standchart have bonu$aver account of 1.88% per annum, but you need to spend at least $500 on their credit card / debit card.


the $500 easy to chalk up…just pay your utilities bills, telco bills, internet bills, etc. via vpost or swipe card at the merchant directly (cannot use the SCB online payment to bill organisation, they don’t count that to your $500) and you will get 1.88% p.a.

losing credibility as a true story…

terry:

If it makes any1 feel better, i oso play truant in sec sch. But i din really hv bad intentions lah..


Just cant wakeup in time,so late to sch. (i take public bus abt 45mins journey). But by the time reach sch, they alrdy singing national anthem..so i tot y embarass myself right? Smmore, sure the discipline master will c me walking across the field. Cannot siam.

So i just went to nearby mac's for breakfast. After assembly then sneak into the sch.
Tat was in sec 2 or 3.

Haha, exactly same situation for me in JC. I even had 'breakfast buddies' with me - those perpetually late-comers. Also 45min to 1hr bus ride every morning, some mornings it is so crowded, I had to stand the whole way on the bus.

Growing up, I too was a seriously problematic kid (actually, even now I still have issues and act out hehe..not perfect). Like Imami's parents, I had a pretty cool mom (single parent).

In Primary 6, I was involved in a 'gang' fight. Went home with cuts and bruises. In Secondary 4, I shoplifted (yeah, both crucial years). Between teenage angst and fooled with the mindset of the invincibility of the youth, I stole from a department store and ended up in a police station. I spent 10-12 hrs there, reading books I borrowed from the library that day (the officers didn't put me in a cell with other criminals, thankfully..they put me in a chair in a corner).

I was in EM1 in Pri sch and then went to a very good secondary school. Somehow, I did relatively well in O levels and went to one of the top 5 JCs despite the dramas at every stage of my education. Then I went to NTU and graduated with a degree (Hons).

I'm not blowing my own horn here..I'm just sharing my own experience because I'm sure your girl will turn out fine. Don't have to be at your wits' end. Being a rebel doesn't mean he or she will fail in life. The parents need to be cool enough to let the kid understand what 'work hard, play hard' means, and letting them know that their life is theirs to live out. They need to be responsible for their own actions.

It wasn't that I was 'unchallenged' by academics, I acted out because I couldn't see what I was studying for. I didn't see the point of being excellent in studies, even if I could. At that point, I only wanted to get by each day happy. Happy WAS defined as acting spontaneously, so long as my wants are gratified, who cares whether I do well in school or not? I lived in the moment, living each day as if it was my last. If I wanted to read (ok, I enjoy reading and writing so maybe that helped me not fail), I will read whether or not it's lesson time. If I read till my eyes are tired, I will find a way to get out of class to sleep in the dance studio or other empty rooms in school. Studies didn't rank too high to me at that time, since studying is for long-term benefits and I'm not thinking long-term. I even mapped out my 'worse-case scenario' future - \"work in Macdonalds lor\".

Getting to Uni was the crucial part since I was already in JC by then (waste time if go Poly after), so that's when my mom decided to 'wake me up'. She said, \"Whatever you do, get to local Uni and graduate. That's all I want from you, and all I can afford too.\" So my goal was set, it became clear for me what I needed to achieve (at least in the short term at JC2). And things changed from there on, in terms of my attitude towards studies. Everything else didn't change, I was still a wild child..but with a purpose that reined me in.

All parents can do is guide and advise..especially for bright kids with a wild streak during adolescent, the tighter your control, the more they will find ways of rebelling behind your back and it gets tougher and tougher to find out. My mom was truly cool..she even brought me to my first clubbing session while I was still underaged, at a super popular club then, Centro..haha, she managed to get me and my friends in by assuring the bouncers that I'm here with mom, so she will be responsible for everything that happens! Had my mom been a control freak..I'm absolutely sure, given my nature and mindset at that time, I'd have veered off into the 'dark side'.

Good luck with your girl! She's a bright kid, she'll come around. And to all parents dealing with adolescents, try to remember what you did/ was thinking about in your teenage years..might help you understand your child better.

Please do what u can to stop it before something irreversible and undesired happens.


Be strong for your girl.

Hopefully, you continue with this china-babe and slowly develop more feelings. Try and become beyond colleagues, beyond friends, towards lovers. I honestly, from the bottom of my heart, wish you would man up and take your affair up one notch. Now everything is half-baked - marriage half-baked, affair half-baked, nothing is accomplished.


SO MAN UP AND GO FOR THE PRC ALREADY!

Your wife and kids deserve to break away from you soonest possible. So be a good husband and father by going all the way with your affair so that your family can start fresh soon. You have already strayed, no point sitting on the fence. Only women, and men without balls, can sit on fences (cos you know, it hurts that area between your thighs less). The best you can do for your family now is to let them go…to start anew. Your wife deserves more than a man whose heart has already strayed.

BE A MAN. LEAVE YOUR WIFE. FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED.

Your family deserves more than a half-baked guy that you are right now.

mommy2two, thanks for your kind words.


