All About Full-Time Maids
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moonee:
MyFriend:
[quote=\"dooelsie\"]I do not take jam, peanut butter, etc, since the doctor says I have to control my sugar intake. That means I buy my maid her own spreads. But even if I could take sweet stuff, I will still buy my maid her own jam, etc. It is up to each employer to set the house rules and it has absolutely nothing to do with treating your maid as a 'pariah'. Employers should not be made to feel guilty for not embracing their maids into their family's bosom just because she works in their household. Let's be very clear - a maid is an employee, not your blood relative. So long as she is fairly and respectfully treated, it is up to individual employers to decide for themselves how close a working relationship they want with their maid. To avoid any misunderstanding, I prefer to draw the line and keep things on a 'professional' level. That is not to say that we do not share a few jokes now and then, and my maid knows that she can always turn to me for help and advice if she has any problems. This has worked very well for both of us and my maid is into her third contract with me.
Well said. Absolutely agree.
\"Employers should not be made to feel guilty for not embracing their maids into their family's bosom just because she works in their household. Let's be very clear - a maid is an employee, not your blood relative. So long as she is fairly and respectfully treated, it is up to individual employers to decide for themselves how close a working relationship they want with their maid......It is up to each employer to set the house rules and it has absolutely nothing to do with treating your maid as a 'pariah'\"
yup, well said! I agree tat employers shld not feel bad about setting their own house rules. After all, we set rules for our childrens behaviour and a maid is an employee here under work permit to do a job. No one has the right to impose their personal preferences on us and tell us how to run our households.[/quote]
The word \" pariah\" was used because Moonee asked abt supplying separate jam butter and spread to the maid. I cannot see why jam butter and spread needs to be separated. One spreads their bread with a butter knife not hand. There is no contamination. So frankly, I did not see the need to separate. Be it President butter or Crabtree and Evelyn Jam that we eat, my maid eat those too. Again remember the original question is abt jam and spreads.
Next my statement of maid being treated like part of the family is pertaining to the issue and discussion on food here. She eats like one of the family. Off course she knows who is the boss and is not embraced in the bosom.
What I have overlooked is that not very employer can afford to feed their maids as well as they feed their family, thus now i understand why the differentiation is necessary. -
Dnls_mum:
Your reply surprises me. It surprises me because you clearly DO NOT understand when you CLAIM that you do. No where is it mentioned that the
The word \" pariah\" was used because Moonee asked abt supplying separate jam butter and spread to the maid. I cannot see why jam butter and spread needs to be separated. One spreads their bread with a butter knife not hand. There is no contamination. So frankly, I did not see the need to separate. Be it President butter or Crabtree and Evelyn Jam that we eat, my maid eat those too. Again remember the original question is abt jam and spreads.
Next my statement of maid being treated like part of the family is pertaining to the issue and discussion on food here. She eats like one of the family. Off course she knows who is the boss and is not embraced in the bosom.
What I have overlooked is that not very employer can afford to feed their maids as well as they feed their family, thus now i understand why the differentiation is necessary.
posters CANNOT afford to feed their maids as well as their family. The issue is about differing tastes and the fact that some maids are not able to
exercise control over their intake of the food, hence the word \"afford\" being used in the context. For instance, both my ex helper and current one first started out consuming like 3 to 4 heaped tsps of sugar per drink. The ex learned to control this after living with us for some time. The current one is working on it. So until I see some effort in her part to control her intake (anyway it's not good for her health and teeth), I will segregate my
purchases.
Another example, not related to food, is that I only allowed myself to leave
my son with my helper alone to run errands after she had been with us for
two years due to trust issues. So really, as another poster mentioned earlier, it's different strokes for different folks when it comes to setting boundaries for our helpers.
Please refrain using sarcasm here. It's an insensitive act because many have had very negative experiences with their maids, which may have
compelled them to set certain restrictions on them. You may have had \"good luck\" with your maids, just like me, but that doesn't warrant one to gloat or inject sarcasm in one's post.
BTW, you should familiarize yourself with the definition of the word \"pariah\" before using it freely. This might help.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pariah -
autumnbronze:
Your reply surprises me. It surprises me because you clearly DO NOT understand when you CLAIM that you do. No where is it mentioned that theDnls_mum:
The word \" pariah\" was used because Moonee asked abt supplying separate jam butter and spread to the maid. I cannot see why jam butter and spread needs to be separated. One spreads their bread with a butter knife not hand. There is no contamination. So frankly, I did not see the need to separate. Be it President butter or Crabtree and Evelyn Jam that we eat, my maid eat those too. Again remember the original question is abt jam and spreads.
Next my statement of maid being treated like part of the family is pertaining to the issue and discussion on food here. She eats like one of the family. Off course she knows who is the boss and is not embraced in the bosom.
What I have overlooked is that not very employer can afford to feed their maids as well as they feed their family, thus now i understand why the differentiation is necessary.
posters CANNOT afford to feed their maids as well as their family. The issue is about differing tastes and the fact that some maids are not able to
exercise control over their intake of the food, hence the word \"afford\" being used in the context. For instance, both my ex helper and current one first started out consuming like 3 to 4 heaped tsps of sugar per drink. The ex learned to control this after living with us for some time. The current one is working on it. So until I see some effort in her part to control her intake (anyway it's not good for her health and teeth), I will segregate my
purchases.
