Extra Marital Affair

[buds]

3Boys:

it would appear that infidelity is not the province of married MEN only anymore. Married WOMEN too seem to want their share of variety. One could say its a sign of gender equality................

Yap, true. Thanks for the correction.
Was swayed by more of the postings
from the women folk here about their
men's infidelities.

3Boys:

I was reading today about how girls as young as 14 are participating in sexual activity, and indeed sometimes baiting the boys/men. As the current laws stand, the boy/man in this situation will be at a disadvantage.

There's no supply without demand.

3Boys:

Parents, its not just the girls you have to watch out for, you've got to make sure your boys are not taken advantage off sexually by girls too.

Older experienced girls may come on strong to a virginal boy. Agree.

[Andaiz]

buds:

Older experienced girls may come on strong to a virginal boy. Agree.

Yep, remember the case of the female teacher and her male student? The sickening bit is that it isn't just in the wonderful land of US of A. It's happening in our own backyard too - the little red dot!

[apple79]

I learnt a lot from the posts here esp from insider.


Reminded me that we should not be over protective over our kids although this is a thread on EMA.

[Honey]

buds:

RRMummy:

..willing parties is one case.. then there are those who become victims due to their idiotic partners..

Agree.
Nuff said.

Now that we are on this topic of swingers, I recall recalling an article in a magazine about this lady. Her hubby kept wanting her to join the swingers club with him. Even tho' she initially found the idea sickening, she finally gave in to please her husband. Guess what? After a few rounds of sleeping around, her husband told her how cheap she was & he left her for another woman ! In the first place, it was his idea for her to sleeping with other partners & maybe she thought that by complying, she could keep her marriage but how wrong she was!

[PlayfulFairy]

Hi Insider,


I gotta salute you for your courage for sharing with us and forgiving and moving on! :celebrate:

[3Boys]

Honey:

Now that we are on this topic of swingers, I recall recalling an article in a magazine about this lady. Her hubby kept wanting her to join the swingers club with him. Even tho' she initially found the idea sickening, she finally gave in to please her husband. Guess what? After a few rounds of sleeping around, her husband told her how cheap she was & he left her for another woman ! In the first place, it was his idea for her to sleeping with other partners & maybe she thought that by complying, she could keep her marriage but how wrong she was!

At the end of the day, you've got to respect your own body. In the heat of the moment, the hubby may think its such a wonderful idea, but forgetting he is effectively 'pimping' his wife to other men. How many men can really be comfortable with the idea of other men having sex with their wives? In the asian context, very very few, I suspect. Wives must stand firm on this if they find it repugnant, until their idiot husbands come around to their senses.

Call me old fashioned, but one can really see where the biblical injunctions and admonishments against sex outside of the marriage really sets the tone for protection of the relationship between husband and wife, and secures the family unit.

[cluelessmom]

insider:

.

The incidence was many years back. It does have a kind of shadow in me but it’s not such a bad one. I reconciled with X too and today we are still the best of friends. My husband and X still will meet now and then during festivals and occasions but I doubt anything will happen between them again as both should have learnt their lessons.

Given an incidence like this, I can choose to lose both my husband and my best friend or choose to have them both. Having them both still makes me a much happier person…

Dear Insider, thank u for sharing ur story wif us..... it's one thing to forgive DH but it takes a big big loving heart to be able to forgive a bestie tat has commited such an unforgivable act and the wound is cut deeper by virtue of her being such close friend...... not to mention still meeting each other every now and then...... how can still trust a frd like tat???? I wud nvr be able to forgive her and probably buy a voodoo doll and stick pins all over her hahaha :ugogirl:

[Windy]

Insider, I salute again and I am very touch after reading it. It really make me think twice about my move. But my husband had ONS in April last year which I had ever forgave him. Then started from April 08 till 10 Aug 09, he had an affair with a china pro with many intimacy at hotel 81 and heard that he had intimacy not only with one pro but many. I saw all the pro name in his HP. He still want to go out for drinking everynight although now he promised to come home and check my children school work before he go out. ONS I can forgive, even the pass affair, I can forgive, but moving forward he still insist to go drinking everynight and still carry the spare HP with many pro contact no. If I still forgive him and let him go everynight, will he turn to me and said he want to divorce when I am 50 years old. Those pro only 21 years old, he is 23yrs older than them. How to forgive???

[Windy]

Thanks alot Insider! I will stay cool and think about my move again. You are right that I still love my husband and keep forgiving him for whatever he did to me and also worry about my children, my main concern. Will try to talk to my HB to an agreement and monitor him for a fews more months. If he cannot change, I need to change and accept him as what he is. Giving everybody a chance, my husband, my children and myself.

[Ahmih]

My sympathy to Windy, it's really hard to live with someone who doesn't spare a thought for her feelings.


My GF faces similar problems too. Her husband is an addict by nature, gamble, smoke, gaming, porn surfing and downloading (hobby), and visiting pros too. She found out his visits 3 years ago and that's when he trys to stop. So far, he has stopped visiting pros (hopefully this will last), apparently, he used to visit pros when they were dating, she wasn't aware back then, only found out after he was caught 3 years ago. And she did spot some sms in his hp to pimp after her discovery. That's why she can't be sure of his words. Her husband at time will MIA and later claim hp network failure. She has given up asking him to be available for contact.

Now to save their marriage, he told her he will give up porn totally (as wife couldn't stand porn, a constant reminder that her husband likes variety and their sex is poor). He will also not hit her, this started to happen when they argue (only after she found out about his trysts). Before he was never violent to her.

However, my GF checked his pc and found out he is still surfing porn. Mind you, we're talking about serious search and download for porn here, with multiple 360G harddisks for backups and download. They have 2 young children but she really feels like throwing in the towel now. She doesn't think she can withstand further betrayal. And she worries about her kids future too.

She said her husband comes back early every day and tries to fetch kids home, weekend always spend together as family time. There're rarely time for themselves as couple or individual. And he always say the family should stay intact for kids, which she doesn't object - just very scared and insecure that his action are momentary. My GF gets upset and uncomfortable whenever his glance drift to a young female target when they're out as a family. He accused her of paranoid and she felt he's not owning up to his acts.

He did previously say he won't do a lot of things, but each time, he eats his words. Also, it may appear that he loves the family that's why he wants to hang out so much, but she's not sure of that. He always told her, he turned down other outings to please her and make her feel secure what more does she wants? :roll: Love and respect lah!

Talk about still loving him, she can't answer that. She feels in her heart, they're better off as friends then spouse now. As friend, she can accept his weakness for young girls, as spouse, she can't. It'll always be at the back of her mind she said.

She's said the relationship has reach a plain, amicable stage and wonder if she should divorce now instead of trying to salvage something that might have been gone. She feels sure that if her marriage is stranded at this point, it's surely bound for future problems with women.

Wise Insider, what would you say? you said before, that we should be forgiving and look beyond flaws. Will she be thot of as a failure for opting to leave despite her husband has 'changed'? To stay is a default, to leave would be a choice that takes lots of courage.