All About Full-Time Maids
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jtoh:
omgmum, I had a maid who sang very loudly too. I tolerated it for a while but it really got on my nerves coz she sang indiscriminately, even when I'm on the phone. Finally I decided my home was my sanctuary and I shouldn't need to feel uncomfortable in my own home. So I told her no singing aloud while I was home. She probably sang when I was out, but that was fine with me.
So maybe the bad neighbour who does loud karaoke someone was talking about in the other threads is your maid? :evil:
I'm just wondering if pp will be worried when they suddenly hear singing floating in the air around your neighbourhood. The basis of many a scary story. -
eh, most of the maids are very good actresses too
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verykiasu2010:
eh, most of the maids are very good actresses too
Thought Only Mummies Will Comment on this aspect ....
Why U Say So?
Got Specific Incidents? -
Admummy:
oh yeah, forget to add on, when we confronted her about her \"vanity\" (i.e. changing clothes frequently)..she explained to us that the previous family she worked for is very concerned about appearances and will want her to look \"presentable\" wherever she is...so we put of message across that in Singapore it is different, T-shirt bermudas will do (unless going to special places) and only change once when bathe or dirty...from what i gathered the jakarta family that she work for could be someone reputable? no wonder she so good at table manner and can eat so elegantly...
It's also a personal thing. I've been living here for more than 10 years but I still refuse to go further than our local shops in bermudas & t-shirt. That's what I am comfortable with and how I was brought up and I don't care if people think I'm strange!
My maid will go to fetch the children from school in shorts but if she goes any further than that i.e. into town or even to follow them to swimming then go for dinner she will change into jeans or 3/4 length trousers. I leave it up to her as she is still a woman with her own pride & standards so I feel she has the right to do that. She just has to make sure she is ready to leave the house when we are. -
omgmum:
Yep - make sure your agent tells her that upfront. For those whose contract is under your DH's name, make sure your DH sets the stage right by telling the maid that it's the lady of the household that decides her employment.hquek,
Yeah, I think their mentality is that the male is the boss of the house. I was the one who talked to the maid all along so I assume that she knows that I'm her boss. Her work permit is also under my name. But maybe she doesn't know that. So for the next one, I think I have to tell her very clearly that I'm her boss and will pay her the money and not my husband! -
Admummy:
Admummy, you have done the right thing to make this matter transparent to your maid. Just an assurance it would be better to minute it in writing and make her sign and fill her portion of acknowledgement and commitment. Hope things turn out well for you.:thankyou: all who responded to my post...here's some update:
Had a heart to heart talk with her tog with hubby....told her that i am not satisfied with her performance since she is not fulfilling her duty as stated in the contract. Told her that she cannot cook, take care of my children (esp no. 3) and I don't feel her presence is helping me in anyway.
She was quite \"shocked\" (sort of like wake-up-call) and kancheong, requested us to give her another chance. Told us that she is happy working for us, will try her best to learn cooking and bond with the kids...I told her if she is not happy with me, i can always let her go since I am the BOSS here (thks to pointers from mummies, got to let her know I am the boss NOT my hubby...so here it goes, establishing my status here)...she immediately said no, m'am nice and said she want to continue with us since she need the money...She appeared quite sincere and geneuine...maybe she is too insensitive to feel that her performance is not \"up-to-standard\" until this meeting...
I am tired of the agony of reselecting maid and numerous trip to the maid agency...besides, i am not confident that the next one who comes along will be better...actually to be fair to hubby, he is not really \"siding\" her...in fact, he said if the maid is causing alot of unhappiness to me, he respect my decision to let go of her...However, he highlighted to me that I should not compare her with the earlier maid who has worked for us for 4yrs. This one is relatively young (although biodata stated 23 yrs old, she could be under 20)...Being young, she may not be as thoughtful, considerate and sensible than the previous one (married with kid and 27)...She is like any youngster out there, carefree, straight-thinking, impulsive, etc, hence she needs more \"pushing\" and must give clear, direct instruction... Should not expect her to take initiative or take for granted that she will consider safety of kids (e.g. like the toilet incident where she left my kid alone). well, i think what my hubby said make sense. so fine, my conclusion is to give her another chance..
After the meeting, i can see a lot of initiative from her, she will try to play with no. 3, try to take over no. 3 when i'm busy, etc. He seems to be a little receptive of her...of course, \"warnings\" from mummies about bb's \"gut\" feeling about not so nice people do make sense...so i will pay extra attention and make sure no harm is done to my kids...
i hope my decision is right :xedfingers:
...in any case, i have another 4.5mths to decide whether to change her i.e. free replacement within 6 mths.... -
parents, need your input here. How often did you let your maids call home during the loan period? And how long each time? How much do you actually spend on their calls home?
I bought a sim card for the maid and let her use about 5 to 6 times the first 2 weeks for sms as advised by the agent, and let her call back using prepaid card as well once a month. Too infrequent? At first I thought of letting her use it everyday after work but I realised that i would prob end up with a huge bill every month. So now it’s sms every week, call once a month and once loan is over, she will pay her own bills every and will get her phone every day.
I told her that she can write back as frequently as she wants to, but apparently writing letters isn’t in fashion anymore.
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And one more question: How do you make sure your maids stay sane? Let them watch TV? Let them read? Take them out with you most of the time?
I thought of getting a small TV for the maid to let her watch after she’s done for the day. Cos I don’t want to always take her out with us, and I want her to be able to relax at the end of the day as well. I’m more than willing to borrow books for them but am worried that like my current maid, the next one may not be into reading, or be very literate.
And anyone knows if there are any tagalog stations in singapore? My maid lost interest in the radio after a few days cos there are no tagalog stations. -
Admummy:
oh yeah, forget to add on, when we confronted her about her \"vanity\" (i.e. changing clothes frequently)..she explained to us that the previous family she worked for is very concerned about appearances and will want her to look \"presentable\" wherever she is...so we put of message across that in Singapore it is different, T-shirt bermudas will do (unless going to special places) and only change once when bathe or dirty...from what i gathered the jakarta family that she work for could be someone reputable? no wonder she so good at table manner and can eat so elegantly...
Maids working for rich Indon family don't get to eat with the employers on the same table. Agree they need to look neat and presentable but not \"flowery/fashionable\". Make a trip to Taka and you will see them tagging behind well-groomed Indon family.
As for me, I make it very clear to my maid on what should be an appropriate dressing for the \"job\". No low collar or tight fitting mid waist shirt, no low waist pants and no nightgown while working (my friend used to have a maid that walks around in bright red translucent gown when the man of the household is at home. This maid has been stealing her sexy lingerie too). They can dress up in fashion by all means when they go out during off days but definitely not during work.
Bottomline, we need to be very explicit upfront with the maid or it'll be hard to manage them later on - no rule no chenghu (gov) -
omgmum:
Hi Omgmum, wah, you are very generous. My maid bears all expenses to call - whether friends or home. She said she bought a pre-paid card $18 that include some data usage, thus able to communicate with family through facebook. On her off day, which is once a month, she would go to internet cafe to skype with family, like $4/hr. She has never asked to use our home phone and I leave it as it is.parents, need your input here. How often did you let your maids call home during the loan period? And how long each time? How much do you actually spend on their calls home?
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