Any parents of gifted children here ?

[tamarind]

"I now realise that I do not need to prove anything to anyone in my results , but that I needed to remind myself I have done my best each time."


This is what I will tell both my kids. There is a big gap in their abilities. I need a lot more patience to teach my boy. But I am still very happy with his progress, because I don’t compare him with my girl. So long as he improves steadily, that is good enough for me. I praise him highly whenever he succeeds in learning something new. My girl will say "I already know all of that !" I will just smile and tell her "Yes I know that ! "

I think that poor girl’s parents have to take full responsibility for making her suffer : "She had felt that her parents’ approval and love were conditional to her doing not just well but very well in school."

What is the use of having a very bright child who does not dare to take risk ? The child becomes like this, simply because the parents are too critical whenever he makes mistakes.

My girl loves to draw, and she has become quite critical of her own drawings. When she is not happy with a drawing, she simply gives it to me and say "I don’t want it anymore. You keep it." If she likes a drawing, she will bring it to her school to show all her friends. But we always praise her no matter what she draws.

[tamarind]

Can parents share what you are doing with your kids at home ?


I have been teaching my girl map reading with a compass. I print out a map, mark the destination with a sticker, then bring her downstairs and teach her to navigate using the compass and map, and lead us to the destination

I also taught her how to use the index of a book. I have a very thick book called \"The Ultimate book of flowers\". The contents page do not list all the flower names, so I taught her to go to the index page to find a flower name.

I think it is not so important for a child to have encyclopedic knowledge. It is much more important to teach her how to search for information efficiently.

The best way is of course to search from the internet. But since she is only 5 years old, I am worried that she may see unsuitable contents.

[breguet]

Hi Zack and Raysusan,


Tks for the article. I rather think that self esteem issues pertain to all kids though. It’s really sad that such things happen, but the statements made by the good doctor seem a bit blanket. In my family’s case, I really don’t believe in praising in a blanket fashion. My position is that I am the reflection of the real world to my son, and if I praise him no matter what, he’s going to get an imposter sense of what is good or not so good. After all, every one, even children, will know whether they’ve put in effort or not. I try to praise my son’s effort, and when it does look great (like better than what’s he’s been doing - sorry, he ain’t no van Gogh!), I tell him that I think he’s improved by pointing out the improvements.

In other instances that are less tangible, like his behaviour, I help re-live a positive incident by retelling it, and asking how it made him or others feel. I do the reverse when he isn’t so hot, but I’m harsher so he can learn and I can communicate my disapproval. I do see some results, but everything with a kid is Work-In-Progress, and I find, they’re ingenious in finding new testing ground!

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Hi Zack, Raysusan


Thanks for sharing the article. It helps to remind all parents to be less critical, encourage our kids to pursue their dreams & to be with them when they fall.

I have something to share that happen to me recently. By mid of the year, I notice that my son has lost his drive in going through math. I think it must be the pace set in school. When I go through math revision at home, I notice that he tends to make careless mistake for simple questions & does not have any problems when tackling difficult ones. A week before the common test, he has to sit for a mock test and… he carelessly skip page 2 & 3 of the pre-test. It is difficult to control my emotion when I saw the paper. I know I should not get angry & should be working with him the importance of checking through his work. I was quiet the whole night & he did not get any reprimand. I cool down the following day & we had a talked. He did well for his CA & I hope he learnt his lesson to always check his work & not to be overconfident.

Hi Tamarind

I’ve been admiring your creativeness in coaching your kids. Kudos to you. Nothing much done on my side except to go library, allow him to read & explore his subject of interest. I have just started "Word Banks" with my kids. They are to come up with a new word every day. I told them to take note of any new words that they come across while listening to the radio, talking to friends, words that teacher uses or from the books they read. They are to note the word down in the scrap book which I help to set up the indexes from A-Z. I taught them to use the dictionary to find the meaning & to try to create a sentence using the word they just learn.

My son wanted me to buy a microscope, a human anatomy model & science kit so that we can carry out science experiments. I will be buying them next week & hope to go through those during weekends & school holidays.

