In-law problems?

[winth]

We introduced this 快乐学堂 to my MIL. It's supported by MCYS and it has a full suite of activities that last one full day for 10 weeks, so MIL chose to occupy her Saturday with this program to learn more about chinese medicine. Just in case, anyone is interested, here's the website: http://www.yah.org.sg


For someone who has been going on depression mode for the past n years, we do note a real change in her. She bought new shoes, did her hair and was excited about the course. Hopefully she'll find better use of her time instead of staying at home all weekend. Even last week, she sat down with my hubby for an hour telling him all about what happened during the course. DH was very happy to listen to a change in her topics, as opposed to fish in market, no money, hubby what what or son what what etc.

Oh, about my SIL and her hubby, I think 2-year-old DS2 hates her hubby. My previous post: SIL went telling DS2 that he is a dirty boy (4x) and her hubby was shouting at DS2 (in front of me) for trying to occupy a seat, but when DH came into the scene, the hubby was like to DS2.

2 weekends ago, DS2 punched him on the back and walked away. Last week, DS2 punched him again on his lap before walking to us. But bec DH was around when that happened (clever DS2), the hubby was just :shock: and :lol: to DH. DH and I were 'secretly' happy that DS2 fought for himself bec I think that might not be the only episode I had witnessed from what SIL and hubby had done to DS2.

I know it's not good to encourage children to fight back (or is it???), but I think this time, I fully understand why DS2 did what he did.

DS2 did almost the same thing last time when our previous maid pinched him (there were pinch marks on his lap plus he kept making the pinching action when maid not around). He actually slapped the 'princess' maid on her head (real hard) while she was having bf.

[Andaiz]

winth:

I know it's not good to encourage children to fight back (or is it???), but I think this time, I fully understand why DS2 did what he did.

No Winth, it's not good to encourage kids to fight violence with violence; but I'm mighty glad your DS2 learnt to stand up for himself :salute: . Mebbe next time could teach him to do it in another way lah (not sure how old he is though!).

Your MIL into TCM as well? I agree with you - gives her something to talk about besides all that complaining right? Kudos to you!

Well, mine has moved on from her homeopathic fixation to TCM now and is always telling DH to eat this, eat that, massage here, massage there. I must take my hat off her in her steadfastness and focus but very cham loh, poor guy gets fed medication IN FRONT of his friends (i.e., literally put capsule in his mouth) throughout the trip I mentioned above :oops:

[winth]

Andaiz:

Your MIL into TCM as well?

Oh, it's called TCM??? We didn't know the English name for it. My friend works there, we met her for lunch and she started telling us all about it. DH got a form from her that very day and was real worried MIL wouldn't sign up for she usually disagrees more than she agrees on anything. But that day, miracle must have happened and there wasn't a need for any persuasion! It sure made our day.

Andaiz:

No Winth, it's not good to encourage kids to fight violence with violence; but I'm mighty glad your DS2 learnt to stand up for himself :salute:. Mebbe next time could teach him to do it in another way lah (not sure how old he is though!).

He's 2, so quite difficult to draw a line right now as he can't express himself very well. Bec if we teach him that he couldn't 'fight' for himself or it's wrong to make a stand, then he might get bullied when he should have stood up. He doesn't really do such things to people (he's usually the cuddly type of boy), only those he really really dun like. So far, he has only done that to SIL's hubby and ex-maid.

[Andaiz]

winth:

Oh, it's called TCM???

Yep, Traditional Chinese Medicine.

winth:

He's 2, so quite difficult to draw a line right now as he can't express himself very well. ... only those he really really dun like. So far, he has only done that to SIL's hubby and ex-maid.

Kids don't lie and it's a natural reaction. Very natural indeed.
But fiesty hoh? Way to go, boy!

[ghostz]

ChiefKiasu:

ghostz:

I only just stumbled on this poll. Would we ever know whether there is a gender slant in voting yes or no? Or rather were the yes or no mostly male or female.

We'll never know. But logic applies that most that says YES are probably MALE

Hohoho I think so too! In-laws, outlaws... all a matter of perspective

[ImMeeMee]

I voted nay. At the end of the day, I still prefer my own privacy and how my things can be done my way.


its tough to live with the in-laws.

[chiaeiei.06738gmail.06738com]

I decided to read all the posts in this thread because I have been really unhappy staying with my pil after 3 years.


Things are becoming worse than before.

As I walked to work today, I was crying and look up in the sky and asked what can I do?

Sometimes I feel that I don't want to go on anymore. To take my daughter and leave for NZ.

So I decided to seek some solace and I particularly was captured by all the posts by buds.

Reading your posts make me feel less alone and that everyone is going through the same thing.

Anyway, I decided that I must be positive and choose to focus on other things to distract me.

And I am happy that I have an understanding hubby who fought for our rights to move out.

In a few more months time, I hope all these problems with PIL will lessen.

[kiasimom]

I think I am quite lucky as I don't stay with my MIL.

I discussed with my DH and came to a conclusion that living under the same roof is not easy.
Everyone has different lifestyle.
I am quite lucky as my MIL will spend most of her time in USA and will come back for a few months before she flies off again.
When we don't stay together, we will miss and appreciate each other more. :celebrate:

[kwk9060]

deleted

[Yerdua]

Hi all,

Reading thru all the posts, I can't helped but feel sad as its my own mother who gave all these nasty treatment to me.

Before my dd2 was born, she moved with my younger brother to an unit just a street away from me. From my ds1, I knew tt she’s never interested in looking after grandchildren full-time and i respected tt too.

Luckily, my dh's elder sister (ES) was willing to travel to and fro our hse on wkdays to help us take care of dd2 after my maternity leave.
When i went back to work, ES (who is single and aged 65) was physical strained looking after dd2, she was always down with flu and feeling weak. I had difficulties getting leave from my co then and i felt really bad. I had no choice but to turned to my mother for help on a mon nite if she can help take care of my dd2 on thur and fri for tt particular week so tt ES can rest for a block of 4 days. (thur to sun). She agreed and i inform ES too.

But on wed nite, got a sms from my mother, saying she's down with a fever, can't help on thurs. Upon reading the sms, i called her at her hse no and hp no to find out how's is she. But nobody pick up the phone. I was worried if she was alone at home. I called my younger brother at his hp. He told me my mother was not really sick as needed to see doctor but sick enuf not to look after my dd2 as she finds her as a whininy baby. (but which 4mth old baby dun cry when leave their mother???) My younger brother advised me not to go bother her with my kids again or she will fall “sick’ again…. I was so disgusted with my mother then. Luckily, my ES was ever accommodating and said that she’s alright….

After one mth of working, I tendered my resignation as I can’t work in peace when ES is not feeling well and yet need to take care of my dd2. It’s not right to exploit her kindness towards us.

When I break this news to my mother. She said tt my elder brother has a bb too and my sil can still work can bring in $$$ and why can’t I…. When I told her straight in the face tt my sil’s mother is taking care of the baby full time while she work. And when her mother is sick, she (managerial position) can take urgent leave anytime but I can’t leave urgent leave and had no one else to take care dd2.

Her face still dared to turn black!! The next day, still complaint to my younger bro say tt I was very rude to her!!!

My DH always console me by saying this is the mother tt i have, just got to accept but it is not easy.....