You clearly did not read all the posts clearly and calmly. There was a previous post about expensive butter and coffee and the poster clearly indicated that she cannot afford for the maid to eat the same brand of food.
Next regarding controlling of maid's diet. I am surprise to see this. The maid is clearly not a child or dependent that requires one to control their diet. Some nationalities generally take more salty food or have sweet tooth. Singaporeasn are generally more health conscious and thus take less of salt and sugar. Whether it is a maid or any employee, is it necessary to dictate or control what they eat? Frankly this has nothing to do with having a good maid or not good one. Do we need to control another human to such an extend? I am strict with my maids, but not to this extend. Just like you have a right to your opinion, so do I.
Another example, not related to food, is that I only allowed myself to leave
my son with my helper alone to run errands after she had been with us for
two years due to trust issues. So really, as another poster mentioned earlier, it's different strokes for different folks when it comes to setting boundaries for our helpers.
This has nothing to do with the original question and so i won't comment
Please refrain using sarcasm here. It's an insensitive act because many have had very negative experiences with their maids, which may have
compelled them to set certain restrictions on them. You may have had \"good luck\" with your maids, just like me, but that doesn't warrant one to gloat or inject sarcasm in one's post.
Does treating badly a person who treats you badly makes it all right? Pls don't someone misunderstand and say that I said seggregating jam and spread is treating a maid badly. NO. I am not saying that. This is just to illustrate the irrelevance of your point here. Whether a maid is good or bad, had nothing to do with seggregating jam and spread.
BTW, you should familiarize yourself with the definition of the word \"pariah\" before using it freely. This might help.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pariah
Your dictionary link says \"Pariah\" refers to a social outcast. This is what I understand. Seems like you are the one using sarcasm here. I was puzzled why one would want to separate food like jam and spreads unless one is treating their maid like one would treat a social outcast. Nothing wrong with my English understanding here. But now that I understand when someone mentioned the expensive food they buy and wanting to let the maid have a separate common brand then it make sense. There are others who want to control the volume and amount intake by the maid. While I don't agree because I frankly don't think jams and spreads cost so much that it can make any difference, now I see that it is because some like you prefers the maid to conform to our sweet and salty taste preference.
Now I think you are the one getting emotional about this. pls see response in blue above. -
Dear Dnls_mum,
You are adopting too much of a moral high ground and self righteous attitude that you CLEARLY do not see where I and the others are coming from. You are playing and twisting the words used out of context. I would call this verbal psychology, if there is such a term. There are people who resort to such tactics to hang on to their argument precisely because they have nothing to support their argument anymore and also because they CANNOT or REFUSE to UNDERSTAND others’ point of view. Yes, one point I do agree with you is that you are entitled to your opinion. However, how that viewpoint is conveyed is another matter altogether. Go back to your first reply to moonee and hopefully you can see where I am coming from.
I am CERTAINLY not being emotional. You do not know me here in this forum, if you did, you will think otherwise. I will disregard this statement
that you have made. In fact, it’s been a long long time since I have stepped into this thread, because it’s like a viper’s nest in here. And I have been proven right.
I will reply to your post. Let me attend to my crying baby first.
BTW, the use of CAPs in postings doesn’t necessarily indicate that the poster is being emotional. -
LOLMum:
Huh...LOLMum? :?DesertWind:
I just paid almost SGD1,100 (including insurance) for my mother's new maid under the old contract term. But replacement after May got to pay a fee of a few hundred dollars because going forward under new rules more expensive already. Today went to fetch her, seems ok, pleasant enough.
all the best ! but watch that window.......watch that window.......
You mean as in the safety aspect high-rise flat window izzit?
Guess what, that was the FIRST THING I told her the minute she stepped into my parents' flat. After she put her bags down I brought her to the room windows and rattled the grills and told her in no uncertain terms DO NOT OPEN the grills in whatever circumstances since there are kids in the house! -
autumnbronze:
Thanks, autumnbronze!DesertWind:
I just paid almost SGD1,100 (including insurance) for my mother's new maid under the old contract term. But replacement after May got to pay a fee of a few hundred dollars because going forward under new rules more expensive already. Today went to fetch her, seems ok, pleasant enough.
Best of luck to your mom, DesertWind :xedfingers:
Yesterday after we reached my parents' place, I showed the new maid how to do the blood sugar monitoring and how to use the blood pressure equipment too. I started by doing on her ie. I tested the maid's blood sugar and then take her BP so that she knows what I am doing and then I do my father so that she can compare.
Turned out I think her BP a bit high (higher than my father) and then she told me she got a bit of a headache. When I told my mother, she got quite worried that perhaps the headache is related to the BP. :scared: So we will bring her to the doc to check and see whether the BP is serious or not, need any medication for the headache too?