[tamarind]

EN,

Thanks for your compliments And thanks for sharing your idea of the word bank You reminded me that I haven't been investing much on science, I will try to start doing some science experiments with her.

Last week I brought the kids to walk up Bukit Timah Hill. I was happy that both my 5 year old girl, and almost 4 year old boy walked all the way up and down without asking me to carry The primary rainforest which contains more species of trees than the entire North American continent, is very educational to them. This is so much better than walking in air-conditioned shopping malls

[getz]

Hi, I'm new to this forum, and am following this thread with interest. My eldest son was from the GEP; he's now in the IB programme in Sec 3. We never had any enrichment or tuition for him. In fact, he was never ever near the top of his class in Primary 1 to 3 (nor was he in the top class). When he got into the GEP, his principal commented that he was a 'late bloomer'. What we really did for him was to develop a love for reading from young, from there, he was on his own, picking up any reading materials that interest him. I was a teacher before, and I realised that the fastest way to kill any child's interest is to do 'boring' assessment book worksheets. So I guess our style was more ecclectic. Everything was done for fun, and I made sure he had friends to play with by organising parties and outings. Results were not important as long as he pass his exams. He is just a happy child - no emotional issues. He didn't complain that school was boring and seemed to enjoy going to class. Later, when he was in the GEP, I met many of his friends and their parents, and the background is no different. None of them has gone through enrichment programmes and tuition, and most of them have one thing in common, they love to read!


So I guess reading is one of the best way of acquiring knowledge and information.

[ChiefKiasu]

getz:

... My eldest so was from the GEP; he's now in the IB programme in Sec 3. We never has any enrichment or tuition for him. In fact, he was never ever near the top of his class in Primary 1 to 3 (nor was he in the top class). When he got into the GEP, his principal commented that he was a 'late bloomer'. What we really did for him was to develop a love for reading from young, from there, he was on his own, picking up any reading materials that interest him...

Hi getz, thanks for your note. It's really encouraging to hear about how gifted children may not really require that much hand holding, other than to feed their voracious need for knowledge.

[tamarind]

getz:

So I guess reading is one of the best way of acquiring knowledge and information.

I totally agree

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Hi Getz. I know some parents who have gifted kids & yes, they don't have enrichment nor tuition.


Enrichment is not suitable as they follow a fix set of curriculum where else gifted kids have varied interest & their interest change as soon as their voracious appetite for a certain information are filled.

Tuition is a no no too. They are able to grasp the concept quickly so there is no need for another round of teaching.

I'm not really a hands on mother. My kids are the pushing factor on what they would like to do. They nag at me for months before I relent & bring them to the library & make library card for each of them. That was years ago & that was the start. The word bank was my idea & really meant for my daughter. As normal it takes months for it to fly off & my son is the one who push me to get it started. There are some documentaries DVDs that I bought which are collecting dust on the shelf. My son wants to watch it but I have not had the time to sit with him for each of those he is interested. Well....now the science kits :shock: All I can say is that, I try my best to meet his needs even though I move ever so slowly.

Besides reading to acquire knowledge, a gifted kid might be good at other activities too. So, it is good for parents to follow through their kids interest and expose them to new ideas & experiences which Tamarind has been diligently doing.

Getz wrote [quote]He is just a happy child - no emotional issues. He didn't complain that school was boring and seemed to enjoy going to class.[/quote]That is good to know that your son has no major issues in school. Mine, there are nitty gritty things that bother me but I wil try to smoothen the issues by explaining or render a helping hand. Recently he was reprimanded for reading in class. His excuse was, he was waiting for the teacher to hand out the homework. Another occassion, a boy wanted to rough it out with him. He don't understand that it is natural for boys to play rough & he feels miserable.

[jedamum]

ChiefKiasu:

It's really encouraging to hear about how gifted children may not really require that much hand holding, other than to feed their voracious need for knowledge.

Ya, I agree that gifted children do not need tuition and such. The issue with a lot of children going for tuition and enrichment (handholding as you may call it) is cos most of them are regular kids who are not gifted. And for this brunch of kids, to do well, the only thing is hardwork.
Oops...i'm in the wrong thread.... :oops: