Any parents of gifted children here ?

[ChiefKiasu]

Here's a http://www.pearlsoup.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=pearls.view&pearlID=14744 @ Pearlsoup.com:


If you're like most people - myself included - when you hear the term “special needs,” you probably start thinking of a certain type of person; one who may be physically or emotionally handicapped. And in fact, until very recently this is the only definition of special needs that I was aware of. But while trying to find out more about our son's giftedness I found something very interesting. It seems that the more profoundly gifted a child is the more that child could be considered special needs; not in the traditional sense of the definition, but special needs none-the-less. Initially I didn't much care for this label for our son, but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. And the more it made sense, the more freedom I found.
Our son's chronological age doesn't seem to have much bearing on either his cognitive reasoning or his emotional maturity and it is the great difference in these areas that makes our son a special needs child. While it can be quite a delight to teach him and see him absorb information almost as fast as I can feed it to him, because of his ability to communicate at a level on par with a 12 or 13 year old I have a tendency to treat him as though he were older than he is. This can cause quite a lot of frustration on my part, especially when he starts behaving like a 3 or 4 year old, which is about where he is emotionally. It's sort of like have three kids rolled into one - and boy can it be tiring!

To look at an asynchronous child - one whose emotion, intellectual and chronological ages are on different levels - you might not think that the child was different from any other. But then they talk to you and you soon realize that something is different. Our son is much like that. He looks like a normal 5 year old boy. Then he opens his mouth and it's all over. For the parents of asynchronous children life becomes an unusual symphony - trying to be the intermediary between your child and the world, and vice versa.

My husband and I are the ones who have to explain the world to our son; not only the world, but his place in it. We also have to explain to our son why he can't do the things that he wants to do because he's just too young to do them. It's times like these that his asynchronisity is most evident. His intense emotions are easily frustrated by his advanced intellectualism. When these worlds collide inside our son, all we can do is be there for him, hold him and comfort him.

Just the other night my husband said that he wished our son could just be a little boy. I have often felt cheated out of our son's toddler years, and even this time when he should have no cares, no worries other than which toy to play with first. But when your child teaches himself to read by the age of two and a half, when he takes six weeks to complete a full year's kindergarten curriculum before he's three, and learns his states and capitals by his fourth birthday, what can you do?

We have never pushed our son academically. On the contrary, it has been our son who has run so far in the lead that at times my husband and I merely try to keep up with him. I won't deny him intellectual stimulation just because society says that a child his age should be doing X, Y or Z. And we've found that if he doesn't have something to challenge him intellectually, he becomes bored and then, watch out!

Parenting a “normal” child is a big balancing act. Parenting a child with special needs, whether society would call them handicapped or gifted, can be a three-ringed circus. But with God's help and guidance, and learning as much as you can about the uniqueness and intricacies of your child, it can be the greatest show on earth!

[ZacK]

This came out from Straits Times' Mind Your Body dated 21 Aug 08, thought is a good article to share on the Child's Self-Esteem... In our quests to groom talented kids, inevitably some kids may feel stressed.


Sorry if the image is blurry as it was scanned from the papers and not sure where to find the article online.

http://img262.imageshack.us/my.php?image=selfesteemjj5.jpg

[raysusan]

ZacK:

This came out from Straits Times' Mind Your Body dated 21 Aug 08, thought is a good article to share on the Child's Self-Esteem... In our quests to groom talented kids, inevitably some kids may feel stressed.


Sorry if the image is blurry as it was scanned from the papers and not sure where to find the article online.

let me help u
hope this one make it easier to read

http://img261.imageshack.us/img261/745/selfesteemjj5tt7.jpg\">

[ZacK]

raysusan:

ZacK:

This came out from Straits Times' Mind Your Body dated 21 Aug 08, thought is a good article to share on the Child's Self-Esteem... In our quests to groom talented kids, inevitably some kids may feel stressed.


Sorry if the image is blurry as it was scanned from the papers and not sure where to find the article online.

let me help u
hope this one make it easier to read

Thanks... You managed to make it darker

[tamarind]

"I now realise that I do not need to prove anything to anyone in my results , but that I needed to remind myself I have done my best each time."


This is what I will tell both my kids. There is a big gap in their abilities. I need a lot more patience to teach my boy. But I am still very happy with his progress, because I don’t compare him with my girl. So long as he improves steadily, that is good enough for me. I praise him highly whenever he succeeds in learning something new. My girl will say "I already know all of that !" I will just smile and tell her "Yes I know that ! "

I think that poor girl’s parents have to take full responsibility for making her suffer : "She had felt that her parents’ approval and love were conditional to her doing not just well but very well in school."

What is the use of having a very bright child who does not dare to take risk ? The child becomes like this, simply because the parents are too critical whenever he makes mistakes.

