hey qms,


Will join the maids discussion threads. But I think many may not subscribe to our views abt handling the maid.

Basically, we take a v patient and passive approach - meaning look away, subtly take over or tell her nicely there and then when she commits a minor error, then wait till the right time to explain to her nicely - which is when I/DH am doing it so that we can be a role model - then we take the opportunity to explain the rationale behind our actions and the consequences of her actions to her.

Her EL is quite good, therefore this method works. Also, she is here for a purpose, she is saving up money to buy land back in Indo. So I think that is why she is motivated to work. Though she can get moody at times. This patience of mine towards my helper, believe me, had to be cultivated over a period of time. I always bear in mind that she is taking care of my son. That to a certain extent, keeps me in check whenever I am annoyed at her mistakes, because my son is only 2 yrs old. Have heard and seen too many horror stories abt helpers who go ‘rogue’.

We do not set too many rules. we prefer to show by example because they can be quite inflexible and have a one track mind, and stick to the rules v rigidly. Will contribute in the maid thread lah. If not, this will be nverending.

morn chiefkiasu,


Hmm doubt they ever will, plot's too dull for them.

They would want to add in more 'curry powder' like fight scenes bet father and DH during courtship days and possibly a catfight scene bet me and the girl who tried to 'potong jalan' .....

I wouldn't want them to deviate from the authenticity .... :lol:

hi qmx, thx.


With regards to whether I have a maid. Yes, but there is the BUT.... which is, she is merely an assistant who does the household chores and babysits when I really can't be with my boy. When my DH returns from work, he spends time with him. We do not leave him alone with the maid unless really really can't make alternative arrgements. That said, we come back really fast. Simple things like paying bills thru AXS machines, DH brings him, so much so that it has become a ritual for him and he looks forward to it My in-laws are v v kind because they offer to spend time with him when I need to go out.

I am the primary caregiver of my son, I do the cooking and other things like marketing (I do it alone) etc besides housework. I have a sensitive nose and it reacts easily. The decision to have a live-in maid only came abt when boy was 3 mths plus. My hubby is a stickler for cleanliness and with the new baby ....

I am v v fortunate cuz the I don't hve major (only minor ones which can be overlooked or explained to her nicely) complaints abt my maid. She doesn't skive in her work and my boy adores her and vice versa. The only grouse :x i hve is that she 'nicks'(she does put them back) my brand new magazines almost evrytime even before I can read them. But I look the other way cuz she is taking good care of him and does not have an off day.

Hey titank, thx.


Buds, have just posted my v v v long love story. Hope that will detract the others now from your case/back. Gnite!!

Hi,


My turn now to share. Bear with me, to some or many, this may be akin to a bollywood love story, sans the dancing ard the coconut tree:

Chapt 1: Sometime in Oct 1990
Girl, in a last min whim, decided to attend friend's bf bday celebration at a local hotspot then near Forum. According to boy, (DH) who was sitting at the table on the opposite side and who saw the girl, what attracted him to her was her beauty (his admission, not mine) and carefree nature. Girl, at that point, did not know he existed. DH tried to buy her a drink but alas she had disappeared! i.e gone home lah!

Chapt 2: A few days later
DH in the meantime, tried to get my contact thru a frd of his who saw the grp I was with and who claimed to know some of my frds. Somehow, DH got my frd's frd's contact and called her to find out abt me. My frd became the middleman bet her frd and me as her frd kept passing msgs from DH to my frd and she to me. I refused to partake in any conversation with him cuz I was just being cautious. Nonetheless, aft some persuasion from my frd, I agreed to let her frd pass my contact to DH. What won me over finally was his persistence, he refused to give up trying to contact me.

Chapt 3: A month and some weeks later
We had been chatting since then, aft fobbing him off for a mth plus... I decided to really keep the date. I had chicken out the first two times by giving him some excuses. Again he persisted patiently. During the course of our conversation, I found out that my frd's frd had tried to 'potong jalan' by trying to find out personal details abt him on the pretext that I wanted to know - how naughty!!!

