you would have noticed from my inability to do my son's P3 math in the way the teacher wants him to do. If you see some fat guy in front of you at the char kway teow store gingerly taking the grimy change from the cashier and sorting them nicely by denomination and correct facing before insertion into his wallet... that could well be me. Everything must be in its correct place - I go to pieces when I lose something because it is not in its right place and I have to waste time looking for it. My wife thinks I'm mental sometimes and I don't blame her... so ZacK can relax because you are not the first to suggest that I belong to a certain class of people :).
So some things you grow out of, and some you don't. To breguet I would recommend patience, since we have to take every child with his/her strengths and weakness as a package, and that completeness is perfection in itself. For what diamond is desirable without the flaws that make it unique.
We have all been blessed with beautiful children with different traits... some with talents that are recognized as desirable qualities or \"gifts\" by society... others with strengths that are not so marketable, but nonetheless are God-given talents. Perhaps we should spend less time focusing on how we can maximize the output from our children's \"desirable\" talents (which appear to be the underlying goals of the GEP), and more time in helping them understand how all their talents (including the not-so-\"recognized\" ones) can be applied to make the world a better place for everyone to live in. The last thing we need in this country is a distinct segregation of the \"gifted\" from the \"rest\", or to permeate a culture that celebrates only \"useful\" talents. -
breguet:
Having said all that, there are quirks of some g (I dislike the word, actually. So elitist!) children for whom parents need help from other people who have btdt. Personally, I feel a bit pai seh to write because it can be seen as bragging. Of course I love the holy-guacamole-moments when he does some mental somersault. But it's the issues that go along with it (aptly called co-morbidities) that leave me speechless because my 5 yrs of parenthood hasn't equipped me to handle them. You can hear from the tone of some of us parents that we need advise and sympathy rather than congratulations
!!!!
You are so right breguet. My sentiments exactly! -
breguet:
Anyway, isn't the big test of life how happy and well adjusted you are as an adult rather than \"I had an IQ of XWY when I was young\" or \"I was in some gifted programme in school\"?
I totally agree with you. What is most important to me is that my boy leads a happy and well adjusted life, not how smart he is. -
breguet:
I think most of you will agree - the most critical part about being a parent is to nurture the whole child, not just his/her special talents. What use are \"special talents\" if the child doesn't have integrity or cannot relate to the world? These issues are all the same regardless of whether the child has done well on some IQ test (lol!) or not.
Agreed! The least I want of my child is for him to be polite, kind, gracious, considerate and upright. I'll be comforted to know that he wont grow up to be a public enemy or do harm to society ... If he can be bright as well, then that is a bonus for me
I cannot reconcile how some parents I see in public have the view that their kids can do no wrong ... When their kids are obviously out-of-line in public and being a nuisance to others, these parents simply pretend as if there is nothing wrong with their behaviours. I find these parents being very socially irresponsible
My son gets a warning when he is out-of-line in public and if he does not behave after the warning... He gets carried away by me to a corner and usually he'll behave before I need to land my palm on his bum.
Kids need to know what behaviours are acceptable in public and what are not... If parents are not there to tell their kids how to behave, how then can we blame the child for not behaving the way we want them to in future :roll:breguet:
Aren't we all glad that we have a forum like this for parents to \"pool\" together their parenting experiences so that we need not \"reinvent the wheel\" :oops:Having said all that, there are quirks of some g (I dislike the word, actually. So elitist!) children for whom parents need help from other people who have btdt. Personally, I feel a bit pai seh to write because it can be seen as bragging. Of course I love the holy-guacamole-moments when he does some mental somersault. But it's the issues that go along with it (aptly called co-morbidities) that leave me speechless because my 5 yrs of parenthood hasn't equipped me to handle them. You can hear from the tone of some of us parents that we need advise and sympathy rather than congratulations
!!!
I do draw from CKS' very down to earth advice to stay steady though. For children, EVERYTHING is a phase and will pass! -
wwcookie:
Same for me... Recently there was this article on the Malaysian Maths prodigy who went to Oxford at age 13 and is now selling her body for $$$.breguet:
Anyway, isn't the big test of life how happy and well adjusted you are as an adult rather than \"I had an IQ of XWY when I was young\" or \"I was in some gifted programme in school\"?
I totally agree with you. What is most important to me is that my boy leads a happy and well adjusted life, not how smart he is.
Sad example of how being gifted does not guarantee a life of happiness and being able to integrate into the society.
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/3/31/nation/20798773&sec=nation -
ChiefKiasu:
I want to clarify that I did not start this thread to suggest a segregation of the \"gifted\" from the \"rest\". In fact, I have written in earlier posts that I do not think that the GEP is a good program. I do not think that gifted children should be separated from other children.
We have all been blessed with beautiful children with different traits... some with talents that are recognized as desirable qualities or \"gifts\" by society... others with strengths that are not so marketable, but nonetheless are God-given talents. Perhaps we should spend less time focusing on how we can maximize the output from our children's \"desirable\" talents (which appear to be the underlying goals of the GEP), and more time in helping them understand how all their talents (including the not-so-\"recognized\" ones) can be applied to make the world a better place for everyone to live in. The last thing we need in this country is a distinct segregation of the \"gifted\" from the \"rest\", or to permeate a culture that celebrates only \"useful\" talents.
I know there are children out there who are significantly different from the rest. For example, I know of a young girl who can remember the spelling of a word after reading it only once. A boy who can read books with no pictures at 3 years old. I also know of cases where a highly gifted child is not properly developed and is burnt out even before entering primary school.
These children are born with amazing abilities. Only if their talents are developed properly, then they can make the world a better place. May be develop a cure for cancer ?
Such children also have different emotional needs. My girl started to worry about my safety when she was 3 years old. One day when she knew that the lift was faulty, she called me(at work) a few times to warn me not to take that lift, and she also lost interest in playing until I returned home safely. At that age, when she lost a Reversi game to me, she was in deep sorrow and cried like there was no tomorrow. I realized that I have handled the situation very badly.
I started this thread only to learn how other parents handle their gifted children.
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