In-law problems?

[Andaiz]

hquek:

Generally (not all), in MIL's eyes, DILs had 'taken' their position in the sons' heart as the No. 1 lady, that's where the conflict starts.

One mountain cannot house 2 tigress.

Man, don't I know that....some two years back, when DH was away and couldn't answer for himself, MIL came to me with a really sob story - and FIL was really livid, shouting even about lack of respect etc etc etc... :roll: oso dunno why he shouted man, then she said \"oh, she doesn't know lah...you know XX's my son, so he'll tell me everything loh. Aiyah, he's so familiar with me - thirty odd years already, that's why he takes it out on me loh!\"

Now, I know DH may be impatient with MIL (cos she's forgetful and loves to nag) but I doubt he'd scream at her, or as FIL puts it \"nearly want to hit <MIL>\".

Then to add fuel to fire, she continued, \"yahlah, he's always been very close to me one, we always share everything wha...that's why he behaved like that, maybe?\"

To which I answered evenly and with a slight smile, \"oh mama, thank you for looking after him all these years. Now that he's married me, he's sharing things with me as he should with his WIFE. That's the way it should be right?\"

That shut her up...

Honestly, it still hurts me to know that she asked him - some months after we got married -if he thought he'd made the right choice; and if he wanted to back out??!?! I know I come from a working class background, live in a HDB flat, and my family leads a simple lifestyle....but her gall! And to think that she's overseas educated leh, and extremely pro family - the thoughts you'd plant in your son's head! :siao:

Recently, DH was to go a trip with some friends and his parents (long story how MIL got to go on the trip!). As the date neared, he was showing signs of cold feet liao - second thoughts about having to put up with his parents etc...you see, their relationship (FIL and MIL) have not been good. When he was still single, he used to be mediator of them both and he's MIL's sounding board lo (now you know why she said all those hurtful things), so he doesn't want to be sandwiched again!

I encouraged him to go and promised that I'd hold the fort with our 3 little ones as (i) they (PIL) are not getting younger; (ii) can tell FIL really wants to go on the trip, (iii) good for them to also see how he's changed now that he's a married man. (see I have faith in my man!)

What I didn't bargain for was that he came away appreciating me more :celebrate: ...for all MIL did on the trip was count his caloric intake, insult him for being FAT, blame my parents for making him that way (i.e., all the meat we cook etc) and generally being very negative and naggy!!!!

Poor guy, but I think he stood up well against her and told her in no uncertain terms that she needed to learn to respect him as an individual - and also to acknowledge that partly his size is due to genes inherited from HER side of the family.

[ghostz]

I only just stumbled on this poll. Would we ever know whether there is a gender slant in voting yes or no? Or rather were the yes or no mostly male or female.

[ChiefKiasu]

ghostz:

I only just stumbled on this poll. Would we ever know whether there is a gender slant in voting yes or no? Or rather were the yes or no mostly male or female.

We'll never know. But logic applies that most that says YES are probably MALE

[ZacK]

buds hubs:

RRMummy:

hey buds hubs, like that cute hatching pix you chose for your avatar.. nicer than the dragon-o you had!

Thanks.. Actually its supposed to move but dunno why its 'dead' ...

Is yours supposed to hop out and do a belly dance like CKS'

[winth]

We introduced this 快乐学堂 to my MIL. It's supported by MCYS and it has a full suite of activities that last one full day for 10 weeks, so MIL chose to occupy her Saturday with this program to learn more about chinese medicine. Just in case, anyone is interested, here's the website: http://www.yah.org.sg


For someone who has been going on depression mode for the past n years, we do note a real change in her. She bought new shoes, did her hair and was excited about the course. Hopefully she'll find better use of her time instead of staying at home all weekend. Even last week, she sat down with my hubby for an hour telling him all about what happened during the course. DH was very happy to listen to a change in her topics, as opposed to fish in market, no money, hubby what what or son what what etc.

Oh, about my SIL and her hubby, I think 2-year-old DS2 hates her hubby. My previous post: SIL went telling DS2 that he is a dirty boy (4x) and her hubby was shouting at DS2 (in front of me) for trying to occupy a seat, but when DH came into the scene, the hubby was like to DS2.

2 weekends ago, DS2 punched him on the back and walked away. Last week, DS2 punched him again on his lap before walking to us. But bec DH was around when that happened (clever DS2), the hubby was just :shock: and :lol: to DH. DH and I were 'secretly' happy that DS2 fought for himself bec I think that might not be the only episode I had witnessed from what SIL and hubby had done to DS2.

I know it's not good to encourage children to fight back (or is it???), but I think this time, I fully understand why DS2 did what he did.

DS2 did almost the same thing last time when our previous maid pinched him (there were pinch marks on his lap plus he kept making the pinching action when maid not around). He actually slapped the 'princess' maid on her head (real hard) while she was having bf.

[Andaiz]

winth:

I know it's not good to encourage children to fight back (or is it???), but I think this time, I fully understand why DS2 did what he did.

No Winth, it's not good to encourage kids to fight violence with violence; but I'm mighty glad your DS2 learnt to stand up for himself :salute: . Mebbe next time could teach him to do it in another way lah (not sure how old he is though!).

Your MIL into TCM as well? I agree with you - gives her something to talk about besides all that complaining right? Kudos to you!

Well, mine has moved on from her homeopathic fixation to TCM now and is always telling DH to eat this, eat that, massage here, massage there. I must take my hat off her in her steadfastness and focus but very cham loh, poor guy gets fed medication IN FRONT of his friends (i.e., literally put capsule in his mouth) throughout the trip I mentioned above :oops:

[winth]

Andaiz:

Your MIL into TCM as well?

Oh, it's called TCM??? We didn't know the English name for it. My friend works there, we met her for lunch and she started telling us all about it. DH got a form from her that very day and was real worried MIL wouldn't sign up for she usually disagrees more than she agrees on anything. But that day, miracle must have happened and there wasn't a need for any persuasion! It sure made our day.

Andaiz:

No Winth, it's not good to encourage kids to fight violence with violence; but I'm mighty glad your DS2 learnt to stand up for himself :salute:. Mebbe next time could teach him to do it in another way lah (not sure how old he is though!).

He's 2, so quite difficult to draw a line right now as he can't express himself very well. Bec if we teach him that he couldn't 'fight' for himself or it's wrong to make a stand, then he might get bullied when he should have stood up. He doesn't really do such things to people (he's usually the cuddly type of boy), only those he really really dun like. So far, he has only done that to SIL's hubby and ex-maid.

[Andaiz]

winth:

Oh, it's called TCM???

Yep, Traditional Chinese Medicine.

winth:

He's 2, so quite difficult to draw a line right now as he can't express himself very well. ... only those he really really dun like. So far, he has only done that to SIL's hubby and ex-maid.

Kids don't lie and it's a natural reaction. Very natural indeed.
But fiesty hoh? Way to go, boy!

[ghostz]

ChiefKiasu:

ghostz:

I only just stumbled on this poll. Would we ever know whether there is a gender slant in voting yes or no? Or rather were the yes or no mostly male or female.

We'll never know. But logic applies that most that says YES are probably MALE

Hohoho I think so too! In-laws, outlaws... all a matter of perspective

[ImMeeMee]

I voted nay. At the end of the day, I still prefer my own privacy and how my things can be done my way.


its tough to live with the in-laws.