Asia spending billions on tutors: study

[BeContented]

Chenonceau:

BeContented:

You might be a perfectionist and cannot accept a 2nd best.....I CAN. If one try their best, clear, pass, over. Move on.

BUT... are you directing this at me? If you are... here is my response... DS was 2nd in class last year and I was over the moon. He was 2nd last in Chinese at CA1 this year and I was quite happy that he didn't fail because many did.

This said, I am still a perfectionist. I want to do things well. I wouldn't release a report that I though was sub-par... nor put out a book without taking care that it was the highest quality I can produce. Nothing wrong with being perfectionist... and I should not be dissed for it.

[color=#0000FF]Nothing wrong with being perfectionist, expectation on oneself to perform to his/her best. So I did not diss you...it's a general statement made. In fact, I'm criticizing myself for not always trying my best.

Anyway, my concern is on the possible unrealistic expectations imposed on kids (ie. on another). But of course, there will be all the 'do not want to deprive the child the opportunity of reaching their full potential etc'. Guess, this is never-ending, so I have said my piece on setting realistic expectations....that'll be about all I'll say.

Chenonceau:

BeContented:

Am not asking people to be contented and dun care, but to relook and adjust some of their expectations.

This is a good clarification.

Chenonceau:

BeContented:

It's painful tho to listen to people complaining about being unable to buy new/luxury car, ranting over 5-10 mins of waiting time for bus/MRT... people from high income/bigger units complain about the peanut$ and getting less than others.

So your posts ridiculing people for not being contented only refer to such people is it? Those who wanna buy luxury cars and won't wait 5-10 minutes? ? That's again a good clarification.

Even then, it could be that for some people, 5-10 minutes has serious implications. A cleaner was late and his already small salary was docked. Those in bigger flats may have recently been retrenched? I knew a banker earning $15,000 one day and out of job the next. It was overnight.

I do not include those whom you have mentioned. Clearly stated was those who rant over cannot afford new condo/luxury car/property etc. I can jolly join this group too....rant and rant over condo too expensive, cannot buy new car etc.... I chose not to. As for 5-10 mins longer wait....it's like complaining why hawker centre no aircon. IF one is worried about being late, leave the house earlier....work around it. We seem to always take different sampling groups to compare dun we?

Chenonceau:

BeContented:

True, I am blessed that my kids are doing well....but does that mean that I have a perfectly blessed journey with zero pain...as implied by some? Not the same type of pain? Ohhhh, my pain not as painful as yours.....

I'm not sure I want to descend into comparing whose life is more painful. My life is fine, I assure you. I have pulled us all out of the depths. DS is not top of the top, but I am sanguine enough to have left him Home Alone during his PSLE year whilst I went on 3 different overseas trips this year.

Indeed, I am perhaps more bochap than even you because I did not apply for DSA. DS does a sport that exposes him to a coach from RI. This coach loves my son and sees great potential in him for the sport. I could have chosen to DSA, and I think we would have stood a good chance... but I did not. Partly, I want DS to know that he has no safety net. Partly, I was busy.


Your son is DSA-ing?

OOOOHHHHH yes. Anyway, my role is to just prepare the docs, chauffeur him & pay for whatever fees. The rest up to him. If he objects violently, it's OFF. If he's keen to try but dun bother to prepare for it at all, it's his choice.....anyway, an experience for him to see the 'world' since he hardly get any exposure to interviews.

Chenonceau:

But enough about me and you... I am now coaching a mother whose child fails 4 subjects. There is a lot of pain there, I can tell you. If people like you and I (with reasonably successful kids) have no empathy for people like that, and sit out our keyboards to joke and poke sarcastic fun at people like HER for be UNcontented, then the world is a sad sad place.

But I think you have clarified that your scorn and ridicule are not directed at Mothers like her. So I guess we are somewhat in agreement.

Wow.....you use really impactful and intense words......scorn and ridicule. Since that's how you had interpret my post Anyway, I won't bother myself over people who chooses to behave so, by that I am referring to those who joke/poke fun. I do my part as a good person, & prefer to live simply.....happy & not resentful/bitter.

Chenonceau:

BeContented:

I know of 1 parent, she has always compared her gal with my DD....their gap widen over the years and she increased her gal's tuition to 7 per week (4 subjects). Her comparing and complaints are still on-going and these are the types of pain I will ignore. But then again, all of us will feel that our pain are geniune and should not be ignored/dismissed.

I have friends like this too. They compare their kids with mine. However, I don't judge them. I try and help them instead.

Would be interested to know how to help this friend. Do propose any good methods that you may have. As far as I can see now....her gal is very unhappy cos' she's always benchmarked against my gal and kena scolded because she did worse than DD....so until that gal win my DD, that parent is unhappy.