Chapt 4: 1st Date
He was waiting for me outside somerset MRT, leaning against his car and trying to look 'stylo'. Aft some hiccups - like me shaking me leg continuously in the car cuz I was so nervous and controlling the sense of thrill cuz he was the first guy that I was going out with who drove!!! - It went off to a good start and we hit it off pretty well. But I have to say that being young then, I was extremely naive and petty not v mature, but he put up with my nonsense. The relationship was sometimes quite volatile.

Chapt 5: Parents' discovery
Coming from a conservative family, parents didn't approve of me dating, also although same race, but diff ethnic grp. Forbade me to see him, said ok, but of course sneaked ard and abt. Parents found out, big confrontation, I moved out, DH tried to reconcile us. Finally intro him to them. Father was cool, but mom gave him dagger looks - \"if looks could kill, I would have been dead\" said DH. But DH tried to win my mom over, who, sad to say, only relented aft my dad's passing.

Chapt 6: Further Studies
DH was due to go overseas for undergraduate studies. We decided to keep the relationship \"open\" - keep in touch but free to date - More of my idea cuz I would rather he be honest with me throughout than keep secrets from me. Basically, he dated, I waited. Sometimes, it was really hard, him telling me abt the pretty blond girls or those with exotic mediterrenean features. Inevitably, there was a 3rd party. I kept calm and dealt with it on my own. When he returned, I tried to win him back again, and rekindle what we had and to assure him that I was different now as I had matured. But I made sure I did not put him under pressure. Only wanted him to come back to 'us' on his own accord. By then, we had been together for 7 yrs.

Chapt 7: Decision time
Aft much thought, he realized that I was the ONE aft all. He had been deluding himself. Confessed that even while dating he always thought of me. Just that he was so tired of us constantly arguing over petty matters. Finally, when he had made up his mind, I asked him what was the deciding factor - he replied by way of an analogy - that if he was ever kidnapped or lost in some jungle - he knew deep in his heart that I would -come hell or high water - never give up looking for him. He said that he had never ever felt that strong sense of stability that he felt with me when he dated the others. I was really touched when I heard that. :love:

Chapt 8: Proposal time
He proposed to me in London. My first overseas trip with him, aft pleading my case to my dad, I was allowed to go. Of course I assured him that I was staying with my frd, but.... Anyway, once there, I saw a really nice branded watch that I really liked but could not afford. He decided to buy me that on the sly and I remember wondering why he did not want me to hold his jacket for him in the tube, it was only because he was hiding the the wach box. He brought me to Butler's Wharf and proposed by telling me that the bad news was that he could not afford a diamond ring, BUT the good news was that he had bought me something I liked and as he took out the box, he asked me to marry him. Well, touched again. He actually took an overdraft to pay for the watch. :love:

Chapt 9: The End (but actually not, still more to tell, but better not ... or will be accused of hogging) :oops: Its been 18 yrs since we've been together and 10 yrs since we've married. Marriage wasn't blissful in the beginning cuz its the real thing - learning to compromise, the in-laws etc.. v v different from courtship days. But, through many up and downs, trials and errors, we perservered and here we are today with a wonderful, beautiful boy.

Chapt 10: Reflections
What really keeps our relationship going is our ability to have really OPEN conversations. We can be out together and I can make a comment like 'hey, look at that hunk' and vice versa and we both take it on our stride. Another example - I am also able to have OPEN conversations with him abt my in-laws without him taking any offence. I really appreciate that.

Well, thats all for now folks. For those who have perservered and read through the entire mini-romance novel, many thanks. For those who didn't or couldn't - I don't blame you

thx buds,


Just stumbled upon the topic on parent's lovestory. Will contribute mine soon

Yup, am well aware that this is more than just an 'informative' forum. Some of the interactive threads here have really made me smile/laugh.

oh and btw, wealth, wealth wealth ...... :lol:

Hi,


Autumnbronze here. Am a SAHM with a 2yr old boy. Came across your forum some months back while searching for a kindy for my son. Its provided me with a wealth of guidance and information. Thank you!!!