What should I do?

[Castle House]

pinky:

Castle House:

Hi pinky


Just curious, what about the other child?

Now, her girl is so much older? Your sil can't let her be alone at home? Since she had left them at home themselves when she went holiday?

the other son is in U now. She didnt quire trust them at home alone when she went holidays bec she will ask her sisters to buy food for them and conduct surprise visits at night :yikes:

Wow.. she is already 19.. still schooling? and her brother is in U and the mother still need to spot check?

I don't think you can assist to control her kids at a age like this.. not even us as Mother is able to..

[snowball]

Hi Pinky,


I am glad you stand firm for not inviting your niece in ( even your hubby has accured you as being selfish !!!)

It surely will cause lots of problems if you have your niece stay with you and who know the "1 year" period could have "extended" without any notice !!!

[snowball]

yuanyuan mama:

Sometimes ago I was \"helping\" my dh's sister to take care of her young son for several months as SIL wanted her son to get a better exposure to learn English (they are from non-english speaking country). I was thinking to give dh and SIL a favor by welcoming this boy to my peaceful home, love, care and feed the same food to him and my dd, everything I gave my dd I prepared extra for him so that he won't feel left out.


I even scared to show affection to my dd openly as I used to before the boy came cos I dont want him to feel unfair treatment from me. I only gave my kiss and hug to dd when everyone was sleeping. Took the boy and dd to explore SG and join enrichment classes, all paid from my own pocket. Bought him souvenirs before he went back. Got a phone call from SIL the next day the boy arrived in his homeland asking me why I was not fair in treating my dd and her son; why I cooked lousy food for her son and causing him lost weight; why dd got to keep the PSB and not her son (PSB was given by my neighbour to dd for B'day gift), blah....blah....except \"thank you for taking care of my son, I appreciate it\"

Think twice before you take care of other's children, no matter how hard you try, people don't see the way we see it.

yuanyuan mama,

At least you could rest for sure that she will not be so \"thick skin\" to request for her boy to have another stay with you :hi5:

isnt this the BEST excuse :evil:

[bigsnoopy]

Hi pinky, I read through the posts and am very glad that the girl did not stay at your place. It’s easy to invite one in and difficult to kick them out.

[pinky]

snowball:

Hi Pinky,


I am glad you stand firm for not inviting your niece in ( even your hubby has accured you as being selfish !!!)

It surely will cause lots of problems if you have your niece stay with you and who know the \"1 year\" period could have \"extended\" without any notice !!!

exactly, I dun trust them with their promise :roll:

[pinky]

bigsnoopy:

Hi pinky, I read through the posts and am very glad that the girl did not stay at your place. It's easy to invite one in and difficult to kick them out.

thank you for your concern and advice. I shall monitor the situation very closely and be on my guard.

[phtthp]

tell yr husb this:-

==========

as a mother, your main focus, your priority, your duty, your energy channelled now is to concentrate and help yr son prepare his O level, peacefully - without any disturbance from external party walking in and out of your house.

O level is a crucial exam. It will determine his son’s path towards entering Junior college / polytechnic, and subsequently to university, the choice of subjects, and his career / profession later on.

all other external matter (yr niece, yr SIL problems) don’t concern you. You don’t have the time nor the energy to dwell on it. This is somebody else’s problem. Tell yr husband - get his own house in order first.

[adanial]

reading from the thread I feel that SIL taking advantage. I think someone shd slap your SIL and tell her to wake up… shifting responsiblity seems to be an easy way out… if the child continue to be rebellious, there is someone to be the scape goat for the child unacceptable behaviour and that is wld be you and hubby . anyway, she’s 19 and have her own mind.

[pinky]

phtthp:

tell yr husb this:-

==========

as a mother, your main focus, your priority, your duty, your energy channelled now is to concentrate and help yr son prepare his O level, peacefully - without any disturbance from external party walking in and out of your house.

O level is a crucial exam. It will determine his son's path towards entering Junior college / polytechnic, and subsequently to university, the choice of subjects, and his career / profession later on.

all other external matter (yr niece, yr SIL problems) don't concern you. You don't have the time nor the energy to dwell on it. This is somebody else's problem. Tell yr husband - get his own house in order first.

hi phtthp,
thank you for your reminder. In fact I have explained this to my son also bec he was apparently upset when my husband told him about the niece staying over. He knows my intentions (I quit my full time job when he started P6 to help with his PSLE) and he too feels that I cannot have divided attention and distraction for the next 1.5 years at least.
As for my husband, well he didnt want to talk about it again and actually for the 1st few days after telling me his sister is looking for alternatives, he refused to talk to me and stopped me when I tried to explain the above to him so I guess I will not bother to explain until at a later date.
I still remember the insult when my son got his PSLE results: You quit your job to prepare your son for PSLE and he can't even qualify for RI or HCI, lauya lah you!!!
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: i felt like :spank: :nunchuk:
him when he uttered the nonsense and every year when the PSLE results came out and his colleagues were bragging about their kids' performance, he will never fail to remind me of the same old thing again.
He's a REAL I-D-I-O-T

[pinky]

adanial:

reading from the thread I feel that SIL taking advantage. I think someone shd slap your SIL and tell her to wake up.... shifting responsiblity seems to be an easy way out... if the child continue to be rebellious, there is someone to be the scape goat for the child unacceptable behaviour and that is wld be you and hubby . anyway, she's 19 and have her own mind.

she has always been like this and it got even worse after her divorce.
I think she's taking advantage of the pity that the siblings have on her.
As for her daughter's behaviour, I see with my own eyes since she was 3 and how her mother would pamper her.
for eg the mother praised her daughter for 'fighting for her own rights' when the girl told her teacher off: HOMEWORK SUCKS and I am not interested in doing them(she was in sec 2 then). The mother was laughing as she recounted to us about her daughter's bravery :yikes: :yikes:
so with this kind of attitude, how to control the teen as she grows up?