Suspect my maid has hp, advice needed

[sankan]

HI


I am also in a similar boat.

I am not very keen on maids having handphones because i heard of all the naughty stuffs they start doing once u have them.But in this time, it is a necessity. THe agent also said that it maybe impossible to find a helper with no handphones. So for my first maid i said u can use it at night and she agreed. For almost 1 yr she was ok with it. She is supposed to return it to me in the morning, but the days u forget to ask it back its always conveniently forgotten. Then one fine day, she just refused to give it back. She went back to phillipines within a week of this incident (Reason was some family problem and she said she wanted to contact family during day time also)

So i took another filipino, who when i interviewed her had no family in singapore. Within a couple of days she magically has a sister who has been working in singapore for almost 10 yrs then a huge number of cousins.. She intitally agreed to phone at night but talks way into the morning. When i question her she says, u dont let me talk during the day, need to talk to mom, kids, sister, husband blah blah.. Day time i forget to lock up the phone so agreed that she leaves the phone on the dining table as i am SAHM. After a while i found her frequently going to toilet and for long stretches of time. When i ask her she will have the nerve to tell me come n check ma'm.. Then one day i caught her red handed and found she has a boyfriend (She has a husband n 3 kids).. For tht she replied dont u want me to be happy ma'm u want me to be lonely lonely in singapore. We confesticated her phone and she tried a funny things to just go out and call that guy.. Finally after 1-2 wks of drama n we going to send her bck she agreed to behave and so we gave her the phone. For 6 mths no problem. Slowly her phone usage started getting more, and the phone is always inside her body so no way i can check whom she is talking to.. Then she went to phillipines in Nov, came back very well behaved so decided to renew her. Once i renewed her, her HP usage has again excalated to a level where she will be talking continously for 4-5 hrs.. 24/7 there is an ear piece on her and if i scold her it slips inside her body, the phone is still connected. Any instruction i give her, the other person is able to hear..Even now we can hear her talking at wee hours in the night but my hus was like as long as she does her work it is ok.. But now she is on the phone for more than 10 hours plus a day incld her night talks. I am getting sick n tired of it. I asked her where do u get the money, she says incoming free... So who has the money to call her so much and that too in the middle of the night and all that.. She has two phone one for local use and one for phillipines.

U must be wondering why i kept her for so long because her work was good and since i am at home, i dont leave the kids alone with her except for very very short spans of time. And it was always like, the next one could be worse than her (We had very bad experience with helpers, the first few ones were terrible including one whom we had to deport within few hrs and to the extent that we even got a notice for MOH for changing 5 maids in a yr for no mistake of us). Her work was ok till this date, but now she has slackened a lot and she is like i need to rest (Means phone). I realised on her off day that the dustbin hasnt been washed for months and the inside was black with fungus. :stupid: There are many many egs like that. Also she has two off days and she never comes back on time, she goes sharp at 9 but comes back only 7 plus even after telling her many times to come back by 6. (Contract says 9-6 pm). So that means for two sundays we are at home waiting for her to get back. If i go somewhere then she will return only 8 plus.

When i renewed her we did it without an agent help. Now she is saying if u dont allow me to talk give me a transfer. I told her we wont transfer we will send u back. Is it possible? What if i get a flight ticket and she refuses to go back? What is the MOM rules on maids torturing employers? Are there any rules on handphone usage? When i used to wrk, i never dared make any personal calls and here some one is on the phone the whole day with no rules to stop them. I treat her very well, the workload in my house is not much as i am at home and i totally take care of the kids..But still no gratitude..

Also she is claiming that she is doing some business (trying to bring in filipino maids and also selling some stuff). Isnt that illegal? Can i report? How to get proof? Her phone is inside her body all the time..

She is telling 'let me see whom u get, who will not use a handphone and will be nice to your kids'.. I am scared of that also. What if the next one is worse than hers.. And i really need a helper as part time maids who can come in daily r really difficult to find and with two small kids i need help at home.

Really lost as to what to do..

[MyFriend]

Amongst other things there are two which are most worrying:


"Also she is claiming that she is doing some business (trying to bring in filipino maids and also selling some stuff).

Real scary here. You can potenitally be harbouring someone for running a illegal business. Do you want to take that risk too?

She is telling ‘let me see whom u get, who will not use a handphone and will be nice to your kids’… I am scared of that also. What if the next one is worse than hers…

Sounds like your maid is giving you a hidden threat, and scaring you. Do you like this? She is going to use this on and on in the future for whatever things that she is going to demand from you. Are you prepared to be "blackmailed" by this?.

Yes the next one could be worse but the other 50% says it could be better than her. Where do you get your maids from. Same old agency? New maids? Transferred maids. You have to decide.

You and your hubby should have a good talk on this. I know what I will do (and there is not even the slightest hesitation on my part) but then you have to live with her. I am highlighting two issues that both of you should really discussed in depth and make your decision. You are sitting on a time bomb

[Breadandmuffins]

Dear sank an

My ex maid is similar to yours except that she used hp much less than yours and does not really gave us threats nor hv bf or biz. However, my dh and I still decided to let her transfer as we know that this hp issue would just make her attitude worse and her work slackened. It was a very difficult decision as her work is good and like what you said, the next one could be worse. She was also our first maid and was with us for 8 years. Note that I am a SAHM too with 4 young kids. Now, I am maid less although I hv a part time maid to help. Imho, When it gets too difficult to put up with her demands, it’s really time to change. No matter how, we are SAHMs, so we need to ‘work’ with the maid and lived with her. It took us more than a yr to let her trsf. So she is now with an expat family and can probably use hp more etc…

[Hard Truth]

Agree


Sometimes there are hard decisions to be made and yours must be difficult as the maid is good.

Somewhere a line has to be drawn. When maids start making demands especially with veiled threats it is about time to change.

Someone has correctly said in this forum that usage of handphones is one of the major problems that employers will have to managed

[queenie44]

I think seriously maids should not allow handphone. It is not because we treat them as slaves.

This is my first pinoy maid I employ and agency says we can keep her phone… maybe pass her the phone only at night to use. But I think is ok, so she at first dun use so much but after 6 mths, she started to use every night… then day also… and she is taking care of my baby.
Now she is even taking pics … posting on facebook. So once they using hp, is very very hard to control them…
Yes, you can think of dozens of reasons but they dun think for us. She already got complained by one neighbour who followed her to the park carrying my baby. Neighbour says baby cries but she still on the phone…
I just tell her in a nice way… I can believe her if she get one or two complaints but more than that, I will find it ridiculous. Anyway for me, she has been a good cook, clean the house and loves my baby… and she can listen… but what about other pple’s maids?

Not all maids can cook well… clean well… somemore indulge in phone… then how?

[nettie]

I had a fair share of my maid using her HP too.


She was very good when she first came, without HP. She is super clean, need and tidy. She cooked good food too without much coaching.

Then, she ask me if she can use the HP as the previous employer give it to her as a present for her hard work (which I had verify with the agency and employer). I told her ok (becos I think that i should not forgo her rights just becos she is a maid and she seems a good worker :rahrah: ) but she must only use it when she had finished her work and she agree.

Months down the road, her usage of the phone become worse! she had a ear pc that go tru her clothes to her ear (as if she is doing big biz or FBI?!) and stay in the toliet for at least 30 mins! She take a shower for at least 1 hour. Soon, she got herself a 2nd phone which can surf the net and FB.

The list of chores that i told her to do before i go to work was not done at the end of the day, i ask her why? she told me \"I am sorry, mdm\" she surf the net whole day!

She is suppose to take my dog down for a walk but instead of walking the dog. she sit at the planter (common ppties) at or near my neighbour house yaking and smsing away without walking my dog. Neighbour started to gossip among each other and I am being told \"nicely\" to ask her not to stand near their house to talk if not their maid will learn from her.

She got carried away after she had the phone.

I had told her many times but i realise she become very lazy and worse of all her standard drop tremenously, I had to impose some house rules in order to \"save\" her :skeptical:

Same as most wrote on the rule that i impose; she is suppose to surrender her phone in the morning before i go to work, she did it for a few times after that she din. When i ask her again and again, she keep quiet. Finally - yesterday is the show down time. She ask me for day off; i told her no way cos she is late when she go for off days,

she rebuked,\" I din even complain that i am late for my off days! the bus is late and i have waited a long time, etc.. so why u complain??!!!\" :slapshead:

I really give it to her! hahahaa.. She is late, and yet she still want to complain? :yikes: :yikes: Then i wonder who should i complain to? :gloomy: :faint:

i ask her where is the phone or sim card? she told me off, why must i give it to you? this is my phone! :stompfeet: :mad:

I ask her where is the swimming suit, she told me inside the washing machine? :mad: i question her again why she put them in the washer when she is told countless times not to? she told me that she had forgotten and what's the big deal? :?: :?:

lastly, I asked her why she give bread with tomato sauce to my boy for breakfast? she said, he want it so i give him la.. :yikes: i asked if that is your son will you give him that for breakfast? she keep quiet.

I think she is gone liao after the conversation. it is such a pity; she was a good worker, but the HP addiction had got her into trouble.

[verykiasu2010]

nettie:

.........
She got carried away after she had the phone. .......

............ but the HP addiction had got her into trouble.

that is the summary.....99.9% of maids are like that

[Hard Truth]

So very true that 99.9% of the maids let the use of hand phones consume them.


From both the above accounts they started as good maids. Maids that most employers would like to have.Good work, good attitude, super clean, taking care of kids etc.

As narrated by the employers, the usage of the phone increased and their work slackened. At the end of the day both the employers and the maids lose out

Employers get upset and the maids gets bolder and then when the limits of the employers have been tested the maids get into trouble.

Why then do employers still want to give their maids unlimited use of the hand phones?

Why do employers want to create their own problems? In thinking that they are being "understanding" the employers are indirectly giving the maids the leeway and opportunity to slacken in their work.

Given the opportunity to yak away or to do boring work, there is no prize for guessing what the maid will choose,

[nms1]

I think to say that 99.9% slack off when they have a hp is a gross exaggeration - I have had 4 maids all of whom have had a hp and it hasn’t had a negative impact at all.


We have to face the reality that they will all have one nowadays and we have to find ways to deal with it.

[sankan]

See so many of us are having the same problem a really good worker starting to get worse as time goes by cos of hand phones and off days…And its not that i slackened and gave her handphone. You have no choice but to give them a handphone else they will try hundred difft ways to sneak one in. I think very minority number of maids are able to restrain themselves when they have a handphone but for majority of them it is a new found freedom. Just like teenagers or a kid who got a new toy. Plus they dont have any family to police them esp no husband around. My maid lived with her husband for 14 yrs with no problem but now he is a really bad man and she wants to leave him and find somebody new!!


So what is the solution? IF i say i will take away ur handphone she wont agree. else she may even say something so rude that I will loose face… What is MOM going to do about this? When so many many of us are having the same problem and all because of handphone… Just like companies have a policy on personal calls during office hours, why not MOM set some rules for the maids. Alteast one or two rules which is favourable to the employer? Some thing to put these misbehaving maids in place…

I never ever let my maid take my kids to playground or any other place alone… What if she yaps on the phone and forget to take proper care… IF something happens she will get away with a sorry but her sorry wont reverse the situation. So I am not taking any chances…


The biz thing is what she told me But how to find proof that she is doing some stuff? I dont want to get myself into trouble…

Also can i get a ticket and send her back? Is that allowed? What if she refuses to go?

And my biggest biggest worry = How am I going to control the next maids HP? I can set the rules but what if she doesnt want to listen like wht my current maid is doing? I change her again? And the money that we spend changing each one of them…

Really wish there was some rule on hand phone usage…

BTW, my maid also has a FB acct and accord to her operated by her cousin as her ph doesnt have data plan. I said that is the last thing i need. To see my kids photos on her page…