My girl loves to draw, and she has become quite critical of her own drawings. When she is not happy with a drawing, she simply gives it to me and say "I don’t want it anymore. You keep it." If she likes a drawing, she will bring it to her school to show all her friends. But we always praise her no matter what she draws.

[tamarind]

Can parents share what you are doing with your kids at home ?


I have been teaching my girl map reading with a compass. I print out a map, mark the destination with a sticker, then bring her downstairs and teach her to navigate using the compass and map, and lead us to the destination

I also taught her how to use the index of a book. I have a very thick book called \"The Ultimate book of flowers\". The contents page do not list all the flower names, so I taught her to go to the index page to find a flower name.

I think it is not so important for a child to have encyclopedic knowledge. It is much more important to teach her how to search for information efficiently.

The best way is of course to search from the internet. But since she is only 5 years old, I am worried that she may see unsuitable contents.

[breguet]

Hi Zack and Raysusan,


Tks for the article. I rather think that self esteem issues pertain to all kids though. It’s really sad that such things happen, but the statements made by the good doctor seem a bit blanket. In my family’s case, I really don’t believe in praising in a blanket fashion. My position is that I am the reflection of the real world to my son, and if I praise him no matter what, he’s going to get an imposter sense of what is good or not so good. After all, every one, even children, will know whether they’ve put in effort or not. I try to praise my son’s effort, and when it does look great (like better than what’s he’s been doing - sorry, he ain’t no van Gogh!), I tell him that I think he’s improved by pointing out the improvements.

In other instances that are less tangible, like his behaviour, I help re-live a positive incident by retelling it, and asking how it made him or others feel. I do the reverse when he isn’t so hot, but I’m harsher so he can learn and I can communicate my disapproval. I do see some results, but everything with a kid is Work-In-Progress, and I find, they’re ingenious in finding new testing ground!

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Hi Zack, Raysusan


Thanks for sharing the article. It helps to remind all parents to be less critical, encourage our kids to pursue their dreams & to be with them when they fall.

I have something to share that happen to me recently. By mid of the year, I notice that my son has lost his drive in going through math. I think it must be the pace set in school. When I go through math revision at home, I notice that he tends to make careless mistake for simple questions & does not have any problems when tackling difficult ones. A week before the common test, he has to sit for a mock test and… he carelessly skip page 2 & 3 of the pre-test. It is difficult to control my emotion when I saw the paper. I know I should not get angry & should be working with him the importance of checking through his work. I was quiet the whole night & he did not get any reprimand. I cool down the following day & we had a talked. He did well for his CA & I hope he learnt his lesson to always check his work & not to be overconfident.

Hi Tamarind

I’ve been admiring your creativeness in coaching your kids. Kudos to you. Nothing much done on my side except to go library, allow him to read & explore his subject of interest. I have just started "Word Banks" with my kids. They are to come up with a new word every day. I told them to take note of any new words that they come across while listening to the radio, talking to friends, words that teacher uses or from the books they read. They are to note the word down in the scrap book which I help to set up the indexes from A-Z. I taught them to use the dictionary to find the meaning & to try to create a sentence using the word they just learn.

My son wanted me to buy a microscope, a human anatomy model & science kit so that we can carry out science experiments. I will be buying them next week & hope to go through those during weekends & school holidays.

[tamarind]

EN,

Thanks for your compliments And thanks for sharing your idea of the word bank You reminded me that I haven't been investing much on science, I will try to start doing some science experiments with her.

Last week I brought the kids to walk up Bukit Timah Hill. I was happy that both my 5 year old girl, and almost 4 year old boy walked all the way up and down without asking me to carry The primary rainforest which contains more species of trees than the entire North American continent, is very educational to them. This is so much better than walking in air-conditioned shopping malls

[getz]

Hi, I'm new to this forum, and am following this thread with interest. My eldest son was from the GEP; he's now in the IB programme in Sec 3. We never had any enrichment or tuition for him. In fact, he was never ever near the top of his class in Primary 1 to 3 (nor was he in the top class). When he got into the GEP, his principal commented that he was a 'late bloomer'. What we really did for him was to develop a love for reading from young, from there, he was on his own, picking up any reading materials that interest him. I was a teacher before, and I realised that the fastest way to kill any child's interest is to do 'boring' assessment book worksheets. So I guess our style was more ecclectic. Everything was done for fun, and I made sure he had friends to play with by organising parties and outings. Results were not important as long as he pass his exams. He is just a happy child - no emotional issues. He didn't complain that school was boring and seemed to enjoy going to class. Later, when he was in the GEP, I met many of his friends and their parents, and the background is no different. None of them has gone through enrichment programmes and tuition, and most of them have one thing in common, they love to read!


So I guess reading is one of the best way of acquiring knowledge and information.