My mom was a single-mom who brought me and sister up when I was only about 9yo. She and my dad divorced because of ‘irreconcilable differences’, which was truly the case. Both were already unhappy by the time I was 2-3yo and filed for divorce, hence went through a couple of years of separation. But then they didn’t give up, they tried to get back, and my sister came along. Despite all their efforts, they really couldn’t make it work together, so the divorced went through.

However, and I only found this out much later - when I was about 16-18yo, my aunt told me that she observed that I was very temperamental (at times subdued, at times throwing tantrums) when my parents were trying to make it work, unlike after the divorce. I became much more like my former self after the divorce went through.

My mom and dad broke up but it was, I would say 70% amicable. They became acquaintances and my mom who got custody of us, never stopped my dad from seeing us, even bringing us to visit our paternal family after the divorce at times.

What I’m trying to say is, divorce is not necessarily the worse-case scenario for the kids. In fact, I acted out while my parents were trying to make it work, probably because I could sense the unhappiness around me. Kids just want to see parents happy. If the marriage isn’t making you happy anymore, and is doing you more harm than good, my view is that divorce isn’t the end of the world; it can even be a good thing for all parties. So long as post-divorce, both parents don’t become enemies. Don’t play mind games or be sour, for the kids’ sake. After the divorce, my parents were amicable and sometimes even sharing a smile when we meet up. As a kid, I no longer saw mommy and daddy fighting, I saw them becoming ‘friends’. And you know ‘friends’ to kids represent fun, play, company, happiness. Which is probably why I gradually resumed my old self.

My mom never spoke bad about my dad after the divorce (even though he never gave maintenance - yes, my mom received next to nothing). She always told us, he’s our dad no matter what. And when we were older (secondary school), it’s eventually up to us to accept or reject him in our lives next time. I’m not saying my mom’s a saint, she also had her fair share of unpleasant things to say about my dad. But she kept those words to the minimal in front of me and my sis, only turning to other adults for outpouring, not to the kids. I never knew all these until I was much older.

I am not advocating divorce, but I would say an amicably divorced couple maintaining goodwill in front of the kids, might be a better option than a whole but depressed and unhappy family. Everyone has the right to pursuit happiness, don’t be mistaken that staying together for the kids is always the best option. Had my parents forced their marriage to continue but engaged in cold wars all the time, I might have become a delinquent by the time I was a teenager.

Good luck mommy2two!

From ancient China to modern Singapore, this ILs issue is the same. Every generation has the same issues. It won’t die with our generation for sure. Much as I’d like to think I confirm guarantee plus chop won’t become a horrid MIL, who is to say what is horrid and what isn’t? Maybe what we think is horrid, is normal to them becos of their own upbringing…


Not that I’m siding la…I just think that this cycle never seems to break, throughout recorded human history, ILs relationships are always the most problematic…there should be some serious studies on this. Shed some light on why is it that even when times have changed, even in different cultures, countries, etc., this fundamental human relationship issue has never found a resolution… It must be something unavoidable then…since we humans are so smart and all that but yet we can’t solve this. It must be something we will inevitably face next time too…when we become the ILs. Unless we break ties with our children, let that family unit be on its own…

I used to believe in talking and thrashing things out rather than cold war, so me and my guy never really cold war much, at most is half a day or cold war in the morning but by evenings, both forget we’re warring and its fine.


However, there was once, just a couple of months back, we quarreled over something. I felt he was somewhat neglectful of my feelings (ok, its really a small thing, you may roll your eyes when you read the next line) - we made plans and agreed to do A, he at the super last minute got called by his brother to do B, so he just told me we’re going to do B. So I blew up. Here’s why:

1. He didn’t explain to his brother we had A planned. He just agreed to do B, without mentioning A.
2. He told me we’re going to do B, not asked if I’m cool with doing B (which I would’ve perfectly agreed to, after I found out what B was). So the point being, he just assumes I wanna do B with him (yes, I did. But it’s a simple matter of respect…"Baby you ok with doing B?" would’ve sufficed! Instead, it became "We’re doing B. Meet us there.")
3. 90% of me wanted to just let it go, it was a ridiculously small matter! Like changing dinner location only…but that day, it felt like he just disregarded me one too many times. I told him how I felt about such decisions before, and we would quarrel but will resolve very quickly becos the matter is soooo tiny. But over time, this tiny matter keeps popping up. He keeps making these assumptions, and what we planned is easily superseded by what others come up with at the last minute.

So I blew up - silently. I ignored him for 2 days, over the weekend - which is an insane amount of time spent in each other’s company, unlike weekdays when we’re at work in the daytime. I’m a talker; I’m a serious chatterbox. So it took EVERYTHING I had not to open my mouth to talk to him, even when he was pacifying me. To me, it’s the same treatment he gave me when he ignored the message I relayed to him the previous few times. He ignored me mentally (shutting out the message I repeatedly gave), so I decided to ignore him physically (cold war). I felt like he completely disregards or doesn’t see that it was a big deal to me. Perhaps becos each time we quarrel, we make up quite fast and we’re very happy again, that he assumes that for small matters, its ok to forget and repeat.