Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

[HAPPYH]

Imami:

sleepy:

If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

wouldn't this hurt the child's esteem? Just like how slapping will do?

But I do have a friend whose father made the sisters kneeled on top of inverted bottle caps. You know this toothed crown top bottle caps from beer bottles? He would turn them over, such that the tooth sides were facing up and made the girls kneeled on them. :nailbite:

:yikes:

[sleepy]

Imami:

sleepy:

If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

wouldn't this hurt the child's esteem? Just like how slapping will do?

But I do have a friend whose father made the sisters kneeled on top of inverted bottle caps. You know this toothed crown top bottle caps from beer bottles? He would turn them over, such that the tooth sides were facing up and made the girls kneeled on them. :nailbite:

Nah, if you know my kids, you will notice they are overflown with self esteem :rotflmao:


It's important to explain why they are being punished and I always walk through with them my thoughts process after they're done with kneeling (& I have 消气）and then they will apologise to me and promise not to repeat.

Don't worry, it's not a daily occurence I think my dd2 kneeled thrice so far. My dd1 is the one who kneeled more often, though I think certainly less than 10 times so far. During their preschool years only.

It's important that they learn to reflect on their mistakes & I find that kneeling is more effective than caning in driving the message across because they are able to tell me clearly why they should not behave in that manner & they rarely repeat again

[ammonite]

Totally OT. I have no daughters, but looking at all the adorable cheongsams on sale how I wish I can dress one up! Ahhh…so cute, how to cane??!

[missk]

ammonite:

Totally OT. I have no daughters, but looking at all the adorable cheongsams on sale how I wish I can dress one up! Ahhh...so cute, how to cane??!

you need to have a girl first hehe... New year resolution?

But I believe fathers spoil girls more, so they more likely to whine to get their way. Most girls I know are people pleasers even if they are spoilt. They will behave to please. On the other hand, my boy, like many other boys, are more. .. Um... wild? So what if you scold them? They will just smile a cheeky smile and say \"Mummy be happy?\" Or throw another tantrum? Maybe he has BIG personality, even though we don't spoil him (grandparents do though). He is curious, impulsive, loud, active, laughs and cries like it is going out of fashion, always talking and moving. Since before birth :scared:

[Imami]

sleepy:

Imami:

[quote=\"sleepy\"]
If I'm super mad, I will make them kneel facing the wall till I cool down.

wouldn't this hurt the child's esteem? Just like how slapping will do?

But I do have a friend whose father made the sisters kneeled on top of inverted bottle caps. You know this toothed crown top bottle caps from beer bottles? He would turn them over, such that the tooth sides were facing up and made the girls kneeled on them. :nailbite:

Nah, if you know my kids, you will notice they are overflown with self esteem :rotflmao:


It's important to explain why they are being punished and I always walk through with them my thoughts process after they're done with kneeling (& I have 消气）and then they will apologise to me and promise not to repeat.

Don't worry, it's not a daily occurence I think my dd2 kneeled thrice so far. My dd1 is the one who kneeled more often, though I think certainly less than 10 times so far. During their preschool years only.

It's important that they learn to reflect on their mistakes & I find that kneeling is more effective than caning in driving the message across because they are able to tell me clearly why they should not behave in that manner & they rarely repeat again[/quote]Oh ok. I get it now. I am just very curious how come making the kid's kneel would work...

[Imami]

ammonite:

Totally OT. I have no daughters, but looking at all the adorable cheongsams on sale how I wish I can dress one up! Ahhh...so cute, how to cane??!

I don't support caning la but darling, when they get on your nerves, no matter how cute they look, you would still whack. My own son was very cute when he was younger, or so said most folks. But I tell u 他老妈打人可不心软••• 可爱不可爱， 老娘发火了，照打 :mad:

[david59]

Allow me to share my two cents worth. In our student care centre, the parents wonder why their kids behave so much better than at home. One main reason is : the kids know the rules n if they break the rules, they will be punished accordingly. They may use all the tears but they know they will still have to face the punishment. Eventually, the kid knows that good behavior is the best way to a pleasant life in the centre.

At home, it really depends on the will n resolve of the parents to deal with their kids. Which methods we use as parents is fine as long as the kid is deprived of certain privileges when certain rules or bad behaviors r committed. Can be caning, kneelings, ban from certain privileges
What r the ‘no no’ are physical abusive ( caning is only acceptable on the buttock so that it will not shame the kids in public), shaming the kids in front of others, hurling destructive words at the kids like ‘I don’t love u’, ‘U r so useless compare to so n so’, etc.
Bottom line is : Be firm in carrying out discipline but never stop loving ur kids.

[missk]

I wonder if positive discipline methods more effective? Meaning loads of praise over good behaviour, and trying to be understanding of how they feel when they misbehave… And being overall the super parent who never lets your child go hungry or tired, and gently using timeout/ removing possibility of misbehaviour to correct undesirable behaviour?


Will it work for a child like mine who simply love to misbehave just to see ur reaction? Each time he throws an item, he will look to see if I watch him lor… The grandparents even say he dashes towards danger and STOP just before it and will see if you chase him.

Don’t get me wrong… I think corporal punishments has a place, its just that I don’t do it very well as I only use it when ANGRY!! And thats wrong again!! So I end up being guilty of hitting him sometimes. But what do parents do if your child has tested your patience to the max limits?

I even shouted sometimes " I had enough of your behaviour and I am going on time out!" (again wrong to shout sighz)

[White_Gale]

i will cane my children if they misbehave and after 3 warnings. Cane on the palm. Then they will remember.

[wowmama]

Like to share an article about \"to cane or not to cane\" with fellow parents for reference.


http://www.asiaone.com/News/Education/Story/A1Story20090113-114279.html