Is this behaviour of teacher acceptable?

[Nebbermind]

just wondering, for parents who have disruptive kids, what would be the acceptable punishment for the diff kind of misdeed, eg, disturbing neighbours, speaking out of turn, rude to teacher, uncooperative in acitivities etc…

[Mychildren]

gerberadaisy,


Hi, pulling of the ear is not acceptable. I can accept the teacher to scold my child or make him stand outside the classroom or throwing the book. But not pulling the ear. (For me, this should be done by the father and mother only.)

You can have a talk with the teacher and see what can be done to resolve the problem. Even my 2nd DS has this problem of not able to sit properly during lesson. Teachers complain and his teacher is good to make him sit somewhere near front and in the center of the class. I knew that the teacher also try to make the class more interesting. But not all his teachers, at least some, try to do it.

At home, I also monitor my son, in a way, I make him do his homework in front of me. So I know what’s wrong with him and correct his posture or call him back when his mind wander off. Even though, I tell him if you concentrate and finish fast, you’ve more time to play, he still tends to do it very slow. But at least, we as parents are trying.

I believe that day by day, by instilling the right thoughts to him, he’ll improve. You can slowly lengthen the time while he is sitting doing work, like starting with 10 min, then a bit longer the next time. So don’t give up! Talk to the teacher first, especially his form teacher. Be cool and calm when discuss with the teacher and look at what can be done to help the child best.

[MOTY]

It sounds like the teacher cannot cope and lost control of herself, resorting to the use of violence to address your son’s behaviour.


It is not appropriate as it teaches your child physical aggression is an appropriate tool to have in one’s repertoire for conflict resolution.

From her choice of disciplinary action it seems the teacher is not very talented. Nevertheless, the ideal situation would be to work with the teacher to address your son’s developmental issues. Suggestions:

- preserve the integrety of the parent-teacher relationship by not involving the principal initially (may be necessary if the teacher doesn’t want to cooperate)
- Find out more about the dynamics of your child’s classroom and the role he contributes to the conflict by talking to both your son and the teacher.
- inform the teacher the steps that you have actively taken to address the issues.
- offering and discussing acceptable methods of disciplining your child but making clear you do not accept physical discipline.
- keep open a channel of regular communication for updates and to resolve future issues.

Good luck.

[xmas]

If it’s really a special need, it’s for the best interest to send the kid to special school.

[lcchai]

hmmm, when i was in pri schl back in m’sia, saw a few kids smokin in toilet so i told disciplinary master n they were all canned in front of whole school. When i studied in s’pore, pri n sec used to c students canned in front of schl, class. My sec schl friend even told me kena slapped by teacher, (we shared same class in s3 n s4, incident happened in s1).

i always tell my children, need to behave properly in sch, unless u get beaten for no good reason, otherwise dont come home crying. Better learn to behave when the most u get is a slap or cane, instead of getting a knife in ur gut when u r out there in society. No Second Chance in Life.
Of course I m not saying dont ask dont care, but I m sure teacher will not raise hands on students without justifications.
We are still part animals, i.e. do certain things n u get hurt, after a few times it gets imprint in u, n u will stop doing the wrong thing. Maybe its just my way of thinking, haha!

[MOTY]

Caning as a predefined punishment for misbehaviour is different from " having ears pulled and books thrown on the floor."


Caning, if conducted properly, is like a currency you exchange as payment for offenses against you social order. It is possible to move forth with dignity after you have discharged your debt.

This child’s punishment on the other hand focus purely on humilation. The non verbal message that the teacher is communicating is that "you are like these books I have thrown on the floor…a piece of trash." This is a high price base on destruction of the child’s self worth that he may continue to pay unconsciously from many years to come.

I think if we want our children to become a person of worth, then we should teach and punishment without their having to shed their dignity.

[Imami]

MOTY:

Caning as a predefined punishment for misbehaviour is different from \" having ears pulled and books thrown on the floor.\"


Caning, if conducted properly, is like a currency you exchange as payment for offenses against you social order. It is possible to move forth with dignity after you have discharged your debt.

This child's punishment on the other hand focus purely on humilation. The non verbal message that the teacher is communicating is that \"you are like these books I have thrown on the floor..a piece of trash.\" This is a high price base on destruction of the child's self worth that he may continue to pay unconsciously from many years to come.

I think if we want our children to become a person of worth, then we should teach and punishment without their having to shed their dignity.

Hmm... Understand. Some thought provoking paragraphs here for tome to ponder upon...

OT a bit - there are people of all sorts and some times we have no way to stop them from entering our children's world (like this teacher and what was done to the child).

What can we, as parents, do to help our children to be more resilient against such situations? I am looking for opinions/ideas which we could put in place So that our children don't fall victims into someone's tactless deeds. Like what moty said, still paying after years. :sad: I may need these ideas real soon.....

[Oppsgal]

Nebbermind:

just wondering, for parents who have disruptive kids, what would be the acceptable punishment for the diff kind of misdeed, eg, disturbing neighbours, speaking out of turn, rude to teacher, uncooperative in acitivities etc....

For me, i will accept teachers punishing my kid, by making my kid stand facing the wall and pull OWN ears, do push up on the floor (but must be within capability, and not overdo).

I do not accept making to do writing lines as see as waste of time. No pulling ears by teachers. For spanking, is still alright if is on the palms (no equipment- rulers, canes not allow, can only use hand to spank), but the reason to spank must be reasonable enough. After punishment, is a must to explain why got the punishment and must notify me.

Not sure I am strict enough?

[Oppsgal]

If my kid ever have a teacher that starts throwing books on the floor, I will get my kid to tell that teacher - books are for reading, not for throwing on the floor. Please cherish the books and not damage the materials, plus the book is not a ball or Frisbee that is meant for throwing.

[Mychildren]

MOTY:

Caning as a predefined punishment for misbehaviour is different from \" having ears pulled and books thrown on the floor.\"


Caning, if conducted properly, is like a currency you exchange as payment for offenses against you social order. It is possible to move forth with dignity after you have discharged your debt.

This child's punishment on the other hand focus purely on humilation. The non verbal message that the teacher is communicating is that \"you are like these books I have thrown on the floor..a piece of trash.\" This is a high price base on destruction of the child's self worth that he may continue to pay unconsciously from many years to come.

I think if we want our children to become a person of worth, then we should teach and punishment without their having to shed their dignity.

There are pros and cons to the way and how the way punishments are done. It also depends on how the child think about this punishments. Do the child feel it this way,\"The teacher did this for my good, I need to change for the better.\" or ,\"I feel humiliated, I won't go to school anymore.\"

In fact every parents, children and in fact teachers wants that quoted in dark blue. We can discuss on what should be teach and what kind of punishment can be carry out without shedding their dignity. I am :scratchhead: .