She can speak Cantonese but English not so good. Still observing will check with my mother tom. how is it going.... :xedfingers: -
My mum’s ex-maid very ROD mood already and hence since fees increasing I decided to release her 3 months earlier and got a new replacement maid.
Took her to close her POSB account - wah lau the Q is terrible minimum wait is 1 hour I SWEAR I won’t any POSB for the new maid anymore! After that brought her to BNI to remit her money back to Indonesia. BNI told me they no longer open accounts for maids her in SG but they can do it in Indo. My maid told me to remit all her savings over to her brother/cousin’s account in BNI-Indo. I absolutely refused since the account not in her name - so how? I asked BNI. BNI told me in such a case we can use the maid’s passport to remit the savings over in Rupiah to the BNI branch nearest so that my maid can go and take the money when she went back home. I thought this is a great way too! They photocopied her passport and do the TT with a reference number so that when maid went to get her money, she can just show her passport so cannot go wrong!
Went to the airport and turned out she was referred to the immigration counter when she went into the departure area. The immigration wanted to check her work permit and ensure that all was in order I think, since I bought her a one-way ticket.
Initially I was debating whether to ask the agent to help me send her off but this maid told me a few times already she does not want to go back to the agent. Apparently the agent treat them shabbily and I scared her things got stolen or agent keep her passport and give her a hard time so in the end decided to send her off to the airport myself. Phew!
I told her thank you for taking care of my father he is so well now! She told me among the bosses she encountered since coming her I am the best…ke…ke…ke…
One chapter closed…good bye and all the best! -
DesertWind:
Great! I might just do that for my maid when she goes home later this year. She doesn't want to remit the last of her savings to her sibling cos she \"doesn't have any more money\". She insisted that she will carry the money home personally.BNI told me in such a case we can use the maid's passport to remit the savings over in Rupiah to the BNI branch nearest so that my maid can go and take the money when she went back home. I thought this is a great way too! They photocopied her passport and do the TT with a reference number so that when maid went to get her money, she can just show her passport so cannot go wrong!
So now, I shall tell her about this. -
autumnbronze:
Answer all you like, but I am stopping here. Given how you like to lump everything together whether there is any relevance, I can understand why you think this is a VIPER's NEST. YES, I better avoid the VIPER.Dear Dnls_mum,
You are adopting too much of a moral high ground and self righteous attitude that you CLEARLY do not see where I and the others are coming from. You are playing and twisting the words used out of context. I would call this verbal psychology, if there is such a term. There are people who resort to such tactics to hang on to their argument precisely because they have nothing to support their argument anymore and also because they CANNOT or REFUSE to UNDERSTAND others' point of view. Yes, one point I do agree with you is that you are entitled to your opinion. However, how that viewpoint is conveyed is another matter altogether. Go back to your first reply to moonee and hopefully you can see where I am coming from.
I am CERTAINLY not being emotional. You do not know me here in this forum, if you did, you will think otherwise. I will disregard this statement
that you have made. In fact, it's been a long long time since I have stepped into this thread, because it's like a viper's nest in here. And I have been proven right.
I will reply to your post. Let me attend to my crying baby first.
BTW, the use of CAPs in postings doesn't necessarily indicate that the poster is being emotional. -
DesertWind:
Hi DesertWind!
I told her thank you for taking care of my father he is so well now! She told me among the bosses she encountered since coming her I am the best...ke..ke..ke...
One chapter closed....good bye and all the best!
How long was she with your mum??
You must have felt happy when she mentioned the above statement!!
I broke down at the airport when my ex maid left in March. I did not
expect to. I too wished her all the best and thanked her for taking care of us and especially my kids. She was going home to get married after 4 years with us. She grew up with us. She literally transformed herself just by watching us - the way we do things like eating habits (for example, the
proper way to eat spaghetti), hygiene etc ... When I was expecting DS2, she observed how I avoided caffeine and MSG and asked me why. She said she hoped to be able to do the same when she is pregnant too!! She had initiative and was observant. There was once, out of exhaustion in the
initial months after delivering, when the baby was crying, she fed him milk and showered him on her own accord while I slept. When I woke up, I was
shocked at why she didn't wake me up. She mentioned that she had observed me doing all those things and was confident that she could do it and knew that I needed to rest.
My neighbor once commented that my helper did not look like one, neither
did she behave like one.
Anyway, I broke down because at the airport, she thanked me and DH. She
thanked us profusely because she said she has never felt as comfortable as she felt in our home. And the things we advised her about like how to take
care of her health (avoidance of excessive amount of certain food if
possible), saving up her hard earned money (we advised her to save every cent and dollar and in fact supplied her with everything from toiletries, to
clothes, to phone cards to hp). She thanked us because she said after 4 years of saving, she was able to buy herself a matrimonial home plus a
motorbike. She said she appreciated all the advice Sir used to give her in
the car about investing her money wisely. She said that while working for her ex employer, she did not know what to do with the money earned and her future. Now she has an idea. She said that she cannot forsee herself staying at home and doing nothing after working for us for these no of years. She will have to do something productive at home now.
I broke down because I never realized what we had said and done for her
out of GOODWILL had made such an impact in her life.
I miss her.
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