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    How to manage a child who refuse to go to school

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Working With Your Child
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    • ChiefKiasuC Offline
      ChiefKiasu
      last edited by

      Good point jedamum! I have renamed the title to:

      "How To Manage a Child Who Refuse to go to School"

      My earlier note is to simply discourage ourselves from using physical force on children and to use creative ways to enforce discipline. Nothing to do with getting a child to go to school.

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      • C Offline
        chixchix
        last edited by

        thanks for the feedbacks… he has been going to school to 1 year now with my last maid…i got a new maid about 2 months ago…they do play with her…when my DH is not at home …there is no problem …he goes to school… but when DH is at home… he simply doesnt want to listen…and when he cries…he cries like someone has tortured him…uncontrollably for 10-15 mins…


        My DH doesnt advise him to go to school …he is like " dont disturb my morning sleep…if he doesnt want to go…its ok"

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        • M Offline
          mintcc
          last edited by

          hmmm is there some change in school? New teacher? New classroom? He doesn’t like the teacher? It happens to my nephew. Settle down in school already by the teacher and class room change and the new teacher very bo chap him. Has been crying whenever he needs to go school for a few weeks now. So may be you can go to school with him and see what it is like in the childcare. May need to consider changing childcare.


          Anyway, cannot let them get their way by crying. If they cry = no need to go school or eat medicine … then the next time they will know that they won’t have to do something as they cry lor. So for the next few times have to make him go even if he cries…

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          • G Offline
            Gmum
            last edited by

            [Moderator's Note: Topics merged.]


            Hi All,

            My gal 2.5yo now and she has been attending childcare for 6mths. Every morning when sending her to school, she tends to cry and reject joining the class. It is driving me nut. WHATshould I do and WHAT is wrong with her or the school? sigh....... 😞

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            • T Offline
              tamarind
              last edited by

              There is nothing wrong with your girl. She is still very young. Most kids at this age still do not know how to socialize with other kids, so they do not like to be away from their parents or caretakers. It is more likely that she has separation anxiety, not that she is rejecting school. She prefers to stay in the cozy and safe environment at home.


              Personally I think that if a very young child does not like to go to school or childcare centre, we should just keep her at home. I read somewhere that the child may feel that she has been abandoned in school, because she still does not understand that mommy will come back for her. This may have a negative effect on her when she grows up. It is best to send her there when she is older. I feel that 4 years old is a better age.

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              • ChiefKiasuC Offline
                ChiefKiasu
                last edited by

                One way could be to send the child for playgroups first instead of whole-day childcare. So they see it more as going for fun activities rather than being parked somewhere while their parents go off to some other places. You can slowly enhance it to whole-day childcare when they get used to the routine.

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                • G Offline
                  Gmum
                  last edited by

                  Afraid this wldnt happen without any help… I am a working mum and my parent both working, my in-law always busy with her own plan… that is part of reason why I am sending my little gal to whole day care. Anyway, thanks for your advise. Shall give her more mths to adpt.

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                  • E Offline
                    en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg
                    last edited by

                    My daughter was placed in a child care when she was 2.5 years old. I placed her there because there is no other care taker & I dont trust a maid to look after her alone.


                    She cries everytime I sent her to school. But the teacher told me that she will settle down after 15 minutes of crying & will join her group. She is now 9 years old. Every time we past by the child care, she told me how she hates to go to the child care and ask me why I sent her there.

                    My suggestion to you is to take a surprise visit on your day off & observe from far why your daughter does not like the place. Pop by at different hours to see what are the things that make your daughter uncomfortable.

                    Sometimes it is not the childcare activities but the kids characteristics. My son later join his sister in the same childcare did not have the anxiety problems & happily join his class.

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                    • G Offline
                      Gmum
                      last edited by

                      EN:
                      My daughter was placed in a child care when she was 2.5 years old. I placed her there because there is no other care taker & I dont trust a maid to look after her alone.


                      She cries everytime I sent her to school. But the teacher told me that she will settle down after 15 minutes of crying & will join her group. She is now 9 years old. Every time we past by the child care, she told me how she hates to go to the child care and ask me why I sent her there.

                      My suggestion to you is to take a surprise visit on your day off & observe from far why your daughter does not like the place. Pop by at different hours to see what are the things that make your daughter uncomfortable.

                      Sometimes it is not the childcare activities but the kids characteristics. My son later join his sister in the same childcare did not have the anxiety problems & happily join his class.

                      Hi En,

                      May I know why your girl given such a strong comment abt sending her to childcare?

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                      • H Offline
                        heutistmeintag
                        last edited by

                        Hi Gmum (Gorgeous Mum?)


                        I know it hurts to see your little one cry every morning. I also sent my kids when they are 2.5 and 3.5 yrs old to full time childcare becoz we were working and my parents couldnt cope with 2 mischevious kids at home. My son cried for the initial 2-3 weeks but my daughter looked forward to the childcare.

                        The trick is to look for a childcare with sincere teachers who treat your kids with TLC. Becoz of these teachers, all the children at the centre are very well behaved and always taught to look after one another. As a matter of fact, older children are paired with new kids in a buddy system. I think it's a good approach as toddlers tend to respond very well to older ones and look up to them as older brothers and sisters.

                        So I guess you could wait and see if your child would settle down in the next few days or start looking for a childcare centre that could offer the same cozy and safe environment that she expected. Having said that, we have to be observant for extreme responses from the child.

                        Coincidentally, I also had a fren whose daughter cried alot ..to the extent of vomiting. They struggled to ignore the vomitting but gave up after 1 week. The parents were subsequently advised by paediatrician to take her out of childcare for a few months to avoid traumatizing the child. They did that for 3-4 months (with much inconvenience) and then put her back again. The 2nd time was luckily successful and the gal has since grown to be a very smart and cheerful gal..no side effect. 🙂

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