Yes, enough about me and you which was never meant to be in the first place.
Better to soak myself with some positive energy......KSP is sapping my energy these days. :sad:

[Lilac66]

Oxyleo, I'm taking cover, hoping to seek refuge in safer threads like Tuckshop etc where you'll never go wrong. After some recuperation, knowing myself , I'll creep back to kaypo in the hotter threads. :boogie:


Till now I'm still scratching my head about the \"crossfire\". What have we not done to clarfiy our stand? We tried to make peace (inclu limlim). So I don't know where along the line, the communication just snapped. Anyway, do continue to contribute Oxyleo, really love reading your posts and thoroughly enjoyed your humor. :hi5:

Btw, just to add like what you and other parents have commented. Let's all be more civil and mindful of our words. It's one thing to disagree and another to \"rubbish\" others' views or the experience they may have had.

[Chenonceau]

Lilac66:

Oxyleo, I'm taking cover, hoping to seek refuge in safer threads like Tuckshop etc where you'll never going wrong. After some recuperation, knowing myself , I'll creep back to kaypo in the hotter threads. :boogie:


Till now I'm still scratching my head about the \"crossfire\". What have we not done to clarfiy our stand? We tried to make peace (inclu limlim). So I don't know where along the line, the communication just snapped. Anyway, do continue to contribute Oxyleo, really love reading your posts and thoroughly enjoyed your humor. :hi5:

I think AB snapped when she read cherryc's bit on wanting \"civilized\" discourse. It was interpreted as \"the alternative camp\" being uncivilized. Actually, I think it was cherryc merely wished to respond to VKS2010's \"rubbish\" remark (and I think she felt bad for Janet). So... that ONE spark \"rubbish\" lead to a SECOND spark \"uncivilized\"... and a fire began again.

There was wrong on both sides.

Peace everyone. Just clarify your logic and refrain from words that hint at \"uncivilized\" or outright accuse \"rubbish\". As Buds said, and AB has herself PM-ed me, no one objects to reasonable suggestions to improve the system... and no one actually thinks the system is perfect. Then again, for the record, no one also disputes that 100% consistency amongst schools is not possible.

Somewhere, we are reasonable people and do in fact meet in the middle. Even Becontented's posts, once clarified, don't look as unkind as I thought they were. Even limlim has acknowledged a \"bad idea\".

Oxyleo and Lilac66, you have my respect. Cherryc, it was nice of you to stick up for poor Janet.

[Lilac66]

Chenonceau:

I think AB snapped when she read cherryc's bit on wanting \"civilized\" discourse. It was interpreted as \"the alternative camp\" being uncivilized. Actually, I think it was cherryc merely wished to respond to VKS2010's \"rubbish\" remark. So... that ONE spark \"rubbish\" lead to a SECOND spark \"uncivilized\"... and a fire began again.

There was wrong on both sides.

Peace everyone. Just clarify your logic and refrain from words that hint at \"uncivilized\" or outright accuse \"rubbish\". As Buds said, and AB has herself PM-ed me, no one objects to reasonable suggestions to improve the system... and no one actually thinks the system is perfect. Then again, for the record, no one also disputes that 100% consistency amongst schools is not possible.

Somewhere, we are reasonable people and do in fact meet in the middle. Even Becontented's posts, once clarified, don't look as unkind as I thought they were. Even limlim has acknowledged a \"bad idea\".

Thank you Chen for the clarfication and unbiased post. You are indeed the undisputed \"Queen of Peace\", haha. :rahrah: After some thoughts, I feel if vsk2010 is willing to tone down his expressions a tad alittle, maybe the fire would not have been ignited so quickly. But then again, being a man, usually they are too direct and fast without processing the words first, unlike women.
He has been very generous in his sharing of info and knowledge and I salute him for that.

Chenonceau:

Oxyleo and Lilac66, you have my respect

Thanks. The feeling is definitely mutual. :salute:

[Funz]

Oh my, what happened? How did this thread become so fiery?


I think for some of us who have been in this forum long enough, we should know the ‘pattern’ of some regular forummers. Brash, abrupt, provocative, gossipy, insightful, inciteful, thoughtful, etc. So far, most forummers are decent and civilised and generous with their knowledge. We do get kinda boisterous over topics that we are passionate about but at the end of the day, there is no ill will in any of the posts. I remember vividly that VKS2010 and 3boys (or was it someone else) appear to be at each others throat over some discussions and soon enough you see them hi-fiving each other over another topic as their views concur.

So peace everyone, stay objective and not let it get too personal.

[limlim]

Chenonceau:

Even limlim has acknowledged a \"bad idea\".


Oxyleo and Lilac66, you have my respect.

I'm the bad one.....

me too..

[limlim]

Funz:

I remember vividly that VKS2010 and 3boys..

They do share similarities.... :evil:

[Funz]

limlim:

Funz:

I remember vividly that VKS2010 and 3boys..

They do share similarities.... :evil:

Actually you too share many similarities with them, even if your views may differ.

[vlim]

Please pardon vk2010 la.. U know.. Sometime people of older generation will 'educate' their younger generation at a very straight forward way la ... Lucky he no say ask --- to 'repent Of what she has said'.... just kidding

:siam: :siam: :siam:

[Busymom]

Funz:

limlim:

[quote=\"Funz\"]I remember vividly that VKS2010 and 3boys..

They do share similarities.... :evil:

Actually you too share many similarities with them, even if your views may differ. [/quote]Funz,

:udawoman:

Sorry, no offence to you, limlim. :siam: