How to work with children with no interest in studying

[Sexyviper]

Ljas 1370,


Your nephew sounds exactly like my P1 son. I am also at my wits end with him. I used to enroll him in I CAN READ and MPM but stopped because he refused to go to the class. I used both soft and hard techniques but to no avail. Each lesson is like going to a war with him. So I finally gave up. Thought if he doesn’t want to get out of the house, I will engage home tutors to come to our house.

Just today, he moved our chairs to the door to block his tuition teacher to come into the house. After 10mins of tug-of-war with him, the teacher managed to get into the house but he then went to hide himself inside his waredrobe.

Like your nephew, he has no interests in studying and just want to play all day. I really tried all possible means e.g. counseling, punishment, rewards etc.

[tamarind]

[quote]
Everday only think of playing computer game.[/quote]This is the root of the problem. The parents have to fix it.

I know many students who are above 18 years old. They are actually very smart. But because of their addiction to computer games, they barely pass, some even failed many modules. It is a great pity, because these boys are very intelligent and it is a great waste of talent.

Parents have to do what is necessary for the child, even though it may be drastic. Remove all access from computers and ban all forms of electronic games. P3 is not still not too late. By the time the boy is over 18 years old, it will be hopeless.

[Fluffy]

tamarind:

[quote]
Parents have to do what is necessary for the child, even though it may be drastic. Remove all access from computers and ban all forms of electronic games. P3 is not still not too late. By the time the boy is over 18 years old, it will be hopeless.

[/quote]I agreed with Tamarind! My son almost became addicted to computer gaming from P4 to P6. I put my foot down and cut off access with password. It takes time to change their addiction. Be patient. I introduce more healthy activities as a family such as board games, outdoor sports incl in-line skating & cycling. I also bring my children to library and bookshops every other weekend. They picked up 2 music instruments each and now have no time for computer gaming. But I allow them to join Facebook and occassionally have fun with them on some Facebook game which is non-addictive. I perserve and succeed.

I have gone to a few Cyberwellness workshop where the speaker advised to delay exposing our children to internet gaming as late as possible. If you know how serious is addiction to computer gaming and the drastic consequences, you will never let your children touch computer. Unfortunately, this is impossible at this age of technology. Just steer them away from this evil habit as much as possible (if they need to use the computer for project, make sure you sit next to them and guide). Participate more in other activities and they will slowly lose interest. Inform the school and and get the teachers and counsellors' support as peer influence is often culprit of computer gaming addiction.

[daisyt]

I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too \"outdated\" in thinking. :?

[schellen]

daisyt:

I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too \"outdated\" in thinking. :?

No, you are not outdated. Maybe they think that he will become rich in the future just by playing games. (Yes, it is a possibility but the chances of it happening? :rotflmao:) Or maybe his parents haven't had the consequences (bad grades, bad eyesight, short attention span, bad social skills, obesity, etc) smack them in their faces yet. If those around them have already tried their best to get them to be concerned and failed, then, when the consequences kick in....., er, depends on you. (For me, if I have tried my best and got shooed away every time, I will then have the last laugh. But that is me.)

[daisyt]

schellen:

Or maybe his parents haven't had the consequences (bad grades, bad eyesight, short attention span, bad social skills, obesity, etc) smack them in their faces yet.

Actually, I can see some consequences already. Things like, cannot sit down properly to finish a meal, keep barking for PS3. Talk to the child, he is give you the blur face and eyes glued to the game. Must use games to \"convince\" him to eat or do something. As for results, because has not entered pri yet, so maybe still can't tell lor.

[schellen]

daisyt:

schellen:

Or maybe his parents haven't had the consequences (bad grades, bad eyesight, short attention span, bad social skills, obesity, etc) smack them in their faces yet.

Actually, I can see some consequences already. Things like, cannot sit down properly to finish a meal, keep barking for PS3. Talk to the child, he is give you the blur face and eyes glued to the game. Must use games to \"convince\" him to eat or do something. As for results, because has not entered pri yet, so maybe still can't tell lor.

Ah...notice I said \"smack them in their faces\"? They may need a very loud and rude awakening lor if they are that oblivious or in denial. And like you said, he hasn't started formal schooling yet.....

[smurf]

daisyt:

I have a friend, who encourage the child to play games when he was abt 4 or 5. All kinds of games ... computer, wii, psp, ps3 ... everything you name it, they have it. You see their games titles, you would faint ! Now the child is quite addicted but I don't see the concern of the parent. In fact, they are quite satisfied and happy that the child is so smart in the games, can even beat adults ... I just don't understand the mentality of my friend or I am too \"outdated\" in thinking. :?

erm, what I think is that the parents might want to have some time of peace or just want to keep them quiet? games can do that.

[schellen]

smurf:

erm, what I think is that the parents might want to have some time of peace or just want to keep them quiet? games can do that.

smurf, as parents, I'm sure some of us are guilty of using games and TV and PC as babysitters (me included) but I think this set of parents is a bit too much already. They even boast/brag(?) about their child's successes in games.

[Funz]

I just told DH not to introduce anymore computer games to DD and gadgets to DD. DH is a gadget man. So to date, DD has a gameboy, DS Lite and Wii. And recently DH just introduced DD to some kids’ games website. And practically everyday she will want to go onto the website to play. Granted the games are educational but I still think she should spend more time reading and doing non-computer or gadget related activities. Too much computer aided learning will shorten the child’s attention span as well. That is my opinion.