Bedroom Issue

[ahkeong]

sigh


sad to say others having the opposite of my problem!!

haha

[Acy]

Me and my hubby is around the same age as u n ur hubby. First,u gota know whether is your hubby stress at work or any stressful stuff?

Secondly, for men above 40s, they are easily prone to ED. and this to men, is a big affect in their ego. Thus, they probably might feel inferior or unable to satisfied their wife,so it leads to NO to sex.
3) but for 1 years plus for married couples, is consider kinda weird? Either he is cheating(perhaps he is wise in clearing evidences? I m only presume ) Or he is using his imagination and passing the "job" to his buddy(his hand)? or ED?
But I believe that the most important thing for a married couple is to have a real serious talk with him let him know how you feel these 1 year plus? Find out what is affecting your marriage? Sexless marriage and even without physical close contact for sooo long, could gradually lead to serious problems in your marriage. solve this fast if not, a marriage could be destroy. And btw, every marriage at least will sure need close physical contacts.
I had solve my Similar problem few months back and now we are a happy couple:) best of luck!

[Rena06]

Thanks for the advice.I guess most of us women have this issue somehow in marriage life.It is very difficult to talk to someone close to you cause bedroom issue are private and being asian, we tends not to discuss such things. :imdrowning:

[osim]

It's okay to have low libido for some period of our marriage life. However, it needs to be worked on as intimacy is crucial in a couple's marriage.


One thing about guys is that you need to make them think of you even when you are not there. It sort of prime them for the night. You see, they have weak eyes and like to fantasize. Like some forumners here said, touch, kiss, dress sexy or even 'accidentally' exposing yourself to him (of course not in front of kids), like being in your undies and changing in front of him but act like normal . Give DH a good rub down with a nice massage oil from time to time, no one will ever turn away from a nice body massage.

Nowadays, the easily available internet porn can also 'neuter' a man. Very hard to match those people in there and all couple must be careful not to allow this to derail their sexual expectation.

[macrotrust]

Man in general are not interested in sex could be due to various reasons:

1) too stress in life - work n family. ie low energy
2) no longer find you sexual appealing any more- ie no more thrill or surprise or predictable or boring sex position
3) dont want to waste his energy for you or for someone else through some other channel u can think of.
4) could be a medical condition- still no excuse can seek some medication if ED
5) life focus is changing due to career goal - dont need to satify your sexual urge ie it your own problem.
6) maybe u no longer attractive as before- no mood for sex
7) lingerie thing may work once or twice but not sustainable- bottom line is what he got to explain why sex is not appealing to him anymore in comparison to past. of course nobody will know if he is telling the truth- deep down- he know himself.

maybe you can get him drunk and who know he may reveal the real "self" or have loose talk. please don be judgemental about his value as to hurt his male ego .dont try to offer solution or rememdies if he does not ask for it- as u know most asia man are MCP and to save face for him.

[Happie Mummy]

Just a quick survey

- how many times of sex do you n spouse have on average per week? And the number of years you’re married?
(objective is just to ‘guage’ the average or norm for a couple to have, being married for 6 years)
- for woman : how many times per week is ‘good’ to you?
- for man : how many times per week do you think is ‘sufficient’?

[Alex75]

It is commonly said that sex is between the two ears and not between the two legs, and therefore sexual issues often emanate from the mind. Of course, there could be some issues requiring medical intervention or intervention from an experienced sex therapist, or psychotherapist and/or a relationship counsellor too. But for now, let us examine some common sexual issues couples have and how to solve them.

[clairengxy]

Be tactful and talk it out. Sometimes going to a marriage counselor or even sex therapist can help. It’s a lot about communication.

[oregene]

From a guys perspective… There are a few reasons a man has little desire for sex with wife.

1. Health issues. Being overweight decreases sex drive.
2. Mental issues. There is a problem with the r/s. Either he is seeing someone else, and gets his needs fulfilled elsewhere, or that there is an issue with your r.s with him.
3. He dont find wife attractive anymore.

Have a good chat. If he is still fulfilling his own needs on his own, then maybe there is some issue going on with the r/s/